by Dr Gonzo
Not everyone fears success but to some, at least subconsciously, fear holds them back
|Self-destructive behaviour...denial and self-sabotage to maintain the status quo, is based on our own fear.|
In my opinion, fear is the most common driving force in a human...and WHY? What is it that we fear?
The unknown? To be successful? Only to realise how people perceive and treat us changes? And when it comes to self-image, especially in modern society. Imagine someone who lived a few hundred years ago worrying about their appearance...looking at images and wishing they were...taller, prettier, slimmer...all of the issues to do with self-image that we then blame on the pictures we see and are bombarded with. Whereas I believe it comes down to our own insecurities, rather than the false and unattainable images created by the fantasy pages of glossy magazines.
Perhaps this is the case for those of us who search for happiness, yet never find it, preferring to wallow in self-pity, rather than giving ourselves a chance at real happiness (whatever that might entail). In order to find happiness involves a certain amount of risk, and it's a gamble many are not willing to take because if we lose, that will likely put us back even further than we were before. Better the devil you know, right? But, is it really like this? Or do we (in many cases) ensure our failure because we fear success?
Everything we do has consequences. There will be a positive AND a negative attached to the outcome. So for some, it makes perfect sense to avoid finding happiness because then, there would be no more sympathy...a case of living for the condolences and the, "Oh, you poor thing." A mentality that for some becomes habitual, and to change this way of thinking, creates a fear that those who once cared, will care no more.
That's a tuff thing to face up to...and is not something most people are or would be, willing or able to admit to themselves.
I'm not saying that this is everyone...far from it, although it is a trait I have seen, and am willing to admit to myself. We humans have complex emotions and are, by and large, complicated critters. And...isn't it better to receive the sympathy of others, in lieu of the risk we take in seeking and finding happiness?
I was tempted to replace the word sympathy with pity, but pity is such a difficult thing on a personal level, to deal with. As is truth, and yet, are these two slight variations, sympathy and or pity, what we seek in certain circumstances? The difference between empathy, sympathy and pity is blurred, and the risk is, if we are TOO HAPPY, we may be envied and perhaps even despised...or at the very least, become so annoying that no one will want to know us.
I have always been fascinated by the subconscious, and I think on this particular subject, and in our day to day lives, the subconscious rules.