Rated: E · Chapter · Biographical · #2288562
A reclaiming, if you will, of who I was and want to be. You may or may not relate.
|I am using Grammarly for editing and checking, but I have chosen to ignore some recommendations to be me in the moment. |
Rediscovering me -- The series, Chapter 1
This is day fifteen (15) of rediscovering me, and I am making progress.
I tackled the job of buying furniture for my upstairs area, which has gone without furniture for more than two years. So far, I am working on only one room, and I have some idea of the pace and cost to refurbish when you are broke. LOL
Back in the day, I would just go out, pick out what I wanted, make the payment, set the delivery date, and wait for the furniture to arrive. Life is different now. I have to pace myself and my spending.
When I was younger, I was taught to use light colors )off-white, eggshell white, beige, etc. Today, I am going as far off-center as I can go with gray and white blends in every single room -- all six (6) of them -- walls, floors, furniture, and trims.
The bedding will be different -- bright, loud, and cheery. I am even thinking about maid service again. Back in the day (there we go again), I needed help with staying on top of the house, four, five, six or more children, and my mother, so I had maid service -- at least until the last one walked off refusing to clean a certain little girl's room. LOL
I am also putting more time into writing. Writing has always been a passion, and if only I could find or somehow manage to get my hands on all the things I've written over the years, I would have volumes of writings to categorize and share. No such luck. Some burned up in my old home in Georgia, some were lost on crashed computers, and some were just tossed. Now, I am trying to save everything to writing.com, and it's working.
One of my favorite pastimes was baking. I would bake cakes, pies, and fresh bread at the drop of a hat. I would take a freshly baked cake to church almost every Sunday. I did not need a reason. I also liked making fresh candy and making cookies. I smile at my daughter Nneka Barnes because she has taken up the mantle and is one heck of a baker. She even got her chef's license and certification -- something I am thinking about.
LOL. Rediscovering one's self requires admitting to dropping the ball along the way for all kinds of reasons and accepting the fact that it was your choice to do so. It also means unlearning those things that distract from allowing you to be truly you -- not mother, breadwinner, leader, crisis manager, can-do girl, or even or any things else. You will learn that you do not have to be busy 24/7/365 days a year. You can do absolutely nothing and be happy at it. (This one is hard for me -- but I am getting it.
Rediscovery means saying no to requests from others to attend meetings, events, social functions, or serve on committees. All those things take up time you could use being and rediscovering you.
Only fifteen (15) days into 2023, and I am in a good place. I commiserate every now and then over time lost, but I remind myself that today is the very first day of the rest of my life. What has happened is behind me, over and done. What is coming has no meaning because I have no crystal ball, but what is is what is happening right now, and it is up to me to choose the path I wish to travel for me and not someone else, children, grandchildren, and great-grands included. They are on their paths and trained to do exceptionally well -- their choices.
There is more to come on this adventure.