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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2289432
It should have been simple, and it was --- simply terrifying!
About 675 Words

I wrote this as flush fiction, and I believe it's very well qualified. There was some prompt about how a character would behave in a remote location. Those who know me already know that I can't seem to behave anywhere, especially in my lonely writer's garotte. This is one result.

         I'd been wanting to watch the new splatter flick, Psychotic Catsup Girls From Hershey Pennsylvania for weeks. I finally rented it, but then [gasp] I lost the remote control for my new super-easy to operate Purple-BEEM player!! These new players are so easy to operate that they don't have controls on the device. After all, there's no need for them; right? Who walks to the player when one can use the remote?
         On this dark, stormy night and just when I needed to watch something gross since my girlfriend was out for the evening, I had lost the remote!! There was only one thing to do!
         Braving the driving rain, I swam out to my 1948 Packard convertible and got in. I put the ragtop up and drove to my favourite electronics store, Zip-Zap-Kerplow. It was close to closing time, so I knew I had to hurry!
         I parked my car and walked in. There was no one at the counter, so I called out a few times. No one answered, so I walked around the counter. Calling out again, I stepped into a large, spooky room filled with rows and rows of 7-foot high shelving. The shelving was filled with [gasp] the very type of objects I sought! I was in the remote location, where all the millions of different types of remote control devices for the hundreds of different types of electronic devices are located!
         I stood there boggling at the number of remotes there, and also at the eeriness in the dark corners. The room was painted in gradations of dark greys, which were darkest in the corners and around the remotes. I knew the store owner fairly well. All feared Hitchcock. He was a grimly determined small business owner who was anything but small. The paint scheme was his idea. I know this is true because if an employee had painted the place without Hitchcock's permission, the employee would have been fired.
         I stepped slowly farther and farther into the strange shadows. I could feel bumps rising up on the goose I was carrying. My hair began to stand on end like quills upon the fearful porpentine! I saw a phone on the wall, but still the place was bathed in shadows, which is just as well because it needed a good cleaning. Cobwebs were everywhere!! I'm not easily frightened --- except where cobs are concerned! Ugghh, those things scare me. It's corny that I'm afraid of cobs, but well, there it is. The telephone.
         It wasn't ringing, but my ears were ringing with the strange silence and I was wringing my hands in my agitation. I called out again. I wanted my pizza to arrive at my house soon after I'd be there myself. I peered around warily.
         Finally, I spotted a chart on the wall. The chart showed the location of every remote control in the place! The chart had the remote model numbers and locations printed on little, colour-coded, cat-shaped cards. Easy-peasy to follow! Unfortunately, the room was dark and all cats are gray in the dark. I struck a match to be able to see the chart, and there it was! The chart! I followed the directions and soon found the remote control I needed! Mine is one of those ELRs, easy to lose remotes. I found the model number I needed and shook out the match. It was easy to do because I was already shaking with fear!
         I headed back toward the exit as fast as I could go in the dimly lit room, thankful that I knew at least one Latin word.
         Finally back in my car, I decided to put the replacement remote in my glove compartment so it wouldn't join the missing remote in limbo. As I opened my glove box, out fell a smallish black object with at least 300 tiny rubber-coated buttons. My missing remote! I returned that remote to the glove box, and the replacement remote joined it there. Now, I could return home to eat pizza and watch Psychotic Catsup Girls From Hershey Pennsylvania for weeks. Until a new splatter flick is released!
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