A walk in the countryside

Words 500


I woke up this morning with the hangover from hell. Josh’s twenty first birthday bash had been a hoot, though I’m not sure of what happened after the strippers arrived. At least I managed to get home in one piece. Somehow.

After several cups of coffee and a greasy breakfast, I was feeling a little more human. I decided to take a drive into the countryside to blow the cobwebs away. I knew the perfect place. I used to go walking there with my mum when I was a kid. She would laugh at my fear of cows. I mean to say, to little boy me they were massive creatures. It was only bulls you had to watch out for, so mum told me.

***

Oh shit! I meant that literally and stopped to mourn my new sneakers when I stepped straight into a pile of the stuff
         A field of contented black and white cows, chewing the cud, I believe that’s the correct term? What could be more peaceful? Mm, that’s what I thought, but there was a bull about a hundred metres away and he looked at me. I’m not keen on the way he’s stopped chewing and was staring. Right at me. Yes, he was. Definitely. Right in the eye.

I’m not sure what was the best strategy. It was as far to run back to the style, as it was to continue. Anyhow there was no way I could outrun this beast. Perhaps I might have tried to simply stroll nonchalantly on by, and he’d continue keeping his eye on his lady friends. Or perhaps he was not interested in girls? Maybe he was gay? I shouldn’t have let my girlfriend talk me into buying those red trousers.

I needed to come to a decision.
         I’ld go back, simply turn around as if I’d just remembered something urgent.
         I walked purposefully. “Hi beautiful. Love your big brown eyes.” At least she’s ignoring me, chewing contentedly as I pass by.
         My breath was sounding a bit ragged. Chill out man, are you a man or a timid rodent?
         The sky had gone darker suddenly. I felt the air change. I was trying to be rational here, but the simple act of the sun disappearing behind the clouds gave me the creeps. It’s was if it was foretelling the start of a horror story. How was this all going to end? My imagination was running rife. I needed to take control of myself.

Why had the cows all suddenly raised their heads? They were being spooked by something.
         My heart was pounding in my ears, either it was my heart or the sound of the bull's galloping feet. Christ what if I had a heart attack? Would that be preferable to being gored to death? It was closing in. I could feel it behind me. I turned to see the enraged bull closing the gap. I could see its piercing red eyes and hear thundering snorts, signalling anger.
         I was running, desperately searching for an escape, anything to evade the fury of that charging beast!