Fantastic News Broadcasting Station

"Here at FNBS we guarantee that we will give you the most exciting news you will ever experience. It doesn't matter to us if we have all the facts or if we even have any factual data. No, here at FNBS we will make something up. In fact we prefer to make something up, because that way you get the most outrageous news and it will keep you glued to your seat in anticipation of what is coming next."

BREAKING NEWS...

"Elon Muss has just landed on Mars. He and forty other people are setting up their base camp right now as we speak. We have live footage of their spacecraft landing. Oops, it is skidding across the surface of Mars. Looks like the landing gear isn't working. We would cut to commercial, but we don't want to miss seeing if someone dies because of this foul up."

MORE BREAKING NEWS...

"A massive asteroid is heading for a collision course with earth right this moment. Our cameras are trained on it. Folks we have only a few minutes to live. Better say your prayers. Oh, wait would you look at that the asteroid just made a 90 degree turn away from earth. Looks like you can stop saying your prayers and start living it up again. Please keep doing your part to speed up climate change. It will finally be nice to get a tan from anywhere in the world once it is completed."

MARS NEWS UPDATE..

"Lets continue with our talk with Elon Muss. He assures us that everyone got off the spacecraft safely and points to the crowd behind him. When asked why there are only 20 people standing behind him and not 40, he said to mind my own business. Sorry folks we have lost our live feed."

HUMAN INTEREST STORY...

"We are going live with Philip Philips at the dumpster behind Casey's Casual Wear in downtown Bixby. Philip, what's going on down there."

Philip grins real big and says, "You are not going to believe this but we have a mother cat giving birth right now and so far she has given birth to 26 kittens and they are all alive and not only that we have found homes for all of them and..."

BREAKING NEWS..

"Sorry to interrupt Philip, but this is just in from Mars. There has been an explosion and almost everyone is dead. Our live camera footage is showing someone running towards the spacecraft. Yes, I can make the person out, its Elon Muss. He's getting on board the spacecraft and it is taking off. Its a miracle considering the landing gear isn't working. I have just been handed a note, Elon Muss stock is plummeting. Doesn't look like he will have much to return to. At this rate he will be lucky if he can afford a singlewide trailer in Pensacola Florida."

SIGNING OFF...

"I wish I had more fake, I mean fantastic news for you, but our A.I. software has just quit working. When we get it back up and running again we will have more outrageous exciting fake, I mean fantastic news that you will believe, because we are just that good! Signing off for now, Walter Crondike."