Shakespeare (The meta sonnet)

I read through his Complete Works, the old bard
Ye olde English have we much, so we see
You thought math was difficult, this was hard
So it teaches you who you want to be

Richard was a rap, Henry a classic
So that's where black slang comes from, now I know
Thread needles while sucking on a Vlasic
That's what it feels like, read it as you go

Though I've written more words than him today
That's not true, you see, let me explain it
There was no MS Word back in his day
To copy a file was a tall drain pit

I had to part with my beloved 'speare
Now it's time to get my but in geare