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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2315194-Just-answer-the-question
Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2315194
An alien abduction gone wrong.
Just Answer The Question


"Oh, my word, is this an alien abduction?"
"What? No. I'm not an alien. You are."
"AAAAAAAH! You can talk!"
"Well, yes. So can you. Should I scream as well?"
"Don't eat me!"
"Oh, do be quiet. You're being trite. I am not going to eat you."
"You, you are going to dissect me or probe me or take out my brain and eat it."
"Where are you coming up with all these ideas?"
"I've seen them on T.V. and in the movies.
"Well, that explains it.
"Explains what? What are you talking about?"
"In 1894, your time, The Coalition of Planets sent a team to investigate your planet's readiness for admittance to the Coalition. The team was stranded and assimilated. They enhanced your rudimentary technology to improve your moving pictographs."
"Motion Pictures? Television, cable, videos, streaming, internet, . ."
"Please stop. That is sufficient. What about reading? Your species does know how to read, doesn't it.?"
"Of course we do, don't be stupid. Oh, sorry. Don't be mad at me for calling you that, Mr. Alien."
"As I stated, you are the alien. Now, let's continue where we left off.
"Can't you just take me home and wipe my mind or something so I forget about this?"
"I only need one thing from you."
"Oh, I knew this was going to be a terrible day; the Horoscope said so. You do want my brain.
"For the last time, I do not want your defective, horoscope-loving brain. I. Do. Not."
"Mary, Joseph, and the Lord, you will probe me! I knew that is what you were after. Probing, it is always the probe,"
"Just shut up. I don't even have the blasted probe. I left it at home. Even if I had the probe, you're not my type to probe, so there."
"Well, that was rude of you to say. No need to get nasty and insulting."
"Listen, human. I mean it. I swear by Zinggle, I will put you in the airlock and flush you into space, understand? Just say yes."
"Yes."
"Good. My next question is simple and requires a simple answer. Think carefully before answering. Just answer yes if you understand."
"Yes."
"Good. Now, do you know where there are any talking goldfish? I am starving."


368 Words









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