Dream Journal of a Girl (I Can't Forget)

Two young men were walking through town, chatting leisurely as they went. Cutting through the nearby park they continued, slowing at a bench and sitting down from a short rest. “So how have things been? Recently you have been looking exhausted. Work being that much of a pain?” One man asked the other who was leaning back, staring up at the sky. “Eh, I wouldn’t really say so, neither here nor there really..”
“Yea? Gotta be something then. Staying up too late?”
“Mmm-something like that I suppose.”
“C’mon man, don’t dodge the question. I’ve known you damn near twenty years now, I can tell when you’re stuck on something.”
The other man let out a brief sigh as he sat up, “It’s nothing important, ever see something out of place or whatever, that you kinda get hung up on thinking ‘what even the heck’ over and over?”
“I think I get what you mean, like when you go grocery shopping and find stuff sitting in aisles they don’t even belong in.”
“Y-yea, sure.. Something like that I guess. I mean, that’s more people being lazy, but close enough.” the man chuckled a little and continued, “Anyway. You could say that my head’s been ‘stuck’ on something like that. Or rather, someone..” The other man smirked, “Ah, a girl I bet? What’s her name? Is she cute?” the man waved the other off, unamused. “No, shut up man. It’s nothing like that. Or well, maybe..but not the way you’re implying. I saw someone, well I didn’t see them exactly.. But I got the strangest sense of deja vu when they were there, I know for a fact I’ve never met them before though.”
“Okay, you lost me bud. How do you meet someone without meeting them? Where’d you see this person in question?”
“In a dream…I think? It felt more like a memory than a dream however, so it’s hard to tell if it’s one or the other. It was a week or so ago anyway so I don’t remember any details about it, it’s kind of just a blur. That feeling is stuck in my head though, like seeing your best friend for the first time in years.”
“That so? Didn’t think you’d have gender-bent dreams about m-ahh” The other man was cut off by a swift punch to the side, “I’m serious man! And why the hell would I have gender-bent fantasies about you? That’s just weird.”
“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help myself. That is a little odd though. Maybe your head was trying to process information that night and things got a little mismatched? Has it happened more than once, or in the last couple days?” the man simply shrugged, “I’m not sure, you know how it goes-your mind usually forgets most dreams and such shortly after waking up, not much I can say about it now.”
“Well, maybe you could try writing it down before you forget then? That way if something comes up again you can recall it later.”
“That sounds…really bothersome.”
“Well don’t say I didn’t offer any advice later on, come on let's get goin’.” The two got up and continued their walk.


         Two weeks have passed since they had that conversation, though he forgot time and time again, the same bizarre dream happened repeatedly. Once again the two were walking through town, both having just finished work for the day. “Still looking ragged, I see. I hate seeing you have a hard time like this, so I just went and got this for you” tossing a small composition book and pointing at his friend, “take it and write. I know you think it’s probably pointless and a pain. But just try it. Maybe if you take the time to write whatever it is, it might end up not bothering you as much in the end. And if not, so what? Just trash the book and move on.” the other let out a defeated sigh, “alright..sure, sure. I’ll do it. Whatever man.”


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February 20, 20XX.
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Nothing really happened tonight. Not sure what I’m supposed to write here..
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February 22, 20XX.
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I don’t remember much, but I think I saw some girl in my dreams last night. Not sure what she looked like or anything, when I try to focus on what’s left in my head it gets even more blurry. I didn’t think it was gonna be this annoying.
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February 25, 20XX.
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I definitely saw her again last night. I don’t know who she really is, name or otherwise, but I’m certain it's the same person. Guess until I figure a name or anything I’ll just put a placeholder in here? [The Girl] should be simple enough for now.
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March 19, 20XX.
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         I had this weird dream last night, there was this girl bugging me while I was walking along the beach. Every time I tried to ask her name, she dodged the question. I couldn’t help shaking the feeling that I’d seen her somewhere before, I dunno, probably just a jumbled memory or something.
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March 22, 20XX.
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Nothing all that weird happened last night, I’m guessing it was normal or I simply can’t remember whatever happened. Better nothing than problems.
Writing these is so pointless, not that good at it either.
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March 27, 20XX.
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         I’m not sure what was happening, but I was running. Running as though life depended on it. I kept yelling someone’s name, but every time I tried to recall it I got nothing. I ran down the halls of whatever building I was currently in, turning here and there, throwing doors open. Whomever I was looking for, it felt like they were just right around the corner and I simply needed to move faster. I threw another door open and I was outside, and began running down the sidewalk. There wasn’t anyone around as I continued to sprint.
         Turning the street corner, I had just caught sight of someone entering another building, the tail of their hair flowing as they walked through the door. Faster, I thought, I had to move faster. But then my legs felt numb and I couldn’t move any longer, I abruptly collapsed to the ground.
I was staring at my bedroom ceiling. I still had a lingering feeling of loss for not being able to catch whomever I was chasing after.
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April 2, 20XX.
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          I was standing in a lustrous garden and felt something prick my chest. It was bothersome and wouldn’t go away. When I looked down it felt as though all my weight was shifting forward with me, and it got stranger from there. Long, black hair draped down past my eyes and hung low over my shoulders. My hair is supposed to be blonde, not black.. At first I didn’t believe what I saw, I apparently had a modest sized set of breasts pressing against my shirt. I guess I was a chick now? I brushed my supposedly now black hair out of the way and looked around. I had never seen this garden before and the surrounding area looked foreign as well. I called out to see if anyone was around and unsurprisingly, a disturbingly feminine voice came from my mouth.
         After walking around I still couldn’t find anyone and wanted to just get out of there, trying to will myself awake, to no avail. I just kept walking around for who knows how long, until I woke up this morning. It was certainly strange being a woman..how my mind could even process and simulate it is mind-boggling for sure.
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June 11, 20XX.
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         We were walking down the sidewalk together, I’m not sure why we were there or what our plans were. These dreams never seem to make sense even though they tend to follow some sort of story. We talked about something on the way but I couldn’t process the conversation so I just let things happen as they did. [the girl] was now clinging to my arm, seemingly affectionately as we entered some building. I couldn’t recognize anything around here, so I doubt this is based on a memory of some sort. It’s always strange having this awareness in dreams-knowing it’s all in your head but at the same time not being able to do anything about it-almost like you’re watching a movie in first person.
          I blinked and everything had changed, giving me a sense of foreboding. Now we walked together through what appeared to be some sort of mall with people moving about all around us. I felt a sigh escape me, I hated when it put me in large, crowded areas like this. I lowered my head in annoyance and saw I was pushing something, a stroller? Why in the hell did I have this? Thankfully there wasn’t any child in it, I don’t want to know what implications this dream would try to push on me then. [the girl] asked what was wrong because I’d stopped moving, and I told her nothing and started again. Everyone around us kept glancing this way, was something strange about a couple walking through the mall with a stroller? Wait, couple!? The “story” must have been influencing my thoughts, great. It was a dream, so if I concentrated enough surely I could’ve changed things since it was all in my head anyway. As I focused more I had a strange feeling, as though I was about to wake up from the whole thing and found myself stopping.
         Now I stood in a crowded atrium area in the mall, [the girl] next to me had seemed different somehow, was she in different clothes? I couldn’t remember what she had on before, but that didn’t really matter. My head felt a little cloudy but I ignored it. [the girl] started walking and I followed after her, still pushing the bizarre, empty stroller along. A strange voice spoke in the back of my head as my gaze lowered toward [the girl’s] waist, where her long, brown hair came to an end. She led me towards a bench on the far side of the room, and we sat down. She happily slid closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. This sight was so strange, I didn’t even know who this girl was, yet here we were cozied up like a couple out on a date.
         After a moment she sat up and said she would be right back and bounded off around the corner. As I sat there dumbfounded, I looked back to the empty stroller again. Seriously, what was this doing here? Something felt off and as I was about to think what exactly it was, [the girl] came running back energetically, hopped onto the bench, and looked up at me expectantly. Confused, I looked over at her, apparently she had changed clothes. Now she had some strange tiger-pattern hoodie on, there were some cute ears attached to the hood that was hanging over her shoulders. I felt something whisper in the back of my mind again and tried my best to ignore it. I guess she wanted me to say something with how she was looking up at me awaiting some kind of response, so I told her she looked cute with it and she puffed her cheeks out in a pout. This is why I don’t like dealing with these sorts of things. I looked away to ease the awkward tension between us.
         The voice in my head kept going on and on as I tried to ignore it. I tried to think of a way out of this awkward position I was stuck in, and found myself raising my hand in front of me. With a quick snap of my fingers, I felt a smile creep up on my face. The voice in the back of my head had finally shut up, but now [the girl] was looking at me quizzically. She rose up a little in her seat as I said something to her, but I couldn’t hear the words leave my mouth. Now [the girl] was beaming a broad smile and hopped up from the bench, I stood up with her not sure where it was going. I looked down at her-yes down at her, somehow I was a whole head taller than her now when we were normally only two or three inches apart. I caught sight of something white under her hoodie as she moved over to the empty stroller. Good, maybe she’ll take it now so I won’t have to push it around, or so I thought. Instead, she went around the front of it and plopped herself down into the seat of it, pointing forward as if to command me to start pushing her. I was completely lost by now, so I just gave up and decided to indulge her, no harm there, and began to push her. Everyone around us gave one of two responses; smiles of understanding at my situation, or dazed confusion at me pushing a grown woman in a stroller through public. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment as more people continued to stare as I walked with her carrying on like this was the most natural thing in the world.
         I just kept walking through the halls trying to keep myself from turning and running from all this nonsense. This was all a dream, these people weren’t real, it doesn’t bother me. At Least that’s what I kept telling myself. After a couple minutes listlessly walking through this supposed mall, which seemed to stretch on forever, [the girl] was out of energy, or she finally got bored. A sigh of relief escaped me as I thought about this weird charade finally being over. [The girl] craned her head to look up at me, she had one hand resting in her lap and the other reaching up at me, “Hey, when did I -” the rest of her words came out in silence even as her mouth moved. When did she what?
         I jolted awake to the sound of my alarm. It was morning. I never did figure out what she was talking about.
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