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Rated: E · Short Story · Women's · #2318967
A potion that let's the puns out.
Purple Princess sat waiting, growing bored as the dreary day dragged on. Rain, never her friend, seemed to want to stick around for eternity, hiding the much-needed sunlight she so desperately needed, and depressing the entire realm with its ghastly pall. The Princess couldn’t take it anymore.

“By all the gods, I'm parched! Bring me more wine,” she snapped, her usually cheerful voice tinged with irritation.

“Yes, my lady.”

The servant girl, a shy little thing, draped in a dull gray scurried off to do her bidding.

“Lady Lyn,” the Princess began, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. If she wanted to keep some things private, she would have to wait another time.

“I know, it’s an ugly day, we’re trapped here yet again. You need not repeat it once more,” Lyn interjected, shaking her head in annoyance.

The server girl returned with the wine, quickly moving to fill the goblet the Princess held out for her.

“Do you know what the grape said when it was crushed?”

Lady Lyn groaned.

Princess Megan Rose, who had sat across from them smiled, knowing what would come.

“Here we go again,” Lady Angelica muttered.

Lady Sandra laughed. “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell us.”

The Princess dismissed all the comments around her and stared at the server girl, filling the cup close to the rim. “Nothing, it just let out a little wine.”

The girl made eye contact, her mouth agape as the blood-red liquid spilled over the top, dripping down Purple’s hand and onto the orange floor.

Lady Angelica and Princess Megan Rose laughed. Lady Lyn was not amused and Lady Sandra pretended she had not seen or heard any of the happenings.

The Princess giggled before taking a noisy sip from the goblet.

She sighed, disappointed not to have the reactions she was hoping for.

“Waking up this morning was eye-opening,” she said.

“How so?” Lady Angelica asked.

“Are you going to do this all day?” Lady Lyn asked.

The Princess tried to suppress the smile, but between the many glasses of wine, and the boredom, that was proving impossible. “Yes. My main goal today is laughter.” She turned to Lady Lyn, “Including yours!”

Lady Lyn stood. “I think I’ll go up to my chambers.”

“So soon?” Lady Sandra asked.

Lady Lyn nodded, trying to make her escape.

“If you insist. But do not trust the stairs,” Purple shouted. “They’re always up to something!”

Princess Megan Rose and Lady Sandra laughed. Purple watched as Lyn cracked a smile, holding onto her laughter for dear life, and continued out the doors.

“Got her,” she mused, satisfied that that would be the best she would get this morning.

Purple finished the drink in her goblet, set it down, stood, and headed to the window to watch the rain coming down. She just needed a little hope on the horizon, being pent up indoors for the last three days was taking a toll. She needed the freedom to walk the grounds, explore nature, mingle, and make others laugh. It was her calling. However, not everyone enjoyed her constant interjections of humor. For those who did, she always found a way to make them laugh. For those who didn’t, including Lady Lyn, it only served her determination, hoping they would eventually understand her, and the Princess's need to make people laugh would be fulfilled.

Lady Sandra stepped up beside her. “The seas look turbulent this morning.”

“I bought a boat,” the Princess confessed.

Lady Sandra turned toward her, her eyebrows rising in question. “Oh?’

“Yes, it was on sail…” the Princess was waiting, hoping to hit her mark.

Lady Sandra shook her head before she laughed. “You never stop do you?”

“I do not see the point. Everyone is so caught up in this war, that scandal, Gods be damned I will not sit around worrying about things that are out of my control. This, bringing about some humor when times are dark, is what I was made for.”

“Perhaps a story?” Princess Megan Rose said, grabbing their attention.

Princess Megan Rose lived for her stories. Whenever she disappeared, everyone knew that she could be found on the settee curled up with a thick book, completely lost in the story and oblivious to anything else happening.

“What shall you read today?” Lady Angelica asked, moving to sit beside Princess Megan Rose, hiking up the skirt of her dress and curling her legs beneath her.

Perhaps a good story couldn’t hurt, seeing as Mother Nature's raging downpour didn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. It wouldn’t be the worst idea to sit and listen to the Princess read aloud and carry them all far from here to an otherworldly place.

Lady Sandra hooked her arm through Purple’s and together they made their way over to where the others had gathered.

“I thought we could see what will happen to Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Last we left off was at the vital dance where they could no longer pretend disdain for one another,” Princess Megan Rose said, her voice filled with excitement. That excitement danced in her dark eyes as a smile took over her face at the thought of continuing her favorite story, which they all knew well.

“Oh yes, I remember,” Lady Sandra said.

Lady Lyn returned, cleared her throat, and entered the big room, amused at seeing everyone gathered around Princess Megan Rose.

“Another Lady Jane, tale?” Lady Lyn asked.

Princess Megan nodded.

“Like this raging storm, long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon,” Princess Purple quipped.

Lady Lyn laughed.

Music to Princess Purple’s ears. “If I can get you to laugh like that, then the rest of the realm shall be under my spell in no time at all.”

The women settled in as Princess Megan Rose found the correct page and began to read, pulling them deep into the story of a lady and her true love.

Princess Purple listened intently, plotting her next move to hoist upon the realm, days of laughter, nights of puns, and comical shenanigans would abound.

WC: 1016

Potion 8 -House Lannister - Kit Potion #8 to Purple Princess . You already have a great sense of humour, but a sip of this True Humour potion will ensure that all your jokes land! No more people not getting it, no more having to explain the joke which, as we all know, takes all the fun out of it - you will genuinely be the funniest person in Westeros. Your puns will be the punniest to ever pun. Tyrion Lannister himself will be in awe at your wit. If Westeros knew what memes are, you'd always find the very best ones.
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