Before I Wake

Before I wake

“It’s cold. Of course, how would I know? I would be better off beginning my tale a different way.

“I’m cold. Not frigid or uncaring, just demonic and damned. But I believe we are all demonic in some retrospect. Of course, we are all born damned.

“Let me tell you of me, all you long to discover and all you fear to ask. I am here to supply it all. I am Clyth, the vampire.”

::DARK SUMMONS::

“It was raining. It always rained there. Homeless, pitiful and wet, definitely not a good joining of elements. I prayed for the sun.

“The baby had died hours ago, yet the mother still cradled it in her arms, still spoke to it, still kissed it. In the horrid depths of my mind, I imagined eating it.

“I knew the others felt the same. All of us had the hungry glow in our eyes. I figured the mother would fight us. To me, that was only a plus. We could kill her too, feasting upon her corpse as well as the infants.

“I shut my eyes then cursed my soul to Hell. I was not a monster, no more so than the babe I so desperately hungered for. I was just desperate and starving. And I was wet. I hated being wet.

“He swooped down on us, killing so quickly that half of us were dead before I opened my eyes. I saw him smile at the woman, holding the small corpse to her bosom in a protective gesture.

“’How can I kill a woman who has experienced such sorrow this day?’ He asked no one, but I answered.

“’You killed her husband easily enough.’ I said, as I indicated the dead man at his feet. ‘And her son.’ I added, nodding to the prone form of the eight-year-old boy, face down in the rain. ‘She is not even aware that the infant is dead.’

“’So, it would be a mercy for her to die?’ He mused, turning his crimson eyes upon me.

“’A greater mercy than allowing her to live.’ I said and he fell upon her instantly.

“’You are the only one that remains. Will you ask for mercy?’ He seemed to be taunting me.

“’If I believed you to be merciful, I would ask for a swift and painless death.’ I said with a wry smile. ‘But I would not ask for life.’

“’Would not? Indeed. Why is that?’ He questioned as he moved closer.

“’I am miserable and wet, hungry and lost. Why would I beg for life when I am better off dead?’

“’Good philosophy.’ He said as he fell upon me and the cold wetness faded with the light.”

::CHANGES::

“The bed was soft, dry and warm. I would have believed myself dead if it weren’t for the pain and the burning in my veins. I groaned and rolled over. He stood beside the bed.

“’I believe that you are a rare find. I have been alone for so long and I never thought someone would linger with the homeless.’ His crimson eyes glowed as he bit into his wrist. ‘Drink before you die.’ He said as he pressed the bloody wrist to my lips.

“I tried to turn away but his other hand had stolen behind my head and cradled it gently so I was forced to do as he commanded.

“I was only remotely aware of death stealing my breath as I swallowed gulp after stagnant gulp of blood. My heart slowed and he allowed me to pull away as the pain racked me.

“As I cringed upon the bed, wave upon wave of pain touching me cruelly, I stared into his blood colored eyes. Most of all, when I recall that day, I recall his eyes.

“It ended so suddenly, the pain, that I was left in shock. What had happened? Why did my heart no longer beat? Why did my blood no longer flow?

“’You are dead. You did not ask for life so I have given you something better.’ He said.

“Have you?’ I asked as strength took hold of me. I felt powerful. ’What have you given me, sir, that is better than death yet feels remarkably like it?’

“He smiled then, cold and empty, eyes red and deep. ’Immortality.’

::ENDURING::

“So, I hunt, I feed, I am a vampire.

“Of course, you know that. Surely, my bite has made you fully aware. But, I don’t know why I haven’t killed you. Why do I pause to speak to my food?

“That day in the rain I touched the darkest part of my soul. You know what I speak of. We all have it, the part most shy away from, the evil in us all. I must have touched it.

“You looked so disgusted when I spoke of eating the baby. Have you ever known hunger so intense that it tears your insides apart with its claws? Have you ever felt Death sitting beside you, keeping you alive for spite, then stealing away the life of your neighbor? You curse Death, holler at it and it doesn’t respond. Why? Because Death knows you suffer greater agony alive.

“Don’t look at me as though you don’t understand the truth I speak of. It has been so hard for me to linger here, to remain dead yet alive, to remain weak yet strong and envying mortals. I shouldn’t envy dying people. Lay back and I shall tell you more of me.”

::DEFEAT::

“His name was Erick, that was all I knew him as, as he only knew me as Clyth. What is a last name to the undead, forever damned, cursed? Erick, a vampire that was ultimately cruel and gave me an unwanted glimpse into the darkness that is a vampire’s soul.

“I hunted at his side, taking great care to end lives that needed ending. I was seeking revenge on Death, the one being that had forced me to live as it had, homeless and desperate. So I killed all that my embrace touched upon and Erick cursed my name.

“He was upset because I had killed a beautiful young woman, much like yourself, for he had become enamored by her charms. Of course, I refused to allow him the pleasures of entrapment. No one should live the half-life, the existence between life and death, the horrors of mortality mixed with the bittersweet sampling of immortality.

“She was truly a rarity. In her arms I touched Heaven and honestly convinced myself that I did not deserve Hell. She loved me, you see, craved me, as Erick craved her. Even as she died in my embrace, a merciful embrace, she smiled at me, whispered my name and blessed me forever with her love and forgiveness.

“Erick left me to myself then, alone in my guilt and damnation, and chose a path opposite of mine. Even now, looking back, I know why he did not kill me. He was as cruel as Death, choosing to allow me to suffer alive rather than be redeemed in death.

“The war fell upon mortals and immortals alike, Death reigning for centuries. We battled mortals and kin alike, each one with a different motive. I can recall the day I nearly fell into Death’s open arms. Erick stood before me, ready, it seemed, to finish me off.

“’Do it.’ I said, baring my chest and my fangs as he approached. ‘Kill me, lord, set me free.’

“’Is that what you wish for, Clyth?’ He asked me and I nodded. ‘Ah, that’s right. You claimed you would not ask for life. That is true now as well, I see.’

“’Indeed. I am nothing but a shell of life since my soul went away.’ I said as Erick halted before me.

“’If I kill you, will you haunt me?’ Erick asked, his eyes sparking the red fire so familiar and his lips curling upward into a mocking smile.

“’No.’ I said and he laughed then. Even as he strode away, I saw the stake flying toward my bare chest. I shut my eyes, waiting, happily, patiently, for death.

“Erick caught it and snapped it in half. I heard the wood breaking and opened my eyes to the crimson ones of my maker. ‘Death is too good for us, Clyth.’

“The mortal that had thrown the stake died painfully by Erick’s skilled hands. That was the last I saw of Erick. That was the last I saw of Death.”

::BEFORE YOU WAKE::

“It is lonely, eternity. I always believed that I would meet another like her. Your taste bordered on the memory of hers. I am sorry.

“There is no need to cringe, my child, for I have decided to allow you to live. Would you like that?”

“Yes.”

“I thought as much. It is my curse, you see, my curse. Sleep, you are safe, no harm shall come to you. No longer.”

“Will you be gone when I wake?”

“Before, my child.”

“Before I wake? So, it will be as a dream?”

“Yes. So it will be as a dream. A horrid, horrid dream.”