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my blog... |
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It is hard to say what may transpire. Hind sight is always at least 20/20. Why worry about tomorrow? Today transfixes me and yesterday mesmerizes me. Why set up a blog? Because I like to talk. Or, as others may say, I like to rant. And rave.  Sadly, there is a very limited amount of people who are willing to sit and listen to me.  This can lead to some sad and frustrating conversations with...well, myself. So, for the sake of my sanity as well as everyone else's, I have decided to join the blogging fun and become a blogger myself! What will you find here? Insane ramblings most likely. Some may actually be amusing depending on your humor. I may blog about new things I've discovered (some may actually be new while others may only be new to me; so, bear with me there). Things that annoy, irk, upset, tickle, fascinate, etc. me and every thing in the world is (are?) subject to blogging. Disclaimer: Shouldn't everything pertaining to personal opinion have one? I really like to talk about things that upset me or that I don't understand (often the same topic ). Generally, these topics are controversial to say the least. If you have a problem with my viewpoints, that's fine. But don't yell at me for it. This is my blog and I am entitled to my own opinions! No one is forcing you to read so, just walk away. I do not tolerate yelling at me. I don't like it; don't do it! If you're afraid of being insulted or offended and can't tolerate being debated then just don't start anything. That said, I probably won't say anything to offend or insult; but, we must err on the side of caution! Okay, now I have nothing left to blog about!!  Well, feel free to check me out...uh, erm...I mean my blog and port. Catcha around!***** I am so proud of my merit badges and wanted to show them off!!! ![Merit Badge in Reviewing
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| So, oil has fallen to its lowest level in more than a year. Thus, we are back where we started a year ago. This past year has been an insane roller coaster ride. Now, oil is back where it was a year ago. Are gas prices back to where they were a year ago? I seem to remember gas going down below $3/gallon a year or so ago. Am I imagining things? Granted, gas is finally coming back down. I'm very glad that it's coming down. I just don't think it's quite where it should be. Of course, nothing new there. That's been the big story all year. "Oil goes up. Gas goes up. Oil goes down. Gas goes up." It seems like the only thing that hadn't really been affected by the roller coaster was gas prices. They just kept going up. Sure, they came down a little, occasionally. It would go up twenty cents, then down two cents. It seems almost totally disconnected with oil prices. Sure, when oil goes up, gas goes up immediately. But when oil goes down, the gas companies all say "We can't lower gas prices just yet. It takes time for the decrease in oil prices to affect gas prices." It takes time for lower prices to trickle down, but no time at all for an increase in price to come through.I'm also wondering how long it's going to take for their $700 billion plan to start to take effect. It would help sooner if they'd start using it! First, they need to do something about AIG. Has anyone heard anything final on that fiasco? The muckety-mucks should be severely fined for misappropriation of government funds. Something to the tune of, oh say, $400 million? Too much? Not enough? I wonder what their salaries are... Has anyone else been experiencing the weather roller coaster lately? Yesterday, we reached 85 degrees! It was hot. A week ago yesterday, we had frost. Does anyone else think that's just wrong? It's like a pendulum. We keep swinging from one side to another. I would like a little moderation. The trees are getting beautiful colors. I'm enjoying the warmer weather. I just don't want it to be 80 one day and have snow two days later. Is that so much to ask? |
| I have been attacked in a most foul and heinous manner. It's truly a dreadful and appalling story. The story begins on a cold and dreary day. The clouds were pressed together and would not allow the sun to shine through. It tried to rain; but the precipitation was barely a drizzle. Somewhere behind the steel mesh of clouds, the sun set. It truly became dark. I retired inside, welcoming the light and warmth of my home. I did not know what awaited me there. I can't say how the fiend got in. Some say that it was drawn in by the warmth of the heart. Granted, it was getting cold outside. But you do not let yourself in to other people's homes. I was minding my own business. Planning out my itinerary for tomorrow. The light was behind me. It came out of nowhere. At first, all I saw was a blur. It moved too fast for me to get a good look at it. At any rate, it did not belong in my home. I looked down and panic took over. Who knows what was said? The neighbors will say that I screamed. I don't really remember. I jumped and twirled around in some strange combination of ballet and judo. I flapped my shirt in an attempt to scare away the intruder. Through some odd happenstance, it worked. The perpetrator had relinquished its hold on me. I turned and looked down. Perhaps it was fright or the jerk of my motions. Whatever the case, it got its just deserts. The judge and jury and pronounced the verdict, and the sentence was swiftly carried out. The perp never had a chance. Once I was the chosen target, doom was the only fate. There laid the horrendous insect. No identification was made; instead, it was immediately disposed of. Bees, yellow jackets, wasps, hornets, whichever it was, let this be a lesson to you all. No good can come of you coming near me. **** This is now nestled within my port. "Invalid Item"  Tell me, do you like the red color better than basic black? |
| http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/weekinreview/05schwartz.html?no_interstitial This says everything I have wanted to say but didn't know how to say it. I think it is fantastic that an 82 year old is saying that McCain isn't a maverick. I'm wondering if that wasn't some sort of safe word or code for Palin in the VP debate. I mean, she sounded like a broken record. She had about three responses that she rotated. The biggest one: "He's a maverick." Or "We're a couple of mavericks." I want to know who introduced them to that word. I don't know what dictionary they are using; but they are in no way, shape or form mavericks. I mean come ON. They are Republicans. The last thing in the world they are is mavericks. Somebody needs to buy them a dictionary. Siding with Bush 90% of the time, McCain is a die-hard republican and, consequently, not a maverick. (Note: one definition of a maverick is a person who refuses to conform to a particular party or group.) I rest my case. McCain is not a maverick. Just so you know, the repetition of 'maverick' is a play on its use by Palin. It's semi-serious, quasi-funny. |
| To start with, I would like to share a little "verbatim" from Time Magazine. Sean Greenwood, a Ben & Jerry's spokesman, said, "We believe a mother's milk is best used for her child." This was his response to PETA's suggestion that the company use breast milk instead of cow's milk in its ice cream. This was in the October 2nd issue of time. No joke. Can you imagine that campaign? (Forget for a minute exactly how that all would come about.) "NEW! Ben & Jerry's now made with all natural breast milk! Just like Mom used to make!" That last part just came out without my consent! I wonder who would buy that?I mean come on people! Now that we've got that out in the air. How, exactly, are the imagining that Ben & Jerry's would come about that ingredient change? I'll let you do the imagining on your own... Onto another subject. Palin. I just watched a video clip of SNL's version of the Biden/Palin VP debate. (I know; I'm so behind!) Funny stuff. SNL writers have it so easy right now! Anyway, what I liked especially was the gay benefits bit. Biden supports full same as hetero coverage, but not marriage. (It's exactly the same (supposedly) but we can't call it the same thing. Freaks.) Palin, on the other hand, is against gay benefits because of what that might lead to. Like gay marriage. She believes that marriage should be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers (like her daughter?). I keep saying the "sanctity" of marriage is the prompt immediacy and probability of an ensuing divorce. They're afraid that if they legalize gay marriage, the divorce rates will go down. Okay, that's all for now. I hope you got a little laugh out of this or, at the very least, a little smile! |
| I had heard a little bit about it and saw a little clip of the earlier Palin/Couric interview. You know the one. Tina Fey took the transcript and reenacted the interview for SNL. You know, it's sad when comedians can do a comedy skit straight from real life like that. Made her (Fey) job easier though, didn't it? It's one of those things that you think, "Maybe it's too easy." The really sad thing about it is this: This woman that we're making fun of because she sounds... well it's the way she answers questions and doesn't seem to know what she's talking about, this woman wants the second highest position in the nation. John McCain is not a young man. If he were to become president, and die in office or be impeached or resign, Palin would become President of the US. Do we really want her to be President? Now, that's a scary thought! http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/30/eveningnews/main4490788.shtml If you're either looking for a laugh or to cry a little bit (depending on your take), have a little look-see at the transcript from her latest interview with Couric. Can you believe that Palin has accused the media of censoring her? I mean, come ON. She's the one (or the campaign-who knows? Maybe McCain doesn't want her to do interviews) who isn't taking interviews. She (or the campaign, or McCain) is censoring herself. Get real people! Furthermore, with these interviews that she has done, the people are becoming more confident that she can't do the job. The more people get to know her, the more they like her, and the less faith they have in her ability to be vice-president. It's a funny world, isn't it? |
I see things sometimes; and I can't figure out what is actually real and what is not. Night and day, visions haunt me. No matter what, they won't let me be. Sometimes I wonder, if there's something wrong. I'm so different there's no where I belong. No one can understand. They aren't me; they don't know these things I see. Whether real or not remains a mystery. How can I determine without a history? It's unfamiliar; as it's unique, the diagnosis must be bleak. They say I'm not right; These things aren't there. But how can they know? They don't really care. Sometimes I see things, things I can't describe. But I don't worry there's nothing to prescribe. These things I see are not an ailment. They are, instead, lifelong accompaniment. Meant to be enjoyed, these gifts from above. These things I see are none other but love. Why reach for pen and paper when you're on WDC? So I scratched this out as it came to me (with a little help from rhymezone.com) I feel a little better now that it's out of my head. Still... I feel like I'm missing something. Like I've just scratched the surface... Anyway. There it is. Take it as you will. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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| For those of you who haven't heard yet, two more big investment banks are saying "Good-bye." Lehman Brothers is filing for bankruptcy, and Merrill Lynch has been purchased by Bank of America (otherwise it too would have been filing for bankruptcy). Now, everyone is running in terror! There are runs on banks. Economists are saying we're in the worst recession since the Great Depression. Thus, the panic RISES. The FDIC will save most of us though, right? I mean, as long as your bank is FDIC insured (up to $100,000 per individual account) your money is safe. Well... apparently not. According to what I heard, the FDIC only has $50 billion dollars available to it. It insures $1 TRILLION.  So, obviously, we have a little bit of a deficit here. It appears that if we have a really big problem, the FDIC may not be able to do what it's intended to do.So, what are we to do? A lot of people are online now (bills, banks (think e*trade). If I hide my money under my mattress (like everybody's grandma apparently used to), how am I supposed to pay my bills? Good grief, I may have to invest in STAMPS! Luckily, your bills come with envelopes. However, to get the envelopes I'd have to unsign up for paperless statements. (I enrolled in paperless statements to save a tree or two.) But, we're still left with a problem. I can't send cash in an envelope through the mail. (For those of you who do, you really shouldn't. It's just not a good idea.) So, we're back to square one. Thus, I won't be making a run on my bank. But, if you want to make a run on yours, I say, "By all means DO!" If everyone else takes their money out and we get the amount down to $50 billion, the FDIC can pay me when everything goes down the toilet. Course, then what will I do with the money? I guess I'll have to either shove it under the mattress like everybody else or find a new bank. Oh well, I'll worry about that when (IF) the time comes. http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/article/56994/Top-Economist-Americans-Shoul... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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| I'll admit, I have been a little wishy-washy between McCain and Obama. I wasn't sure about Obama's choice in a running mate. Not that I wanted Clinton or anything like that. I just found the contrast a trifle odd. I don't really know that much about Biden. I didn't know that much about Palin either. But that choice makes sense to me. It levels the playing field a little. It makes the tickets more even. Or, so I thought. Now, I'm not so sure. Honestly, now I hope that McCain doesn't stand a chance. I don't think this country can stand another Bush term. That's exactly what McCain is going to be, I think. Another Bush. Then, there's Palin. The more I find out about her, the less I like her. The politicians in Alaska are wack. Bridges to nowhere, aerial hunting, sleeping with "Big Oil," what is with them? The whole thing is making me very nervous. I just don't like what I'm seeing. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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| Well... all in all it was a really nice day! I had some pleasant surprises. At home as well as at my second home... here at WDC. tinytalegirl gave me this beautiful merit badge ![Merit Badge in Birthday
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Happy Birthday!!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Birthday-210.gif) for my birthday. Wasn't that nice?Instead of birthday cake, I got key lime pie. Yum. (Plus, no clean up!! Yay!) My mom bought it for me along with season one of The Smurfs. I watched a couple of episodes tonight with her. I think she probably remembered it more than I do!! A few others here wished me Happy Birthday as well. My WDC birthday is on Saturday. WDC's birthday is coming up too! Isn't it something? Anyway, help yourself to a piece of pie (or cake and ice cream if you prefer) and join in on the celebration! |
| tomorrow! I don't know whether to laugh or cry!! Sometimes, I hate my birthday. I feel so... overlooked sometimes. That and it's a milestone of one more year that I have lost. The years are starting to pile up fast!! Also, my birthday means it's the end of summer. Growing up, I always started school right after my birthday. Which kinda sucked because all my friends missed my birthday. Yeah, I had sucky friends. School could start the day after my birthday so they couldn't wish me happy birthday 'cuz my birthday was the day before. Whatever. My two older half-sisters don't even know when my birthday is. The crazy thing is that my birthday is the day before the eldest's anniversary. That was a sucky day. It was my eleventh birthday the day prior. So, my sister is getting married and everybody forgets the little eleven year old girl. The other sister can't even remember how we're related half the time.  Anyway.Then, today I got attacked by a set of stairs. I don't know what happened. I was walking down the stairs. The next thing I know is my feet are on one step while my knees are on the next step down. My top half went backwards so my head was above my feet. Luckily. I hate landing face down. The only thing more embarrassing than landing on your face is landing on your face falling up the stairs. Anyway, it was a rather odd situation. I scraped my left knee a trifle. My ankles are a little bruised too. Rather unscathed really. Considering the stairs in question are cement. Cement stairs are very unforgiving. It's much better to fall on carpet. At least I would imagine it is. I always seem to fall on hard surfaces. Cement, concrete, tile... Usually outside. Sticks, holes in the pavement, cracks in the sidewalk. Stuff like that. I'm kinda clumsy. Just a little. However, I hadn't fallen down in more than a year. Yeah. I keep track. No, really, I don't fall down that often. Anyway. One thing that bums me out about my birthday is that if I want a birthday cake, I have to bake it. I'm like the only one in my family who cooks or bakes. I always do the cakes for the special occasions. Or, at least, I used to. I don't so much anymore. I kinda got tired of it. I started when I was like 14. Now I'm... whatever. Anyway, it takes the whole fun out of it when you have to bake your own birthday cake. |
| Okay, so it's not my birthday just yet. But it's close!!! Too close.... Anyway. Big Fish Games is running a MASSIVE FANTASTICAL UBER "sale" until the 15th. Okay, so only one game is on sale. It's a great game. The game is Azada. AND, it's on sale for... wait for it... $0.99!!! Yes! That's right 99 CENTS!! One penny less than one dollar. Whoo! But you need to act now because the special ends on the 15th. Really though. I had a trial of this game and loved it. So, I couldn't possibly pass up owning the full version for one dollar. Thus, I bought it for me for my birthday! *throws confetti* |
| Numero uno: I am beyond frustrated with Keller University. Their admissions chick is... well.. let's not go there. I'm already frustrated and, for once, I don't feel like going into it right now. Down with Keller!!!! Numero dos: I found an excellent article courtesy of Yahoo!, courtesy of the Los Angeles Times. (Don't you just LOVE the Internet?) http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-stein8-2008aug08,0,2887025.column One thing I found particularly interesting was this statement. "According to the federal Energy Information Administration, last year, the U.S. bought oil from 90 countries and exported oil to 73." Don't you find that interesting? They talk about independence from foreign oil. Yet, we export oil. It's all economics and political whatever. We don't use or buy American oil (or we do very little). Think about it. If I'm good at knitting sweaters and you're good at making moccasins... But, that doesn't really make sense. I mean I don't actually knit therefore I certainly can't be good at knitting sweaters. Anyway, here's the point. Our oil rigs are not owned by the United States' Government, aka Uncle Sam. Therefore, Uncle Sam doesn't own the oil coming out of the ground. So, regardless of where it comes from, Uncle Sam has to BUY the oil. This is true of Exxon, BP, anybody except the Clampetts. If you own the oil, you sell it. AND, you sell it for the highest amount you can get. Regardless of who the buyer is. So, really, it doesn't matter where we get the oil from. Really, we should get it from wherever it is cheapest. Buy low and sell high!! That's all. |
| I just wanted to point out this article to you... http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&refer=columnist_berry&sid=air._O... It's a great article. (Not to mention that someone with clout actually agrees with me!) |
| Post 112 aka "Bush lifts executive ban on offshore drilling" I was wondering and wondering. I mean, I know better. This whole offshore drilling thing lowering the price of gas. That whole thing. I know it's a ploy of some sort. I know it won't actually help. At all. But, I learned something today. Investors were bailing out. They were selling their energy stocks like they're no tomorrow. This helped to lower the price of crude (a part of the whole). As you may know, crude as been "plummeting" lately. It's taken dives as much as $10 a barrel in one day. (That's about a 7% decrease.) Well, I was talking with my dad today. He started the conversation out with "Rich said..." Rich is a guy he works with or an acquaintance or something. Well, the story goes that Rich told my dad that the price of gas had dropped (basically) because on Monday Bush had said in a speech that he was lifting the ban on drilling. Yes, Bush did lift the executive ban on off-shore drilling. No, that would not have had an impact. It was a coincident. However, I kinda see a bit of the ploy here. I don't know Rich. I don't know how much education he has or what he knows about the world. I do know that (according to my dad) he thinks that the price of gas dropped because Bush lifted the ban on offshore drilling. Obviously, there are some people who are as naive/blind/deluded/whatever as Bush is. I mean, to think that Bush says "I'm lifting the ban!" and presto-chango: poof! gas comes down. It isn't logical. There's so much that goes on behind the scenes. You don't just have a speech and the price of gasoline goes down. Please note that we are talking about gasoline NOT crude oil. I'm talking about what you pay at the pump. I find it a little silly and very, very, very sad. People should be more educated about the world we live in and how it works. |
| I haven't talked/raved about this in awhile. (Did I blog about this awhile back? I don't even remember.) I haven't heard about it in awhile. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20214360,00.html This REALLY bugs me. I'll tell you why. Everyone went on and on and ON. OMG!! It's a pregnant MAN. It's the first pregnant MAN!! Blah, blah, blah... Let's get one thing straight. "He" is NOT a MAN!!! "He" wants to be a man. But, he's not. They call him transgender. All that means is that "he" is a woman who wants to be considered a man. "He" still has indoor plumbing. Thus, technically, he's still a woman. He looks like a man on top. But, on the bottom, he's all woman. You can call "him" a man, but he's still a woman. Sure, you can't tell looking at him. But that doesn't change anything. "He" is a WOMAN. Now, if you ask me, a pregnant woman is nothing to talk about. What's the big deal? I just don't understand. I just don't get it. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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| I received a postcard in the mail awhile back from Keller University. They were offering some book or something. So, I sent the reply-thingy back. Now, they keep e-mailing me!!! They want me to go to grad school! Their grad school of course. The thing is... I kinda want to go to grad school. It took me forever to get my Bachelor's degree. I didn't really see the point; I didn't want to do it; nothing really interested me. But now I have my degree. I'm almost proud of it. I still have mixed feelings and reservations. Now, I've been in school so LONG, I kinda hate to give it up. It was a constant. No matter what else was going on, I had school. Now I don't. It feels weird not being in school. Plus, it seems like all the jobs I'm looking at want you to have a Masters. Still, I don't know if I can afford to go to grad school. Their program is accredited and online. So, I can go to school from home. Which is nice. I took one of my marketing classes online. With the teacher I had, there wasn't much of a difference between in class and online. But, I'm NOT disciplined. Not at all. You know grad school is going to be expensive. I just don't know!!!  I'm so confused. |
| Well, I've been hacking and trimming and rearranging like mad! I've given my port a face lift. Now instead of "My Portfolio," it's "My Garden." I'm happy with the changes. Plus, when you enter "The Forsaken Garden" you'll find directions!!!! There's a lovely guide that will welcome you to the garden and give you suggestions about where do go on your tour.Isn't it fantastic? I LIKE it!!!!! |
| http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080714/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush Do you believe it? It's beyond ridiculous. There are no words to describe what I'm thinking and feeling. I can't decide whether he's showing his true colors (with the oil running through his veins) or it's some sort of strategic tactic. Like, maybe he thinks we're all really stupid and won't know what's going on. Like, we'll think that "Oh! Yes! Let's harmlessly drill our shores without spilling one drop and endangering nature and her creatures and tomorrow the price of gas at the pump will be back down to $2 a gallon!!" And then we'd all jump up and down, squealing for joy, chanting "Bush, Bush, Bush!" I think I just made myself sick.  Are we supposed to think that he and republicans and doing something about oil so we won't vote for democrats in the coming election? Is he trying to get home-town oil booming again since he's leaving the White House soon? He'll be looking for a new job soon... What are the motives? It's really bugging me. Any of them fit. I'll tell you one thing. It's not for us. This isn't a red, white, and blue flag waving, let's help the American people, I'm a patriot and I'm doing this for you sort of thing to do. First, it will NOT help gas prices. Period. It will take years of exploration to find and drill the oil. Second, if we find oil, do you think he's going to put it into mainstream America to sell at the pumps? Doubtful. We're drilling and pumping oil right here in America. Right now. It's going into our reserves. Our reserves for what? Who knows. Clinton tapped into them in the 1990's to help with gas prices. Bush refused. Gasoline was less than $1 a gallon (at the pump). Today, gasoline is over $4 a gallon. It's four times as much but we can't use our own oil. Yes, for those of you out there who know it, the US House and Senate did suspend putting oil into the reserves. No, it wasn't Bush; it was the Congress. Poor, grid-locked, can't do anything Senate. Not Bush. (What you may be thinking about is in April 2006, Bush announced a temporary halt to deposits. Just temporary.) See, Bush wants to expand our reserves. He wants to put it all away. Save it for a rainy day, so to speak. Third, is it worth $0.03 a gallon for all the devastation that off-shore drilling will cause? Yes, that's will not may. We will have oil spills. We will have problems. Animals will lose habitat. What are we trying to prove? Yes, we have oil. Yes, there's more we haven't discovered. But, we don't use our own oil. OH, btw, we import more oil from Canada than we do the Middle East. I'll look up those figures later... Okay, maybe not combined. I mean, the Middle East combine... It's a lot of countries. At any rate, we import about 16% of our oil from Canada (their #1). Kuwait (does anyone remember that whole deal?) is on the bottom of the list. (Take a good look at Iraq as well.) 2007 imports to the U.S. in millions of barrels per day CANADA 1.864 SAUDI ARABIA 1.453 MEXICO 1.410 VENEZUELA 1.150 NIGERIA 1.082 ANGOLA .496 IRAQ .485 ALGERIA .443 ECUADOR .198 KUWAIT .176 http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1818198,00.html We import FOUR times as much oil from Canada than we do from Iraq. So... Why haven't we gone to war with Canada yet? A few sources and good articles for you to check out... http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080714/pl_nm/usa_energy_dc http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_Petroleum_Reserve http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1815884,00.html Lynaia ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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| "Up, down touch the ground, puts me in the mood..." Ah, Winnie the Pooh. How 'bout this one? "Nobody wants me, nobody loves, goin' to the garden to eat worms. Big, fat, shiny ones; little teeny tiny ones, how how they wiggle and squirm." *giggle*That one always makes me laugh. *sigh* Roller coaster ride... Is there no one out there who will love me???!!! Who cares? I don't. Wait, no, I do. *shrug* I think that I'm tired. I'm feeling... very... rambly. Hey, look, I made a new word. "Rambly." It means that I feel like going on and on and on and but you knew that already.*sigh**shrug* Oh, well. |
| So, I go to check my e-mail before calling it a night. Lo and behold, I see something that makes my heart stop. The whole world stopped for a second and I don't know what to feel. I recognized the name instantly though it was different from the last time I had seen it. It was an old friend from high school. We fell out of touch ages ago. I e-mailed a few times but she was too busy for me or whatever. She called me about two and a half years ago. It was New Year's Day and she had just gotten engaged to her long-time boyfriend. She called to extort my congratulations. She also informed me she was making the telephone rounds. Thus, our conversation lasted less than five minutes. I hadn't heard from her since. Then, today, I see this e-mail. The sender's name was her first name with her fiancé's last name. They got married. I mean, I knew it would happen eventually. But, they been going out for 8 years at the time. I figured it would be a long engagement. Now, she's married. She told me when she got engaged. She couldn't even send a little e-mail or note or anything to say "Just to let you know, I got married!" Nothing. Now, she says, "Haven't heard hide nor hair from you in ages." I wasn't the one to stop communicating. I wasn't the one who dropped the friendship. She totally deserted me just like everyone else. I'm confused. I don't know whether to just delete the e-mail or to respond. I feel so much hurt inside that I'm afraid to respond. Then again, if I never here from her again... Well, I guess that would lay on me. Do I care? I don't know. I would say, apparently. I mean, I care enough to be hurt. But, do I really need to go through all that again? She's done this before. She moved away our freshman year of high school. She would keep in contact for awhile then drop off the face of the Earth. I would e-mail. She wouldn't reply. I would finally "get the hint" and stop. Then, she'd show up and say "Where you been?" Where have I been? "Where have I been!?" I would be incensed. I'd reply and we'd go back and forth for awhile. Then, the whole cycle repeats itself. Do I really want to go through all that again? I don't know. It's kinda nice that she's remembered me after all this time. Still, she's married. I'm SO hurt that she never TOLD me! I can't describe how my heart hurts. She always signed her letters "Love," or "L.Y.L.A.S." How can she think of me like a sister when she can't even said a one line e-mail to tell me she was getting married or had gotten married (right after the wedding). And, I know she had a wedding. She'd been planning it for years. I went with her once to look at dresses. We even talked about bridesmaid dresses. She had told me that "Of course, I'll want you to be one of my bridesmaids. You're my oldest friend after all." I saw her through so much crap. I was alway there for her even though she was never there for me. We really were like sisters when we were younger. We'd tell each other anything and everything. We even fought like sisters do. We were truly honest with each other. She deserted me and it hurt. I happily accepted her back as a sister and a friend. She deserted me again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again. Fool me thrice, shame on me. I don't want to be fooled again. I don't want to be deserted again. I'm tired of being forsaken. I just want to be loved. Doesn't everyone? I hate to just delete that e-mail. Still, I don't think I can bring myself to answer it. It just hurts too much. ~Forsaken ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Check out
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