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 |  Just a blog containing my daily activities, interests, rants, etc. Enjoy. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Neko wishes everyone a wonderful summer! I paint my face with blackend lines, carving my soul into darkness. I rip my flesh into tiny pieces, as I scream - so wreckless. I can't stop going on this path, the path I chose long ago. I can't keep from making them, those same mistakes, over again. But I can try to keep going, to live, to love, to laugh. To cry, to scream, to swear... as long as I go on, even if I'm "half". Half alive, half dead, trying to live, will I ever be whole, who knows? Started: 9th of May, 2007 Agenda: I will tell of past experiences, current experiences, and future experiences I wish to have. This will be a way for me to relieve some stress and to try and better my writing style. Credits: Thanks for checking my blog out, and if you read it, I hope it isn't too boring~!  P.S. I'm going to try *spiffing up* my blog later on this month or next month, depending on how much time I have. 
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Oh boy, I had fun changing all my classes around today.  Here's my schedule now... woohoo: Monday: Art History (9:30 - 10:30 AM) Tuesday: Biology (10:30 - 12:00 AM/PM), Education Curriculum (1:30 - 3:00 PM), Art (6:00 - 9:00 PM) Wednesday: Art History (9:30 - 10:30 AM), Psychology (6:00 - 9:00 PM) Thursday: Biology (10:30 - 12:00 AM/PM), Education Curriculum (1:30 - 3:00 PM), Art (6:00 - 9:00 PM) Friday: Art History (9:30 - 10:30 AM) Isn't it lovely?  I ended up dropping English (Folklore and Short Story writing) because I'm going to take them next semester instead (probably) with HOPEFULLY different teachers. I just did not like the one's I scheduled for, and it's too late to try to get into another section because they're so crowded. The great thing about the Art History is that on Monday/Wednesday it's online.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Dark Poetry Contest: "Invalid Item"  .** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  Support "Invalid Item" and "Invalid Item" . Need a sig? "Invalid Item" /"Invalid Item" ! Check out "The Sword of the Goddesses Chosen" ! I ♥ mARi☠StressedAtWork  and StaiNed-House Targaryen !Member of: "Invalid Item" "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" "SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWERS GROUP" "a very Wodehouse challenge" "The WDC Angel Army" "Invalid Item" |
| Okay, so I'm super duper bored right now. I would LOVE to write something... well, anything... but I just can't seem to sit still long enough to do so. I just feel like anything I'd attempt to write would be utter crap. And then, I think... let's write a poem! Oh Gawd, I just can't tell you how many poems I have in my port. It's terrible. The reason I write so much poetry is because I don't have the patience nor confidence to write a short story or continue on my current novels. I just can't seem to get out of this hitch in my writing. What the heck should I do? Any advice out there? Maybe if I get into the Short Story writing class at LSU, I'll be able to concentrate long enough to write something... since it's for a grade. |
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Finally made a blog banner... wooohooooooooo. Lol. Hopefully everyone likes it. Anyhow, other than that... I've entered a few contests, bought some tickets, made some bids annnndddd.... I'm getting ready to see my boyfriend again! I know I've already been to see him once this summer, but we decided I'd go up to Wisconsin again before school begins. I'd like to have the chance to spend some more time with him before my schedule becomes hectic. I've been getting some grief about it from my parents though... I don't think they like him much.  |
| As the title says... I feel like I can't write crap. I stare at the blank screen, scribble some words... stare at it again, and sigh. What the hell is this crap I'm spewing out? Urgh. Well, if anyone reads my bad poetry I've put up lately, you'll know I don't like it much either. I guess. |
I've reopened my custom sig shop, so if anyone's interested - please feel free to make a request.  I've been feeling "creative" lately, so I'd love to give some requests a go.Hugs and love to all (as I'm feeling better, but bored!), -Neko |
| I'm doing alright - finally got out of the outpatient program. I think my social anxiety and my depression has drastically changed. It's a lot easier for me to talk to others by myself, and I'm not having severe mood swings as much as before. Other than that, I've been wondering if I should renew my premium membership... I love it on here, but I just haven't had the time to keep up with things lately. What do you guys think? In other news, I'll be taking a trip to Wisconsin this Saturday (extending to June 19th!). I'll be staying with my boyfriend, Jamie. I've missed him oodles since I last saw him, so I'm really excited! We've also been playing a new MMO game. It's unique, easy to get into, and lots of fun. If anyone's interested in the game, here's a link: https://signup.leagueoflegends.com?ref=4bf75b5f4ed41 If you do play it, please let me know. I'm always willing to help out and it would be cool to have some more people to play with. (Did I mention it's free? ). Jamie is awesome at the game, so he and I usually play together (of course). My username on the game is Sentaku, so make sure to add me if you play.Hugs and love to all, -Neko |
| I've been getting treatment for about three weeks now, and everything is going well. I'm still having my ups and downs, but so far so good. My psychiatrist has prescribed a new medication, Lamictal. It's for bipolar/depression/seizures. I'm not totally sure that it is working; however, the dosage is not at it's max yet (which is 100mg. Currently I'm on 50mg). We'll see when I get there, I guess. How I'm Feeling Today: Good!  I'm in a happy/irritated mood. For some reason, it's insanely easy for me to get mad and start biting people's heads off, but I'm still in a "good" mood. (Which is wonderful considering I only got 3 hours of sleep last night!)On a side note, I've been downgraded from OP to IOP. I only have to attend therapy from 9:00-11:00am, rather than 9:00-1:30am. It's a sign that I'm getting better (at least to them ). Sometimes I'm not sure if that is really the case. If I do have bipolar, wouldn't it be normal to have the ups with the downs, as I have been experiencing? I read a book on Bipolar just recently, trying to answer some of my many questions. But for some reason, I'm still having trouble understanding. And how will they diagnose me anyway if I'm on medication?  Hugs and love to everyone who has been there for me! (Specially my boyfriend, Jamie, and my best friend Mari).  |
| Talked to therapist; We've decided it would be best, for now, if I entered into a partial in-hospital program. That way I can come back home at night and during the weekends. It's a great alternative to pure in-hospital, since I'll be with more people who are like me, rather than those who have dementia and/or more serious issues. How I'm Feeling Today: Somewhat depressed. Only got 2 hours of sleep last night, but that's not that bad considering I've been having major insomnia. My therapist says it might be due to mania.What I'm Doing Today: Going to Covington! I'm planning on spending some time in the great outdoors. My mom's cat (over there) just had kittens, and I wanted to check on them again before I have to enter into the program.Thanks for all the support, everyone... I really do appreciate it. An extra HUGE thank you to Mari. I'm going to try my best and hold on. |
| To all my friends, customers, acquaintances... I'm sorry. I have been absent for a long time and I'm sure many of you were wondering what had happened to me. My wonderful Angel Buddy and best friend, mARi☠StressedAtWork , has done her best to inform you all and support me. But sadly, I did not keep in contact with her as I should have.Things have been tough for me... but mentally, not physically. Time is so warped for me now, I do not even know what day it was; however, a few weeks ago I attempted suicide. I've had depression issues for quite a while and it finally got to a point where I couldn't take it. I'll spare you all the details, so to make it short... I came very close to death, but was brought back to life by some nasty charcoal. I was then sent to a psychiatric hospital. Even though I felt better, my experience there wasn't one I'd like to remember. Once I was let out and allowed to go home, I was fine for a few days. I kept up my exercising, eating right, and sleeping schedule. But as a week passed, my mood began to dip once again.... to the point where I am now. I'm considering entering the hospital once again, though hopefully it won't get that point. Tomorrow, I will be asking my doctor to prescribe me a temporary mood stabilizer. The reason? I suspect I have bipolar disorder. Because of my mental problems at the moment (and my past problems), I have been unable to come on WDC as I used to. It became too much. I will try to come back to this wonderful community once I think I'm ready... but for now, sig making, writing, etc.... all of it will cease. Instead, I might come on every now and then just to blog about how I'm feeling or to give you guys updates (if you care ). To my customers, I will return your GPs once I am able to... hopefully soon, if all goes well. To my friends & acquaintances, please pray for me. I need all the help I can get. Much love and hugs to you all, -Neko |
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