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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let Scarlett   know that a Blogger sent ya!Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Okay, let's rejoin this journey simply. In my last entry, I promised that if/when dates were known, I would tell you about them. We have dates--conditionally. I again must remind those following along or sharing this journey that there is someone who knows the answer to any question you might pose to any entry in this blog, should I not be able to answer them for you due to incapacity. She goes by the username Budroesgirl and the reason for her screen name is to remind folks that she speaks for me when I cannot. Her name really is Sara, and she is probably the nicest humanoid you will ever deal with. Our agreement is "Honesty in all things, no matter what!" She knows what I prefer to share, and what I do not. If not, she will say so. If it is about my writing here, there is nothing I am unwilling to share. She knows, and agrees with this. She also agrees that her purpose is to fill in when I cannot. When I can, she refers to me. Not only is this a voluntary role for Sara, but a legal one as well. Please treat her gently. Don't be concerned about what I might say or do, that's easy. But if she gets riled, well....Today, the surgeon's schedulers called with a surgery date for the Thyroidectomy. Interestingly enough, it is for Tuesday, December 29th, 2015. That will, naturally, make my birthday wish rather singular: I want to be home on my birthday. Spending your birthday without internet access, or in a hospital bed are two of the worst ways I know of how to spend one's birthday. I spent enough of them away from home as it is. There is no need to extend that particular record. The condition is that my cardiologist, primary physician, and a host of other folk must give me clearance to undergo the surgery in the first place. These folks, to be fair, measure their interest in my health against necessity, and this is one reason it has taken these years to get to this point. Usually, only one of two outcomes is reasonable. Either such a procedure will extend my quality of life, or not having such a procedure will lessen my quality of life. It's this second one that is of most concern to me, while the first is their first concern. Except for the surgeon. His concern is the second issue, as he must insure a completely successful outcome with no errors or unanticipated consequences. I must tell you that this Surgeon is a physician. We have spoken of potential negative outcomes, and he is aware of my wishes in this regard. Among them are that I must keep my voice, and the ability to use my facial muscles. For you who are medically inclined, the Thyroid has more or less fully involved the Laryngeal nerve, which controls the voice box. Even touching it with a surgical instrument can either temporarily, or permanently damage that nerve to make it useless. Bad outcome. That's the concern for this first surgery. (And, he must remove it all, of course.) That's a bit of a problem. Although not common, there is the reality that my Thyroid has grown very, very large. Not only is it compressing my windpipe and swallowing tube, but it has grown into my chest, under my ribs. He may decide, during surgery, that he can only fully extricate my Thyroid by taking it out via my chest. He's in Brentwood, Tennessee folks. This means that he has very definitely been described as the "Surgeon TO Country Music" and that is a well-earned moniker. He also is a known commodity within the Gospel Music realm, as well; several of his recommendations to me have come from there, as well. His rep is solid. Mine as patient is, too. Oh, well. Ya wins some.... The condition will be met, or not met on December 22nd, when I visit the Cardiologist. By that point, several others will have weighed in. His report will go to my Primary Care Physician. I will then visit with my PCP sometime prior to the 29th for his final evaluation and recommendation. The final decision will be the Surgeon's and mine. To date, the decision has been to wait. Now, that's not really a good outcome. This would be the first surgery. Right now, it is the most important one for the reasons I've stated above. It's very difficult to eat, and not really easy to breathe. This journey began with me at about 243 pounds. Today, I'm almost down to 150 pounds. It's a hell of a diet, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. On the one hand, I feel completely awesome. On the other, not so much. A lot of meds, many of which affect my stamina and mental state. I'd love to trade some of them in for one dose of one med (SynThroid) a day. I would also very much like to keep talking, and perhaps even singing. This could be one way to shut me up. I think I'm bigger than that. It's of a passing interest to me that I have not expounded my concerns about these upcoming moments before, in any way. It's taken me a good while to write these words because I want them to be accurate, fair, honest and true. I think they are, but they give rise to a question I was recently asked about this very journal. The question was: "Why did you call it 'My Journey Through (and beyond) The Valley'?" One of the realities of writing this blog has been a rather interesting (to me, as it turns out) observation I made while reviewing every entry in it. I know what I wanted to call it. I know why I did not call it that. I think maybe I should have. I'm not going to change the title at this late date, but I am going to write an essay about it. Yes, I do need to do that for myself. Perhaps others will gain something from reading it, but I need to write it for me. Doesn't that always make the best writing? There's another reason, too. I have ended most every entry here the same way: "In His Care". It is(not) kinda strange, but I am currently thinking that would have been much more obvious with my choice of the original title to this effort than the one I chose to use. Who knows? Perhaps after I am no longer editor, the title will change. Or not. Yep, I definitely have to write that essay. I'll let you know how to read it, should you wish to, when it's done. The original title may be more obvious, or perhaps even more appropriate, but it wouldn't change a word of what I have written to date. In October, 2006, I was given no more than 18 months to live. Looking at my watch, I see that was a bit too conservative. But, in my heart, it was just an uninformed guess. I still don't know why, exactly, but it's obvious to me that Dad had entirely different plans for my life. And, as I've said many, many times, He never said it would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it, In His Care, Budroe Budroe |
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