What was enjoyable and exceptional:
This poem is a beautiful poem!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
It reminds me of a painter trying to paint someone's portrait and capturing just the right look! Really it's so beautiful to think of painting some's soul and the title is fantastic!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
This whole stanza kind of throws the flow off.
To paint someone's soul
One have to see what the eyes can not
With nuances which doesn't exist
Create the portrait of soul
( Maybe the second line should have the word"has" instead of "have"?
Encouragement:
The style of writing the way you have is is beautiful and with a little tweaking this poem would be a five!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
A light airy feeling that I had when I was younger! Thanks for the pleasant memory!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
The flow seems to be a little off. Maybe if you would not have so many words together. Sometimes the less said the better.
Encouragement:
Your skill at writing is awesome especially how you describe things! Keep up the writing!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The heartfelt emotion in this piece amazes me. You have put all the heartache and pleas that anyone with disabilities probably feels in this poem. I can only applaude you for this piece of art!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
The agony that people with disabilities go through is terrifying and hurts all those around them.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I see no room for improvements except I would like to see a story on this.
Encouragement:
Keep writing and others may wake up and have patience with us that are disabled. Thank-you for speaking out!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
From the first I liked this story and how you worded it. We have all been down at rock bottom and had to climb out. At least they kept looking forward to things getting better and leaned on each other through it all.
Plot Thoughts
The plot was good where they had to cash in whatever they could find to come out ahead.
Errors
Your spelling needs some work on it but thats about all except a little punctuation. With that corrected I would have gave you a five it would be that good. It held my interest certainly!
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was how they went aboutgetting extra money to come up with cash.
Suggestions
Like I said above work on the spelling and punctuation.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
Mainly I stopped in to check out your views on what to do in this economy. It was very informative and I enjoyed reading your thoughts and what you had been through.
Plot Thoughts
Your subject was great and matched the times we are going through.
Errors; Below I think The word "know" should be "no".
is know way pleasant or fulfilling.
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was that you had been there done that.
Suggestions
Just remember to use spell check in your writings.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
Hello! My name is Leila and I am reviewing for the
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. I am the Editor of the monthly newsletter Affected By Abuse. Thank-you for entering and letting me judge your poem to the best of my ability!
Characters:
I had a hard time keeping the characters straight in this dialogue. Maybe a few more paragraphs would help with that. Otherwise it all kind of runs together.
Flow:
The flow was off because one paragraph ran into another so I think my above suggestion might help there.
Spelling and Grammar:
The spelling and grammar need to be checked out as it helped throw your flow off. I like the article itself, its very good and shows deep feelings that are tantamont to being a good writer.
Best Part To Me:
The whole article was the best part to me as I stated above.
Suggestions on improvements from my stand-point only:
Fix the grammar and spelling then have it rayed again and I hink you'll be pleasantly surprised with the results
Have a wonderful day and evening then do some more writing!
My first impression was that you were contemplating all that you had been through over your life thus far.
Plot Thoughts
Going back does have its regrets and sometimes we can't undo things in the past, we have to move forward in our walk.
Errors
To my way of thinking I would like to see this piece longer than what it was. It seemed to skirt around the edges and not have a center to it. Like explainging what regrets you had or what actually you went through? Things like that.
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was your faith that you had so far made it up to the point you are at today.
Suggestions
To give the piece more substance than it has. You are good at writing, just need a litle more detail. But thats up to you only. Your the writer!
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
I read this over twice and each time I liked it even more!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
THe poem made sense each time I reread it and it sounds like someone drinking,meeting someone, going home and sorting through the past moments. Really it's an awesome poem!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
No improvements
Encouragement:
Keep up the good work!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The poem brought me peace and relaxed me as I read it.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
The peace after going through a hard day and feeling content. We all want that don't we?
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I see no room for improvements.
Encouragement:
I can see an excellent writer emerging in your writings. Keep up the good writing as I really think you have a lot of talent that will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I liked this poem as far as how you described your feelings you were goingthrough so well! They were aewsome and you have a knack for descriptive phrases that I envy!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
Evidently this relationship caused your feelings to run rampant!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think maybe if you put some of your lines together instead of spreading them so thin then adding a lot on the bottom? Just a thought.
Encouragement:
I really believe thais poem has the makings to be very good if you try it out different ways. Give it a try and you'll be surprised!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
What was enjoyable and exceptional:
This poem was just so cute! It came off with great flow and I think it was an awesome subject.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
I think we sometime get so busy that we do have a tendency to forget ourselves!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
The flow is a little off on some of it. Stand back and come up and try and read it objectively, like you wern't the one who wrote it, and you'll see what I mean. Maybe your trying to fit too many words in some sentences. Give it a try!
For example try this:
I forgot myself the other day
I left me at the park
The sky was getting, oh so gray
It was far too dark
Encouragement: You are a good writer and I see you fast becoming an excellent one. Just take my suggestions for what you want though. They are meant as just suggestions.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The title drew me in and then I decided to read the entire story but I wish ithad been longer! It took me back to my younger years listening to my mom say brush your teeth each morning!
Plot Thoughts
The moral of the story is not to go into the bars!
Errors
No errors that I see.
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was the person remembering that he was supposed to always brush those teeth.
Suggestions
Just would hae liked a little more detail.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
I guess it would be the different parts of how a person feels at times is how I took it. We all are half parts as far as our feelings go.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
You might not have some of the lines longer than others. I think it kind of throws the flow off a little.
Encouragement:
I enjoyed your writing and can see as you go along that you will soon improve over time just like the rest of us. It's really an awesome piece and it shows that you put a lot of thought into your poems.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The more I read of this writing the more I understood it! It was really awesome and you did a wonderful job with how you desribed how you were feeling!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That to write down what your feelings is tantamont to popping a cork on a brown bottle!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
Maybe shorten up some of your sentences.
Encouragement:
I like your style and would like to encourage you to keep developing it!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I liked the tone of this piece and the words you used to describe it.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
How much you loved someone and it was so heartfelt to read! You have a deep inner side to you that wants to come out in your writings, I can see!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
Maybe a little grammar and punctuation help.
Encouragement:
You have an awesome way of being descriptive in your sentences. Not many can do that that are new writers so keep up the good work!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I enjoyed this story immensely and it has a moral to it!
Plot Thoughts
The confusion concerning why his friends didn't answer him was great! That is a good subject and piqued my interest.
Errors
Punctuation errors need to be straightened out, like capitization. Then it would look better and one wouldn't stumble over the flow. I can see where you are a good writer as far as content and subject, just concentrate a little more on your punctuation.
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was when he finally found out why his friends wouldn't talk with him.
Suggestions
Just straighten out your punctuation.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
I like the name for your poem, it causes one to stop in and read!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That some smiles are false without true meaning therefore they are hollow.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I really think you could benefit by making this poem longer. It appears that something is missing in it.
The flow is off at times its a little stilted.
Encouragement:
Keep writing, I know from reading this poem that you have deep feelings and will improve with time.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
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