This an excellent piece.
Well constructed with meanigful delivery.
It appears you have deep thoughts about emotions and feelings.
This is simple, yet direct.
Very creative and thoughful!
Great story for the list of prompts
You did an excellent job with the plot development
You created very believable characters.
It was very interesting how you put such fine sequences together.
I really enjoyed your ending.
Overall this was a very nice piece of writing.
Hunter's moon,
I love your work! You are an outstanding poet!
This is but one example of your intuitve mind.
The Nove Otto form is quite new to me, however, you have grasped the concept and put to paper.
Hope to read more of your work!
LdyPhoenix,
Good poem.
Your final stanza was an excellent summation to you short poem.
Your message was loud and clear.
I look forward to reading some of previous work and and anticipate more creative offerings from you!
Overall a solid piece.
With respect and sent with a{:wink}and a {:smile}
Artemis Quill
Katasha,
This piece was simple, straight forward, and enjoyable, to me!
Your final stanza was very astute and a great reminder to all.
I found your rhyme/meter very pleasant and flowing.
aralls,
Your title was very good.
The summation, last stanza, said it all!
Very good piece overall.
All your suggestions, here, are plausible/attainable!
Hunter'sMoon,
What a joy to read this{:thumbsup}
Great poemy which brings back memories of the many "field trips" I was a part of during my classroom days!{:bigsmile}
You really stuck it with this poemy, good read start to finish.
I am taken with you consistant rhyme/meter.
Sent after a good chuckle,
AQ
PS:Please check out "G.C Whiz" in my portfolio, t's a true story I am proud to say I was part of this student's education/life!
huntersmoon,
Superior bit of poetry!{:thumbsup}
I enjoyed your poem start to finish.
Your meter{aaab) was done very well, even though there was some variation with a few stanzas.
You created great questions, for thought, with your choice of words.
With respect for your creativity,
Artemis Quill{:wink}{:smile}
fyn,
This is an excellent piece!{:thumbsup}
I was impressed with, not only your title selection"AmricanStew", but you were able to create the poem and blend in the thought with your creative choice of words!
Is there a form that you selected to pattern your poem with or did you just choose to use free verse?
There is a tremendous abudance of thought for all who read this selection!!!
With respect for your talent,
Artemis Quill{:wink}{:smle}
Elizabeth Rose,
This poem reminds me of community at the south end of Denver, CO?
Your word usage and inference were very good!
Also this piece reminds me of the "bubble boy!" Are you familar with this story?
Overall your piece was a good read!
This piece is well thought out.
I enjoyed overall!
Chek the following misspellings:
3rd stanza- "Does'nt"
4th stanza- "im"
5th stanza - "curel"
7th stanza - "thankfull"
Edit as you wish!
Keep writing!!!
Pat,
Nice poem!
Your verbage to descride your "jounery" was pleasantly descriptive.
This work encouraged me to sit back and think about life's hike through a great deal of time and space!
I especially enjoyed the closing stanza!!!
Interesting piece of work
Look to your use of "remoter", I am unsure if there is such a word?
Develop this work further.
Keep writing, you have talent to burn!
What a nice piece of creative writing.
My attention was held throughout!
I loved your character development.
Your story has a good message for all who read it.
The interaction between the characters was excellent.
I think this is one of the best stories I've read, recently, that that has a defining message for its readers.
What a delightful piece of writing! It consumed my attention from start to finish. I was so enthralled, I read it again and was just amazed at how creative you were with this piece.
Few of us take time to really think about creating with ordinary ideas? Do we fail to appreciate the obvious? In your case the obvious became a legitimate well written story!
Thanks for your creative prowess!!!
Respectfully,
Artemis Qill
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I am a new member of this group. I feel this site is an outstanding area for writers to share their expetise as well as identify quality writing by registered authors!
I look for a long and rewarding membership in this communuty!
Respectfully,
Artemis Quill
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