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Review Requests: ON
1,125 Public Reviews Given
1,366 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there.

Considering this review is for a blog post, I'm not sure if it will link to the exact post or be put as a review for the blog overall. If it doesn't show, this review is connected to "I Write Round 3 and WDC Birthday Week" and that makes for a different style of review.

Have to say, while it's a challenge to consider my review, I also enjoy that element of difference. While it's fun to review poems and stories, it's also a nice change of pace to look at something else and give some comments with a different focus.

I have to admit that I've slacked on WDC birthday events for the last 5 years or so. It's such a fun time and a worthy cause for events, yet it always seems to hit at a time when I'm distracted or struggling. It is near my anniversary on the site as well, so one would think I'd take part more but something about end of August and start of September hits odd. This year, I was sick. Last year was busy with work. However, I'm glad to see other people talking about the events and promoting things. I've been on the site almost as long as you but still can appreciate the tips provided with the post here. Thank you.

The discussion of the I Write challenge is also interesting. I haven't taken part in the activity for a while, even though I've always been a fan. I know it can be difficult and to take part more than once a year is very challenging. Well done so far. Even when you scramble (I often do during rounds in previous years) you still can make progress and get things done. I hope you enjoy this time around as well. Good luck to you.
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Review of Free Montana  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt. My apologies for the review delay. Life is still busy offline and I'm doing my best to get time on the site for contests/other activities.


First Impression: The title caught my attention from the beginning and it had an interesting approach to an alternative fiction option. It's got the twist that we can relate to with the pandemic but draws back to the past instead of making one out of the current struggles. It has character and story, which will draw people to read it.


Prompt: For this contest, it was somewhat simple because the entry just had to be found within the genre of alternative history. This is both easier and difficult because of the open nature but also made it fun for the judge/readers to see where each writer took their story. In this case, we have a "free state" of Montana. Works for the prompt and set well in regards to judgement for the contest.


Story Thoughts: This was a creative and interesting approach. I am familiar with the state of Montana in general having grown up south of it. We did a vacation one summer there. It's a nice, very big state. The idea of independence of state is interesting too. While most think of Texas or the South, it made sense to consider a state like Montana as one that could go on its own and have a specific climate of situations. I liked the approach and it read much like a story with the characters along with how the dialogue worked.


Final Comments: Nice work overall with this story. Nothing glaring stood out in relation to the technical side of writing. There is a fair amount of stuff involved within the story and I think if you wanted, it is something that could be expanded even further to a longer story. It has potential and I'd be curious to see where things go if you did work on it more in the future.

Thank you again for entering the site's official contest months ago. I hope you enjoyed the challenge of the genre and coming up with this Montana story.

Good job and keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Graham Solo .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt. My apologies for the long delay in the review. Between work and everything going on, I've had less time to spend on the site. Thank you for your patience.


First Impression: An interesting approach to the alternate history story that focuses on creating a story that has a fantastical/fictional feel in a way that will draw readers down the page. There are some elements that are different but the way they are spun together helps to develop a story people will enjoy to read.


Prompt: This time around, the journey through the genres involved taking a look at the world of alternative history stories. In some ways the prompt could be seen as easy and other aspects make it a challenge. While this story in particular doesn't have, for me, and obvious connection to a particular point in history, it comes with a style and approach that gives the feel of creating a history.


Story Thoughts: I liked the approach you took with the story. Even though it feels a little dialogue heavy at times, those areas and conversations are obviously important. They help move the reader along while giving information needed. The bits of song are nice touches that pull things together. Even with the different names, it wasn't difficult to get used to things since I often read fantasy or sci-fi. Some readers may struggle at first but they will get over it as they get further into the story. You did a great job in creating a struggle and realistic character, putting a lot into the limited word count for the contest.


Final Comments: Overall, the writing is strong. Nothing stood out in particular to make the reader struggle to read or move along. Nothing hindered or tripped the reading. Even the use of italics makes sense considering the style and approach done for the story. We appreciated the entry for the contest months ago. I hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and what you were able to create in this story.

Keep Writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Pernell Rogers .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt. My apologies for the delay in the review.


First Impression: The title is an attention grabber and brought some interest with the description of the item, getting things off to a good start. The characters stand out in particular. Having strong characters followed the story developed, helps to pull the reader through the story.


Prompt: This time around the genre focus was to create an alternative history story. In some ways it can be seen as an easy prompt because an entire genre is allowed but then you have to find a way to narrow things down in order to create a single story. Some histories are easier to see as alternative, depending on the choice made. For this one, even though my history knowledge is waning, I could see the historical side and go from there as we follow through to the alternative approach taken. Nice work.


Story Thoughts: You have a strong story that focuses on a particular story that came a little unexpected. While not obvious it also was a choice that made a lot of sense considering the prompt. You created a character with interest that will bring the reader through the story with curiosity in wondering where things are going to go from the title until the very ent.


Final Comments: I didn't see anything to note on the technical side. You did a good job writing the story and developing both the characters and plot for the short amount of word count allowed. We appreciated the entry months ago for the official site contest. I hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and coming up with the story.

Have fun and keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Espero .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for {ritem:}. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre focused prompt. Sorry for the delay in this review.


First Impression: I had a good connection to the prompt and the possible situation from the beginning of the story with the title. From there, we get a character who is in our time but then we get to see something of the past with the chance that a change could be made. Even though my history knowledge has become quite lacking over the years I could still understand where things were going and didn't mind the dream aspect.


Prompt: This time around the genre contest gave the challenge for the writer to create an alternate history story. The genre contest can be fun since just having to fit within a genre gives lots of options for creativity in stories or poems. That open aspect can also be a challenge in picking what to write and it has to be done in a way the readers/judges can see without having to stretch too hard to fit it within the expectations. With this particular entry, the connection starts off from the title and continues from there making things easy for the judge to tell how the story fits within the prompt for the contest.


Story Thoughts: Interesting approach with the story. The "dream" or character sleeps and goes into a different world/the past isn't as surprising but it's also done really well in your story. A big factor in making a somewhat used or known concept is in the execution. For this one, the way you create the show the character in the beginning and end are what help to make your approach to the story work. I could have used even more but the contest does have word count limits.


Final Comments: The story was easy to read over in general and nothing in particular stood out in regards to the technical side of writing. You took a nice approach in how you created characters, built a conflict and showed a story within a limited framework of a short story. Nice work.

Thank you for taking the time and entering the official site contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge the prompt provided.

Keep Writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Aurthor .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt.

First Impression: This entry had a strong story feel with how it is written. The way it reads gives that almost fictional feel but we still can also see the history with the choice of main point of view character for most of the story. There is a good sense of both character and conflict, which will interest random readers on the site.


Prompt: For this contest it is somewhat simple since the requirement only specifies the genre and that allows many possibilities for what you can create in a story. This time around, the challenge came in writing an alternate history. That does have its own challenges. You never know what the reader will know on the history side and there has to be some connection in order to see what makes it alternate. The approach you took was easy to see with where you took the story and the end. Nice work in putting everything together.


Story Thoughts: This is a strong story with a known, historical figure at the center. We get the character along with a strong sense of conflict with the situation found on this second journey. Things don't go quite as well as one might first think when coming up to a story involving Columbus.


Final Comments: You did a good job in the creation of this story. There was thought and creativity that went into this story, which is evident for the reader. Nothing stands out or trips things up on the technical side. Nice work.

Only suggestion I have that doesn't really affect the impact of the story or the rating is where you place the word count. We appreciate having it available as the judge but most of the time, readers won't be as interested. You want them to get to the story since that is what they click on the item for in the long run. I'd suggest putting word counts at the bottom of items. You can include things like prompts if you want to people know what inspired the story. If you don't want them standing out at the bottom there are options like creating a drop down so only those interested in extra details will have the option to click on it. Something for you to consider.

Thank you for taking the time to come up with this story and entering it in the official site contest for November taking us on a journey through the genres. We hope you enjoyed the challenge with the contest and coming up with this entry.

Keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Taken Out  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Sumojo .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt. We hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the alternate history prompt.


First Impression: It has an interesting approach to the way the story was created with a focus on character dynamics that can help draw a reader in along with the little niche element of the overall story. For me, it was a little confusing at times and there are some heavy dialogue parts that make it feel confined for the contest word count limit but perhaps there could be expansions since the contest has ended.


Prompt: For this contest it tends to be somewhat simple since it can be any story that fits within the required genre. Some are a little easier to see than others but it gives a wide range of options for creating something to enter. Since the story was deemed viable for the contest, that means you managed to use the prompt in a way for your story. Though, to be honest, as the judge and reader, I wasn't sure what history part was involved. Then again, I don't know a lot about KFC to know what is history and what is an altered form of such.


Story Thoughts: I wasn't sure what to expect considering the known inspiration from the contest and the title of the story. As I already stated, there is some aspects of the story that I don't quite understand as the reader. It has potential with the dynamics of the characters along with the way you pace things though it does get a little jumpy with having so many different sections and breaks in the very limited space the contest allows. Perhaps it needs more than the 2,000 word limit, which is okay since most of mine end up that way too. I like the voice you managed to show with the characters and it just depends on what you want to do with the story as to how it could go in the future.



Final Comments: Nice work with the story creation and bringing out the dynamics of the characters. You did get some pacing and other thoughts put into the dynamics are evident when reading through the story a few different times.

One thing you could maybe consider is how you space the different sections of the story. While I do appreciate having something that divides each section, when it comes to the use of emoticons or little images, it feels a little too distracting from the story. While the chickens make sense considering the story and the ending, it can be distracting for readers. Can be kind of cute online but not something you'd want to submit to publishers with them involved if ever considering that as an option with minimal exceptions to that general rule/thought.

Still, nice work in the creation of the story having the dynamics and pacing to draw the reader down to explore the story that you've created. Thank you for taking the time to create this story and enter it in the site contest based on a prompt of creating an alternate history store. We appreciated the entry.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Dance  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sorji .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the genre based prompt. Hope that you enjoyed the challenge of creating an alternative history story.


First Impression: An interesting story with a good focus on the dynamics between the two characters, using a somewhat familiar conflict with an alternative aspect that brings about the genre of the prompt. While a little heavy on the dialogue, the aspects of character along with the situation presented make it something readers will enjoy checking out.


Prompt: This time around, for journey through the genres, you had to create a story that fit in the alternative history genre. We had to see some elements of history but have something be very different about it. Some genres are a little easier to tell than others. For your story, you took an interesting approach because it wasn't necessarily an obvious point or historical moment, but it really showed an alternative world based on a sort of big history aspect with a little question of evolution with man taking over to try and design something. You put in character and conflict around that alteration, which really helped it stand out in relation to the contest.


Story Thoughts: The story was appealing, in particular with how you created the characters giving them dynamics and responses that really brought out the conflict aspect. There was a real element to how the characters interacted with each other along with the familiar, yet different situation they found themselves in. This helped make it all work well together.


Final Comments: Overall, you did a good job with the writing of the story. There wasn't much that stood out when reading the story a few different times.

One aspect on the technical side that you could consider in rewrites or edits is a certain choice in punctuation. Not to say that you've done anything wrong, in particular, but it's something to consider that could add some strength to the story. For me, I find that the exclamation mark is one of the few options for punctuation that needs to be used in spare amounts. The issue with using it so often, the desired impact looses some of its oomph. If you trim out some of them, then it will let the ones that you keep within the story to have a bigger impact.

Nice work with the story. Thank you for taking the time to come up with this based on the alternate history prompt for the site contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed writing it.

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Mara ♣ McBain .

This review is very delayed and from the many months ago round of "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest. My apologies for taking so long in sending the feedback and hope you still enjoy the piece you created months ago. Somehow the review got lost in the background of life with flu season (I work in pharmacy) and the holidays. This was a great job on the story and again, sorry that this is a very late review.


First Impression: Nicely done effort in the creation of this story. Even with the round not having as many entries compared to others in the past, it is easy enough to see why the story placed well. The character is interesting to follow and the sections provided to the reader had a depth that many will appreciate whether they are aware of the music source of inspiration or not.


Prompt: The prompt from the contest months ago was based on music that included lyrics. Music is a good prompt in that it's easy to use music in order to create a story. It can be a challenge for the reader at times to see the inspiration within the story. Overall, this round with the particular song worked out well in giving the readers and judges easy enough of a time in finding the prompt usage. This story worked in that regard. The title has a reference to the song but it also works in focus on the story as it's very fitting and the general plot showcases enough to understand the use fo the prompt for the inspiration.


Story Thoughts: I liked the story. The character had depth and the emotion is easy to interpret within the piece through the sections of story provided. With the focus being on the change in her life, it's one that many readers will be able to appreciate and understand. We can see a little of what brought the character to this point and the focus on how things have changed as she made the move in leaving things behind in her life. The story does well in showcasing how the character has gone about the situation showcased in the title with enough buildup while still keeping to a very limited word count.

The image is extra at the start of the story but in this case, I liked the visual added to the story.


Final Comments: Again, thank you for taking the time to create this entry for the contest. It wasn't the most active of months/rounds and the music contest does give a different type of challenge. I know it can be a difficult task to get that story even though music inspires writing on a regular basis. I appreciated the story and enjoyed the entry even if it took me months to get this pieced together in order to tell you. Congratulations on placing second.

*PenB* Keep Writing

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.


First Impression: An interesting approach with the usage of the prompt and how the characters were showcased in the different segments of the story. The tag game in the beginning brings the reader into the situation, introduces the characters and makes a for a good start. I liked the approach for the most part though it jumped around a little bit with the different segments that cause a little stall each time when reading through.


Prompt: The time around there was the music prompt that included the instrumental and lyrics from which people could draw inspiration. The title itself got some attention from writers along with particular lines. It can be a challenge at times with the music prompts since they are easy for writers to use for inspiration but not always easy for others to see that inspiration as outside readers. This entry worked enough for the judges to tell that the prompt had a connection within the story to qualify for the contest.


Story Thoughts: I like the idea behind the story and where you were going, or at least the parts I was able to interpret. Have to admit that I wouldn't have known that it was six different characters if it wasn't listed in the item description. The struggle with this many characters for the official contest comes in part with the short word count limit. It can be hard to get much when having to bounce from one to the next though you did a good job with the different sections of the story as a method for guiding the reader between the characters.

I had a little struggle distinguishing the different characters and for the particular story length, might have worked out a little better cutting it down to a couple less people as the focus. Or you can expand now that the contest is over to allow each set a little more paper time in order to be able to help set them apart more. Either way can work, depends on what you want to do with the story now that the contest is over.

Final Comments: Overall, you did a nice job in the story creation. Thank you for taking the time to create the story for the site's official contest based off the music prompt and for the patience in waiting for feedback. We appreciate the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge.


*PenB* Keep Writing *PenB*

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Uncertain Paths  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello debmiller1 .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.

First Impression: A good approach to a story with conflict and character. At first there is a little hesitation but when the shaman says "I know why you dream of drowning" you have my attention. I liked the approach and the internal conflict within the main character.


Prompt: The prompt for the contest involved music, which was a song that included lyrics this time around. The contest does pose a challenge for some as it's easy to use music for inspiration with writing but can be difficult to interpret that usage for the reader/judge. Still, overall there was a nice attempt and one can see the usage to enough of a degree with a struggle and a sort of fall without using it for the title. The story is more than enough with the prompt to have qualified for the contest.


Story Thoughts: Not many comments I can make in regards to the story. The conflict and character development are strong. You have something interesting here that will capture a reader's attention and make them curious about what is going on. With the technical side, maybe a minor edit or tweaking of some sentences could put things in a stronger fashion but nothing in particular stands out as needing changed. It's just going to be a matter of personal taste if you want to work on it more or keep things just the way they are in the current version.


Final Comments: Thank you for taking the time to enter the official site contest during the music round. We hope you enjoyed the prompt and the challenge of coming up with the entry. The time you took to write and your patience in receiving feedback is greatly appreciated.


*PenB* Keep Writing *PenB*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Ready to Fall  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.

First Impression: I like the approach you took here. At times, the using quotes and lyrics from someone else can be a little kitschy or bring up questions, seem at times maybe a tad less original, but there are situations and stories where it works in particular. For your entry, it worked with have the small nods and uses then the story for the reader to appreciate. And while I'm not the biggest fan of the first person narrative, that was definitely the best approach to take here as it gave the story a real voice that can be hard to pull off in writing.


Prompt: The prompt for the contest has its own challenge since music can make for a great prompt but at times interpretation and finding the prompt within for the different readers aren't the easiest. Nice to have the lyrics along with the sound for this round. Your entry did use the prompt in a way that should be easy enough for most to see how it was used. Having the it as part of the title is helpful too though could be switched out for something else to make the story more focused on your creation and a little less tied to the prompt, as an option. Still, overall it's a nice approach and use of the prompt from the contest.


Story Thoughts: With the story, I did like the approach and the character development. It can be a little hard to follow with the different italics and having the parts with the character sort of adding the extra commentary, but not to the point that one can't figure things out. I got where I needed to go with it and since knew about the song prompt could tell when it was the lyrics used. Another (random) reader might struggle a tad but nothing too much to worry about. The voice and character hold through and that's what is important with this particular style and story.

In the end, I liked this approach and the narrative elements used. Nice work.

Final Comments: Overall, you did a good job with using the musical prompt provided to create a story entry on the site. Thank you for taking the time to put together this piece for the site's official contest and for the patience in awaiting the feedback. Hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and coming up with the story.

*PenV* Keep Writing *PenV*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth !

Nice to see you keeping up with the writing challenge. I get to review one of your entries in connection with {ritem:2173943. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


First Impression: Fun poetic view of the epic race between the tortoise and the hare. Taking form, rhyme and a well known little tale creates an entertaining poem that different readers will enjoy. It's short and yet dynamic, so works for the contest and as a nice bit of writing for the week.


Contest/Prompt: The contest is fun since it takes a look at the fairy tale into a poetic form. How the write uses fairy tales is up to them and the prompt then comes in through the requirement of a particular form. This round it was a lento form with a beginning and end rhyme requirement for the usual two stanza poem. Your entry will qualify for sure with how it views the tale of the tortoise or the hare within the stanzas that follow the form required.


Form: I do have a couple of comments about how you approach the form: lento. While it does work okay with the way you did the beginning of each line, since they have to all rhyme, I do wonder if there will be a minor issue since technically speaking every line starts with "A". The next words follow the rhyme scheme but since the form lists the very first word of each line is supposed to bring in the rhyme it does seem just a tiny bit off the mark. Many of the lines could have the A removed and it'd still make sense in the poetic style and a couple of them could work fine with a little bit of a rewrite. Something to maybe consider though you could always keep it how you have it now if that's what you really prefer.

The word "ne'er" works fine within the poem. Personally, it does cause a little of a stumble for me as the reader but other people probably won't even notice.

Thanks for adding both information on the source of inspiration (the contest) and the form used at the bottom of the poem. It's great to have that information for any random reader who might not have known about those factors when coming upon the item in your port. It's a nice bit and having it at the bottom helps to keep the information from distracting from the main focus, which is the poem.


Final Thoughts: Overall, you did a nice job. Some things could be worked a little if you felt like playing with the poem but it could stay just as it is if that's how you like the poem. Good luck with the contest and to keep writing for I Write. Have fun and keep writing1




Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "Flash of Inspiration" 
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019"  [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Reaction: A nice approach to a very short poem. I like the idea behind it and the word that was the prompt because it's something we all relate to as writers. It also gives the reader a flash and has a sound to it, the word spark does. It's fun and overall an enjoyable quick poem.


Contest/Prompt: The contest is fun and easy enough to follow. The rules are simple since it's just write a poem that only has 24 syllables based on a word prompt that has to be included in the poem. While the syllables are limited, there isn't any other form restriction with the writer getting to lay out the words in what ever way they want. The word prompt for the day was a fun one and you do a good job with putting it into a poem.


Form: The form is more of a syllable count with this one due to the contest that inspired the very short poem. From my count, you achieve the goal of the 24 syllables. There are many quick ones with most being the single count but there are the couple of words that add length and help slow the reader down just enough to keep them from going too fast. Yet most stays quick and think that works with the focus and the prompt word.


Favorite Part:
A spark is all I need,
a quick flash of inspiration


Final Thoughts: Overall, I liked this very short poem. The word prompt was a good one and this approach worked well. I know the contest round is a challenge since there are going to be many entries with their different approaches to the prompt in poetic form. Good luck with the contest and with the challenge of I Write as we keep going through the rest of the year.

Keep Writing!


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello 💙 Carly

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019"  [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Thoughts: It's a nice little poem with form and rhyme that focuses on showing a view based in particular on the title. Easy enough for different readers to appreciate. Though is more of a quick picture and has a little bit of a feeling like it doesn't go anywhere in particular, which can be okay at times when it comes to poetry.


Contest and Prompt: The contest is fairly open. The main difference is that they limit number of entries each round but there isn't a prompt that must be followed. Makes it easy enough then to fit the requirements of a form poem that shows off meter and rhyme with a challenge coming in narrowing the options down in order to create something. Will be a tough one for the judges and in the frame of competition.


Form: The form is a nice choice in providing a way to create rhythm in this poem within the line requirements and the rhyming. It does have a little risk with the repetition at the end of every single line that might detract from the overall feel or make it seem a little monotonous. Some may like that element more than others. The form itself does allow a little freedom since it requires rhyme but allows the poet to pick the scheme for it. It does appear, according to the note with the information about the prompt that you follow what the form requires.


Favorite Part:
Ancient night settles down so fair
Throughout the forest's frosty air.


Final Notes: Overall, nice work in creating the poem. You did a good job with this pleasant bit of poetry.

With the little note at the bottom, I do have a bit of a suggestion. I appreciate that you put information about the form there. It is very helpful because not everyone is going to want to research to find out more information on the form and saves the judge, or anyone who is going to review with a focus on that element, a little time too. Interesting that you put some other rhyme words at the bottom though I don't quite know the reasoning there. However, with the drop note name being the contest, I would have liked to see a little bit of information about the contest being entered or maybe a link. Either that or change the title of the drop note so it reflects what is found within it better.


Good luck with the contest and the continued challenge of taking part in I Write. Keep writing!


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
91
91
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello ♥Hooves♥

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019"  [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Impression: Interesting. The title caught my attention from the start. Did like the idea behind the poem with where things started in the title. However, I did also get a little lost as I wasn't sure exactly where it was going to go. The references were great though and added a particularly interesting touch that others will appreciate.


Contest/Prompt: The prompt was easy enough for me to tell as I've been watching the contest too. Writer's Cramp is nice since it gives different prompts every day. Don't like one day, wait and the next day it will be something else. It's also helpful since it allows both stories and poems. Since the first line was bolded I assumed that was the prompt though it could also be helpful for random people viewing to have the "prompt" at the bottom of the item. Or not, it's not going to harm not having it with the poem.


Form: The form seems like it's free verse and that is a good choice for the particular poem and contest entry. Think it works well to have the freedom to word things however you want without directions or rules to dictate much.



Favorite Part:
and color invaded the screen
with a yellow brick road to war


Other Notes: Overall, nice work with the creation of the poem for I Write and Writer's Cramp. The references and overall topic were appreciated. However, I did get a little lost and it had a bit of an incomplete feeling. Like it needed to keep going because it didn't quite reach an ending. Each stanza had a purpose, or that was the feeling I got when I was reading the poem. The last line, I wanted to know what it was referencing or the particular purpose, reason for that being the last line but I don't quite get what is going on.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
for entry "Lucifer's Captive" 
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello 💙 Carly

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019"  [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Impression: Overall, an interesting and dark poem. Definitely not something to read if wanting a happy, shiny moment but well fitting considering the prompt, contest and general approach for the poem. It's on the dark side, a bit sad but also brings across a situation to show the reader for not all is well for everyone.


Contest Entered: Checked out the contest as well since part of I Write involves entering our stories/poems into site contests or challenges each week. The contest requires a more darker approach to poetry and gives quite the range for what it allows but does also include a prompt. This round it's quite the image for a prompt and does so well in giving inspiration for a poem.


Form/Structure: I'm guessing that you're going with free verse with the poem since it doesn't seem like it follows a particular form/structure and nothing else is listed at the bottom of the item. That works out the best because you don't have to follow the regulations that a form might require so you were able to focus on the image prompt.

The only thing for me was some of the sentence structures between the lines felt a little off to me. It wasn't bad and I get the reasoning for the lines but at the same times, the pattern and how the sentences came out had a little offness in my head.

Thanks for posting both the image and the link to the contest. I should do that more too.

Favorite Part:
Strength is siphoned away,
And left behind
Is a broken soul
Too weak to dig himself out;


Other Notes: Overall nice work with creating this poem from the image prompt. It works really well with the haunting image that the contest provided for the round. I can see where you are inspired and appreciated the approach taken. Sometimes things get a little dark and end a little sad, which makes this relate-able.


Good luck with the contest and the weekly challenge of I Write. Keep writing.

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
93
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Jellyfish-Vote Green on May 2! . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach. The item didn't have the most poetic feel, per se, but it also had a different political topic that was very appreciated. I liked your approach because it did have that element that helped it stand out for me and was something I could still understand in relation to the concern over the political state of affairs.


Prompt: The contest had a simple requirement in that we needed to simply get a poem that had a political focus. The politics part gave plenty of room for interpretation for the writer while also making it easy for the reader/judge to find the influence. The challenge came in finding a way to make the poem stand out among the others that were submitted for the contest.


Form: Free verse was a good choice as you could focus on what you wanted to say without trying to keep things within a strict set of rules. The only downside is to some this may come across as being a bit less poetic. Others will enjoy the free form and freedom it provided with the different line lengths and stanzas. It feels like we are getting to see a thought process that is a little disjointed but that is one I can appreciate.


Favorite Part:
Now take your future with a dose of cuts –

And Brexit for dessert.


Other Notes: Overall, I enjoyed the poem you created for the contest and that you took this approach. It's a bit strange and it has a strong focus that many can appreciate no matter where they are from.

Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest months ago. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and in creating this political poem.



*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
94
94
for entry "Palm Fronds" 
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Greetings, Prosperous Snow celebrating . I am reviewing your poem today as part of the challenge for "I Write in 2019"  [E].


Initial Reaction: Nice little haiku focused on something natural with a hint of personal added to the mix. It's quick and to the point considering the prompt, which makes sense with the form required.


Contest/Prompt: I checked out the contest and its prompt in relation to the poem since for the challenge we have to enter contests here on the site with what we write each week. The contest is one for poetry and this time around required a haiku for the type of poem. Based on that, this should do well as it does have what one might expect from a haiku.


Form: This poem does appear to meet the requirements of the form required. Haiku has to follow the lines, count and flow all within the compact form. It is nice that you also did the focus on something within nature, which some people do see as something that should be involved in the particular form.


Favorite Part:
their green summer memories


Other Notes: Nice work overall. I didn't see anything really to note in regards to the technical side of the writing. The information at the bottom in the drop note is a nice touch. You could maybe put a link or some more details on what a haiku requires for those who are unfamiliar with the particular form but it's not necessary. Many who are reading poetry will be familiar enough with the form to not need that detail. Good idea on having the contest in the drop note. I always forget about that in entries but it's something I should consider beyond word counts and prompts. Anyways, nice job with the haiku.

Good luck in the contest and in I Write.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
95
95
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, ♫~ Kenword~♫ . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: It was a fun, interesting approach creating a ballad that focused on the small town instead of the general or nationwide political topics while still hitting some of the points that many of us will understand. It is small focused yet wide sweeping at the same time.


Prompt: This time around it was a somewhat simple prompt for the genre focused site contest. The requirement was just to create a political poem, which gave the writer freedom in how they used the prompt while keeping it easy enough for the reader/judge to see the influence/connection. The hardest part with this particular round came in creating something that would stand out among the other political poems.


Rhythm/Rhyme: The poem does follow a rhyme scheme, which helps to give it a bit of rhythm as well. Is part of what takes the reader along through the stanzas from one section to the next. The rhyme isn't to the point of taking over the focus though, as the words and topic still take the attention of the reader more so than the end line rhymes.


Favorite Part:
They sing our song for they know our heart
But they don't know the future is to tear us apart



Other Notes: Nice work overall. I liked the short stanzas in particular with this piece and how they were thought out. The approach of going from the different ones (I, we, him, you) and such made sense. It was clear that you put effort and thought into the creation of the poem in the structure as well as the content.


Thank you for taking the time to enter Journey Through the Genres. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of coming up with a political poem.



*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
96
96
Review of Same Old Same Old  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, ♥Hooves♥ . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: I liked the approach with a topic that hits the nail on the head in many ways. In my years as an adult, the elections have had that feeling: the same old, same old. You brought about the subject in this poetic form and were able to put the thought across while still creating something that could sound poetic.


Prompt: This time around the Journey through the Genre contest had a simple ask in that the genre had to be politics and the item that of the poetic nature. Having it put that way helped to give the writer freedom in what they produced and made it easy for the judge/reader to find the influence of the prompt. Easy to qualify but the challenge then became creating an item that can stand out among the crowd.


Form: Limerick can be a tough form, in particular when drawing it out to more than one or two stanzas but you did a good job with the form. You managed to follow the expectations of the form with the stanzas and rhyme scheme for the most part. In stanza two, the 'a' rhymes felt a little off due to the second line having the s when the others didn't.


Favorite Part:
With each one it's clear
couldn't be plainer this year
I'd like to give both parties the toe of my boot!


Other Notes: Nice work, overall. It's somewhat specific while having enough of an open nature to be relate-able for many people over a topic that isn't always easy to communicate.

Of course, I like the ending. I could have used a Guinness when I was voting though actually, since I did mine from home I enjoyed a different choice in libations. First time with the mail-in ballot and I'm a fan. It did have a little bit of a stumble in regards to the sound/rhythm of the last line of the poem and I think it's because of the way you had to word the beers but that was needed for the rhyme requirement.

Thank you for taking the time to come up with this poem for the contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge the prompt provided.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
97
97
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Dave . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach with this entry. It had a rhythm that is noted in the small set of stanzas produced. And the topic, the political while not being too specific brought about a good point that we see all too often, which each election or anything involving matters political.

Also, while not the prettiest image, the item image of the bat works well with getting attention and the focus on the rabid rhetoric. Nice choice there.


Prompt: This time around the Journey through the Genres contest had a rather simple ask for the prompt. The entry had to be a political poem and pretty much anything within that would qualify. This gave the writer a fair amount of freedom while making it easy enough for the reader/judge to find the influence from the prompt. However, the challenge then was how to stand out among all of the other poems.


Form: Thanks for giving information at the bottom of the poem about the form used. However, the link didn't work, which would have been a nice addition if it had provided more information about the form.

I appreciated the use of a form. Nothing against free verse but I also know the effort it takes into following something this specific and the challenge it presents in putting together the topic.


Favorite Part:
we are fed a diet
of deceit and disdain,
instigating riot
in manner quite insane.



Other Notes: It was a good approach to the ask of a political poem. It had a good rhythm and sound to the lines and still put together a point as to the angle taken in relation to the political realm.

Last stanza, there is a slight issue due to the use of the word "politic". I can see why it was chosen due to the requirement for the syllable count. However, it just sounds off.

Overall, nice work and thank you for taking the time to come up with an entry for the site contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of coming up with this for the prompt.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
98
98
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings, Sorji . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
}. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: A different, interesting approach to the prompt in relation to the political elements and in the general formatting of the "poem". This one had a few unique elements that helped to have it catch my attention in comparison to the many others entered.


Prompt: This time around the genre contest had a relatively simple ask since the prompt required a political poem. The politics element is open enough to give the writer many options and it also made it easy enough for the reader/judge to find the use of the prompt. The bit challenge came in finding ways to create a poem that stands out in the crowd.


Form: It does have a little bit of a non-poetic seeming approach with the form having the separate lines. Wondered a bit what might be like not having as much space but in the end think it's probably better of this way even if it gives it less of a poem look. The capitial letters are done in a way that shows intent and purpose, which is appreciated as it could have easily looked random and without point.


Imagery: One fun aspect of this one with the items listed is it gives the reader a fair amount of things to visualize. Each one that gets crossed off causes me to picture the item listed then think about the reasoning for not allowing it. That also helped to make this a fun read.


Favorite Part:
Lorna Doon's Those are Sexist.

Beef Jerky Those aren't Vegetarian.

Freedom from Judgement That's Not how this Works.



Other Notes: Overall, a nice effort and something that is definitely a creative approach to the prompt/contest.

There are a few of them that really made me think. Most I could get the connection from the crossed out parts and the list but some of them I'm still not quite sure about. Like I wasn't quite sure what about Lorna Doone's is sexist, though I think I've only even had those maybe once. Not a common cookie for me growing up. And do people want fluoride in their water? Also not sure if the one for beef jerky should be "those aren't" or "that isn't" since both plural and singular is just called beef jerky.

Finally, the very last line is almost a little too separate from the poem. I sort of wonder if maybe it isn't even needed cause the reader can come to that point in many ways on their own from the rest of the item. Plus the last crossed out one is strong and to the point so could serve as the ending. Just my thoughts on it at least.

Still it was a good approach to the prompt. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to create a poem for the official contest. We appreciated your entry.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
99
99
Review of Burnt Orange  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings, ridinghhood-p.boutilier . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach with bringing about something specific and how you showcased the disapproval in poetic form. The freedom of topic and from form shows in the item presented along with some very interesting points, methods of wording things to show the reader.


Prompt: This time around the Journey Through the Genres contest had a somewhat simple request. Simply had to produce a political poem. This gave the writer free reign to take it wherever they wanted while also making easy enough for the reader/judge to see the influence of the prompt. The challenge came in creating a political based poem that would stand out among the crowd of other poems.


Form: Free verse gives a certain level of freedom to play with the words and lines however you see fit. It did have a little bit of a form feel to it, in particular with the repeated two lines at the very start and end of the poem. That didn't hinder the poem in any way or provide anything as a boost either, just something I noticed as the reader.


Favorite Part:
We are inhabitants of a fouled, crowded world.
Democracy is burning.
The raw, dark truth
is that politics matters.


Other Notes: Nice touch and effort overall.

One thing you could consider, in particular when focusing on a specific item like "p45" would be to provide some information at the end of the poem for the reader. This is such a wide reaching web site and the platforms/statutes change depending on the election cycle, which can make it difficult for the reader to know exactly what you are referencing. Especially those who are in different countries. You don't need a long detail and if you don't want to distract from the actual poem, you can hide it in a drop note so that the focus is the poem but anyone who wants to know more about the topic can do so.

Thank you for taking the time and putting forth the effort to enter the site contest back in November. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of creating a political poem.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
Review of The New Truth  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi there, Author Ed Anderson . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.

Initial Reaction: A well put together poem that is in many ways what I would have expected from the prompt, image and title connected to the static item.

I like the image you used for the cover. It works well both in the context of the poem and with catching the interest of a potential reader.


Prompt: For the November round of the official site contest, the requirement was rather simple. You just needed to create a poem that was political in some way and in this regard you succeeded. The item you entered in the contest is a poem that is political in nature, thus qualifies for the contest with meeting the provided prompt. It was easy to find the link too, which helps though for this particular round it wasn't too difficult for any of the judges to see the requirements for entries.


Rhythm/Rhyme:
The sonnet gives for a solid rhythm/rhyme scheme. Easy to follow the end rhymes for the different lines and all of them worked without causing any distractions or stalls when they are reading it.


Favorite Part:
Too many tears spilled
These are seeds sown

Actually, my favorite part is the image you used for the cover. That was a great choice that worked well in particular with the subject matter. Will help get reader's attention too so that they will check out the poem when they come upon the item on the site.


Other Notes: Overall, you put forth a nice effort in handling a somewhat touchy subject during this poem creation. Politics has a tough approach in that it can cause some strong reactions as people all have their own opinions on the topic. You put forth yours well in the poetic approach here. You put forth the thoughts in the poetic form.

Punctuation - I'm one who does enjoy the decision to not use punctuation in particular with poetry. Often I've gotten reviews on poems recommending to put it in when it's missing, but think that it works just find without. The only thing to consider is maybe to go either all in and take off the last bit of punctuation if looking for more of a sense of uniformity.

Thank you for taking the time to put forth an entry in the contest. We appreciated the entry and hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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