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306 Public Reviews Given
1,051 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review of Bailamos  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Initial Thoughts
 A cute, well written piece about an embarrassing moment.....

Now For The Review


1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A nice easy read...excellent flow...


2.Grammar
 I saw no problems...


3.Punctuation
I saw no problems


4.Spelling

I saw no problems

5.Overall Impression
This is a fun little piece. I enjoyed it very much. (Now, I'm gonna' fuss...two things I've read in a row....you had a comment that put yourself down: To this day, I wonder what in the world he was thinking to pick me!) I will have no of that...do you hear me young lady!) *Angry**Wink*

Thanks for the fun read.....jacky




God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*
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127
127
Review of Pirate theme  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Initial Thoughts
 This is a theme song parady and it's just fabulous!

Now For The Review


1.Flow of Piece/Readability
wonderful flow....I'm still dancing to the disco music in my head (stop!) whew..that's better....*Laugh*
Excellent rhyme....

2.Grammar
I saw no problems


3.Punctuation
I saw no problems



4.Spelling

Been thinkin what could happen you just need an apostrophe on the "thinkin'" to signify your "typo" was intentional



5.Overall Impression
 Sucks...there goes that music in my head again...if it doesn't go away by bedtime, I'm gonna' come back and change that "5" to a "1".....*Laugh*



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*
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128
128
Review of In Marius' Arms  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Initial Thoughts

oooooohhhh, creepy! *Smile*
Now For The Review


1.Flow of Piece/Readability
the second stanza is a little jumpy...that last line just doesn't seem to fit...


2.Grammar

Hes so much bigger than me, should say: He's so much bigger than I.



3.Punctuation
Good job on punctuation


4.Spelling

Hes so much bigger than me, should be "He's"



5.Overall Impression

A cool and creepy poem....with a little tweeking, it could be perfect.......if you fix it, let me know and I'll up the rating! *Smile* jacky

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*
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129
129
Review of Rewards  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Initial Thoughts
Another great lesson in free verse!

Now For The Review


1.Flow of Piece/Readability

Easy to read....perfect flow....

2.Grammar
I saw no problems.....


3.Punctuation
 You do so well with the puctuation...I beginning to understand free verse poetry. It's poems such as this--that have made me realize how a piece can have so much power when the punctuation is carries the reader through so effortlessly...


4.Spelling
I saw no problems


5.Overall Impression
I loved your piece....so much meaning in such a small space....thanks for the experience!....jacky



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*
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130
130
Review of God's Promise  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Initial Thoughts
This poem relates the "Person" vs "God's Promices"

Now For The Review


1.Flow of Piece/Readability

Nice flow....easy read

2.Grammar
I saw no errors in Grammar


3.Punctuation

Great punctuation


4.Spelling
I saw no spelling errors

5.Overall Impression

A very nice piece with a very true message.
Thank you for this valuble lesson....jacky


God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*
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131
131
Review of Wandering Soul  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is free verse that does well displaying the emotions penned by the writer....

My favorite line:
Can you find the courage?
To conquer the demons
Look into the face
Of your own worst fear
…YOURSELF…

I know this is free-verse, but I would like to see consistent punctuation...I feel it would make the words flow easier...

You did a good job with your use of words, God bless you and keep up the good work....Keep Writing!
jacky
132
132
Rated: E | (5.0)
Everyone needs to read this--it's about a 15yo native American hunter--It's a great story with a twist.

Johnny,
Wow....awesome....I've got chills...your words--your descriptions are perfect. I felt like I was jacy (instead of jacky, lol) I felt his fear--I felt my own heart quicken...for a delicious moment--I was the hunter.... You have a talent baby--I need to come back for more of your stories--this one was wonderful.

Thanks for the experience!......Jaci...ah, I mean, Jacky
133
133
Review of Monster  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Doggone...what a twist! I've got chills...I was believing this...I hope it's not true...lol.
I thought is was an autobiography of sorts--you made me feel sorry for the girl--esp. when it seemed there was no justice in the world...until the justice was exacted by the victim herself.....awesome read...I love twists...absolutely fabulous!

You may want to work on your punctuation a bit.

This line esp. made me stumble:

Ironically I probably wouldn't attract a second glance now as ever since I was twenty one plastic surgery has been gradually changing the shape of my face.

I'm not sure if you mean "one plastic surgery after another"...or what. I don't mind run-on sentences...I think it can be an useful tool in good story telling....but without proper pucntuation, it's hard to grasp the meanings sometimes.

Thanks for the experience...jacky
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