5.Overall Impression Your sweet poem touched me.....a reminder that life is as fragile as a butterfly....and out children need out tender care and protection....thanks for the heart-warming experience......jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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Initial Thoughts A beautiful acrostic...relating to nature..
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability Wonderful flow....awesome imagery
2.Grammar appropriate...
3.Punctuation wonderful use of punctuation..
4.Spelling I saw no problems...
5.Overall Impression This was just fabulous! You skillfully took the prompt and created a beautifully touching piece of flowing imagery....thanks for the experience!
God bless you and KEEP writing! jacky
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Initial Thoughts Thank you for inviting me to your port. This is a beautiful piece a gently flowing poetic prose.
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability
Beautiful flow and imagery....easy read..excellent use of phrasing and words...
2.Grammar I saw no problems
3.Punctuation I saw no problems
4.Spelling I saw no problems
5.Overall Impression It was a lovely journey through your wonderful piece.....thank you. I hope you enjoy it here at writing.com...there are so many wonderful and helpful people here.....and now we have another! You!
God bless you and KEEP writing! jacky
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I enjoyed your poem...you have vivid imagery, wonderful rhythm and rhyme, and perfect punctuation.
You have a beautiful way with words and phrasing. Thanks for the experience!
Keep up the good work!
Welcome to writing.com!
God bless you and KEEP writing! , jacky
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Initial Thoughts Well, right off, I learned something: Note: In Hebrew, the name Bethlehem literally means "House of Bread" I didn't know that. Thanks!
Wow, what a beautiful and powerful piece! This poem describes Bethlehem's loss when Herod ordered her children to be slain.
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability Perfect flow....each eloquent phrase fits flawlessly into the next...you have a beautiful way with words...awesome imagery..
2.Grammar
no problems noted....
3.Punctuation My pet-peeve is punctuation. There are so many nice poems that could be perfect if only the reader knew what the writer had in mind when they wrote it. Your punctuation is perfect...I can clearly hear your voice....
4.Spelling
no problems noted
5.Overall Impression
I love this...The chills and hair standing on end continue as I ponder the words. My favorite line: Who told the gentile Magi,
hurrying east, what they had done
by mouthing their dilemma,
whose final solution
none but Herod knew?
This is a question I had never pondered. I'm impressed. Thanks for the experience! Keep up the good work....I wish I could give this one higher than a "5".....jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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This is a very sweet, gently flowing piece of poetic prose that gives this reader a quiet appreciation of the beauty of the simpler in things in life. There are a few places that need a little punctuation changes, but the everything else is perfect. The flowing imagery is flawless...thanks for the experience.......keep up the wonderful work! jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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Initial Thoughts My initial thought is that I wish I had of read this before I started my entry....because I wouldn't have bothered. How can a bottle of water be made into a horror story? Well, it looks like you had no problem. Dog-gone....that was good...the hair on my arms is still standing up.......Wonderful story..
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability
I couldn't stop reading it--from the first sentence I was hooked.....
2-4. Grammar, punctuation, spelling... I saw no problems....of course, I was much too entralled to notice.....
5.Overall Impression Deliciously scary read!....too awesome!
Thanks for the experience.....jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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This is a very cute story...well written, well told. I could clearly see the characters and their reactions. I maintained a smile throughout the piece. No problems jumped out at me as I enjoyed your story. Thanks for the experience!
jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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This is a very cute piece that puts a smile on my face , mostly because I know exactly what you're talking about. Young people, those who never had to experience typewriter ribbons and white out, have no clue how wonderful this modern age is. Likewise, they have no clue of how foriegn it is for us to learn what seems natural to them. It took me a month here to figure out how to make that smile. It took me another month to feel comfortable enough to actually use it. Thanks for the smile......jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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This is a beautiful poem....wonderful imagery...nice way with words. (This poem reminds me of the book of Job--is that just a coincedence?--or am I just crazy )
I see the same sort of problems with this one as your other pieces: put your spacing after the comma's, you need to capitalize your "i's"
Use your spell check:
acumulate = accumlulate
I have enjoyed raiding your port--I hope my comments have been helpful--keep up the good work and God bless you! .....jacky
Initial Thoughts This is a beautiful poem describing feelings toward the sea.
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability Your words flow sweetly--there is a gentle rhythm and a beautiful rhyming scheme.
2.Grammar
Good....I saw no problems....
3.Punctuation I'm impressed with your punctuation...it helps the poem flow flawlessly....
(Why do you call me,tell me true)--just a tiny spacing problem between "me" and "tell"
4.Spelling No problems except an "i" that needs to be capitalized....
5.Overall Impression I loved you piece...gently flowing with sweet, soft imagery.....thanks for the experience!
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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Initial Thoughts This is a nice poem...it does well in providing images related to the prompt/title
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability I have trouble finding a consistent flow in this. I also find myself rereading the lines to see how they relate. You do have some beautiful phrasing.
2.Grammar I noticed no problems...
3.Punctuation You used punctuation correctly.
4.Spelling I noticed no problems
5.Overall Impression This is a nice poem--I can appreciate the way you demonstrated changes....Thanks for the experience.
jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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This is a wonderful piece about hospital workers facing an unusual case. The writing is so fluid--the characters and dialogue, totally believable...
Jack,
Why haven't I read you before...I adore your writing...quite skillful. I sure hated to see this one end...you last touched it over a year ago. I sure would like to see what's going to happen next. This sounds like a Robin Cook novel--makes me wonder if you don't have a medical background too...
I have no recommendations other than, "finish it", . Thanks for the experience! Jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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Initial Thoughts Awesome story--what could happen to a young boy being bullied? Well, in this case...all he had to do is dream...
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability The description got my attention...then, every line held on to it. This piece flows flawlessly...I never had to stop and re-read anything for clarification.
2.Grammar
I noticed no problems....
3.Punctuation
I noticed no problems....
4.Spelling I noticed no problems....
5.Overall Impression I don't think I've read this writer before--but I'm certainly going to.
You have talent. I was really caught up in this story...I could feel Jimmy's fear, and Robbie's rage. I felt a mixture of terror and delight when I saw the young bullied boy would get his revenge. Thanks for the experience! Keep up the good work!! jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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My partner in the Endureview reviewed you, so now I have to review my arch enemy in short story horror..
Initial Thoughts I love the way you started this story! It immediately grabbed my attention.
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability You're a wonderful writer...your pieces are always written well--and easy to follow. The imagery is excellent...I could clearly see all of your characters....
2.Grammar I saw no problems
3.Punctuation
I saw no problems
4.Spelling You often make my mistake of hyphenating words that do not need hyphens...
"bald-headed" should be "baldheaded"
rear-view = rearview
over-exposure = overexposure
then:
everytime = every time
5.Overall Impression Over all, this is a very cool story...I enjoyed every minute of it. The only thing that sorta interupted the flow...was, Jonathan Hawker spoke to no one in particular --this made me, at first, assume there were other people in the car. "no one in particular"--makes it sound like there WAS others that could have heard him....I think:.."Jonathan Hawker spoke only to himself"...would be better. (Do you understand what I'm saying?) Anyway.....I thoroughly enjoy this! Fabulous ending. Bless you and keep up the good work!
5 stars........jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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Initial Thoughts A beautiful acrostic poem--with some very meaningful advice.
Now For The Review
1.Flow of Piece/Readability A nice flow and an easy read! The writer has puts a soothing voice into her words.
2.Grammar
I saw no problems...
3.Punctuation I prefer punctuation....but this piece flow well without it....
4.Spelling I saw no spellng errors....
5.Overall Impression I love acrostic poetry...This poem is a nice read containing some valuable advice....advice about a literal, "geting back on the horse" theme....but I also read into it a meaning that could refer to any number of things--that when one fails...it is important to try again--to never give up.
Thanks for the advice! jacky
God bless you and KEEP writing!
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....No, don't try to tell me...I get confused just trying to get my work 
. I'm impressed! God Job! jacky