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306 Public Reviews Given
1,051 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Miracle or Misery  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Miracle or Misery  (E)
This was written on the second day of a four day migraine.
#891209 by Ann Ticipation



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
An intense read...painful imagery...great flow--wonderful rhyme..


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate....

*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
Excellently done...I could hear your words...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no errors...


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
This is a well written piece--although quite depressing....but as noted in your description--written during a 4 day migraine--I fully understand the dispair. Sorry you have to go through them...Keep up the good work...but I hope you find a better muse in the future *Wink*.....

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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52
52
Review of Scars  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Scars  (E)
the one that never really goes away
#918399 by Lyfealways



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
Great!


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropraite...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
Good...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
It takes talent to make such a vivid impression in so few words...excellent! Keep up the good work!



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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53
53
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 The Old Man Around The Corner  (E)
A short story of an old man around the corner.
#917910 by Vortex



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/ReadabilityThis is a nice story--the title grabbed my attention. It was a very interesting read. The flow was interrupted only a couple of times--as explained below.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
"that I was could never comprehend" I don't understand this line?

"walked over, slowly, towards him." should be "toward"




*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
Most of the punctuation was great! The following lines were a bit confusing...

"I guess that he must have seen the large amount of money that I parted with as immediately, after I turned around, the strumming stopped." I had to read this line several times--I think you mean to say, "I guess that he must have seen the large amount of money that I parted with, for as soon as I turned around, the strumming stopped."



*Balloon6*4.Spelling
"Yet, each time I past him," should be "passed"

*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
This is a nice piece. It was heart-warming that the son forgave the father. I'm not sure it was a brave thing to leave because of a bankruptcy--sounds more like a cop out--but I'm still glad the son had forgiveness for his father. Keep up the good work--I enjoyed your story.*Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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54
54
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Horrifying Moments  (E)
A true gost story.
#917795 by Hungryblob



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A very nice read! The title and description grabbed my attention, and I never stumbled during the read....it's a good idea to either space your paragraphs or indent them.....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate.....

*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
a few suggestions:

--One summer’s night in my roomcomma --
--I said to myselfcomma “My mind
-- started down to my parent’s should be parents' room
--Out of nowhere anothercomma
--When I looked back up to get a better view of the spirit comma
--That Sunday at churchcomma
--This is the first time I have ever told this story to anyone,period instead of a comma It will be your

*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no errors in spelling....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
This is a wonderfully scary tale! Keep up the good work!



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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55
55
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


WARNING TO READERS: ENTIRE PIECE HAS BEEN INCLUDED IN THIS REVIEW!

*Balloon2*Review for:
 The Magical Item by Steven Harper  (E)
A magical item that can make any wish come true, but with a price.
#917731 by TG



*Balloon3*Flow of Piece/Readability
Your piece is very imaginative, but it needs a lot of mechanical help.

Suggestions: Once upon a time agodelete "ago" and use a comma here there was a man who had a "a" should be "an" item. This was no ordinary itemThere should be a period here and the "t" in "this" should be capitalized this item could grant wishes of any kind. The magical item was a blue colored vial with a white star around it.It can be effective to start sentences with a conjunction (like "but" and "and"), but it shouldn't be overly done. But if someone was to wish something evil to happen the vial will change its color to a dark red and a metor metor? pattern, the holder of the item will recieve remember: i before e except after c--so "recieve" should be "receive nightmares of destruction until one night a purple light like fire with a meteor will destroy that person. If the person is pure evil then the evil wish would destroy alot a lot is two words of people at that person's command. So one day the man wish wished he could fly around the world comma so he did. Upon flying around the world he came across a village period, then start a new sentence he saw a king. This king was a prosperous man, he had a whole village full of people at his command. They loved him as much as they loved their children. The man saw how the villagers loved the kingcomma so he left and grew jealous. Over a period of time his lust for power and to be loved by the kingdom grew, until he looked at the vial for a long time, then he made his wish. He wished that the king was dead and he was the king. With the wish he had castcomma he was the new kingcomma but the people loved him just like he was the original king. He was very grateful for the wish. 6 Spell out your numbers months have passed very quickly he have been having nightmares about his destruction. The last two sentences change tenses. He had grown very hostile to the villagers within time the villagers left. One night he had a dream that he was destoyed destroyed by a meteor. He woke up shaking and breathing heavily, sweat ran down from his faceperiod and then start a new sentence he looked all aroundcomma then suddenly the castle was shaking he went out side and peered into the sky. He saw a purple like fire with a meteor around it. Suddenly remembering the wish and the consequences that came with itcomma he accepted his fate and he was destroyed by the meteor. Nothing was standing thereperiod and start another sentence everything had perished except for the magical item. As for the magical itemcomma it turned back into the blue color and star pattern.






*Balloon4*Overall Impression
I enjoyed your story. You have a wonderful imagination! *Bigsmile* You just need a little practice on the mechanics. Remember to use your spell check! *Bigsmile*


God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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56
56
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Counting Heartbeats  (E)
First-person account of a heart-attack and how a hospital responds
#917723 by woods_kb



*Balloon3*Flow of Piece/Readability
 An excellent read. My only suggestion would be to either space the paragraphs or indent them...for the ease of the reader....I saw no other problems...


*Balloon4*Overall Impression
This is a great and informative read! Thanks for the experience....*Smile*


God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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57
57
Review of Misunderstood  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Misunderstood  (E)
This is about a girl who just wants to be accepted as herself...
#917700 by Meggy



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
Nice flow--very nice! I would suggest that you space or indent the paragraphs--this would help the reader....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
appropriate for this monlogue type piece...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no errors....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
The writing is impressive for its own right, but for a 14yo! Wow! Keep up the great work!

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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58
58
Review of The Legacy  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 The Legacy  (E)
A short lesson about helping others without expecting anything in return.
#917638 by DavidG



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
 This story is wonderfully told--but I do have a couple of suggestions that would help the reader:

--It helps to space paragraphs when written in this block style. Or...simply indent the paragraphs....

--I would suggest you put the "clipping" in italics and indent the entire passage. That would make it clearer to the reader that it is the clipping they are reading...


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I noticed no problems....


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
On Friday mornings the library was a extremely pleasant place the "a" should be "an"


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
 I enjoyed your wonderful story that holds a moral lesson...Keep up the good work...

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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59
59
Review of Requiem  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Requiem  (E)
A tribute to the great violinist Isaac Stern
#917598 by n4ekm



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
Your words are so beautiful--the imagery, simile and metaphor are awesome--this piece has a haunting flow...


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
As wonderful as this piece is, I can't help but think the flow could be improved with better punctuation--it would help me, as the reader, hear your voice...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Your use of language has blown me away. I can feel, hear and see your words....

Keep up the excellent work--it is only the punctuation that keeps me from giving you the "5" this piece should have....if you brush it up a little, let me know...I'd love to up the rating. *Smile*


God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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60
60
Review of Glorified Spirits  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*



*Balloon2*Review for:
FOLDER
Glorified Spirits  (ASR)
Poetry relating to God or anything spiritual
#648517 by Lexi


*Balloon4*Overall Impression
This is a wonderful folder filled with beautifully inspiring poetry. I enjoyed my visit! Thanks!

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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61
61
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 This is God Speaking  (E)
It's funny when you write something and realize you needed to hear it more than anyone
#916368 by Amatha



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This is an absolutely beautiful piece! The title and description grabbed my attention, and I loved every line of your poem. You have beautiful rhythm and rhyme.....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
Well done...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
 I noticed no errors....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Beautiful....I love the message in this wonderful piece....

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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62
62
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 God Bless the Cowboy  (E)
Saddle in his hands, spurs on his boots...
#787681 by April Showers



Oh, what an awesome poem! I personally love poetry that tells a story--you did a wonderful job with this one...excellent rhyme and rhythm. I really enjoyed this! *Smile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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63
63
Review of Don't Fall  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Don't Fall  (E)
An Italian sonnet. How I interpret love.
#915824 by Bekah Aura



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
 Nice flow with an appropriate rhyming scheme of an Italian poem. You use very powerful imagery and metaphor...


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
appropriate.....


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
 "hearts" should be "heart's"


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Very nice piece...I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work....



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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64
64
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 To Touch a Man's Face  (13+)
A woman's desire and a rarely found insipiration.
#915822 by Trinita Moinuddin



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A nice read with a nice flow. Only one sentence--right at the end made me stumble. The last line: With those unspoken words he told her the most important thing a woman ever wanted learn - that he too longed for touching her face, in ways nobody had ever done before. It is a touching ending, but the wording was a little confusing to me.



*Balloon4*2.Grammar
 Except for maybe the last line, I noticed no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
 I noticed no problems...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
 I saw no errors....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
 A very nice and touching piece. I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work.

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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65
65
Review of Mistaken  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Mistaken  (ASR)
From my heart to my hands
#915146 by nkeys



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
I believe this piece would work better with some work on your punctuation.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
 I'd rather see a piece totally devoid of end-line punctuation, rather than it being used sporadically. I would captialize the first letter in the 3rd line, and place a comma at the end of that line. I would put a period at the end of the 4th line.

The remainder to the piece needs similar work on punctuation...it would help the reader to know how you meant it to be read...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
 Misspellings I noticed: In the forth stanza:"are". In the last stanza: "running". In several stanza's, your "I" is not capitalized, and in other places it is....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
This is a beautiful and emotional piece. It has a lot of potential. I enjoyed the read! Keep writting!*Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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66
66
Review of Desert Illusion  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Desert Illusion  (E)
Acrostic Poem for 'Every Week Something New Contest'
#915110 by Seraph - Dispirited



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A beautiful poem--flow could be helped a bit with more precise punctuation....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I think it would help the flow a bit if you were to have:
A comma after line 1
A period after line 2
A period after line 5
A comma after line 14



*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
I love acrostics. Yours is beautiful. I enjoyed the read. If you decide to work on the punctution, let me know and I'll be happy to up the rating on this deserving piece. Keep up the good work....jacky

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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67
67
Review of On Coldness  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 On Coldness  (13+)
2nd person. Flashbacks and loneliness lead to...
#915611 by Amethyst



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This is an emotional piece with a wonderful use of language, but the flow of this piece is choppy due to multiple sentence fragments...for example: You are hated for the way you view the world. As a place of agony. As written, the second line is left as a sentence fragment.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I noticed no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
When you use the three periods...such as this...*Smile*, you don't need a space after the last period


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
In: echos off you heart, "echos" should be "echoes"


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
I enjoyed this deeply emotional piece. If you decide to work on the sentence fragments, I'd be happy to up the rating on this deserving piece.*Bigsmile* I enjoyed the read!*Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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68
68
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
  Addicted to Sponge Bob  (ASR)
Top Ten List of Reasons you know you are...
#888795 by NanoWriMo2018 Into the Earth



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This is a fun read--especially for Sponge Bob addicts....*Laugh*


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
appropriate.....


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Cute piece!*Laugh* Thanks for the laugh!*Laugh*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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69
69
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 The end of times by a fevered crone  (18+)
just some weird thoughts on the how of the end times could happen
#824936 by grandmapat



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This piece works great as a monologue--but there are some places that inhibited the flow a bit, such as:
but many leave the how nebulously vague. I had to go back and read this line a few times before I realized what it was saying. I believe that line would be more clear if you were to put it in italics.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
Beginning a sentence in a conjunction, such as And or But can be effective--especially in a monologue type piece....but technically it is grammatically incorrect.
*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I notices no major problems...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no problems...

*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Cute piece!*Smile* I enjoyed the read *Smile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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70
70
Review of Behind the scenes  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful piece skillfully written in the mind's eye of an eight-year-old girl.
*Balloon1**Balloon1*

I love how this piece is written--it reminds the reader of the "life and death" struggles of a child finding acceptance in her "society". You have a wonderful insight into a child's mind.

A couple of things jumped out at me:
A few times you use the word:
--alright--should be "all right"
--Several times you have mom, but it should be "Mom" when the word is substituted for a name.
--In the last line, you need a comma after: "after all"
--Although I feel the way you wrote the first lines is very effective in grabbing the reader's attention, technically it is grammatically incorrect--in that, technically the first lines and second paragraph should be together, but I wouldn't rush to change it unless this fact begins to effect ratings...*Wink**Bigsmile*
Your story is precious and enchanting! I adore it! Thank you for inviting me to your port.

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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71
71
Review of Peacenik Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A poem about the author's thoughts on war--A MUST READ!
*Balloon1**Balloon1*

Excellent! I love the title of this piece. The description was also very effective in grabbing my attention. This is a well written poem--wonderful flow, and a pleasently interesting rhyming scheme. You did well writing on an emotionaly stirring subject...I have no suggestions for improvement--I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Thanks for sharing....
God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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72
72
Rated: E | (5.0)
I appreciate your thoughts on public reviews. I hate doing them and avoid them unless something is just such an exceptional piece of work that I truly believe deserves more attention. But when I do only those good pieces (that get "5's"), I get criticized for not giving the authors critical advice. The pieces I usually put on there--don't need my advice *Laugh*...that's why they are on there.*Laugh*

I enjoyed your well written, informative article...thanks! Just for fun, this is going on public review! *Wink*
jacky*Cool*
73
73
Review of Why I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful bio!
*Balloon1**Balloon3**Balloon1*


Your story is inspirational! I noticed no technical errors in this piece. I thoroughly enjoyed this peek into your life. I wish you well in your endeavors!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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74
74
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This author does an excellent job in writing "bad" poetry!
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*

This folder is full of "Bad" poetry. Some are not so bad, some are really bad and some are down right hillarious!
God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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75
75
Review of Chuckles  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


I thoroughly enjoyed the adorable stories in this folder! I'm still smiling! *Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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