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True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
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Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
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nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
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Public Reviews
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101
101
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Bdot ,

Having immersed myself in your ekphrastic poem, "Dead Yellow," inspired by a piece of visual art, I am compelled to share some reflections with you. Your exploration of color, identity, and transience paints a vivid picture, prompting introspection on the profound themes embedded within your verses.

In the opening paragraphs, your introspective approach invites readers to question the essence of the subject's identity. The line "Was there a crystalline, radiant gaze before that hand spoiled your face" immediately prompts contemplation on the impact of external forces on one's identity. This evocative imagery sets the stage for a deeper exploration of the theme of transformation.

Your style in this poem is distinctive, marked by a blend of poetic lyricism and raw emotion. The phrase "mouth bloom" captures a moment of emergence, yet the subsequent description as "speaking in the tongues of a putrid, stagnant color" introduces conflict that adds complexity. This stylistic choice intensifies the emotional resonance of the poem, leaving readers with a lingering sense of unease.

Thematically, this ekphrastic delves into the intersection of beauty and decay, symbolized by the color yellow. The imagery of the subject's face left "in the ruins of those throngs of awful yellow" paints a poignant picture of the inevitable decay that accompanies the passage of time. The juxtaposition of vivid language with the bleak imagery creates a powerful thematic tension.

The form of your poem, with concise yet impactful stanzas, contributes to overall potency. The brevity of each line enhances the sense of urgency and immediacy, mirroring the fleeting nature of the subject's transformation. Consider exploring variations in line length to further play with the rhythm and pacing, adding a dynamic quality to the poem.

Poetic devices, such as the repetition in "Did I see you first, Or did I speak to you last?" serve to emphasize the ambiguity and cyclical nature of human connections. The use of questions throughout the poem engages the reader in a reflective dialogue, inviting them to grapple with the complexities of identity and perception. Expanding on these devices could amplify the thematic depth of your work.

As a suggestion, consider incorporating more sensory details related to the visual artwork that inspired this poem. Specific visual elements can serve as anchors, providing readers with a more immersive experience and deepening connection between the visual and the verbal.

Thank you for sharing "Dead Yellow." I appreciate the thought-provoking journey your words have taken me on.

Sincerely,

Brian
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102
102
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Grace,

"Unconscionable War" masterfully captures the harrowing essence of civil conflicts, delving into the depths of human hatred and tragic consequences that befall generations. The sonnet unfolds with a visceral exploration of burning animosity born in the crucible of war, emphasizing the cyclical nature of violence that perpetuates itself. The choice of language is both poignant and evocative, painting a vivid picture of the lingering embers of destruction.

Stylistically, the sonnet adheres to a traditional form, employing iambic pentameter and a Shakespearean structure. This classic approach enhances the gravity of the theme, providing a timeless quality to the exploration of war's horrors. The disciplined rhyme scheme contributes to the poem's musicality, creating a rhythmic cadence that echoes relentless cycles of conflict. This adherence to form serves as a powerful contrast to the chaotic subject matter, highlighting the stark juxtaposition between the structured verse and the chaotic narrative.

The theme of futility and the profound impact on future generations resonates strongly throughout. Lines such as "Choking on grief of heroes unsung, / Their tears are swallowed by the sand" evoke a deep sense of loss and the erasure of heroic deeds in the face of overwhelming tragedy. The symbolism of tears being swallowed by the sand reinforces the idea of a desolate and unforgiving landscape that bears witness to the consequences of war.

Poetic devices, including metaphor and personification, enrich the language and deepen emotional resonance. The metaphorical use of black as a force that blankets the hearts of the misguided encapsulates the pervasive darkness war instills in the human psyche. Personifying peace as a potential resolution, the lines "In peace they would find what they lack / But for some the only way is divided" encapsulate the tragic irony of conflict preventing the very peace that could heal.

Suggestions for further exploration include considering specific historical or cultural contexts to anchor the poem, providing more backdrop for the reader. Expanding on the consequences of a divided path and its impact on unity could amplify the narrative, offering a more comprehensive exploration of the theme.

Overall, "Unconscionable War" is a poignant sonnet that navigates the complexities of war with lyrical finesse, urging reflection on the enduring cost of human conflict. I enjoyed considering this piece for review.

Sincerely,

Brian
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103
103
Review of Unmade Bed  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Kelsey,

I've had the opportunity to immerse myself in your ekphrastic poem, "Unmade Bed," inspired by Imogen Cunningham's photograph. Your exploration of the tangled emotions within the disheveled sheets unveils a visceral journey that resonates deeply.

In the opening paragraphs, your introspection skillfully delves into the imagery of the poem. The line "a gun to the spine" thrusts readers into a world of discomfort, setting a tone of unease that pervades the entire piece. This visceral metaphor effectively conveys the emotional weight carried within the unmade bed.

Your unique style is notable, especially in phrases like "twisted in the sheets, a browning ivory that puts my skin to shame." Here, the juxtaposition of the physicality of the bed with the emotional impact on the speaker's identity creates a poignant moment. The use of color and texture adds a layer of complexity, inviting readers to visualize and feel the emotional nuances.

Thematically, your poem navigates the intersection of life and death, echoed in the lines about a Ouija board and spirits attracted to various phenomena. This thematic exploration adds depth to the narrative, creating a rich tapestry of interconnected images. The incorporation of freckles laced with sweat introduces a personal, intimate element, linking the universal themes with individual experience.

The form of your poem contributes to its impact, particularly in the fragmented structure that mirrors the chaos within the unmade bed. The scattered lines and abrupt shifts effectively convey the tumultuous emotions evoked by the photograph. The choice to break free from conventional structures enhances the overall intensity of the piece.

Poetic devices, such as alliteration in "splintered bed-frame," contribute to the musicality of your verses. The personification of the bed-frame piercing lunar pedestals adds a surreal quality, enhancing the dreamlike atmosphere of the poem. Consider exploring more of such devices to elevate the sensory experience for the reader.

In terms of suggestions, perhaps you could further amplify the connection between the photograph and your emotional response. Integrating specific visual details from Cunningham's work into your verses could deepen the ekphrastic engagement. That’s if you were still considering any revision, as no specific suggestions to offer.

Thank you for sharing this compelling piece. A pleasure to reflect on this added dimension of "Unmade Bed."

Sincerely,

Brian
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104
104
Review of Wire Braids  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jared Lord ,

"Wire Braids" unfolds with a poignant reflection on captivity and the enduring power of the human mind. The initial lines draw the reader into a distant past, where a defiant spirit, encapsulated in the phrase "You can lock up my body but not my mind," sets the tone for the exploration of resilience against physical constraints. Your first sonnet navigates the complexities of imprisonment, both physical and psychological, delivering a powerful thematic impact…that which I have come to relate.

Stylistically, this sonnet exhibits a notable transition from Iambic Tetrameter to Iambic Pentameter, showcasing the organic evolution of the poem's rhythm. This shift adds a dynamic quality to the verse, reflecting adaptability of the speaker's thoughts. The deliberate choice of the sonnet form aligns with the gravity of the theme, capturing the essence of confinement within the structured constraints of fourteen lines. The brevity of the lines enhances the emotional weight, emphasizing each carefully chosen word.

The recurring motif of wire braids serves as a potent symbol throughout your sonnet. It encapsulates the entwining nature of imprisonment, not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. The phrase "A chasm, uncrossable, even thought / It is only wire that keeps me on this side" masterfully conveys the paradox of a seemingly simple barrier becoming an insurmountable obstacle. This metaphor resonates with a reader as myself, inviting introspection into the intangible confines that can restrict one's freedom.

Poetic devices, such as the internal rhyme in "Bitterly, angrily, rightly so," contribute to the musicality of the verse. The deliberate use of rhyme enhances the poem's flow while underscoring the emotional states of bitterness, anger, and justification. The concluding couplet, with its solemn farewell and the anticipation of absence, leaves a lingering impact upon a reader.

Suggested areas for further exploration could include delving into specific details of the speaker's journey or experiences within the concrete cell. Providing vivid imagery or concrete instances could amplify the emotional resonance and connection, offer readers a more immersive experience. Overall, this is a compelling debut sonnet that has skillfully navigated its themes of confinement, resilience, and the enduring strength of the human spirit.

It was a pleasure to read and lend my thoughts to your verses.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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105
105
Review of Jorge  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Fluke ,

"Jorge" delves into the complexities of oppressed gay love, encapsulating the tumultuous emotions within the confines of a modified sonnet form. The stylistic choice to employ the modified sonnet adds a layer of tension and constraint, mirroring the societal restrictions on the depicted love. The poem navigates through intense imagery and emotive language to depict a narrative of clandestine passion and the struggle against societal norms.

The style of the poem is marked by its vivid and provocative language, illustrating the clandestine nature of the depicted love affair. The opening lines, "Two philandering seeds of deviance / happen off guard to each other," immediately set the tone, portraying the love as furtive and subversive. The use of "Lubricious kisses of convenience" employs sensual and evocative language, heightening the intensity of the emotions involved in this unconventional relationship.

Thematically, the poem explores the intersection of desire and societal oppression, focusing on the persona's feelings for Jorge. The contrast between "Vitality grows to unearth and sway" and "cultivates a dry monsoon within me" creates a poignant image of internal conflict, where the speaker grapples with the passionate intensity of their emotions juxtaposed against the harsh societal landscape. The choice of "my Latino lover" adds a cultural layer, highlighting the diversity within the LGBTQ+ experience and the unique challenges faced by individuals navigating both their identity and societal expectations.

The modified sonnet form contributes to the thematic exploration, creating a sense of constraint that echoes the societal limitations imposed on the love described. The structure allows for a controlled yet expressive presentation of the narrative. The abruptness of the lines, such as "Earth conducts melodies of me and Jorge," intensifies the emotional impact, emphasizing the disruption caused by societal judgments on their love.

Poetic devices are employed strategically to enhance the emotional resonance of the poem. The use of alliteration in "bludgeons my body gently" creates a paradoxical image, combining violence and tenderness, underscoring the emotional turbulence experienced by the persona. The metaphor of "Earth conducts melodies" introduces a cosmic dimension, suggesting a universal connection that transcends societal prejudices, adding depth to the thematic exploration.

As a suggestion, consider further exploring the emotional nuances and internal struggles of the persona. Expanding on the speaker's inner conflict and the societal pressures faced by Jorge could provide additional layers to this narrative. It could involve delving into specific moments or memories that capture the essence of forbidden love.

It was a great experience to read and view the poet’s vision within this poem. *Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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106
106
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Snow White ,

In "First Morning Of Spring," you masterfully capture the essence of awakening nature, ushering in a new season with vivid imagery and evocative language. The opening lines paint a mesmerizing picture of the "Fireball Sunrise," a celestial event that serves as a metaphorical key to unlock the dormant life in the surroundings. The choice of "peeking yellow and gleams" creates a sense of anticipation, echoing the subtlety of the early morning light.

The style employed throughout the poem is both delicate and powerful. It skillfully employs concise and expressive language, such as "light leaning through dusty elm," to evoke a tactile and visual experience. This simplicity in style adds to the poem's charm, allowing a reader to immerse in the beauty of the moment without being weighed down by unnecessary complexity.

Thematically, the poem revolves around the rebirth and rejuvenation associated with the arrival of spring. The metaphor of the "Sleepy bud unfurling" becomes a poignant symbol of renewal, as if the natural world is shaking off the weariness of winter. You have seamlessly woven nature's elements into a narrative of growth and transformation, creating a universal resonance that transcends the seasonal context.

The form of the poem is notable for its brevity and focused narrative. Each line feels purposeful, contributing to the overall flow of the poem. The concise structure mirrors the fleeting yet profound moments of the first morning of spring, capturing the ephemeral beauty of the scene. For instance, the use of semicolons in "shedding moonbeams; and melting frozen dreams" creates a rhythmic pause, emphasizing the transformative nature of the season.

Poetic devices are employed with finesse, enhancing the sensory experience for the reader. The imagery of "Silence drips fresh from olden tears" is particularly striking, appealing to the sense of sound and touch. Additionally, the personification of nature, with the bud "dressing in Nature's best" and "breathing in Summer's first," adds a layer of intimacy to the poem, establishing a connection between the reader and the unfolding natural world.

In terms of suggestions, consider exploring variations in rhythm to further emphasize the dynamic awakening described in the poem. Experimenting with line lengths or incorporating occasional enjambments could enhance the sense of movement and growth within the verses.

It was a pleasure to read and react with this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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107
107
Review of Erasers  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello BeHereBook ,

"Erasers" is a delightful acrostic mini-sonnet that skillfully combines form and theme in a concise yet impactful manner. The poem explores the multifaceted role of erasers in the creative process, weaving together a narrative of craftsmanship, flexibility, and the rhythmic dance of iterations.

Stylistically, the acrostic form adds a layer of intricacy to the sonnet, with each line contributing to the spelling out of "Erasers." This clever structural choice not only reinforces the theme but also showcases the poet's ability to seamlessly integrate form with content. The use of iambic pentameter lends a classic cadence to the verse, enhancing the sonnet's musicality.

The theme revolves around the transformative power of erasers in the act of writing. The lines "However much my craftsmanship would ebb, / Erasers cleared the way for redesign" beautifully encapsulate the idea of erasers as agents of refinement, allowing the poet to navigate the ebb and flow of creative expression. This theme resonates with anyone familiar with the writing process, creating a sense of universality in the poem's message.

Poetic devices, including alliteration and metaphor, enrich the language and contribute to the overall texture of the sonnet. The phrase "Obliterated words fell to the ground" employs alliteration to create a melodic quality, drawing attention to the transformative act of erasure. The metaphor of words becoming "dust on paper, soft and warm" evokes a tactile and sensory experience, heightening the reader's connection to the creative process.

Suggested areas for further exploration could include expanding on the emotional nuances of erasure—perhaps delving into the bittersweet aspect of letting go of words or the liberation found in the act of clearing the canvas. Additionally, considering specific examples or anecdotes related to the poet's experience with erasers could add a personal touch, making the poem even more relatable.

This is skillfully crafted, celebrating the overlooked yet indispensable role of erasers in the poet's journey. Its blend of form, theme, and poetic devices harmoniously engage and invites readers to reflect on the intricate dance between creation and revision.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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108
108
Review of Wasting Time  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

I've had the pleasure of reading your Sedoka poem, "Wasting Time," and I'd like to share my thoughts on your work, focusing on style, theme, form, poetic devices, and any other notable aspects.

Your choice of title, "Wasting Time," immediately conveys a theme that resonates with many readers. Time is a concept that universally intrigues and concerns people, and you've captured this theme with precision. It's a subject that invites introspection and contemplation.

Stylistically, your poem follows the traditional Sedoka form with two three-line stanzas. This form allows for a concise expression of your ideas. However, it's important to note that Sedoka often contains a thematic shift or progression between the two stanzas. In your poem, the first stanza focuses on time personified as a black cat with bright orange eyes, which is an evocative and unique image. The second stanza shifts to a more general reflection on the passing of time. While both stanzas are engaging, consider whether you want to develop the thematic progression further.

Your use of metaphors and personification is noteworthy. The portrayal of time as a black cat with bright orange eyes is intriguing. It adds an element of mystery and potential danger, suggesting that time can slip away unnoticed. The line "fools count seconds and waste hours" is a strong example of this metaphor's effectiveness. It conveys the idea that focusing too much on the minutiae can lead to the loss of precious moments. However, it's worth considering whether you can expand upon this metaphor or use other metaphors to enrich the imagery.

In the second stanza, the phrase "our hearts tick away our days" is a poetic device that personifies the heart and time, aligning them as co-conspirators in the passage of life. This line has a melancholic undertone, emphasizing the march of time and its impact on our lives. The metaphor of "turning our lives into dust" is a vivid and somber image, symbolizing the fleeting nature of existence.

For a Sedoka, you've made a clear and concise presentation. However, you might explore deeper emotional nuances and perhaps elaborate on the consequences of wasting time. Delving further into the emotional impact of this theme can create a more profound connection.

The consistency in structure of a Sedoka is a strength, but you might also consider experimenting with variations in line length or rhyme scheme to add a dynamic quality to your work. I suggest these ideas primarily for the purpose of crafting that next poem, when seeking another approach.

I found "Wasting Time" thought-provoking as something of a theme I waste a lot of time contemplating and writing about. Your Sedoka effectively explores the theme of time slipping away. Your use of metaphors and personification adds depth to the poem, and encourage you to further develop these elements to enhance the overall impact of your work. It was intriguing to see how you handled this in the Japanese form.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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109
109
Review of The Old Wood  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Green Valley ,

I've had the pleasure of reading your Sedoka poem, "The Old Wood," and I'm quite intrigued by the imagery and themes presented in this piece. I'd like to offer you some feedback and insights into your work.

Your choice of words and imagery in the opening lines immediately paints a vivid picture of a dense forest. The word "verdant" conveys lushness and life, setting the scene for the reader. The phrase "Giants elbowing for space" creates a powerful visual of the towering trees competing for room in the forest. It's a great metaphor that captures the struggle for growth and existence in the natural world.

As we delve deeper into the poem, the imagery of "Arms entwined, now breaking free" suggests a sense of liberation or perhaps a conflict among these ancient trees. This moment of struggle adds a layer of tension to the poem, and it's a wonderful example of how you've used your words to convey a narrative within this Sedoka form.

Moving on to the second stanza, the line "Singing, sighing wind" is a beautiful personification of nature. The wind becomes a living entity, vocalizing its presence. It evokes a sense of nature's constant communication, a dialogue with the ancient forest. The "Rustling whispers high above" further strengthens this idea, as if the forest is sharing its secrets with the sky.

The phrase "Ancient voices murmuring" is particularly compelling. It's a strong example of alliteration, which adds a musical quality to the poem. The notion of "ancient voices" lends a mysterious and mystical element to the work, making it feel like we are eavesdropping on a conversation that has been ongoing for centuries.

In terms of structure, your Sedoka is well-crafted, with each stanza complementing the other. The three-line format is consistent, and the transition between the stanzas flows seamlessly.

If I may offer a suggestion, consider getting even deeper into the emotions and experiences of the trees in the forest. How do they feel, and what are they trying to convey to us? Providing more insight into their perspective could add an extra layer of depth to this already engaging poem.

Overall, "The Old Wood" is a beautifully crafted Sedoka that captures the essence of a forest with elegance and precision. Your use of imagery and poetic devices creates a rich and immersive experience for the reader.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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110
110
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Again Deb,

I've had the pleasure of reading your Sedoka poem, "Vernal Equinox Is Nigh," and I'm delighted to provide you with some feedback on various aspects, including style, theme, form, poetic devices, and more.

Your choice of title, "Vernal Equinox Is Nigh," immediately hints at a theme related to the changing of seasons, which is a classic and evocative subject in poetry. The vernal equinox represents a transition from winter to spring, and you've captured this theme effectively. It's a theme that resonates with many readers, as it symbolizes renewal and rebirth.

Stylistically, your poem adheres to the traditional Sedoka form with two three-line stanzas. This form encourages a concise and focused expression of your ideas. In your poem, the first stanza paints a vivid picture of winter's retreat. The line "Black snow and debris retreat" vividly describes the fading remnants of winter, and the phrase "Crouching piles scowl in shadows" adds a touch of personification to the image.

The second stanza beautifully embodies the spirit of spring. The phrase "Lean toward life-giving sunlight" is a wonderful example of personification, as it suggests an eager anticipation in the natural world for the return of warmth and light. Your use of enjambment, where a thought flows from one line to the next without a pause, in "Lean toward life-giving sunlight" creates a sense of urgency and momentum, which mirrors the awakening of nature.

In the final line, "and praise even the Spring rains," you introduce an interesting twist. It's an insightful touch to express gratitude not just for the sunlight but also for the spring rains. This showcases a positive perspective on the changing seasons, reminding the reader of the benefits that even rain can bring, such as nourishing the earth.

While your Sedoka captures the essence of the vernal equinox with elegance and precision, you might consider further elaborating on the emotional and sensory aspects of this transition. How does the promise of spring make you feel, or what scents and sounds accompany this change? Adding such details can create a more immersive experience for the reader.

In terms of structure, your poem maintains a consistent and effective Sedoka form. Each stanza consists of three lines, and the transition between the stanzas is well-executed. However, you have the flexibility to experiment with variations in line length or rhyme scheme to infuse additional depth into your work. Even if considering these thoughts for a future poem.

"Vernal Equinox Is Nigh" is certainly charming and beautifully encapsulates the shift from winter to spring. Your use of personification and imagery enhances the poem's appeal, and I encourage you to continue exploring the emotional and sensory aspects of the changing seasons to deepen your connection with readers. Hope this finds you well.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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111
111
Review of God's Creation  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Mary Ann,

"God's Creation," presented as a triple sonnet, unfolds with a serene reflection on nature, prayer, and the divine. The poem's style is characterized by its simplicity and earnestness, reflecting a contemplative tone that aligns seamlessly with the theme of finding solace in the beauty of God's creation. The language used, such as "a splash of orangey applies" and "a slight rustle from the trees," contributes to a vivid and sensory-rich portrayal of the evening scene.

Thematically, the poem explores the notion of peace and divine connection within the tranquility of nature. The choice to focus on the end of the day, a time often associated with reflection and stillness, reinforces the idea of finding solace in the midst of life's busyness. The recurring motif of peace, emphasized through phrases like "perfect peace is found," anchors the poem's emotional core, inviting readers to share in the speaker's contemplative experience.

The form of a triple sonnet is noteworthy, as it allows for a structured yet expansive exploration of the theme. The poem unfolds in three distinct parts, each contributing to the overall narrative. This structure provides a sense of progression, mirroring the stages of the day described in the verses. For instance, the transition from "a splash of orangey applies" to "darkness begins to fall" marks a natural shift, guiding the reader through the changing landscape of the evening.

Poetic devices are subtly woven into the fabric of the poem, enhancing its emotive impact. The use of consonance in "cricket sing in his familiar sound" creates a melodic quality, echoing the gentle sounds of nature. Additionally, the alliteration in "God's wonderful creation" adds a rhythmic cadence, emphasizing the awe and reverence felt by the speaker. These devices contribute to the overall musicality of the poem, enhancing its auditory and emotional resonance.

In terms of suggestions, consider expanding on the sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene. Explore vivid imagery and metaphors to evoke a deeper connection between the natural world and the divine. For instance, elaborating on the colors of the sunset or delving into the symbolic significance of the birds' song could enrich the sensory experience for the reader.

It was a pleasant experience reading and reflecting on your poetry.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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112
112
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Vanishing Vapor ,

Your tanka "Drifting Clouds" is captivating and introspective, delving into the ever-changing nature of clouds and metaphors they represent in our lives. I want to explore the poem’s style, theme, form, poetic devices, and notable elements, along with suggestions to possibly further refine.

Introspection:
"Drifting Clouds" opens with a contemplative observation of clouds, describing them as they "transform ashen grins." This immediately engages the reader's imagination, inviting one to visualize the fluidity and transience of clouds as they take on various forms, from "dragons" to "beasts and men." The poem then delves into the philosophical, suggesting clouds drift "between regret and worry." This transition from a natural observation to a deeper reflection on human emotions is thought-provoking.

Style and Theme:
The tanka, with its form, provides a structured but flexible format for exploring complex themes and emotions. "Drifting Clouds" centers on the theme of change and transformation. It conveys the idea that just as clouds constantly shift and morph, so do our emotions, sometimes taking on the shapes of our regrets and worries. The poem emphasizes the fluidity of life, where moments of regret and worry flow in and out, much like clouds in the sky.

Poetic Devices:
This tanka skillfully uses metaphor and personification to convey message. The clouds are personified as from “ashen grins into dragons, beasts, and men." This humanizes the clouds, allowing a reader to relate. The clouds serve as metaphors for the ever-changing nature of life and emotions, which is a powerful and relatable concept.

Examples and Suggestions:
To enrich the tanka further, you might consider incorporating more sensory details to evoke a stronger emotional response from the reader. Describe the colors, shapes, and movements of the clouds in a way that mirrors the shifting emotions and thoughts of the human experience. For instance, you might use vivid imagery to depict how a stormy cloud represents worry and a serene cloud symbolizes contentment.

Exploring symbolism or allegory could also add depth. You can draw parallels between the drifting clouds and specific aspects of life or the human condition, making the message more resonant. For example, you might liken the transformation of clouds to the growth and evolution of individuals over time.

I found a contemplative and evocative tanka that skillfully captures the ever-changing nature of both the natural world and human emotions. The use of metaphor and personification is effective in conveying the message. I was pleased to have read and given an opportunity to lend my thoughts.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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113
113
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sorji,

The collection of haikus in "The Year In Haikus" offers an unconventional twist on the traditional form by disregarding the syllable count, allowing a more creative and flexible approach to this genre. I'd like to explore the style, theme, form, poetic devices, and notable aspects of this collection.

Introspection:
You’ve present a unique and non-traditional approach, embracing freedom from the strict syllable count. The first haiku, "Fire burns a log to ash," immediately captures the transitory and transformative nature of fire. The phrase "A blank page—Mocking a full inkwell" introduces a meta-poetic commentary on creativity and unpredictability of inspiration. Each haiku conveys distinct moods and scenarios, resulting in a dynamic and thought-provoking collection.

Style and Theme:
The unconventional approach is evident and allows for a bold departure from the structure. It empowers you to explore themes of transformation, life and death, cycles, and contrasts in a more flexible and evocative manner, transcending the form restrictions. The collection appears to revolve around the duality and cyclicality of life, where moments of creation and destruction, beauty and decay, are intricately intertwined.

Poetic Devices:
These haikus employed various poetic devices effectively. The first, the use of metaphor is prominent as it portrays the blank page as "Mocking a full inkwell," endowing the page with a personified quality that taunts. In the second haiku, "A chilling touch" and "Death on display" are instances of vivid and imagery, conjuring strong and evocative visuals. The third haiku effectively uses repetition, underscoring the cyclical nature of life. The final juxtaposes contrasting elements with "Sweet ice" and "hot asphalt," creating a sensory and emotional contrast.

Examples and Suggestions:
The absence of a rigid syllable count in these haikus grants creative freedom and room for experimentation. However, it is vital to maintain the brevity and clarity of the traditional, ensuring each haiku conveys a complete thought or image within its allotted space.

With the freedom to deviate, there is room for further elaboration on the themes introduced in each haiku. Exploring these themes in greater depth can enrich emotional impact. Consider employing punctuation or line breaks strategically to guide the reader's pace and interpretation.

This collection boldly embraces an unconventional approach to haiku, relinquishing the constraints of syllable counts while retaining the essence of the form. The haikus effectively convey thought-provoking themes and emotions. I found it a refreshing and inspiring approach to the Japanese form.

Sincerely,

Brian
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114
114
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jamison,

The haiku you've presented, "a fawn's day," is a concise and evocative piece that captures a brief moment in nature. In three opening paragraphs, I'll delve into various aspects of this poem.

Introspection:
The haiku opens with "a fawn's day," which immediately sets the scene in the reader's mind. This opening line suggests the focus on a fawn's day, inviting readers to enter the world of this young deer. It conveys a sense of innocence and vulnerability.

Style and Theme:
The haiku follows the traditional 5-7-5 syllable structure, which is common in Japanese poetry. This structure is brief and effective, allowing the poet to capture a fleeting moment. The theme of this haiku appears to be the delicate balance of life and death in nature. The fawn, a symbol of youth and fragility, is juxtaposed with the "anxious hawk" and the sound of a "twig cracking." This creates a tension in the poem, highlighting the precariousness of the fawn's existence.

Poetic Devices:
The use of personification in "anxious hawk" is noteworthy. It assigns human emotions to the hawk, which adds depth to the poem. The hawk becomes a symbol of danger and potential threat to the fawn's life.

Examples and Suggestions:
To enhance the poem, you might consider adding more sensory details. For instance, describing the setting, the fawn's surroundings, or the quality of light could provide a richer and more immersive experience for the reader. Also, consider the use of metaphor or simile to draw subtle comparisons between elements in the haiku, which can add layers of meaning.

In conclusion, "a fawn's day" is a beautifully succinct haiku that captures a moment of vulnerability in nature. It successfully follows the traditional form while conveying a powerful theme. With some additional sensory details and subtle comparisons, it could be even more evocative. It was a pleasure to consume and offer this feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
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115
Review of Dawn and...  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello aschatria ,

I spent some time analyzing the song lyrics you shared, and I'd like to offer my thoughts on them.

Your lyrics immediately draw the reader into a state of introspection with their enigmatic and poetic language. The opening lines, "You seduced me with desolation in the gray sea," evoke a sense of melancholy and intrigue. This desolation, contrasted with the idea of being seduced, sets a tone of complexity and emotional depth. The use of the word "gray" to describe the sea adds a layer of uncertainty and ambiguity, as gray often represents neutrality or ambiguity.

The style of the lyrics is rich in vivid imagery and metaphors, which contribute to the overall theme of the song. The theme appears to revolve around a tumultuous relationship or encounter, one filled with contradictions and intense emotions. The line, "Fused surrendered, handled away," encapsulates the idea of being both fused and surrendered, suggesting a complicated, emotionally charged dynamic. This theme of emotional intensity and entanglement is carried throughout the lyrics.

In terms of form, the lyrics are structured in short, concise stanzas, which add to the enigmatic and almost fragmented feel of the song. This form mirrors the complexity of the emotions being conveyed, with each stanza offering a different facet of the narrative. The brevity of each line and stanza allows the reader to pause and reflect on the significance of the words and their placement.

Musical devices are subtly interwoven throughout the lyrics. The repetition of the phrase "Eyes like yours I have never seen" serves as a lyrical refrain, emphasizing the uniqueness of the other person's eyes and their impact on the speaker. This repetition can create a melodic quality when set to music, reinforcing the theme and emotions of the song.

While the lyrics are undoubtedly evocative and rich in imagery, a suggestion for improvement could be to provide a bit more context or narrative progression. This could help listeners connect more deeply with the story or emotions being conveyed. For example, expanding on the circumstances or events that led to the described emotions would add depth and engagement.

To conclude, "Dawn and…" presents a captivating and introspective exploration of intense emotions and complicated relationships. The lyrical style, rich imagery, and thematic complexity make it an intriguing piece. With some added context or narrative progression, the lyrics have the potential to become even more emotionally resonant when set to music. It was a pleasure to read and consider for feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Powerless  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Kaity,

I've had the privilege of encountering your poem "Powerless," and I'd like to share my reactions to it.

In the opening lines, you create an atmosphere of introspection and anticipation with the phrase "I sit and wait." This sense of waiting is beautifully juxtaposed with the image of darkness slowly consuming, which sets a mysterious and foreboding tone. Your choice of words effectively conveys a feeling of powerlessness, making a reader empathize with the speaker's emotions.

The poem's style is concise, with short, impactful lines. This adds to the overall intensity of the piece, keeping the reader engaged throughout. Your use of enjambment, such as in "Slowly it'll consume me," enhances the flow and rhythm, allowing the reader to experience the speaker's gradual descent into darkness.

The theme of powerlessness is central to the poem, and you explore it skillfully. The contrast between "Your sophomoric actions" and "The spontaneous hatred" paints a vivid picture of emotional turmoil and vulnerability. The reference to a knife that releases pain adds a tangible, visceral quality to the poem, evoking a sense of danger and harm.

The use of poetic devices is noteworthy. The repetition of "I'm not omnipotent" emphasizes the speaker's lack of control, reinforcing the theme. The word "limpid" stands out as it contrasts with the darkness, symbolizing clarity or purity amidst chaos.

As for suggestions, you might consider expanding on the emotions behind the powerlessness. Providing a bit more context or delving into the reasons for this feeling could further engage the reader. For example, you could explore the origins of the darkness and its impact on the speaker's life.

Overall, "Powerless" is a thought-provoking and evocative poem that effectively conveys the theme of powerlessness through its style, form, and well-chosen poetic devices. Keep up the excellent work.

Sincerely,

Brian
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117
117
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Scotty1615 ,

I've had the pleasure of contemplating your haiku poem "BLUE MOON," and I'd like to share my thoughts on it.

Your haiku opens with a sense of introspection as it invites the reader to gaze upon the night sky. The first line, "Night envelops sky," sets the scene and encapsulates the tranquility of a moonlit night. The image of the night sky wrapping around the world creates a feeling of unity and calm. It's a powerful visual that immediately engages the reader's imagination.

The style of your haiku is succinct and adheres to the traditional 5-7-5 syllable structure. This brevity and adherence to syllabic constraints create a sense of focused simplicity. It allows for a moment of reflection and contemplation in just a few words, which is a fundamental aspect of haiku.

The theme of your poem revolves around the moon and its impact on human emotions. The line "Blue moon bright enough to wake" alludes to the rare occurrence of a blue moon, which symbolizes rarity and uniqueness. It also hints at the moon's influence, as it's bright enough to awaken something within us. The subsequent line, "our souls mourn on earth," carries a sense of melancholy, suggesting that even in the moon's beauty, there's a connection to the human experience of longing and sorrow.

In terms of poetic devices, your haiku is notable for its use of imagery and personification. The moon is described as "bright enough to wake," imbuing it with almost human qualities, or supernatural, as if it can stir emotions or memories. This personification adds depth to the haiku and enriches the theme of the moon's influence on our souls.

One suggestion for further enhancement could be to explore the emotions or memories the moon awakens in more detail. For example, you could provide a specific image or feeling associated with the moon's brightness, allowing the reader to connect with the haiku on a more personal and emotional level.

I note that "BLUE MOON" is a beautifully crafted haiku capturing the essence of a moonlit night and the emotional resonance of the moon. Its adherence to traditional haiku form and its evocative imagery make it a contemplative and engaging piece. Exploring the emotions the moon awakens could add depth and emotional resonance. A pleasure to encounter your words.

Sincerely,

Brian
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118
118
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Happy WDC Account Anniversary Nicola, *BalloonV*

I explored your portfolio to find "A Healing Of Souls", a poem that invites readers into a contemplative exploration of the complexities and limitations inherent in attempting to heal the troubles of the human soul. The style of this poem is characterized by a profound introspection conveyed through a rich, poetic language. The speaker grapples with their own struggles and vulnerabilities, creating a raw and authentic narrative. The use of metaphorical imagery, such as the entangled soul described as "strangled in withered branches," adds a vivid layer to the exploration of inner turmoil.

The overarching theme revolves around the challenges of offering solace to others when one's own soul is ensnared in the web of personal difficulties. This theme resonates universally, tapping into the shared human experience of navigating inner turmoil while extending a helping hand to others. The repetition of the refrain "Heal man’s troubled soul? / I fear I can do no such thing" serves as a powerful anchor, underscoring the speaker's acknowledgment of their limitations. To further enrich the thematic exploration, consider delving into specific examples or experiences that have shaped the speaker's perspective on the healing of souls.

The form of the poem contributes to the contemplative mood, with the use of questions and reflections guiding the reader through the speaker's internal dialogue. The fragmented structure mirrors the speaker's wavering emotions and the complex nature of the soul's struggles. While this form effectively conveys the internal conflict, you might consider experimenting with varied line lengths or stanza breaks to introduce moments of pause or emphasis within the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor, repetition, and alliteration, are employed skillfully throughout. The repetition of the phrase "I fear I can do no such thing" emphasizes the speaker's sense of inadequacy, creating a rhythmic cadence that echoes the internal conflict. The metaphor of the painted mask is particularly striking, symbolizing the external facade that conceals the inner turmoil. Exploring additional metaphorical devices or incorporating symbolism could deepen the layers of meaning, providing readers with a more immersive experience.

The dedication at the end adds a personal touch, offering insight into the inspiration behind the poem. To further connect with the reader, integrating elements of this dedication within the body of the poem could help. Sharing glimpses of the speaker's relationship with Alfred or weaving in specific moments of inspiration could enhance the emotional resonance and provide readers with a more intimate understanding of the narrative.

"A Healing Of Souls" is a thought-provoking exploration of the complexities involved in offering solace while grappling with personal struggles. It was a pleasure to acknowledge your writing this month, to read and acknowledge your work during your anniversary with WDC.

Sincerely,

Brian
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119
119
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Happy WDC Account Anniversary IceSkatingSugarCube , *BalloonP*

"Spring Wind On Chubby Skin" unfolds as a jubilant celebration of the arrival of spring and the rejuvenating power it holds. The poem's style is marked by its vibrant and uplifting language, creating a vivid portrayal of the speaker's experience. The choice of words like "fierce winds of March," "laughter," and "fragrant grass" immediately sets a lively tone, drawing the reader into the atmosphere of renewal. The conversational tone enhances the accessibility of the poem, making it relatable to those who savor the transformative energy of spring.

The overarching theme centers on the liberation and joy that spring brings, serving as a metaphorical cleansing of the speaker's spirit. The imagery of the winds chasing away the "pale, winter boogeymen" captures the invigorating essence of the changing season. The theme of shedding winter's weight, both physically and metaphorically, is palpable throughout the poem. To enhance the thematic exploration, consider delving into specific experiences or sensory details that embody the speaker's newfound sense of freedom and self-acceptance.

The form of the poem complements its thematic content, with short and brisk lines contributing to the poem's sense of movement and energy. The structure effectively mirrors the brisk winds of March and the dynamic shift from the gloom of winter to the vibrancy of spring. While the poem's brevity enhances its impact, experimenting with varied line lengths or subtle pauses could introduce moments of reflection or emphasize key aspects of the narrative.

Poetic devices, such as vivid imagery and metaphor, are employed skillfully throughout the poem. The description of depression being "swept up like cobwebs" and discarded alongside remnants of winter is particularly evocative. The metaphorical shedding of winter skin serves as a powerful symbol of casting off societal expectations and embracing one's authentic self. To further enrich the poem, consider exploring additional metaphors or symbolism that capture the essence of the speaker's liberation.

As we approach the conclusion, the declaration of being "gloriously, happily, Me" serves as a triumphant affirmation of self-acceptance. This moment encapsulates the core message of the poem and could be further emphasized by incorporating a subtle repetition or rhythmic variation. For example, repeating the word "Me" in a rhythmic pattern could underscore the speaker's reclaiming of their identity.

In essence, "Spring Wind On Chubby Skin" is a spirited ode to the transformative power of spring and self-acceptance. Great emotional resonance with this joyous and empowering piece.

Sincerely,

Brian
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120
Review of Season's Lament  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*BalloonB* Happy WDC Account Anniversary Richard, *BalloonR*

I snuck in to review something much shorter this time. Though, I will be back for more fiction one day.

In "Season’s Lament," the stark simplicity of the verses strikes a chord, evoking a sense of nostalgia and the passage of time. The opening lines draw readers into a wintry scene, setting the stage for introspection. The choice of straightforward language aligns with the theme of aging, emphasizing the harshness of weather as a metaphor for life's challenges. The poem captures a universal experience of growing older, where once-beloved elements become burdensome.

The poem's style is characterized by its brevity, creating a succinct yet impactful narrative. Each line serves a purpose, contributing to the overall tone of resignation and reflection. The use of rhyme, particularly in the second and fourth lines of each stanza, adds a musical quality, enhancing the poem's flow. However, consider experimenting with varied rhyme schemes to add dynamic and surprise to the reading experience. For example, alternating rhymes or an occasional internal rhyme could infuse the poem with a fresh rhythm. I like to read aloud to get this feel, sometimes as if a poetry reading, imagining an audience. It’s surprising that thinking how others might react can help find the right sets of words for lyrical tonality…if that made sense.

The winter theme centers around the inevitability of change and the acceptance of life's demands. The contrast between the speaker's past fondness for the cold weather and the current struggle with chores paints a vivid picture of the transformation over time. To deepen a thematic exploration in a situation like this, consider incorporating more sensory details to amplify the emotional impact. Describe the biting cold or the weight of responsibilities to engage the reader's senses and emotions more fully. I sometimes like nature personified, since I’m already talking to everything around all the time. *FacePalm*

Poetic devices such as metaphors and symbolism are subtly employed, with the weather symbolizing the challenges and burdens of life. Strengthen these elements by introducing more vivid and original metaphors. For instance, compare life's demands to an unyielding blizzard or the tasks at hand to icicles forming on the edge of time. This will elevate the metaphorical richness of the poem, providing readers with a deeper layer of interpretation. If icicles are hanging/forming on the edges of your house, consider a new roof or. Enter insulation. *FaceMask*

Your poem effectively communicates the complex emotions tied to aging and the changing seasons. Experimenting with poetic devices and other rhyme schemes can be a good thing. You can further enhance the impact of your work with practice. Embrace the challenge of poetry, for it has allowed you to convey a poignant reflection on the inevitable march of time. Have a great Anniversary month in these halls. I’ll see you around.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Duper Reviewer

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P.S. My hand is still healing. Long story to share another time. *RollEyes*


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121
121
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*BalloonY*  Happy WDC Account Anniversary Teguettler ,  *BalloonB*

"How I Met A Dragon Lady" is a delightful tale blending elements of romance, fantasy, and self-discovery. The narrative successfully captures the essence of a budding connection between the protagonist and Victoria, adding a unique twist with the revelation of her true nature.

The opening paragraphs effectively draw the reader into the protagonist's perspective, setting the stage for a romantic encounter. The vivid descriptions of Victoria create a compelling image, allowing readers to visualize her charm and the protagonist's infatuation. The use of sensory details, such as the taste of lunch and the touch of a hug, enhances the immersive experience.

The story beautifully explores the theme of embracing one's uniqueness and finding beauty in unexpected places. The revelation of Victoria's true identity as a dragon adds a magical and fantastical element to the narrative. The blending of the ordinary with the extraordinary adds a layer of intrigue, keeping the reader engaged.

The pacing of the story is well-maintained, allowing for a gradual buildup of tension and excitement. The lunch scene is a highlight, showcasing the contrast between the ordinary act of dining and the extraordinary nature of Victoria. The dialogue flows naturally, capturing the characters' personalities and the evolving dynamics between them.

The resolution offers a sense of wonder and anticipation, leaving room for future encounters between the protagonist and the dragon lady. The protagonist's newfound confidence and acceptance of the fantastical elements contribute to a satisfying conclusion. The text message exchange at the end adds a playful touch, leaving the reader curious about the characters' future interactions.

While the story is engaging and well-executed, there is an opportunity to delve deeper into the protagonist's internal conflict or emotional journey. Consider exploring how the realization of Victoria's true nature impacts the protagonist on a deeper level. It is assumed it might go through some progressions to get to final acceptance. Additionally, you might explore the potential challenges or conflicts that could arise from this newfound connection.

I found a story that successfully combines elements of romance and fantasy, offering an imaginative and enchanting narrative. Strengthening the emotional depth and exploring the characters' internal struggles could further enhance the impact of your story. Have a great anniversary month at WDC.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Tower Reviewer
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122
122
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*BalloonO* Happy WDC Account Anniversary Wilderness Dude , *BalloonY*

"Forgetting Things I Can’t Remember" offers a poignant glimpse into the struggles of memory and the complexities of moving forward after loss. The poem's style is notably straightforward, mirroring the directness of the emotions expressed. The use of short, concise lines and a simple language adds a raw authenticity to the narrative, allowing readers to empathize with the speaker's internal turmoil.

The theme of forgetfulness, both literal and metaphorical, serves as the backbone of the poem. The repetition of "forgetter" emphasizes the speaker's struggle with memory, highlighting the irony in forgetting things that should be remembered. This theme resonates universally, tapping into the shared human experience of grappling with the passage of time and the challenges it brings. You could also consider expanding on the emotional nuances of forgetfulness, exploring how memory lapses intersect with the speaker's grief and the process of rebuilding.

The form of the poem is inherently reflective of its thematic content. The use of short lines and stanzas contributes to the fragmented nature of memory, echoing the scattered thoughts and experiences described. However, there is room for experimentation with form to enhance the poem's visual impact. You might try varying line lengths or incorporating strategic pauses to emphasize moments of reflection or realization within the narrative. For this, or any poem you’re set to craft.

Poetic devices, particularly repetition and the strategic use of enjambment, play a significant role in the poem. The repetition of "I forget" and "to remember" creates a rhythmic cadence, mirroring the cyclical nature of the speaker's struggle. Additionally, the enjambment between "Then I forget" and "To look at it" propels the narrative forward, underscoring the inevitability of missed opportunities. Exploring metaphorical devices, such as symbolism or extended metaphors, could add layers also, providing readers with additional points of connection and reflection.

As we navigate the latter part of the poem, the speaker's plea for help and a reference to their late wife introduce a poignant layer of emotion. This offers a potential avenue for further exploration. Could you delve deeper into the impact of the speaker's loss on their sense of self and daily life? Elaborating on specific memories or routines shared with the late wife could add a more personalized dimension to the narrative that people can respond to.

In conclusion, "Forgetting Things I Can’t Remember" is a heartfelt exploration of memory, grief, and the quest for stability in the face of loss. The exploration of your poem's resonance and visual impact can only get better. A pleasure, and again, Happy Account Anniversary.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Storm  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*BalloonR*Happy Account Anniversary Review Poppy, *BalloonB*

Eighteen years at Writing.Com deserves at least a review.

As I immerse myself in the brevity of your poem "Storm," the opening lines evoke a vivid image of a carefree soul engaged in a dance of joy. The simplicity of your language lends itself to the poem's impact, allowing readers to envision the ecstasy of the moment. The rhythmic progression from "She danced" to "With her head thrown back" creates a visual and emotional crescendo, echoing the exuberance of the scene.

Your choice of the natural element, rain, as the backdrop for this dance introduces a sensory layer, amplifying the emotional intensity. The rain, often symbolizing renewal and cleansing, adds depth to the theme of embracing love amidst life's tempests. You might be able to explore even further with connections between the dancer's emotions and the surrounding elements to enhance this elemental metaphor into a more profound moment.

The brevity of this also prompts contemplation on potential expansion. Could you delve into the origins of the storm of love within her heart? Unveiling the source or exploring the aftermath might provide a richer narrative. Additionally, incorporating subtle metaphors or extended symbolism could elevate the poem's complexity, inviting readers to unravel layers of meaning.

The poem's form is concise and effective, yet experimenting with structure might enhance its impact. Consider playing with line breaks or adopting a specific poetic form to experiment with pacing and emphasis. For instance, breaking the lines differently could create a more dynamic flow, emphasizing the rhythm of the dance.

In terms of poetic devices, the repetition of the 's' sound in "She danced" and "storm of love" creates a sonic harmony, enhancing the musicality of the poem. Exploring other sonic devices or incorporating alliteration could further enrich the auditory experience.

In conclusion, "Storm" captures a poignant moment with elegance and joy. If expanded, ample opportunity abounds here to explore and experiment with so many poetic elements to further elevate this piece, inviting readers into a deeper emotional landscape that you've crafted. A pleasure and Happy Anniversary!

Sincerely,

Brian
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124
124
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*BalloonG* Happy WDC Account Anniversary hobnobkitkat , *BalloonV*

Upon delving into the seasonal poem "First Frost in Texas," I found myself captivated by its unique exploration of the clash between traditional seasonal expectations and the unpredictable nature of Texan weather.

The opening lines, echoing Keats with "Season of mist and mellow fruitfulness," immediately establish a poetic connection to the familiar while paving the way for the unexpected. The juxtaposition of "Misty mornings" and "Frozen fingers" brilliantly encapsulates the abrupt transitions in Texas weather, forging a thematic tension that sustains throughout the poem.

The form of the poem, with its concise yet vivid descriptions, mirrors the fleeting essence of Texas seasons. The abrupt shift from "One day summer dresses" to "frozen fingers" mirrors the sudden changes Texans experience, creating a rhythmic dance that mirrors the unpredictable cadence of nature.

The poet skillfully employs personification with the leaves' dilemma: "Do we fall or not?" This choice imbues the natural elements with human-like confusion, adding a layer of whimsy to the poem. The metaphor of leaves falling "like children late for school" paints a vivid picture and injects a playful tone, effectively conveying the disorderly nature of Texan autumn.

However, the poem's brevity leaves room for expansion. Consider delving deeper into specific sensory details, perhaps exploring the scent of the frost or the crisp sound of leaves underfoot. This could further immerse readers in the Texan autumn experience, enhancing the overall impact. A pleasure to review you during your special month at WDC.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Foiling An Ambush  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello once more Just Jae ,

In "Foiling An Ambush," this Everine installment maintains a brisk pace and introduces a suspenseful scenario that helps keep a reader engaged. The hook is well-executed here, as the trio has discovered the fresh footprints leading to Geordo's campsite, creating intrigue with an immediate sense of tension and impending danger. The theme of teamwork and strategic planning has become prominent in your building story, adding depth to the narrative.

The division of roles and the subsequent execution of the plan provides a clear structure to this scene. Skrie's role as a scout and the coordination between Malusk, Theren, and the halfling continues to establish a sense of camaraderie and expertise. This teamwork aspect contributes well to the theme (story strength) and reinforces the idea that overcoming challenges requires collaboration.

The action sequences, particularly Skrie's engagement with the crossbowman, are vividly depicted for me. The use of descriptive language, such as "she shot the man before her, hitting him in the back of his leg," creates a cinematic quality. This is something to continue leveraging with descriptive elements that readers can connect to, like the physicality of their combat, and exploring those worthwhile sensory details like sounds, smells, and the adrenaline rush felt.

The resolution of the ambush, involving divine intervention and a bolt of holy light, adds a mystical element to your story. This introduces the fantasy aspect much more prominently and showcases Skrie's cleric abilities. If you should get into this deeper, suggest you consider Skrie's internal thoughts or emotions during these moments to enhance the connection between the character and the reader.

The dialogue is well-crafted, maintaining a natural flow and distinctive voices for each of your characters. The exchange between Skrie, Malusk, and Theren is both engaging and humorous, providing moments of levity amidst the tension. As the narrative progresses, I suggest consider exploring the characters' internal reflections or reactions to further develop their personalities and relationships.

In conclusion, and to this point in Everine, "Foiling An Ambush" effectively delivers an action-packed and teamwork-oriented installment. Expanding on character emotions and sensory details could further elevate the experience being delivered here. It’s been a pleasure to read and react to the early stages of your story.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer
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