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True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
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Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
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Public Reviews
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Review of Narrow Escape  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again Just Jae ,

This part of Everine provides a tense and dynamic moment, introducing a narrow escape for Skrie. The hook is effectively established here with the immediate threat posed by Illeryl and his determination to retrieve the ring. The tension is palpable as Skrie finds herself in a perilous situation.

The theme of evasion and survival is prominent in this interval, showcasing Skrie's resourcefulness in the face of danger. The river escape adds a layer of excitement and uncertainty, contributing to the overall suspense. By further exploring Skrie's thoughts and emotions during this escape, you can provide the reader with a deeper connection to her character.

The story elements involving Illeryl's pursuit and Skrie's clever use of divine light create a dynamic sequence. The action is well-paced here, and the river escape adds variety to your narrative. To enhance the impact, further incorporating sensory details to evoke the cold water, the sound of the rushing river, or the feel of the forest around Skrie can help put a reader there.

The ending leaves room for anticipation, with Illeryl continuing his search and Skrie finding temporary refuge in a sturdy oak. This conclusion maintains the reader's interest, creating curiosity about Skrie's next move and Illeryl's persistence. To further engage your reading audience, consider adding a subtle hint or foreshadowing element at this stage that teases the next development in the plot.

While the interval effectively captures the urgency of Skrie's escape, you could explore her internal reflections on the situation. Further imparting her thoughts, fears, or motivations might add some depth to her character and enhance the connection to the Everine narrative.

I feel that this installment successfully delivers a thrilling escape sequence, showcasing Skrie's resilience. Exploring Skrie's internal landscape and adding sensory details could further enrich the ongoing narrative, providing a more immersive reading experience. I’m going to skip ahead a bit further from here.

Sincerely,

Brian
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127
Review of The Ring  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Just Jae ,

"The Ring" is a concise and engaging installment for Everine, featuring a well-executed hook that draws the reader into a tense situation. The atmosphere is effectively set with the scent of wood smoke and the companions' stealthy approach to the clearing. The use of Skrie's perspective adds an element of mystery and anticipation.

The theme of magic and the potential dangers associated with it is evident in the confrontation between Karl and the mysterious woman. The introduction of magical elements enhances the story's fantasy aspect and adds layers to the plot. Expanding on the consequences or risks of magic in this world could deepen the thematic exploration.

The ending provides a moment of suspense, leaving the reader curious about Skrie's next move and the outcome of the encounter. The use of a cliffhanger is effective in keeping the audience invested. To further enhance this, consider amplifying the stakes or revealing additional information that intensifies the reader's interest. As an example, introduce a revelation about the ring's significance or the motives behind the confrontation.

The dialogue is crisp and serves this scene very well, capturing the tension between these characters. Skrie's quick thinking and decision to conceal the ring has added further intrigue to the plot. If you keep leveraging these character traits, it can maintain the intrigue of the narrative's momentum and complexity.

While the narrative is generally well-paced, it might be possible to add a bit more description to immerse readers into these depicted surroundings. You can explore and employ some sensory details beyond the wood smoke, such as the sounds of the forest or the feel of the cool breeze. This can enhance the atmosphere portrayed and provide a more vivid and immersive reading experience.

Theren's disappearance is a noteworthy element that adds an additional layer of mystery. If you consider exploring his actions during this moment and the reasons for his concealment, it should add to your story. Offering glimpses into his thoughts and motives can contribute to the overall character development.

“The Ring" effectively builds tension, introduces magical elements, and leaves this reader eager for the next part of your ongoing story’s offering. It seems to me, exploring the consequences of magic and getting deeper into character motivations could further enrich the narrative. To here, this is still humming along.

Sincerely,

Brian
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128
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again Just Jae ,

"Tracking the Trackers" has presented me with an engaging continuation of Everine, maintaining a solid narrative flow. The hook is effective, which draws a reader into the urgency of Geordo's plea and the introduction of new characters, adding layers to the story. The theme of family and the lengths one would go to protect their kin remains poignant and well-executed.

The character dynamics, particularly the interaction between Skrie and Malusk, continue to be a highlight. Their banter adds humor and depth to the narrative, making the story more relatable and enjoyable. The introduction of Theren Liadon, the mage, introduces a new dynamic to the group. I would like to see the further exploration of the relationships between these characters, providing insights into their individual motivations and how they adapt to working together.

The plot progression maintains a brisk pace, keeping the reader engaged in the search for Aquila. The addition of the hired hunters, Jabe and Karl Yarro, introduces a potential conflict that adds intrigue to the storyline. The decision to pose as guards to discreetly follow the hunters is a clever narrative choice, allowing for suspenseful moments and showcasing the characters' resourcefulness.

Geordo's revelation about the hired hunters heading into town rather than searching for Aquila adds a layer of mystery and urgency. This twist keeps the plot dynamic and sets the stage for a potential confrontation. By leveraging such plot twists, you can maintain the element of surprise and excitement in the building narrative.

The dialogue is well-crafted and serves the characters effectively. Skrie's quick thinking and decisive actions contribute to the narrative's momentum. However, delving deeper into the emotions and thoughts of the characters during crucial moments might help enhance the reader's connection with them. For instance, explore Skrie's feelings about taking on this new quest and her responsibility to protect Aquila.

The scene where Skrie eavesdrops on Jabe and Karl is skillfully executed, building tension and providing valuable information. The transition from dialogue to action is seamless, creating a balanced and engaging narrative. Continue incorporating such well-paced scenes to maintain the story's momentum.

I would consider exploring Theren's character more thoroughly. Provide glimpses into his background, motivations, and magical abilities. This can add depth to the group dynamic and create a more well-rounded ensemble cast.

Up to this, “Tracking the Trackers" is also a strong addition to Everine, maintaining a compelling plot, well-defined characters, and a good balance of humor and suspense. Exploring deeper character motivations, relationships, and Theren's background could further enhance the narrative.

Sincerely,

Brian
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129
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Just Jae ,

"Finding the Runaway" maintains the Everine series' momentum with a well-executed continuation of Skrie and Malusk's quest. The hook is efficiently crafted, drawing the reader into the unfolding action as the pair tracks Aquila and her companions. The clear progression from the previous installment creates a seamless transition, keeping the narrative engaging.

The theme of partnership and the odd yet effective duo of Skrie and Malusk continues to be a strength. Their interactions provide a steady and entertaining anchor to your story. The dynamic dialogue enhances the characters' personalities and contributes to the overall charm of the series. It’s worthwhile to consider exploring deeper nuances of their partnership and individual growth as the series progresses.

The confrontation scene is well-paced and effectively builds tension. The addition of Illeryl, Aquila, and Grubak introduces a layer of complexity to the plot, adding intrigue to the unfolding events. Skrie's use of divine abilities and Malusk's straightforward approach contribute to the diversity of skills within the group. Continue leveraging these distinct traits to enhance character dynamics.

The ending of "Finding the Runaway" provides a satisfying resolution to the immediate conflict while leaving room for future developments. Skrie's decision to let Aquila and her friends go, contingent on returning the stolen items, introduces a moral dilemma that adds depth to the narrative. This decision aligns well with the established characters and their motivations.

Consider exploring the internal conflicts of the characters, especially Skrie, in more detail. Diving deeper into their thoughts and emotions during critical moments can add layers to their personalities and strengthen the reader's connection with them. This could be particularly impactful during scenes where moral decisions are made.

The utilization of magical elements, such as Skrie's divine abilities and Aquila's spellcasting, adds a fantastical touch to the story. I recommend you continue integrating these elements thoughtfully to maintain a balanced and immersive fantasy setting. Additionally, providing more context or lore around the magical vials introduced in the previous installment could enhance the overall world-building.

In summary, this installment here successfully propels Everine forward, combining strong character dynamics, engaging dialogue, and a well-structured plot. Further exploration of character internal conflicts and the gradual unfolding of the series' magical elements could elevate your ongoing narrative.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Precious  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello once again Just Jae ,

In "Precious," you've crafted a compelling scenario with the introduction of Geordo and his plea for help, which effectively draws this reader into the unfolding narrative you have crafted. The hook here is strong, fueled by the mystery surrounding Geordo's "Precious" and the urgency in his plea. This sets the stage for an intriguing quest, adding layers of suspense and curiosity.

The theme of partnership and the odd yet effective duo of Skrie and Malusk continue to be a highlight. Their dynamic and the way they approach problems complement each other, contributing to the overall charm of the Everine series. The theme of trust and camaraderie resonates as they navigate through challenges together.

The dialogue is well-crafted, maintaining a natural flow and distinct voices for each character. Skrie's straightforward and inquisitive nature adds authenticity to her character, while Malusk's no-nonsense approach complements her. Continue leveraging dialogue to deepen character relationships and reveal more about their personalities.

The inclusion of Geordo's reluctance to share details about Aquila and the mysterious "Precious" adds a layer of intrigue to the narrative. It raises questions about the nature of their merchant activities and the potential significance of the stolen items. Expanding on these elements could further captivate the reader's interest and create a more intricate plot.

The pacing is generally steady, allowing room for character interactions and unfolding revelations. However, maybe you could consider tightening the narrative in some parts to maintain a sense of momentum, particularly during Geordo's hesitant revelations. Streamlining these moments could enhance the overall flow of the story.

The ending of "Precious" effectively sets the stage for the upcoming quest, establishing the terms of the agreement between Geordo and Skrie and Malusk. The introduction of the mysterious vials adds a fantastical element, creating anticipation about their potential significance. As the story progresses, perhaps it would be good to consider getting deeper into the origins or properties of these magical items to enhance the fantasy elements.

In conclusion, you’ve presented a promising continuation for Everine to this point, blending mystery, camaraderie, and fantasy elements. Further exploration of character backgrounds and the mysterious aspects of the quest could elevate this building narrative.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Arrivals  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again Just Jae ,

In "Arrivals," the next/first installment in Everine, you've presented an engaging introduction to the characters and the unfolding narrative. Skrie Tripfoot's entrance at the run-down keep immediately draws the reader's attention. The interaction between Skrie and the soldier, Malusk Agnar, establishes a dynamic and hints at the personalities of the characters.

The dialogue is a strength in this piece, providing insight into the characters' backgrounds and personalities. For example, the banter between Skrie and Malusk adds a layer of camaraderie and humor. Would suggest you continue leveraging dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations, fears, or hidden facets, making them even more three-dimensional.

The use of detail in describing the injuries and Skrie's method of healing adds a touch of authenticity to the scene. Consider expanding on the sensory elements to immerse the reader further — the smells of herbs, the feel of the broken arm, or the expressions on characters' faces. Little touches like these really hook a reader, round out a story just beginning.

The pacing in “Arrivals” is well-balanced, and the transition to Lt. Barnes and the fort's reconstruction seamlessly integrates into the narrative. The hints at the larger conflict involving bandits and the guilds add intrigue and set the stage for broader developments. To enhance reader connection to the world, you could consider sprinkling more hints about the political or social landscape as the characters navigate their surroundings.

The introduction of Filice and the setting of the inn provides a natural progression, introducing new characters and potential plot points. The interaction between Skrie and Malusk continues to be a highlight, showcasing their evolving relationship.

I’m finding this a promising start to the ongoing story, offering a blend of character dynamics and hints at a broader plot. Further exploration of the setting and characters' internal worlds could deepen the reader's investment in the unfolding story. So far, Everine is proving more than worthy for a reader’s consideration.

Sincerely,

Brian
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Review of Suncall  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Just Jae ,

Your introduction to the world of Everine through Suncall serves as story setting. It is rich in detail, providing a comprehensive glimpse into the land of Suncall within the Prefecture of Grayardia. The diverse inhabitants and the political structure of the Federation of Dimere create a vivid backdrop for potential adventures. The inclusion of different races, guilds, and the central role of the Council of Governors establishes a complex societal framework, promising layers of intrigue and potential conflicts.

The clarity in describing the linguistic landscape, where Common, Halfling, and Elven languages coexist, adds a subtle touch of cultural diversity. However, you might consider integrating examples or instances that showcase the linguistic interplay within the narrative, allowing readers to experience the linguistic nuances organically.

The mention of Moongulf as the capital and the nod to major cities like Grayard and Irewick provide geographical anchors. To enhance immersion, perhaps introducing key landmarks, cultural practices, or historical events specific to these locations might be beneficial, offering readers a deeper connection to the world.

It feels Suncall lays a solid foundation for Everine, offering a detailed landscape with the potential for diverse adventures. Exploring the nuances of the setting further through specific instances or anecdotes might elevate the reader's initial engagement. I’m going to further read and review as much as I’m able.

Sincerely,

Brian
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello KimE ,

Your poem, "Open Your Heart To Me," is a poignant expression of vulnerability, depression, and the longing for emotional openness. It effectively conveys a deeply personal and relatable message.

Your poem adopts a straightforward and conversational style, making it easily accessible. The direct address to the subject creates a sense of intimacy and invites the reader into the emotional journey. The use of short, concise lines reinforces the theme of emotional openness by mirroring the brevity and directness of the message.

The central theme revolves around the need for emotional connection and vulnerability. It touches upon the struggles and pain associated with depression, emphasizing the importance of opening up and seeking support. The message is both universal and deeply personal, as it reflects your own experiences, making it highly relatable to those who have encountered similar challenges.

Your poem is characterized by its simplicity, which in this case works effectively. The imagery is straightforward, focusing on the emotional and physical manifestations of depression. The repeated line "Open your heart to me" serves as a powerful refrain that underlines the plea for emotional connection.

Suggestions —

Exploration of Emotions:
While the poem effectively conveyed the emotional weight of depression and the desire for openness, you could consider expanding on the emotional experience. Describe the emotions associated with depression in more detail to create a deeper connection with the reader.

Personal Reflection:
Consider adding a stanza or lines that provide insight into your personal journey or thoughts. This can help the reader better understand your perspective and the context behind the poem.

Provide Support Resources:
Given the poem's focus on depression and the need for openness, you may want to include a brief section with resources or suggestions for individuals who are struggling with depression. This could offer practical help and support for those who resonate with the poem.

You might consider an ending for the poem with a message of hope or encouragement, emphasizing that opening up and seeking support can lead to healing and relief from depression.

“Open Your Heart To Me" effectively conveyed to me the emotional struggle and longing for openness associated with depression. I concur as a sufferer. Its straightforward style and direct address create an intimate and relatable experience for a reader.

Sincerely,

Brian
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In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello SP is Muddling through ,

I appreciate your poem, "Progressive Optimism," which conveys a positive and motivational message through its vivid imagery and thoughtful theme.

Your poem utilizes a simple yet effective style with clear, concise language. The progression of imagery from pebbles to mountains beautifully mirrors the theme of progress. It takes on a form that resembles the idea of growth, where each line builds upon the last, just as each pebble becomes part of a mountain. This structural choice enhances the poem's message.

The theme of "Progressive Optimism" is evident in the poem's title and content. It highlights the gradual and relentless nature of progress. It encourages the reader to appreciate the journey and not to be discouraged by the difficulty. The poem instills a sense of hope and perseverance in the face of challenges, making it an uplifting and relatable piece.

Your use of vivid and relatable imagery is a strong point. The metaphor of pebbles forming into mountains effectively represents the idea of progress over time. It creates a clear visual image for the reader, making the abstract concept of progress more tangible.

Suggestions for Improvement

1. Vary Line Lengths: While the consistent line length contributes to the structural progression, introducing some variation in line lengths can add a dynamic quality to the poem. For example, you might consider breaking a longer line into shorter lines to emphasize certain points.

2. Enrich the Metaphor: While the metaphor of pebbles forming mountains is powerful, you can explore it further. Describe the journey of these pebbles—how they face obstacles and challenges, much like the traveler in the poem. By expanding on the metaphor, you can enhance the depth of the poem.

3. Include Personal Connection: The poem carries a universal message, but adding a personal touch or anecdote that relates to the theme could make it even more relatable to the reader. It could be an experience or a lesson learned that aligns with the idea of progressive optimism.

Consider adding a concluding stanza or reflection to summarize the poem's message and leave a lasting impression. This can reiterate the importance of embracing the journey of progress.

"Progressive Optimism" is well-crafted with a clear message of hope and perseverance. Its use of metaphor and imagery effectively conveys the theme.

Sincerely,

Brian
Red Wheelbarrow Reviewer



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Review of body  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Wisteria ,

Upon reading your poem, I discovered a contemplative piece that delves into a theme of inner conflict, possibly between one's positive and negative components or emotions. The poem utilizes a concise style with a rhyming scheme, and it presents a distinct message that resonated with this poet.

I noticed the poem employs a concise and straightforward style, using rhyming quatrains to convey message. The simplicity works well in delivering theme and allows for a clear and direct communication of the poet's thoughts. As with theme, the inner conflict and duality is prominently present. It seems to depict a dialogue or an introspective conversation between two contrasting aspects of oneself. One side represents negativity, while the other emphasizes one’s own strength and resilience.

The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB) throughout, which provides a rhythmic quality and contributes to readability. The form enhances the structure and overall cohesiveness of the poem. It employs metaphors and personification with the contrasting aspects of self. For instance, "I'll walk you to the sweet hereafter, let your spirit roam free" personifies one aspect of self guiding the other towards a better place. The use of "My warmth wraps you in hair-spun grace" is a metaphor for comfort and positivity.

The poem could benefit from more vivid and evocative imagery to enhance its emotional impact. While it effectively conveys its message, incorporating more vivid descriptions could make the reader's experience even more connective.

Other Suggestions:

Expand on Imagery
Consider more vivid and unique imagery to create a stronger emotional impact. For instance, describing the contrasting aspects of the self using tangible and relatable metaphors or symbols can help the reader connect more deeply.

Clarity in Pronouns
In the line, "When will you see you're not me?" it may be helpful to specify which "you" and "me" the poet is referring to for absolute clarity. This could avoid any potential confusion in interpretation. Never want to snag a reader to back up.

The ending of the poem is strong and reaffirms theme. However, consider a closing line that encapsulates message and leaves a lasting impression. Summation works, or repeated words/phrases of impact. Sometimes, this is where my title comes into play.

All in all, the poem effectively explores inner conflict and duality through a concise style and consistent rhyme scheme. Enhancing imagery and ensuring clarity could further strengthen reader impact. this is the type of poem I would sometimes write. It can feel there are two voices in our head, sorting out which to believe, is our own, or how to yield. Sometimes, it’s an ongoing conflict for those who have to purge and sort out life by writing. The kind that keeps you up until three.

I was pleased to have found this on the read and review link on the left side of the page, where extra rewards are found.

Sincerely,

Brian
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dear ~SilverMoon~ ,

The short story "White Out, Cheyenne, Wyoming" provides an engaging narrative with elements of tension and self-reflection. I happened upon it in the read and review section.:

As for a hook, your story begins with a clear and relatable scene, the narrator's birthday dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Cheyenne. This setup grabs a reader's attention and introduces a sense of normalcy before things take a dramatic turn.

The plot centers around the unexpected challenges the protagonist faces on their journey back home due to a snowstorm. This creates a strong conflict that builds throughout the narrative. Descriptive language is used to set the scene and atmosphere. For example, the detailed descriptions of the restaurant, the snowy weather, and the tension in the car effectively engaged this reader's senses and emotions.

As for conflict and resolution, the primary conflict revolves around the dangerous driving conditions and the protagonist's internal struggle with decision to travel on their birthday. The story's resolution comes when they safely arrive home, reflecting on their choices and vowing to be more careful in the future.

Suggestions:

Character Development:
While the story focuses on the external conflict of the dangerous weather conditions, a deeper exploration of the characters' thoughts and emotions during the ordeal could enhance the reader's connection to the characters. It could go as far as existential.

Foreshadowing:
Consider introducing some hints or foreshadowing regarding the worsening weather conditions earlier in the story. This can create a sense of anticipation and build tension more gradually.

Pacing:
Some sections of the story could be condensed to maintain a more consistent pace. For instance, the detailed descriptions of the restaurant could be shortened to maintain the story's momentum.

Dialogue:
Dialogue is a powerful tool for revealing character traits and emotions. It might be beneficial to incorporate more dialogue between the characters during their journey, showcasing their reactions to the perilous situation.

Themes:
The story touches upon the theme of making choices in life. Expanding on this theme and connecting it more explicitly to the story's events could provide a deeper layer of meaning.

I know from my personal experience writing short stories, that it is often difficult to fully embellish or re-create circumstances. Sometimes, there is unresolved feelings that block one from completely fictionalizing their story-worthy experiences. Some stories take time and personal maturation to find the best words/framework.

I found “White Out, Cheyenne, Wyoming" to have a compelling premise and it effectively conveys tension and self-reflection of the protagonist. With some refinements in character development, pacing, and dialogue, it should see an even more engaging and impactful short story.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Patada ,

In "The Little Antique Shop," you paint a vivid picture of a charming, hidden gem of a shop, and the form chosen, a Villanelle, adds to the poem's overall structure and impact. The repeated lines "There was this simple little shop" and "As along the unbeaten track we decided to stop" create a sense of nostalgia and emphasize the significance of this unique discovery.

The style of the poem is descriptive, allowing readers to step into the setting of the antique shop. The use of simple language and clear imagery provides a warm and inviting atmosphere. The description of the shop as "small and quaint with a sink on top" conjures a distinct visual image, making the reader feel as if they are standing in that very shop.

The poem's theme is centered around the appreciation of forgotten heirlooms and the value of preserving the past. It encourages us to pay attention to the beauty in the ordinary, as seen in the lines about a "green grasshopper posed, ready to hop" and "things to interest every other kind." The poem conveys a message of cherishing the simple and often overlooked moments in life.

In terms of poetic devices, the repetition of the lines mentioned earlier is a key element of the Villanelle form, creating a sense of rhythm and reinforcement. This repetition, when done well, can be a powerful tool, but it might benefit from some variation to maintain the reader's interest.

One suggestion might be to try more figurative language or metaphors to add depth of description. For example, describing the shop as "small and quaint" might benefit from a different approach. There’s always metaphors that could liken it to a "hidden treasure chest" or a "time capsule of forgotten treasures."

A more elaborate exploration of emotional discovery would greatly benefit connection. How does the shop make the speaker feel? What memories or reflections does it trigger? Adding these elements can make the poem more engaging and relatable to readers.

I offer these ideas as insights that could help with an approach to the next thing you write. It was a pleasure to discover this poem on the read and review pages.


Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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Review of I must be home  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello ParrotHead ,

I've had the pleasure of reading your poem, and I'm excited to share my thoughts on it.

Your opening lines create an introspective atmosphere by engaging the reader's senses. The imagery of smelling the salt, tasting it on your lips, and hearing the seagulls crying on the breeze immediately transports the reader to a specific place, evoking a sense of nostalgia and belonging. The repetition of "I must be home" serves as a mantra, reinforcing the idea of returning to a familiar and comforting place.

The poem's style is simple and direct, which effectively conveys the theme of homecoming. This simplicity allows the reader to connect with the emotions expressed in the poem. The short, declarative sentences contribute to the poem's meditative quality, making it easy for the reader to immerse themselves in the speaker's experience.

The theme of "home" is central to the poem, and you explore it beautifully. The imagery of the white sail held between two shades of blue captures the essence of a coastal setting and the idea of finding solace in a familiar place. The mention of footprints following you is a poignant reminder that, even in returning home, we carry our past with us, and this adds depth to the theme.

Your use of poetic devices is minimal but effective. The repetition of "I must be home" not only reinforces the theme but also creates a sense of rhythm and assurance. The metaphor comparing the clear coast to fresh snow is vivid and relatable, as it conveys the idea of a pristine, untouched homecoming.

As for suggestions, you might consider expanding on the emotional significance of returning home. What is it about this place that makes it home? How does it make the speaker feel? Adding a few lines that delve into the emotions or memories associated with home could provide a more profound connection for the reader.

In conclusion, your poem effectively conveys the theme of returning home through its evocative imagery and simple, direct style. It resonates with readers who appreciate the comfort and nostalgia of familiar places. Keep up the excellent work.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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Review of I must be home  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ParrotHead ,

I've had the pleasure of reading your poem, and I'm excited to share my thoughts on it.

Your opening lines create an introspective atmosphere by engaging the reader's senses. The imagery of smelling the salt, tasting it on your lips, and hearing the seagulls crying on the breeze immediately transports the reader to a specific place, evoking a sense of nostalgia and belonging. The repetition of "I must be home" serves as a mantra, reinforcing the idea of returning to a familiar and comforting place.

The poem's style is simple and direct, which effectively conveys the theme of homecoming. This simplicity allows the reader to connect with the emotions expressed in the poem. The short, declarative sentences contribute to the poem's meditative quality, making it easy for the reader to immerse themselves in the speaker's experience.

The theme of "home" is central to the poem, and you explore it beautifully. The imagery of the white sail held between two shades of blue captures the essence of a coastal setting and the idea of finding solace in a familiar place. The mention of footprints following you is a poignant reminder that, even in returning home, we carry our past with us, and this adds depth to the theme.

Your use of poetic devices is minimal but effective. The repetition of "I must be home" not only reinforces the theme but also creates a sense of rhythm and assurance. The metaphor comparing the clear coast to fresh snow is vivid and relatable, as it conveys the idea of a pristine, untouched homecoming.

As for suggestions, you might consider expanding on the emotional significance of returning home. What is it about this place that makes it home? How does it make the speaker feel? Adding a few lines that delve into the emotions or memories associated with home could provide a more profound connection for the reader.

In conclusion, your poem effectively conveys the theme of returning home through its evocative imagery and simple, direct style. It resonates with readers who appreciate the comfort and nostalgia of familiar places. Keep up the excellent work.

Sincerely,

Brian
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140
Review of ***  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear LovelyLizzy ,

This poem, 🌟🌟🌟, exudes a beautiful blend of romance and inspiration, capturing the essence of love and longing. Here are some insights and suggestions to consider:

1. Imagery and Symbolism: The poem begins with a striking image of darkness and the absence of light, setting a somber tone. The use of "favorite star in the night sky" is a powerful symbol, suggesting that the subject of the poem is a guiding light in the speaker's life. You could expand on this symbolism by describing the qualities or actions that make the person the "favorite star."

2. Engage the Senses: Poetry thrives on sensory details. Consider adding sensory elements to immerse the reader. For example, describe the night sky in more detail, evoke the feeling of holding hands, or paint a vivid picture of the kiss. Engaging the senses helps readers connect on a deeper level.

3. Metaphorical Language: Explore metaphors and similes to enhance the depth of your poem. You could compare the person to other elements in the universe, like constellations or galaxies, to emphasize their significance.

4. Rhythmic Flow: Poetry often benefits from a rhythmic flow. Experiment with the cadence and structure of your lines. The first two lines, for example, create a sense of contrast that can be emphasized through pacing.

5. Emotional Resonance: While the poem already conveys strong emotions, you can expand on the feelings the speaker has. What is it about this person that makes them the favorite star? What emotions are evoked when they're near?

6. Title: Consider giving your poem a title that provides a hint about its theme. A well-chosen title can draw readers in and give them a sense of what to expect. It also acts as a hook.

7. Editing and Revising: Poetry often benefits from multiple revisions. Take time to re-read and refine your work. Play with different word choices and structures until you're satisfied with the result. I’ve gotten closer to language and its varied definitions and uses as I’ve grown as writer. It’s truly an immersive experience to chase synonyms, word origins, and more; it’s in this research that bolsters our style and voice as poets.

In this poem, you've started to craft a beautiful, evocative piece. With a bit of refinement and exploration, it can become an even more impactful expression of romance and inspiration. Keep writing and experimenting with your style to create a deeper connection with your readers.

Brian
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141
141
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dear Skurpio ,

"Fingers of Betrayal" begins with a gripping and mysterious hook, immersing the reader in an intriguing scenario. The opening scene raises several questions: Who is the protagonist, and what has happened to him? The vivid descriptions, such as the cloying odor and the rat with its morbid prize, create a sense of dread and unease.

The structure of the story "Fingers of Betrayal is engaging, with well-defined sections that introduce different perspectives and characters. It appears to be setting up a complex narrative with multiple storylines and viewpoints.

The story elements are rich in detail and imagery, which adds depth to the narrative. The use of sensory details like the scent of human waste and the oppressive heat can help immerse a reader into the environment you’ve created. The mysterious finger in the rat's possession adds an element of suspense and intrigue.

The characters are introduced effectively, with distinct personalities and voices. Shannon's frustration and Steve's light-hearted banter come through clearly, making them relatable.

The dialogue is realistic and serves to reveal character traits and relationships. It provides insight into the dynamics between the characters, particularly Shannon and Steve.

The story's clarity is generally good, but there are a few areas where the transitions between scenes and perspectives could be smoother. The narrative shifts from the protagonist's grim situation to Shannon and Steve's conversation, and then to other characters, which may need clearer connections or transitions to avoid confusion.

It's difficult to predict where the story is headed based on this opening, but it seems to be setting up a mystery or a series of interconnected events involving the characters. To keep moving forward, you could focus on maintaining consistency in tone and style throughout the narrative and work on the transitions between scenes. Additionally, it would be beneficial to provide more context and hints about the central mystery or conflict to intrigue your readership further.

I found "Fingers of Betrayal" to have a promising start with engaging characters and a mysterious premise. With some refinement and careful structuring, it has the potential to captivate readers as it unfolds.

Sincerely,

Brian
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142
142
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Delia ,

“Bocephus Unexpected Journey" is a story that combines elements of faith, belief, and devotion, and it is categorized under the genres of Opinion, Educational, and Religious. The narrative follows Bocephus, a young colt, on his journey from feeling overlooked and unimportant to discovering his purpose as he becomes the colt chosen by Jesus for His entry into Jerusalem.

The story is well-structured and conveys a powerful message of faith and divine purpose. It encourages readers to believe in their worth and trust in a higher plan. The theme of self-doubt and uncertainty is relatable to many, making it an educational and inspirational piece. The story effectively demonstrates the transformative power of faith and belief, as Bocephus transitions from feeling worthless to being an integral part of a significant event.

The story does a commendable job in conveying the emotions and inner struggles of Bocephus. His initial feelings of neglect and being overlooked are palpable, allowing readers to empathize with his journey. The transition from despair to hope is well-developed and emotionally resonant.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

1. Clarity and Consistency: The narrative occasionally shifts perspectives, making it unclear whether the voice of the unknown entity is God or another character. Proper attribution would be one possible fix. A more consistent and clear presentation of the voice's identity would enhance the story's impact.

2. Character Development: While Bocephus undergoes a significant transformation, the story could benefit from further character development, especially regarding his interaction with other characters, and his thoughts and emotions.

3. Pacing: The story could benefit from slightly more concise and focused storytelling, especially in the early stages, to maintain the reader's engagement.

4. Proofreading: There are some minor typographical errors that should be corrected for a smoother reading experience.

In conclusion, "Bocephus Unexpected Journey" is a heartfelt story that carries an important message of faith and purpose. With a few refinements in terms of clarity, character development, and pacing, it has the potential to have a more significant impact on readers seeking inspiration and spiritual insight. I suggest reclassify your item as fiction, short story to help find those folks scanning for something like this to consider.

Sincerely,

Brian
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143
143
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Ben Langhinrichs ,

I had the pleasure of reading, "The cozy chair that I'm not in." It captivates as you have woven emotion and vivid imagery together. Many qualities of this poem that stands out.

The use of personification is a striking element. You've given life to an inanimate object by having it "sit patiently" and "await your return." This creates a strong sense of longing and attachment to the chair, a symbolic representation of comfort and solace. This reader can connect with the emotions you're trying to convey.

Your choice of words and imagery is another strong point. The chair is not just any chair; it's "beside the cozy fireplace," which instantly conjures warmth in a reader's mind. The juxtaposition of this inviting setting with the speaker's sense of loss and despair creates poignant contrast.

"The cozy chair that I'm not in also effectively explores the theme of missed opportunities and regrets. The lines, "I’d give my first-born child to be back there / Instead I weep, as I will never learn," encapsulate the depth of remorse and the feeling of having made a wrong choice.

The line "I’d give my first-born child to be back there" does employ hyperbole to exaggeration used for emphasis. In this context, the depth of their longing and regret. The dark humor plays on absurdity while the whole of your work does not. Instead, you have combined elements of longing, regret, and foreboding with a touch of dark humor. Using it sparingly effectively creates contrast to the speaker's sense of loss and irony. This mixture makes the poem more complex and thought-provoking.

Furthermore, your use of rhyme and meter is consistent and adds to the overall flow. It gives the piece a sense of structure and musicality to complement. For instance, the rhyme between "chance" and "advance" and the internal rhyme of "terrified" and "fight" in the second stanza enhance nicely.

The progression from the nostalgic reminiscence to that foreboding sense of dread was well-executed. It takes a reader on a journey of comfortable memory with the onset of unsettling realization. This shift in tone keeps an audience engaged, adding depth to the narrative.

The final couplet, "Though you swear nothing in the darkness lies / Still, I can feel a thousand hostile eyes," is particularly effective. It is to leave the reader with a sense of unease, drawing them into the speaker's fear and apprehension. Its thought-provoking ending lingers in the mind.

I find "The cozy chair that I'm not in" skillfully crafted, beautifully capturing the essence of longing, missed opportunities, and the haunting specter of regret. Your use of personification, evocative imagery, and a well-structured rhyme scheme made it a compelling read. You did well to convey complex emotions and tell a story in a succinct and engaging manner.

Thank you for sharing your published work. I look forward to reading more in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
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144
144
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Ben Langhinrichs ,

I had the pleasure of reading, "The cozy chair that I'm not in." It captivates as you have woven emotion and vivid imagery together. Many qualities of this poem that stands out.

The use of personification is a striking element. You've given life to an inanimate object by having it "sit patiently" and "await your return." This creates a strong sense of longing and attachment to the chair, a symbolic representation of comfort and solace. This reader can connect with the emotions you're trying to convey.

Your choice of words and imagery is another strong point. The chair is not just any chair; it's "beside the cozy fireplace," which instantly conjures warmth in a reader's mind. The juxtaposition of this inviting setting with the speaker's sense of loss and despair creates poignant contrast.

"The cozy chair that I'm not in also effectively explores the theme of missed opportunities and regrets. The lines, "I’d give my first-born child to be back there / Instead I weep, as I will never learn," encapsulate the depth of remorse and the feeling of having made a wrong choice.

The line "I’d give my first-born child to be back there" does employ hyperbole to exaggeration used for emphasis. In this context, the depth of their longing and regret. The dark humor plays on absurdity while the whole of your work does not. Instead, you have combined elements of longing, regret, and foreboding with a touch of dark humor. Using it sparingly effectively creates contrast to the speaker's sense of loss and irony. This mixture makes the poem more complex and thought-provoking.

Furthermore, your use of rhyme and meter is consistent and adds to the overall flow. It gives the piece a sense of structure and musicality to complement. For instance, the rhyme between "chance" and "advance" and the internal rhyme of "terrified" and "fight" in the second stanza enhance nicely.

The progression from the nostalgic reminiscence to that foreboding sense of dread was well-executed. It takes a reader on a journey of comfortable memory with the onset of unsettling realization. This shift in tone keeps an audience engaged, adding depth to the narrative.

The final couplet, "Though you swear nothing in the darkness lies / Still, I can feel a thousand hostile eyes," is particularly effective. It is to leave the reader with a sense of unease, drawing them into the speaker's fear and apprehension. Its thought-provoking ending lingers in the mind.

I find "The cozy chair that I'm not in" skillfully crafted, beautifully capturing the essence of longing, missed opportunities, and the haunting specter of regret. Your use of personification, evocative imagery, and a well-structured rhyme scheme made it a compelling read. You did well to convey complex emotions and tell a story in a succinct and engaging manner.

Thank you for sharing your published work. I look forward to reading more in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer

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BOOK
Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches  (18+)
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
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145
Review of Eight-line Poems  
for entry "Egress
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Beholden ,

Your poem, 'Egress,' demonstrates an intriguing approach to the outdoor spiral case picture prompt. Here I will break down the poem’s performance in terms of imagery, connection to the image, style, and poem function:

Imagery:
Your poem effectively conjures imagery associated with a spiral staircase, as evident in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "spiral stair, winding scare." These vivid descriptors create a visual representation of the fire escape, giving the reader a clear mental image of the subject matter.

Connection to Image:
The poem maintains a strong connection to the image of a spiral staircase, as it continually references the spiral and rotational nature of this structure. The use of terms like "descending, unending" captures the notion of the staircase's continuous descent, further strengthening the link to the image.

Style:
You employ a rhythmic and rhyming style that adds a musical quality to the poem. The repetition of sounds in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "rotational, gyrational" contributes to a playful and engaging tone. The concise lines and rhymes make the poem catchy and easy to remember. Those words reminded me they could also describe a child’s toy, and maybe a helicopter.

Poem Function:
The poem functions as a visual and auditory exploration of the spiral staircase. It encapsulates the motion and descent associated with a fire escape, creating a sense of movement. The vivid imagery and rhythmic style combine to capture the essence of this outdoor structure.

Stylistic and Emotional Potential:
To enhance the poem, perhaps consider incorporating personification to infuse the fire escape with human-like characteristics, allowing readers to connect with it on a deeper level. For instance, the fire escape might become a character itself, whispering secrets to those who descend its spiral steps.

Emotionally, you could explore the idea of escape and rescue, touching on the dual nature of a fire escape as both a means of evacuation and a symbol of hope. By delving into the emotions tied to a fire escape's purpose, the poem could evoke a stronger sense of urgency or nostalgia.

‘Egress' is a visually descriptive and rhythmically pleasing poem that effectively captured that image of an outdoor spiral staircase. To enhance it, it’s possible to delve deeper into aspects of personification and emotions associated with this otherwise ordinary fire escape, creating a more emotionally resonant piece. The title, 'Egress,' is indeed fitting and adds a layer of depth to the poem's exploration of escape and descent.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army

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146
146
Review of Beach Song  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Susan,

Your poem "Beach Song" is a delightful piece that captures the enchanting essence of a moonlit beach walk. It's brimming with vivid imagery, and its rhythmic flow echoes the soothing cadence of the waves. I want to provide a detailed reaction and some suggestions, should you think it needs further refinement.

The style and theme of your poem are reminiscent of romantic and lyrical poetry, where nature, in this case, the beach, becomes a stage for an emotional experience. The use of exclamations ("O! What a delight") adds an exuberant tone, emphasizing the awe-inspiring beauty of the setting. The choice of diction is evocative, particularly in lines like "moon shadowed dunes" and "lunar lust," which contribute to the sensory richness of the poem.

The form and structure of your poem are pleasing, with consistent quatrains that maintain a harmonious rhythm throughout. The rhyme scheme (ABAB) adds musicality and symmetry to the verses, making it easier for the reader to follow the flow. The poem's brevity is also a strength; it captures a moment of beauty and wonder without excessive elaboration.

You employ various poetic devices effectively. The repetition of "O! What a delight" serves as a refrain, emphasizing the joy of the experience. The alliteration in "watery winged tunes" and "sandy mystery" enhances the sonic quality of the poem. The personification of the sea and sand as "mystics" and the sea's waves as gentle, teasing, and misbehaving imbue the natural elements with human-like qualities, forging a deeper connection between the reader and the environment.

While the poem is already beautifully written, here are a few suggestions for consideration:

1. Further Develop the Theme: Explore the emotional aspect of the experience. You've hinted at romance with lines like "a couple's glance," but delving deeper into the emotions or thoughts of the narrator could add a layer of depth.

2. Evolve the Imagery: You've painted a vivid picture of the beach, but you can push the boundaries of your descriptions. For instance, you might expand on the idea of "moon shadowed dunes" to create a more intricate visual image.

3. Clarify the Narrative: The poem leaves the reader with an atmospheric impression, but a slightly more concrete narrative or progression of events could enhance reader engagement.

Your poem is a beautiful snapshot of a serene beach walk, and it's already a captivating piece. These suggestions aim to provide you with some directions for further exploration, but feel free to adjust them according to your creative vision. Keep up the fantastic work!

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army

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147
147
Review of Indigo Night  
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kåre Enga in Montana ,

Thanks for allowing me a chance to read and review your poem. “Indigo Night", which captures imagination with that title, paints a vivid picture of a somber and poignant scene. I'll provide feedback in several aspects, including style, theme, form, and poetic devices.

Style and Imagery:
Your style is contemplative and evocative, with a focus on vivid imagery. The description of the "crescent moon wanes" and "twilight settles then fades to indigo" creates a powerful visual atmosphere. However, there's room to further enhance the sensory experience. Consider incorporating more sensory details like sounds, smells, or textures to make the scene even more immersive.

Theme and Emotion:
The theme of hope in the midst of despair is poignant and touching. You've effectively captured the contrast between the chaos and sorrow of the day and the quiet, hopeful night. This theme resonates with readers, and it's a strength of your poem.

Form and Structure:
Your poem follows a structured form with quatrains. The use of quatrains gives your poem a sense of rhythm and consistency. However, consider experimenting with line breaks and stanza breaks to create pauses and emphasize certain moments within the poem. For instance, you might break the last stanza into two lines after "but no matter," to emphasize the enduring nature of love and hope.

Poetic Devices:
You make effective use of alliteration in phrases like "the tears have dried" and "the sobs have stilled." This repetition of consonant sounds enhances the musicality of your poem. You might consider exploring other poetic devices, such as metaphor or simile, to add depth to your imagery. For instance, comparing the crescent moon to a silver sickle or a hopeful smile could enhance the connection between the night sky and the theme of hope.

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Consider adding more sensory details to engage readers further.
2. Experiment with line and stanza breaks to create pauses and emphasize key moments.
3. Explore additional poetic devices like metaphor and simile to enrich your imagery.

What I found appears to convey a sense of contrast between the natural world and the suffering of human life. The crescent moon and the indigo sky symbolize hope and beauty, even in the face of pain and chaos. The poem suggests that love endures in the midst of tragedy, offering solace and comfort. This duality of darkness and hope can be seen as a reflection of the resilience of the human spirit, finding strength and beauty in the midst of adversity. It invites readers to contemplate the coexistence of sorrow and hope in the world.

Overall, "Indigo Night" is a poignant poem with a compelling theme. With some refinements in style and the inclusion of more sensory details, it could become an even more immersive and emotionally resonant piece. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
Red Wheelbarrow Review

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Review of Time  
In affiliation with Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
For My Dear WDC Friend WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024 :

Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to give back. You’ve done so much for me over the years. I get wrapped up in writing endeavors, lost in reflection as neurodivergent. I can focus better now and want to share what I can while I can.

“Time" invites readers to ponder the relentless passage of time, a universal theme that has been explored in countless ways by poets (like me) throughout history. The poem is characterized by its reflective and introspective style, drawing attention to the fleeting nature of time and its impact on our lives.

You begin by offering a series of questions, emphasizing the abruptness with which time seems to slip away. The repetition of "How did it get so late so soon?" (Dr. Seuss, from the prompt I assume *Smile*)and "How did it get so late?" creates a sense of urgency and surprise, effectively conveying the poet's astonishment at the rapid passage of time. The use of questions here encourages readers to engage with the theme to prompt one to reflect on their own experiences with time.

You employ a regular rhyme scheme and consistent four-line stanzas, which provide a structured and rhythmic quality to the poem. This choice of form gives the poem a sense of order and control, contrasting with the chaotic nature of time itself. It's important to note that the poem's form, although conventional, complements the theme by highlighting the inevitability of time's progression.

The poem utilizes a range of poetic devices, heard in the lines like "With every sip of breath I take" and "Wrinkles of old age do make," creating a musical quality and drawing attention to the physical effects of time on the speaker. Additionally, the metaphors in "Like bamboo sprouts, we bend" and "In circles of Life's wind, we trust" vividly depict the malleability of human existence and the cyclical nature of life.

Suggestions for improvement might include providing more vivid and specific imagery to further engage the reader's senses. For example, instead of "Wrinkles of old age do make," you could describe the wrinkles in a way that allows the reader to visualize and feel the effects of time on the skin more intensely. For instance, "Wrinkles etched by the hands of time, like ripples in the sand," adds a more evocative image. Maybe hands of time is cliche, but an illustration.

Furthermore, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary. Words like "flee," "follow through," and "vault" are somewhat conventional choices and might be substituted with more imaginative and descriptive language to enhance the poem's impact. I’m caught between locating words through thesaurus that fit, but not archaic, with respect for the tone and quality I aim for when I write. It’s a hunt that leads through many internet doors, from word origins and definitions to sentence applications. I learn a lot, pocket some stuff to use another day. Sometimes, a little physics goes a long way here. I’ve tried.

Wrapping this up, "Time" successfully explores the inexorable march of time with an introspective style and a structured form. Your poem invites readers to contemplate their own experiences and the impermanence of life. Existentialism? Incorporating even more vivid imagery while experimenting with vocabulary, you can further elevate the emotional resonance of this poem.

I’m so happy to have been trusted to read and review for you. It is the least I can do. Well done.

Best regards,

Brian
Red Wheelbarrow Poetry Group
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"RedWheelbarrow SpringChickens 🐓



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Review of Two  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello cheshire ,

I found your poem in the reviewing pages and thought I could provide a more insightful response for “Two." The brevity and simplicity of your offering is a charming perspective on love and unity. The poem seems to encapsulate the journey of two individuals coming together to form a lasting bond.

Stylistically, the poem employs minimalistic language and structure, which serves the theme of simplicity in love. The concise lines emphasize the core emotions, and the repetition of "One" and "Two" is effective in highlighting the transition and union of two people. The use of short, direct sentences creates a sense of clarity and intimacy, which resonates for me with your poem’s theme.

In terms of themes, central is the love beautifully conveyed through gradual progression of two individuals becoming one. The poem explores the transformative power of love and the idea that love brightens the future and brings people together. It captures the essence of love as a unifying force.

While the poem is effective in its simplicity, there's always room for improvement. To enhance the poem, consider incorporating more vivid and specific imagery. For instance, instead of "The sun beams over the two," you might explore how the sun's rays caress the couple or create a unique image that strengthens the emotional impact.

Additionally, you could experiment with varying the line length or adding a metaphor or simile to add depth and complexity to the poem. For example, "Eyes touch, love connects like constellations in the night sky," adds a layer of metaphorical depth. Have all metaphors relate to one another somehow for cohesiveness.

In conclusion, "Two" is a touching and straightforward poem that beautifully conveyed the idea of love uniting two people. With a bit more vivid imagery and creative language, it could be even more emotionally resonant.

It was a pleasure to read and consider this poem and have the chance to lend a bit more than the average review. I’m available for follow up consult…or anything.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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Review of $4.90  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Julie,

Hello.
Your provided poem, "$4.90," carries a powerful emotional weight and serves as a glimpse into the author's personal struggles and experiences. It resonates as a heartfelt confession, where the act of writing itself may be therapeutic for the author. Here's a more detailed reaction, considering the form, message, and the underlying psychology:

The form of the poem is free verse, which suits the raw, confessional nature of the content. The use of short, simple sentences and a lack of traditional stanza breaks contributes to the poem's direct and unfiltered feel. It reflects the scattered thoughts of the speaker, adding authenticity to the piece. This format effectively mirrors the scattered and overwhelmed state of mind the author is conveying.

The poem's message appears to be twofold. It delves into memory lapses and forgetfulness, showcasing the speaker's tendency to forget important tasks and details. Simultaneously, it explores the profound guilt and regret associated with a seemingly minor act of stealing $4.90. The juxtaposition of these two elements highlights the speaker's emotional turmoil, as well as a heightened sensitivity to their own actions. The poem portrays the inner conflict of someone who tries to maintain a high moral standard but is confronted by their own imperfections.

In terms of psychology, the poem provides insight into the psyche of the author. It hints at the possibility of an undiagnosed psychological condition or overwhelming stress that leads to forgetfulness. It also hints at financial difficulties, as expressed through the inability to pay for the $4.90 and their need to resort to petty theft.

To enhance the poem's poetic qualities, you might consider a few adjustments. While the free-verse format works well, some structured line breaks could emphasize certain ideas and emotions. For instance, breaking "over $4.90 that I forgot about spending" into two lines could highlight the importance of this minor expense. Additionally, metaphors or imagery could be woven in to make the poem more vivid and impactful. For example, you could compare the weight of guilt to something tangible, like a heavy stone in the speaker's chest, or describe the forgotten prescription as a ticking time bomb.

In conclusion, "$4.90" is a poignant piece that showcases the author's emotional turmoil and potential psychological struggles. If this is fictional, it’s next level genius stuff. The raw, confessional form aligns well with the content, and by incorporating structured line breaks and vivid metaphors, your poem could be made even more evocative.

Best regards,

Brian
WDC Super Power Reviewer

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