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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1002252-Shadorma-inspiration-Alzheimer-311-and-311t
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1311011
A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life.
#1002252 added January 16, 2021 at 10:14pm
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Shadorma inspiration? Alzheimer [311] and [311t]
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#2223838 by Sharmelle's Expressions


The poetic link: A Shadorma poem about my writing "Invalid Item"   [] by A Guest Visitor

Mini-review: I don't think this form exists. I can find no trace of it anywhere, only nonsense in English by English speakers with no references. If it does exist the broken phrases aren't traditional Spanish. As for content? It doesn't say much and it doesn't say it well. The idea may be salvageable but the poem is not. I rate it 1.8.

Note: The 'shadorma' is a suspect form imho. I mean ... from Spain? There is no "sh" in Spanish. It would be spelled "xadorma" in Gallego-Portuguese. I can find no 'sadorma', 'jadorma' or 'zadorma' on-line either. The only example I found in Spanish was by a non-native who doesn't know syllables in Spanish. It is NOT the same as in English in spite of what on-line English language sites want you to believe. "Viejo" is 2 syllables vie-jo. 'Muy' is one: 'mwi' like 'brie' not 'moo-ey' like 'chewy'. 'Mooi' or 'mooie' is Dutch. If in fact "shadorma" goes back in time it's not a free-form verse; that's a modern notion. Forms were meant to help memorize orally. Cute forms scrawled on wood or rocks were paintings. It is listed as: 3-5-3-3-7-5. If so, then each line should be a phrase or word, not chopped up for modern convenience. And rhyme? Rhyme is not an issue in Spanish like it is in English. Rhymes are overly common and can be annoying in modern poetry; but Spanish, like French, can best be written in long lines (12 'syllable' alexandrines) making rhymes less noticeable. Spanish seems to prefer abba rhyme schemes when rhyme is used.

Anyone can make up a form and attach a name to it. This one seems to have no reason to exist. It's 26 syllables. And that's about it.

But I'll give it a try in Spanish.

Alzhéimer

"Muy viejo."
Así me llaman.
Mentiras!
Soy joven.
"Demencia" me susurran
los tíos muertos.

3: muy.vie.jo.
5: a.sí.me.lla.man.
3: men.ti.ras.
3: soy.jo.ven.
7: de.men.cia.me.su.su.rran.
5: los.tí.os.muer.tos.

Translation:

Alzheimer

"So old."
So they call me.
Lies!
I'm young.
"Dementia" my dead uncles
whisper.

KE [177.311] and [177.311t] (16.diecembre.2021)

The prompt: The author talks about inspiration. Where does your inspiration come from?

From everywhere. Not necessarily from poems though. It can be the soup I made tonight, the frozen fog fading everything to white this morn, the sunset tinting the skies a soft pink in the south-west and northeast.
3.587


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1002252-Shadorma-inspiration-Alzheimer-311-and-311t