Porthole

Nineteenth week of the not so new year

COUNTDOWN

Last day till August

100 degrees today. Flag limp. Later, breezy. Outside... inside it's hot and stuffy. Doing as little as possible. Wrote: "Moonpies on Mars"  and "Along the Po [52] [~530 words]" . Don't have anywhere to send either at the moment.

Tuna patty, pork patty, swiss cheese, coffee.

I'm doing okay.

2 days till August

Having problems in the morning. Due to the heat? Anxiety? Uncertainty? Took shower before going to bed, but not sure that helps.

Saturday = market day.

Need to find a cool place to hang.

BP 161/82 pulse 62. Could be part of my problem. Later: 145/79 pulse 69.

To Beholden: "Once a rat, always a rat... unless you are furry and can fly... then you're a squirrel.

To all aliens: it's the humans I'd be more wary of.

Signed, "

To Diane: "19th: I think I last read James [NT].
20th: Just ask [for help].
21st: Humans can justify (make excuses) and sanctify (legitimize) anything... and misuse Scripture to prove it. (Yes, I know that that's cynical).
22nd: Better to write a religious entry capturing the essence but avoiding these cliche words (like the Taboo contest). Not sure what a good prompt would be... 'my personal journey'? That, or use the words in an unconventional way... a recipe for moonpies on Mars? [Write an entry using these words: cross, God, Bible, tree, Spirit, garden, and sky.]"

To M. le Cyril at YCC re chosing to fly:

"I have no other option.

I make choices. I don't have a TV, Netflix, a car, a/c, fancy toys that everyone else can't live without. I don't do bottled water, order on-line or do delivery. I stay in hostels, mix with people from all over the world, interact with locals as much as I can. Speak Spanish fluently and French-Portuguese-Norwegian poorly. I don't stay in resorts, play at casinos, shop at Prada, go to amusement parks.

I crunched numbers last year. It was cheaper to stay in Oslo (I've been many times and know how to pinch a krone) than Mississippi where there's little public transportation and no hostels. Even getting there wasn't that much cheaper.

When I go to Thailand for one month (hopefully this October/November) I'll spend less money than most spend on a cruise or a week in Orlando. Going to a Thai restaurant or watching Thai TV lakorn isn't the same thing as visiting Khon Kaen, Maha Sarakham or Chaiyaphum in Isan (NE Thailand). As a writer, I need all the senses, not just audio-visual and I want to understand the culture, not just snap photos of Bangkok. I can't do that at home.

I want to make about 4-8 trips/year (I prefer 2 months but my body isn't as supportive or amused), but in this touristy, rapidly gentrifying town folks fly between homes, work, summer homes every weekend. That's not me.

Butterfly Herbs: raspberry-cardamom shake, a cinnamon roll from Irina, lots of water, advice from Lundi.

When I got home I sat with Dirk in the shade (I didn't have my fob). Hot but pleasant. When we went to go in, door wasn't locked... oh well.

98 degrees at 7 pm. Tomorrow?

Have my fob now as Bry found it.

Watching "Vice Versa".

80 degrees at 22:30. Too hot inside to sleep well.

3 days till August

86 degrees before noon. It could reach 100 today, tomorrow, Sunday, Monday...

Found old poem. I really was a better writer years ago. In "On Mersenne Prime" 

Futon, frame and another piece of furniture are gone. Very hard to let go. It's necessary to let go.

So... Bry is a writer of short stories. I really liked "Little America". Her wife's name is Katrina, so I had to read "I, Katrina". "I, Katrina" 

98 degrees at 4:30 pm.

Okay now... 9th inning and 'my' Orioles are winning! 6-2 middle of the 9th.

82 degrees at 22:00. I feel sticky.

Gasoline: $4.39/gallon = falling.

4 days till August

Paid for my p.o. box. Due every July. Yes, it's double what it was 10 years ago. No, I don't have twice the income. No, I don't know whether I'll be here next year (or even alive). Yes, it had to be done by tomorrow. Yes, it's a relief to have it out of the way.

I told Robert: "I agree with the general idea of "if you live below your means, you'll always have enough." I live below my means and part of the problem is recognizing I have enough. So... I hired someone to help me clean. It's slow but we're making progress.

I also 'hire' pilots to fly the plane, train, bus. What I save on not having a car (maintenance, taxes, gasoline) allows me to travel while I'm still vertical.

I live on so 'little' (less than most folks) but I'm not poor! I know what poverty is..."

Leather bag has a new home! Jay works with leather.

Gave see-through (like a slide) postcard to Angie.

Gasoline 4.54/gallon. Temp 93 at 14:30. Hot and rising. BP: 129/69; pulse 68. Do I believe that? I feel okay... so maybe.

Very stressed out this morning. Not as bad as yesterday though. My anxiety needs to abate.

To Stik: "Algebra should be taught as soon as a child can learn it (much younger than curriculums now advise) and Maths aren't the only subjects disrespected.

I would like to see them teach Anthropology in grade 7-9 instead of optional (and poo-pooed) at the university level. There is so much ignorance out there about other cultures. Dinosaur bones may be neat but gender/family/death/birth... oh so many variable aspects of daily human life are reduced to 'norms' (as practiced by powerful people of the dominant culture).

"Oh, but it's not relevant in MY life" is the cry of those who stereotype various minorities."

5 days till August

It was 94 degrees at 6 pm.

Shopped in the morning. Cottage cheese on sale and I bought mac&cheese for ~60 cents/box. Bought Amish butter as well, as the cheap stuff costs almost as much.

Bry came by and we moved the futon&frame into the hall. It frees up lots of space.

Feeling less overwhelmed at the moment.

I may or may not get to contests... focus is elsewhere.

The heat? I'm okay as long as I don't move.

6 days till August

70 degrees at 9 am. Gonna be hot today.

I'm feeling okay at the moment but no motivation.

I responded to Ned: "I usually tell folks how I am... if I can figure that out. I mean:

Depression: not great, not bad.
Anxiety: up and down. I need to do stuff and the heat is draining me. Once done, anxiety will abate.
Teeth: lost one but it's easier to eat now!
Legs: iffy.
Breathing: so-so. I huff&puff up 42 steps.
Back: okay if I don't do anything to annoy it. Very bad a couple weeks ago.
Sleep: not wonderful. Better when I travel.
Dust: very dry, I sneeze, dry mouth, itchy eyes.

Friends worry that I'm losing weight. I think I'm at a plateau and want to lose more. But... it's nice that they are monitoring me as I'm struggling.

Overall? I'm doing okay. So that's what I usually say: I'm okay."

87 and rising at 2:25.

Sat with Kathy, Nancy, Pat... shrimp po-boy for lunch; cole slaw was very good.

Going through pens and plastic bags. I didn't realize how many bags I had!

Spoke with Michael and Jay tonight about leather, cookies, teeth, futon and frame. I want that futon and frame gone. It takes up too much space.

Beautiful sunset.

76 degrees at 22:33. Stuffy inside. Fan barely helping.

7 days till August

My least favorite time of year (in the US). It's Guanacaste Day in Costa Rica. 10 years ago I took a picture of the president of CR in Nicoya; but, I was too shy to speak with her.

Felt cold in the early morning. Covered myself! Now 65 degrees at 10:15.

Body is cranky again in spite of late night hot shower. I'd blame my age but that's just an excuse. My lack of daily exercise is the more likely culprit.

I look around... and feel overwhelmed. Lots of empty boxes but still too much to sort. Bry comes at 2 pm. Meatloaf is served at 11:30. I have an hour to do something.

We sorted out shirts last time and that was helpful. I don't like being shirtless but being pantless is worse, so I want to go through some pants before Bry gets here.

My wash dried over night. Everything is hung or folded.

I'm somewhat recognized as a writer here. Barely acknowledged in town where I live. Most friends and family ignore that aspect of me. At times I've felt invisible.

Unfortunately, it seems to be a common issue with writers.

32°C at 17:00. 22% humidity. Not bad but I have stuff to do and dislike heat. It's hot inside.

Bry came and we made a bit of progress. She'll be back Wednesday. Gave her copy #14 of "Where grows the compost heap" .

One of the perks of rummaging through old papers, books and odds-and-ends is finding 'stuff'.

I used an elastic band recycled from Haines underwear as a head band. Tickled Dylan all pink and aquamarine.

82 degrees and almost 9 pm. I'm eager for the temp to go down. Plummet would be nice.

Highlight of the evening? Michael brought me snickerdoodles.

Must rewrite and submit: "Teeth-of-the-lions [49] ~275 words" 

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