Varying Shades of Gray - My Life

05-30-03

Well BLAH! Yeah, I'm that kind of mood, again. I'm okay really, just dperessed that things aren't going as planned. Oh well, like they ever do. JC told me last night that he won't get to come home next week. That really sucks. I was so looking forward to holding him and having here, in person, again. There is a possibility, that meybe the following week, he can make it down.

Found out this week, that soon, I am going to have to do with DA for a couple of weeks. His aunt is taking him, his mom and sister on a trip to Florida. Disney World is one stop, that I know of. And I really happy for him, that he gets to go. I guess I'm just being selfish now, huh? I am going to miss him like crazy.
JMC is working two jobs now that he's out of class for awhile. And I understand that he wants to have enough money to make on his own, when he moves away to university, it's just that I haven't got to see a whole lot him, lately, with school and working his butt off. And yes, I am proud of his work ethic and independence, but still, I miss him horribly and he's not even moved out of town, yet.
Oh well, maybe AW and I will have a chance to bond more than we already have. He's really a good kid and we have gotten closer, that last few weeks. I know he's going to miss the hell out of DA, too.

I found out some stuff that upset me, this morning. There was a very good chance that I may have never gotten to know BOH. He was so close to death at his birth. I know what you're saying, "Well then you wouldn't have missed him, because you never would have known him." True. But even thinking about the fact now, tears me apart. There have been so many times when he was the only one, that I could talk to. He has always been my sunshine and if not for him throughout the last year, I really probably would have gone completely insane or worse. He is an inspiration to me. And I mean that so literally. Again, I am going to say, he IS my sunshine. :) (read my "Dream" journal for the weirdness of this. Maybe it's just me, but it was weird.)

Okay, you're probably tired of the "woe is me" routine. Sorry. Other than all that things are going okay. I guess I shouldn't really complain. Whatever.

Well, I will end this one for now. Have a great day, all.