My Life on a Plate

Posers and Strutters

Nothing much to report, no profound thoughts or words of wisdom, oh blah de, oh blah da, life goes on blah, but that's something to be grateful for in itself.

Went to the gym with hubby this morning and had a swim afterwards while he baked in the sauna. He's not a water baby like me. I thought I might choke to death from laughing though when the aqua-aerobics class started gyrating to Y.M.C.A.

Yesterday morning I went to the gym alone while hubby played golf. I'm amazed at the fact I now have the confidence to do that.

One of my main reservations for not joining a gym before now was the thought of all the young, lithe females strutting their stuff in skin tight lycra outfits. How wrong can you be?

The majority of women at the gym are overweight and out of proportion. They go about their business quietly and appear to have no interest in showing off or observing other members. Oh no, it isn't the female of the species who pose and strut...it's the MEN.

I expected the place to be fairly quiet yesterday; early in the morning on a workday, but male posers were everywhere. I contemplate how they manage that:

Are they all retired? No, too young for that.

Are they students with free lecture time? No, too old for that.

Are they unemployed? No, they couldn't afford the fees surely?

Are they shift workers? Possibly but if they are there's a hell of a lot of them.

Are they aliens? That seems a distinct possibility.

They enter the gym and spend half an hour comparing attire. Where did you get those trousers? How much was that shirt? Did you get those trainers from the U.S.A?

They then stroll around with their fancy water bottles and blood pressure monitors on their arms and hop on and off the scales. Periodically they stop and lift their expensive tops to compare torsos in the mirrored walls.

Very occasionally you may see one on a piece of equipment, generally the arm curling thing, where they compete with each other as to who can lift the heaviest weight, whilst making noises the likes of which I haven't heard since my honeymoon.

It's the same in the pool. While the ladies take part in classes or swim their lengths, the men sit chatting on the steps flexing their biceps, or gather in the jacuzzi like bachelors on a stag night.

So how do they manage to look so toned and fit when they don't appear to actually DO much at all? I can only conclude they work out at another gym before socialising at this one, or they are members of rent-a-body.

Peacocks, Pheasants, Baboons, Cockerels, Lizards and many other males of the species spend a lot of time exhibiting their wares - it strikes me the human male isn't so different.

While we poor females are left exhausted after attempting to fight age and gravity. But as someone recently observed - LIFE JUST AIN'T FAIR.