L'aura del Campo

Africa. Constructing a poem.

1 Nur - 5 June

Thought for Today: "The only folks who give us pain are those we love the best." — Ella Wheeler Wilcox, American poet (1850-1919).

Weather where I think I am this morning: 74º
Weather where once I was in Aurora, Nebraska: 64º and storming
Weather where no one goes for vacation, Freetown, Sierra Leone: 88º

I couldn't agree more with the above quote. Most of my grief surrounds those I care about. The opposite of love is not hate. Hate and love share passion; it is indifference that sits opposed to them. Even that has virtue (ask any Buddhist).

Thinking of Africa

Most Americans don't think of Africa. When they do it is the exotic turists traps: pyramids in Egypt, safaris in Kenya; the casbahs of Morroco.

No one thinks of Chad! Or Togo, Burundi, Tunisia, Mali. Or the cities of Kano, Kampala, Dakar or Durban. Who has ever been to Benin?

No one goes to Sierra Leone to take a vacation in Free Town.

No, Africa lays beneath the radar of most Americans. Even at the University level, there are few opportunities to study there. And yet, there is a wealth of culture and peoples, goods and services, knowledge to be shared. Africa is more than sand dunes and safaris.

And Rwanda ... why didn't America respond to Rwanda?

There can be no true love or hate for Africa, when there is only ignorance and indifference.

IMAGES

In America, on the corner of 10th and Ohio:

Purple taste of blackraspberries; chestnut trees in bloom; orange daylilies (thoughts of tempura); the Halcyon House Bread and Breakfast (785.841.0314); the gurgling fountain; sign of the fish (no dumping, drains to river); orange trumpetvine; a glove sitting on a branch of redbud; a stop sign with the sticker "obey"; a truck trudging up the hill; birdsong in the distance.

Attention all bloggers! A contest for you : "Invalid Item" 

Monday's Moody Madness

Mood: good.
Energy level: okay
Anxiety Alert Level: yellow (4)
Depression level: okay (3)
Trauma level: okay (3)

Did I accomplish anything? Yes. Writing: yes; Blog: yes; Journal: not yet; Reading: not yet; Money: not but it's okay; Home: don't ask; Car: no, as before.; Career: no, but; Personal: no; Food: yes; Clothing: no.

Today has been a slow day wasted in front of the computer ... but it's not over yet .

Constructing a poem

Yesterday I started with this line:

'in the lonesome moments we lament'

then tried to respond:

'at the sunrise summit we submit'

I noted that there were 9 syllables.
#3 and 8 had alliteration.
#3,5,9 were stressed.
#6 and 9 rhymed.

So I tried to come up with some more lines and not be too silly .

'there the dung the wayward, seldom heard'
'this the thriller that denied 3-D.'
'maybe when the saviour speaks with her'
'pray for rainy weather sent right there'

So much for not being silly. At this point it seemed an amusing exercise or maybe exorcise . But 4 of the lines seemed to hang together. I rearranged them like this:

'there the dung the wayward, seldom heard'
'in the lonesome moments we lament'
'at the sunrise summit we submit'
'maybe when the saviour speaks with her'

Interestingly there is the endline pattern ABBA of slant rhyme: heard/her and lament/submit.

And then I thought of jspinelli and her entries on Mary Magdalene and thought of the title "The poor of Magdala speak of Mary". It gave it a sense of time and place and provided purpose.

This is what it became with further editing:

Magdala's poor send prayers with Mary

There the dung, the wayward, seldom heard,
in their lonesome moments of lament
to the sun-drenched summits they submit
prayers for when the Saviour prays with her. [163.181.v1]

or perhaps even more strongly put:

We the dung, the wayward, seldom heard,
in our lonesome moments of lament
to the sun-drenched summits now submit
prayers for when Our Saviour prays with her. [163.181.v2]

And still revised, making it more direct, but sacrificing the 9 syllables, and adding a fifth line that does not conform except for rhythm:

Magdala's poor pray for two Marys

We dung, we wayward, seldom heard,
in lonesome moments of lament
to sun-drenched summits now submit
prayers for when our sister prays with her,
give praise to Mary's son, Our Lord. [163.181.v3]

My question ... do you prefer the 3rd person = 'they' version or the 1st person = 'we' version? How about the last revision ... is it the best? Does the extra line work? It may be necessary to read out loud to really tell ... aaargh, and I don't like the titles I came up with ... more editing ...