I'm Studying You

Fear Of A Canadian Mosh Pit

So here's my story. Maybe 10 years ago Dave, Verno, Dave's co-worker Mark and myself hopped into Mark's tiny Chevy Beretta and made a 4 hour drive to Barrie, Ontario to see Pearl Jam outside at Molson Ampitheatre. End of August. Hot as all get-out.

We got there early enough for a few cocktails and split up to catch the openers; Dave and, I think, Verno went to see Cracker while Mark and I saw Cheap Trick. We reconvened and staked out a cozy spot about 40 feet from the stage and were set as PJ took the stage.

It was the best concert I never saw.

About 3 notes into the first song, "Corduroy", there's a massive surge from the back. Somehow only Mark and I got caught up in it, and right before the monster riff to officially open the song kicks in, we're 5 feet from the stage. Caught in the midst of the biggest mosh pit I've ever seen. And I've been to a lot of concerts.

For awhile, I'm having the time of my life while trying not to lose sight of Mark. Dave's usually the one who rushes to the front; even he knew better on this occasion.

After 3 songs, we decide it's time to get the fuck outta dodge. One problem: we're in too deep, and one step back seems to get us shoved another foot forward.

Five songs in, I'm tired. I'm bruised. I'm filthy from all the dust being kicked up. A chick is crowd surfing in my direction. She's flailing away, does a 180 on her back, and kicks me in the head. My glasses go flying and my favorite hat gets swallowed by a sea of sweaty fans. The glasses I could replace (and I had an old pair at home). The hat? 'Twas my favorite: plain black Nike cap with a white swoosh on the front, and sun-faded brown from being left in the back of my car.

Now I've got a headache, and I really can't see crap without my glasses. A few songs later I finally get a chance to break out. I wander through the masses, hoping at least maybe my boys will spot me. Ahhh, no. I settle into a semi-open spot and attempt to enjoy what I can out of this. At least they sounded great.

Encore. "Yellow Ledbetter". I can make out the words. Ached to share the moment with my brothers. We were tight and diverse, and PJ was the glue that kept us together and got us through many times, good and bad.

That's it. Show's over. I don't see the faces in front of me, let alone those of my people. I hop the fence, cut through the trashed beer garden, and join the herd to the exit.

I pass through the gate and I get my arm grabbed violently and I'm pulled aside (and I can't fight it; the aches and pains have begun to take hold of me). It's Dave! I'm saved! No more of this being lost on foreign soil crap. They even bought me a poster while they were waiting to find me.

The story doesn't end there. We get to the car and pile in and...wait. It's the most ridiculous parking environment ever. Took us 2 hours just to finally get on the road.

Around 3am we get stuck in a traffic jam in downtown Toronto, so we hit some little greasy diner to put some food in our pot-bellies. And everyone realizes how filthy I am. I've got dirt caked everywhere. I know, gross. At least we could smoke cigarettes up in there.

I'm looking at the menu, which is of course 2 inches from my face, and they all start laughing at me. So I smile...not realizing my teeth have dust caked on them. That good clean Canadian soil y'all. I went to blow my nose, and that hurt! More good clean Canadian soil. Never saw black snot before.

Finally, we made it home around 6am. A four hour drive there, an eight hour drive back. Tried to sleep on the way home but that wasn't happening. Not in that tiny backseat. Couldn't even sleep when I got home; had to drag my sore, beaten ass into the shower first.

But the whole experience was sooooo worth it. When I went back there a few years later w/my ex-roommate to see Radiohead, I made sure to stay clear of the mob til the show got underway. Still had the same issues getting home though. But learned there is a Tim Hortons at every exit of the highway in Canada (the QEW maybe?).

So have fun at your PJ show, Julie D - PUBLISHED! . And I did finally see PJ again, with glasses. They made it to Buffalo's HSBC Arena maybe 5 years ago. It was a blasty, but that's a whole 'nother story for another time.