I'm Studying You

cuz I'm the cheese and she's the macaroni

So before I dip into my verbal assault on life today, check out this video. It's kinda amazing. It's not music or anything offensive. Science at work. Yet a whole 'nother use for cell phones. Technology...it's what's for snackin' on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V94shlqPlSI&feature=bz302

Real quick...lemme get last night out of the way.

holdupwaitaminute...BREAKING NEWS...
Just got a call from Winks wondering where I am...him and Jake are putting Little Ricky's bike up in the tree NOW. Damn. I always miss the good shit. I told them I want pictures.

Back to last night...got to accompany Amber for a driving lesson, but not how I intended it, which is actually a good thing. The whole "shitting where you eat" concept isn't swinging well in my wheelhouse. It was me, Amber and a friend of hers. I didn't even get to ride shotgun. I figured if it was just me and her we'd drive around and get some ice cream and I'd tell her that it's probably not cool that the only time you get to see your boyfriend is when he's at the holding center. Instead, she parallel parked more times last night than I ever have in my life, and I left her with this piece of crucial road test wisdom: Always check your mirrors. The only thing more important than knowing what you're doing is looking like you know what you're doing. Her (2nd) road test was this afternoon. Hope she passed.

Now, on to today. Because what would a blog entry be without some CWC activity? I'll say this: your boy over here didn't drop the ball today, he dropped the hammer. Only not quite as big a hammer as one would like. The conversation after an exchange of pleasantries:

CWC: "So what, do you work around here or something?"

me: "Work? Who needs to work?" as I place my paper, Dew, Spin magazine and Honey BBQ Fritos Twists on the counter. Respect the Fritos.

CWC: "Where do you get your money from then?" Kind of a ballsy question, actually. Ballsy questions require ludicrous answers.

me: "I sell my body."

CWC: "You do not! Even I wouldn't believe that." Laughter ensues.

me: "No seriously, I get unemployment." I'm starting to wonder if she's gullible or just pigeon-brained.

CWC: "Oh. Sorry to hear that."

me: "Well, it beats working in a drug store." She's apparently forgotten our conversation where I told her I once worked in a drug store.

CWC: "Hey! It puts food on my table and a roof over my head and... so there! Burned ya! Hah!"

me: "And it's great if it doesn't make ya crazy" I said as dryly as possible. And I didn't even have to call out "Burn!"

CWC: "Ok, yeah, true."

me: "Ya know, I was thinking last night that if you really missed me at the end of last week, and you rely on Walgreens to get your daily fix of me, then, ahhh, you need to do something about that."

CWC: "Oh, ya think?!?" in that tone of voice where she sounds like she's discovering that maybe spending more than 5 minutes a day with me at some stupid beauty counter might not be too bad an idea.

me: with confidence and pride still fully intact, nod emphatically and say, "Yes, I think so," and strut to the door with my peacock plume busting out like a jack-in-the-box.

It isn't resolution. But I dropped enough bass on her to blow one of my stereo headphone channels, so we'll just nickname today "Progress" and go about the rest of the day. An interesting observation though...that's the third time I've gotten the exact same "Oh ya think?!?" response out of her in the exact same way. I'mma have her sippin' a nice, cool glass of B in no time. That's my word.

That's enough outta me for today...might see what game all y'all are kickin' but I should try to race home and see if they got Ricky's bike in the tree for real. And then come up with something to top that. Safe travels, safe returns y'all.