Enga mellom fjella

The "odd one".

ME:

I went to a poets circle last night and read last. I read last because I wanted to choose the right one from among the 5 I had brought. What I write seems to be different somehow from what is in style among young MFA and MS writers here in this college town. I did okay.

But... I never quite feel at ease. Not in my other writers circle either.

And... I don't feel like I make friends. Myrt and Lavinia are friends, but neither is a writer. Among writers? Even in general I seem to make thousands of acquaintances (which is why I'm puzzled that I have "only" 200 fb friends).

This extends to WDC, to my family, to "old friends", new friends... [Funny... Myrt just called...]. I didn't feel like this in the '80s and '90s because I was so involved in community and creating my own circle with parties, et cetera. But I did feel isolated as a child.

At least Missoula feels safer than where I grew up, if not always warm-fuzzy.

A response to Paul Bucalo (Sentimente) on how Google+ is conversation centric: I can see where that would appeal to focused people who have specific areas of interest; however, the down side comes with "group think" and whether an eclectic group is desired. Congress is an example of an eclectic group that must converse... a small ethnic-religious congregation is rarely so inclined. I do have favorite topics of conversation but my social spheres include many I vehemently disagree with. Life is more than an academic argument to me.

May I add that drama here at WDC was equally tedious at times. Many left the site. Others just stopped blogging or putting up items to be rated (I rarely post poems as separate items... I should start again).

As for facebook... I do not agree with many of my friends there. I keep their comments even when I cringe because I do not wish to crawl back into my shell (I would read/play in my closet as a child). It is difficult to have so many people in my life I disagree with but that has been my story since I was little. The "odd one" always looking in and feeling very left out (sometimes by choice).

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