Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Let Go And Take The Ride - The Power Of Trusting The Journey

I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. I bought the book yesterday and was going to just fly through the pages but the first one rang true so I am thinking of devoting a bit more time to it. It may also make an excellent blog... so...

Love Louder - Amplifying My Life

Day 1 - Let go and take the ride: The power of trusting the journey

"Some people get so caught up in the destination that they miss that life is about the journey. They're so focused on the finish line that they miss that the beauty is in what and who you become on the way to the destination,"

What it the destination anyway? The final one is death. Who wants to rush towards that blindly? Certainly not me. Even if he means getting through each bit of life as it comes, I would rather not rush through the good things, the bad things I could do without... but...

Preston Smiles talks of blessings in disguise - health scares, the death of loved ones, breakups, breakdowns. He makes his way through by trusting in the journey.... that all will be okay on the other side of the trouble.

He says there is always more that meets the eye in every situation... when we trust and believe all will be well, even if it doesn't appear to be, we open ourselves up to new possibilities that we can apply to our lives. We just "need to be present to the experience of it." Whatever is happening we must trust that what is unfolding is going to be for our greater good... even the Bible tells us that. Trust in the process and follow the path you are on... things come and things go... we carry on and learn and grow from our experiences. We need to have faith. Some of these experiences test our faith and if we do trust, we will be okay, we come out the other side stronger for it.

"Sometimes certain people or circumstances aren't meant for our lives, and we often don't realize it until we look back, years later."

This resonated with me. As my marriage crumbles, many of my family and friends have expressed comments that I was not the same person with him as I was when I was on my own. That should not be the case. You should not have to change who you are to be with someone... particularly if how you change takes away from who you are.

I loved my husband, I wanted to be what he wanted, but I have learned I will never be the tidy freak who cleans whenever she has a free moment. I find comfort in having some organized chaos around... and being a creative soul with a writer's heart often finds me focused in places he didn't understand.
As a teacher, he also didn't get how I could spend so much time planning for my students... 'they're done at 3:30 why are you not home until 6 pm?'
I also modified my comments, as I found he took offence to things my family and friends would find funny.
I also gave up a lot of my independence to be there for him... now I struggle with worry... can I make it on my own? I was with him for 22 years, married for 14 of those before I moved out... Now the worry circles like wolves... Who will fix my car? Who will fix my computer? Will I be okay?

I loved him and I wanted to be loved by him, but at what cost?

I feel selfish and can't help feeling like I used his generous heart... but is that the truth? We were married. I did my part, didn't I? I think I did, just not to his standard and that irked him. Our differences could not be overcome unless I was willing to change for him... and that to me, is not living.

"When we trust the journey, we can rest assured that every breakdown is a catalyst for a breakthrough."
I want to believe this... and know that I will be okay... in time.

The #LOVELOUDERAFFIRMATION:
Today I am available for all the good that is happening right now, regardless of how it may appear.