Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Save or Savour, Blind Spots & Can You Hear Me Now

30 Day Blogging Challenge

Motivation Monday!
Author E.B. White, who was born on this day back in 1899, once said, "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." What's your take on this? If given the choice between only being able to do one, would you rather save the world or savor it?

Oh, I love this quote. That is how I feel this morning... in a way. You wake each morning with a fresh new day... and what do you do... the things you love (savouring) or the things you need to do (saving yourself and the world, in a way). We'll see how the day plays out. I love E.B. White. I can see a lot of this quote in the underlying theme of Charlotte's web - a fresh day to save the world... written in a web message for a pig. Charlotte didn't rest... but she also did what she was able to do using her skills the best way she knew how... combining what she loved with saving the world... now that is the ultimate!

As it is I slept in this morning, but as I was fixing my morning cup of tea I noticed the neighbour and his daughter rollerblade by; moments later a FedEx truck pulled up at their house. I went out to tell the FedEx guy to wait, that they would be back and I saw them coming. I told the guy he had a package and then stood out on the road to stop a car so that his daughter, new to this rollerblade thing, could get across the road without getting hurt. Just following my intuition and being neighbourly.

Now I am able to go downstairs and write my blogs. Am I saving the world with these? I don't know about that, but I hope I bring a smile and lighten someone's day with what I can impart.

No matter what you do today... enjoy it!

Blog City – Day 855

It is said that everything outside our warm, safe circle is our blind spot. Do you sometimes think that you are blind to what’s in front of your eyes or that your subconscious has blocked something from your immediate knowledge of it?

Oh, heavy stuff this morning. I find I have a tendency to bury my head in the sand at the slightest hint of conflict in romantic relationships. I see a heated conflict as 'it's over', even though it may not be that bad... the thing is, by ignoring the small stuff, it gets big and overwhelming and though I know, on an intellectual level, that is a bad thing to do, I can't help hiding at the emotional level.

I was blind to the pain I was causing in our marriage. I was hiding and hoping to pretend it would go away or mend itself.... well, it's gone away... and now I am alone. I am living back with my mother... trying to tell myself I am only helping her out, when I am not so sure I can make it on my own. This ‘adulting’ stuff sucks.

I saw my parent's marriage breakdown. I was unaware at the time that infidelity had been the breaking point. What I, in my seven year old heart, saw was that arguments and discontent lead to the end of what we as a family had. I did not know the adult stuff. I did not know marriage was work and that two lives do not just seamly fall together... I saw they could be irreparably ripped apart. I saw my parents lack of communication and though I wanted to avoid it... I let myself recreate it in my own marriage - feeling paralyzed to do anything about it.

I picked partners I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life with... and felt the pressure of social expectations when I was asked to marry. I feel I have wasted a great deal of my life and I so want to change... but can I?

I am trying to stay aware; to learn from my mistakes and to force myself out there whenever I feel the need to hide. Living my life means showing up, it means getting messy and it means listening to my inner voice and acting on what guidance it is offering me. I will move on from this... things will get better.

Love Louder - Amplifying My Life

I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life.

Day 13 - Can You Hear Me Now

"One of the keys to loving louder is listening louder."

Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
Stop thinking about what you're going to say in response... just listen to the person... really hear what they are telling you.

To actively listening you need to be present in the moment, You need to be curious, engaged, and enthusiastic about what the other person is saying to you. Be moved and effected by their words, tone, message and body language - everything they are conveying without spouting your own opinions or rebuttals.

"Listening is one of the highest forms of caring; it shows that you are truly there for someone and value what they have to say. When you give people you full attention - not waiting to talk, not reloading, not judging, but being fully present with them - you end up in an exchange that is ripe with possibilities."

#LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE
Ask someone this question and set an intention to actively listen to them.
What was the happiest time of your life, and why? (if it is your parents they cannot say your birth).

Keys to Active Listening

1. Breath deep into your belly.

2. Face the speaker, making eye contact.

3. Don't judge yourself if / when you check out. Active listening is exhausting and takes practice.

4. Do your best not to think about YOU during this time. Engage naturally without being self conscience. Have fun and be you!