Melting Snow

End of the year blues

Sunday, December 25, 2016

It's the last Sunday in 2016 and, despite the the festivities of the season, I've got a touch of the end of the year blues. There are several possible causes of this, but I don't think any of them are valid. I always feel this way either the day before my birthday or the day after. This is something I've dealt with since childhood, so I suspect I'll be dealing with it the rest of my life. I suspect the roots of this is the fact that I was born on December 24 in a culture and family that made a big deal of Christmas. As a child, I never felt that my birthday was special and, as a results, I wasn't special. Children need to feel they are special, at least on their birthdays.

End of the year blues
tears on the edge of morning
unable to cry.

I remember on December 24 opening my birthday gifts while my brother's and sister were given one of their Christmas gifts to open. I couldn't understand why, since it was my birthday, they go to open a gift for them when I didn't get to open a gift for me on their birthdays. I know my parents were trying to be fair to all of us, but it didn't seem fair to me. I know that life isn't fair, I think that was one of the lessons I learned. I also learned that I wasn't that important or special because my birthday wasn't special. I know at 70 years old I should learn to let go because there is nothing I can do about it now. I'm not sure I could have done anything about it then even if I could have put my feelings into words.

End of the year blues
unwanted reminders of
old disappointments.

I need to move on because this depression isn't healthy. The problem is that letting go is difficult especially this time of year. I don't want to descend into the darkness of the season because I know I'm not the only one who because depressed over the holiday season. Apparently it's a common problem that many people deal with but don't talk about. I think that's the problem. Not talking about the subject is the problem because it increases the depression. Instead of glazing over it with a sugary coating we (those of us who feel this way) need to bring it out in the open. We need to blog about it. We need to write about it on Facebook and other Social Media plat forms. We need to bring the issue into the open so that other people know why we are depressed when the rest of the country is happily celebrating holidays.

End of the year blues
each individual has their own
reasons for holiday depression.