Melting Snow

Creation Saturday: Instructions for a Simple Household Chore

Saturday, July 29, 2017

The Creation Saturday prompt for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 
Come up with a 10-step (minimum) process for a simple household chore.

Instructions for a Simple Household Chore

First, "simple household chore" is an oxymoron! There is no such creature as "a simple household chore", even with the proper instructions to follow no household chore is simple. True, you can make the chore less complicated, but it will never be simple. That being stated, I will now attempt to write instructions to make a complicated chore less complicated.

Instructions to Uncomplicate a Household Chore

Step 1: Decide on your least favorite household chore because it is better to start with the chore you hate. The reason for this is that you can use the chore you enjoy doing as your reward for doing the chore you hate.

Step 2: Check your bank account to see if you can afford to hire someone once a week or once a month to do this housekeeping project.

Step 3: After you have determined that the only way to hire someone to do this chore for is to win the Publishers Clearing House prize. Find the Publishers Clearing House form you received in the mail a few days ago and fill it out. If you cannot find the form then go to the Publishers Clearing House website and enter.

Step 4: While you are waiting for the Publishers Clearing House van to stop in front of your house or apartment, the hated chore still needs doing. Therefore, I suggest you either do it yourself or bribe con someone else into performing it.

Step 5: After determining that, short of kidnapping a professional housekeeper, there is no one you can bribe or con into doing the chore you have to suck it up and do the chore yourself.

Step 6: Gather all the cleaning supplies, tools, and equipment you need to do the chore in one place. Preferably, the room in which you have to perform the chore. For example, if you are cleaning the toilet then you have to lug all the necessary equipment and cleaning supplies to the bathroom.

Step 7: Make sure every door and window in the house is locked so that thieves or intruders cannot easily get into the house while you are working. You do not want any interruptions while you are doing this despised task because interruptions will only prolong the ordeal. Also, turn off all cell phones and, if you have a house phone, unplug the house phone from the connection until after the chore is finished.

Step 8: Write a note to put on the front door. Example: Crazy person in the process of cleaning (insert whatever is is you are cleaning) knock at your own risk. If you interrupt me then you have to finish cleaning (whatever it is you are cleaning) yourself.

Step 9: Brew a large pot of coffee or make yourself a tall cold glass of iced tea. If you drink hard liquor and have a bottle of John Walker or Jack Daniels in your liquor cabinet you may add it according to taste to your coffee or tea. If you prefer to drink these items straight from the bottle, then go right ahead. Anything to make doing the hated chore easier or more pleasant.

Step 10: Get to work doing the hated chore because once it is completed, you can do the household chore you enjoy most.