Enga mellom fjella

Seeing through the rain

For

Journalistic Intentions  (18+) This is for the journal keeping types that come to PLAY! New round starts February 1! #2213121 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

9. You have to look through the rain to see the oncoming bus, dump truck, and motorcycle. Solace.Bring

I was looking the other way.

Smack.

The slash of rain streaked the window panes west to east ... at a 45 degree angle. It hailed in the mountains. Kayakers in the river just kept riding the curl of Brennan's Wave, oblivious to anything wet.

I closed my window when the cold breath tried to invade my personal space.

But I wasn't prepared for the hammering in the hallway.

Life in an old hotel without ghosts is normally boring ... more like a snooze.

It was just my new neighbor putting up sound insulation... (ironic?)

But life wasn't always so placid.

Oh, it looked placid...

I was blinded to reality as a child. Didn't know how fortunate I was. Didn't know how deprived I was. Never knew that I wasn't unique and that I could be me and still valued. Never had a friend I could confide in until I was 26. Was blind-sided 24 years later when my best friend severed my lifeline. Didn't see it coming.

I didn't even know I was refused a college scholarship until almost 50 years later when my mother let that slip. Life could've been different? It only seems that way in the light of day.

I was raised in the dark where secrets were never spoken.

So I bumbled through my 20s and 30s and 40s ... and ...

I didn't see my crash and burn. I just grabbed for something within my reach, forgetting I was falling through thin air.

I needed support.

But it probably wouldn't have mattered much. I can be fairly hard-headed and far-sighted when I should be paying attention to details in front of me.

So I was looking the wrong way.

Smack.

Haven't been right in the head since.

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