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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| It turns out that both coffee and alcohol can help your brain with productivity...in moderation. I mean, coffee? Duhhh. But, alcohol? Who knew? https://www.jotform.com/blog/caffeine-alcohol-on-productivity/ As to my own self, coffee was a late participant in my life. I was ridiculed at one employer in the 90s as 'not a morning person, huh?' Granted, it wasn't the most stimulating work. But, it recalled a similar experience when I worked as a journalist in radio. A PR guy from the paper mill in town, after concluding a phone interview, pointed out I 'sound like you just got out of bed' when I did my first news report at six a.m. I had to up my game after that, if people who are a part of the news are listening and started getting up earlier. Back then, I was 'using' Coca-cola (better not say Coke) to get me self going in the a.m. But alcohol, yes I should have known. You have always been there for me. All the odes alone at night written with Boone's Farm wine. Help me, I was a poor, college student who had yet discovered the finer things in life. I could sit in my dorm room and pen my odes to some unrealized love or the moon and could feel deep connections to other-worldly feelings where my imagination seeped in psyche. So, definitely, alcohol gets a mention in my whenever-it-shall-be-written-and-then-published novel, as an inspiration. But, these two in moderation? If I have to realize what each does to me when I go off the deep end. Coffee will give me the jitters and I get ahead of myself and cannot compose my thoughts at a pace my mind can comprehend. It can be quite unpleasant and I have to do things to settle down. Detox. Whereas alcohol, we know more than a few drinks induces 'sleepy time' and the fights with windmills. Everything from 'I'm going to get my son back' to 'I think I can fly.' Wait, am I still talking about alcohol? Oh, no. Drugs, you weren't invited to this conversation. Well, you sort of were. Your cousins, anyway. Maybe, for another time. I'll tell you about climbing that one hundred foot pine (yes, that thick-branched, sappy tree) and all the people standing below from the wedding reception I crashed begging me to climb back down. Daring. So, in summation. Wait. Ahhhhh, coffee all gone. Maybe, another time. 8.28.20 No edits. But.... I said, NO EDITS! additional note: I will just say that I like that my palms don't hit the touch pad while I type anymore. You know, where it quickly highlights a block of text and then a keystroke wipes out all the blue highlighted characters before you can stop. I know there is a restore function...if you're doing it on a word doc of some kind, but not on these tempting dialogue boxes. I'm writing live without a net, baby! Yeah, dumb, I know...if you want to save or store stuff. But, you see. I don't know how far I'm going to go and then I get deep in, and Bam! I do stop to copy and save when I get in deep and start thinking, 'don't lose this.' It doesn't happen too often. Maybe twice a month or week? I don't know. I do some writing in docs and then copy and paste here and then edit some more and think I should copy and paste this to the document of the first part, and by then, I'm so tired of going back and forth, switching screens and trying to find the other and figure out where I left off that I..just...give....up. Is all this writing worth it? Is this the grist of life that we seek to transpose and illuminate an otherwise unsuspecting and unaware world? I thought...zzzzz |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
