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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| I've now begun the process of editing two books of poetry to self publish. I know I am not up to the task, but forcing myself to begin. I titled the books, but won't name since I will likely change. I know what I want each to be filled with. There are two defined sides to my writing, both freeverse. I want one book to be about my sensitivities as they relate to people who struggle with oppression, self-worth and overcoming manipulation. It gets dark and heavy and isn't altogether pretty. Ironically it is not the title of the other book, which is temporarily titled, "Beauty Has Thorns." In that, it's nature poetry. It's not necessarily sunny day, walk my puppy or kiss the girl. Though, it will have elements of that with introspection. I think I'll leave out cutesy or humorous for a third book. That would take more poems to fill. The process has got me crafting two new poems to start already. I felt a forward was necessary for one and it turned into a poem. I will not produce those poems here. I've plenty of content on display. It's really necessary to start building myself up as a writer in the real world, separate from this pond. I've not been diligent in the process of putting myself out there, though I was told to submit for years. After I took a writing class in 2018, I knew I had to join the wine and cheese set. I was about to put the other foot forward this year when Covid19 happened. I think I just need to keep doing for me. It means shit is going to get real. I need to stop acting a pushover and name my bullies and opponents one by one until each dragon is slayed. I will overcome obstacles as a legally blind writer who struggles with, as yet diagnosed, attention deficit disorder and other learning disabilities. Add this inner rage that keeps my nose to the grindstone and I could be a monster worthy of being chased by villagers will torches and pitchforks. Not to worry, though. I have a civil tongue, not ignorance. I will have my moments again. I will be quick to rage and act uncomfortably on anger. This process of trying to produce worthy writing since joining WDC in 2006 has been an eye-opening process. I just need to persevere, right or wrong in my judgments going forward. I value myself just a little bit more. 8.12.20 edit later |
| What's not being discussed here? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/florida-sheriff-forbids-staff-visitors-from-we... Police around the country don't want people wearing masks inside their buildings, number one. And why? For Transparency. Some people could do it to conceal identity. There has been noted concern among law enforcement that behind the scenes that groups like Antifa have been up to something. There has been the riots and whether the 'anti-fascist,' or anarchist group, has sparked some violent outbreaks. There was concern in July plans were afoot involving the fourth. Leading up, police were getting a lot of false calls at departments in less densely populated areas around the country. It was assumed an attempt to judge police response time. There have been incidents where officers were dispatched to locations, outnumbered and ambushed. I think what police departments are weighing, and allowing factor in their judgments in dealing with this pandemic, is people planning organized attacks with mask rules. While it is obviously safer to be protected with face coverings, there is growing fears about safety among masked marauders. Who hasn't wondered why more banks or robberies haven't occurred. Just something I cobbled together on a whim. Further reflection on this later, or not. I do this news analysis thing my way. Especially, since I don't really have much of an audience with this blog. I could go to blogger or WordPress or something. I don't have time to get irons in every fire. 8.12.20. |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
