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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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| ...or Two sday as Annette wrote it. 22.02.2022. Since 22 is my favorite number I'm happy. Not thrilled because it's 1°F -17°C. And windy. At least it's sunny. I stand by my statement that there could be a war by the weekend. As my friend Laxmi stated, "Any spark will set it off." The only good news at this point is that the Russian people aren't keen on wars. Neither are the Germans or Japanese. WW2 might have something to do with that.  Made pasta with funa tish... because I could. Eating some before I head out. Hula. We watched a university group dancing hula. Very nicely done. Talked to one dancer who stood out. It seemed like she was born to it. And she was! Her mother dances. She learned as a child. She also does ballet and volleyball.  I'm at Le Petit Outre. They have fresh (many times warm) sourdough baguettes at 2 p.m. I scored a pat of butter so I'm full now. Time to head home. It's bitter cold out but I'm only one block away.  I have no TV but I may have to stop keeping track of the news, not because I don't care but because I care too much. I can do nothing to help Ukraina or those I met from there or my friends who have heart-connections to that place. I feel my anxiety rising, my wheels start to spin. My heart goes out to the Ukranians and Russians who will see their loved ones come back in body bags.🇺🇦  It's that time of the month when I'm supposed to focus on finishing contests. No interest tonight. It's 23:13. But tomorrow is another bitter cold day... hopefully with sunshine. 🇹🇭 🇨🇷 10:11 on the 23rd and waking up with coffee from 🇪🇹. I'm still dreaming of 🇹🇭 not 🇨🇷. Yes, the flags colors are similar albeit reversed. No one goes to Chaiyaphum. 1 million people live in this rural province off the tourist track. When I stay in Khon Kaen I might have a chance to visit. The park Pa Hin Ngam (Thai: ป่าหินงาม) is known for its stones and the Siam tulip (Curcuma alismatifolia), called "Dok Kra Jiao" (ดอกกระเจียว) in Thai. The dok kra jiao is a type of ginger like the antorcha roja of Costa Rica. It's color is more orchid than violet and used as cut flowers. Blooms during the rainy season (July). I'm  . Not a good sign. It's a bone-chilling 3°F but sunny and the winds have calmed down. 11:01. OMBH: Oh my bleating heart... it got into double digits today! I did go shopping but didn't see much to buy. Even basics are becoming expensive. Butter? Don't ask. I sat with George, Laxmi and Phil. Told Laxmi that March 2nd could be a date to keep in mind if Trump & Trucker's insurrection part deux does anything stupid on March 1st (before/during/after President Biden's "State of the Union" address). The situation worldwide is dangerous. Ask me why I'm nervous and depressed. 4 years of toxic-Trump, 2 years of go-nowhere-covid and now this. The world has never been totally safe for me but the last 5 years have been a bitch. ** Image ID #2267445 Unavailable ** Thor's day. Got my Angie fix. Saw Billie Jo. Spoke to Kirk. Apparently I wasn't the only one having problems getting in the other day. The door was frozen. Americans are slowly waking up to the realization that Ukraine actually exists and that it matters. No blood-lust for war here, but... it's a war. I hope the Russians get a glimpse of the bodies and faces of their dead youth that they have sacrificed. That may help sway opinion. War is unpredictable and Putin should know that. One major mishap and Americans will be begging to blow him away. We are deeply divided but wars tend to unite or forever split people apart. We are still fighting the Confederacy here in the U.S. And DJT doesn't know when to stfu. Freya's dag. Did get to see Laxmi briefly (twice), Hunter, Phil, Willie, Doug (his 84th birthday). No mail. Temps moderating. No urge to write. Need to write. Tick-tock. Had my fire&ice milkshake. It was fairly mild today. Still 34 degrees at 5 o'clock. Spoke to Lundy, Ian and Cathy Mae. There's a BrewFest by the old depot, near where I live. It should thankfully be over by the time I walk home. Saw Bri last night. She's visiting from Bozeman and brought me a donut.  Donuts and milkshakes. I've probably exceeded my sugar limit. 28 de febrero I'm purging since I'mat my limit for items. Making copies of some things. Coming across old ancient ramblings. I was a better writer way back when. Need to edit and open. "93 små dikt ORIGINAL"  llllllllllllllll  lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll |
| As I responded to Lyn: I found a friend.  : I lost a friend. :It still hurts at times so I try not to think about him. : But his name comes to mind. His name escapes my lips. I found a friend until I lost him.  4/4/14/6/6/9 True. (1974-2003) I wrote to today's prompt and then 'colored it' in shades of green. Don't think it turned out well; but, my opinion doesn't count for much. Dappled Day Dawning \\\\\\\The||frisky////breeze||played| |with//the|leaves//leaving\\patterns of///dark-green|||and///green-gold ||sprinkled///across||||////||the//////// ////lawn////////  //////\\\The//young|||||sapling//joined//\\in||swaying///// ||in//a//////dance/// And//me?\\\I//////sat//there/mesmerized/entranced, \\a\\\chameleon,\\changing//colors —from—/////||\\\\\this||||to||||that\\\\\. © 2022 Kåre Enga [178.369] (17.februar.2022) For
Dappled Day Dawning The frisky breeze played with the leaves leaving patterns of dark-green and green-gold sprinkled across the lawn. The young sapling joined in swaying in a dance. And me? I sat there mesmerized, entranced a chameleon changing colors —from— this to that. "Dappled Day Dawning [369]" Ate two chocolate-cherry cordials.  Drinking more coffee, black at the moment. Day after Angie (February 18th) Found out that the Big Sky Documentary Film Festival starts tonight. "The film lineup includes 50 features and 95 short documentary films including 50 World Premieres and 21 North American Premieres. A pass to 5 films = $40. I can get a virtual pass (on-line access)for $100. I've enjoyed it in the past. Do I go? Watch? On-line is only worth it if I watch 12 sessions. That's a lot of watching imho. Then again... the temps are plunging Sunday night and hi/low will be 19/-7 for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. SPAGHETTI with meat sauce Scored a lunch, a coffee. Sat with Willie, Laxmi, Patrick, Phil. I was reminded that I talk too much...  There's very little news when I don't venture out.  Sorry. I finished the first part (of 4) of Blood is not the water by local writer Mara Panich (from Indiana). It was hard for me to hear her voice. Maybe if I asked her to read one of her poems? Whatever. I did like "Blood is Not the Water" and a couple other poems. Very different writing style from mine. Saturday: I ran into Stephanie and Max. They are part of the Film Festival in town. Max's story is one of transformation from plans to attack a mosque to becoming a Muslim. There's hope.  I commented to Patricia: I should seriously consider moving to Europe before I'm too old. Transportation is an issue in the US. As for what I consider 'insanity'... that's curable but pandemic at this moment in history. Florida and Texas seem to have severe cases of the 'hates'. Naples never shows up on my list of places to move to. Tampa Bay does but Cincinnati would be better. What/who am I willing to give my life for? Written about that a few times.   I made some weekly goals:1. I will finish the entries I started for February contests. 2. I will blog once/week whether I feel like it or not. 3. I will call family whether they answer or not. 4. I will get out in spite of sub-zero weather (just not today). 5. I will make a to-do list for travelling. Have you heard of the Latin Bridge in Sarajevo? I've been there. It's where WW1 started. Remember this when the UN meets in an emergency session. The chance of a full-scale war by the weekend is no longer unthinkable. 5624 |
"Badges, Violets, 2 Rants-to-go" blog opinion
Others: "April 1 prompt: historical object or theatrical prop" poem For Hungary "To be of some use" entry 2010 Cindy |
| I responded to a blog entry "I wanna be productive!" by Elisa the Bunny Stik: Maybe I'm the flip side of the coin. I dunno. I've always been a daydreamer connecting stray thoughts into a vision, mere gossamer perhaps. I am dreaming about being 22 in Thailand. Dreams lead nowhere but my feet might get me there yet. Not to be 22, but to connect with another culture and generation. Reality shifts, but the threads that connect us remain, even when tenuous. There's a lot of planning to travel, and much uncertainty. My dreams, my beliefs, my vision provide a goal. My feet might get me there. 🐯 You mention finding youself valued in the workplace. My experience was different. I was considered a cog and nothing more. My mistake for not looking elsewhere and persuing a higher degree (I did try...). I would have been better off as a professor as some folks jump to that conclusion after talking with me. Someone I know, who is ironically 22, has proposed a study project on 13th Century Buddhist chanting as it came to Japan via China. I have some background in culture and language, enough to pose questions that need to be researched. One should never assume too much. His degree path is journalism with a minor in anthropology. Oh, for a Time Machine! 🐯 I don't think productivity has anything to do with present day liberal/conservative points-of-view other than a certain devaluation of what the "others" are producing. One looks back to traditions and the preservation of stability by codifying it into laws and procedures. Others look to the future and the flexibilty and preparation needed for change. Our janitor keeps this old "hotel" clean; but, he is also a poet. He seems to be grounded in Montana and he makes the reality of this place come alive. Me? I'm also a poet but I'm not always "present" in this space and time. I look elsewhere for inspiration and struggle to remain grounded. Dreams are like balloons. When they burst it's a long ways down.  I was tempted to send this but didn't. I'll rethink my wording and what message I'm sending. For future reference: this is an entry in a very old book/blog (now 99 r/r; 1,778 Entries; 105,975 views). Personally, I prefer comments left on the specific entry rather than a review that doesn't pertain to the whole blog. My old blog "L'aura del Campo" is up for a Quill award as a book of poetry. It didn't start that way but it is a repository of many short poems, specifically these days for "EXPRESS IT IN EIGHT" . Even years ago many of my daily blogs contained poetry. Back in the day I could check and see whose blog had the most views. Don't remember where that stat is hidden. But... I'm still near the top of the list. I got there by working my ass off in the early days. These days? Nary a view, seldom a comment.  To Tomasz: I'm a native English speaker which means I make grammatical mistakes all the time. I'm a poet so I get away with it. 😃 I hope that my mistakes when speaking/writing Thai/Lao are accepted with smiles, laughter and gentle corrections when I visit. Another 2nd place. "Haiku (the morning dew/one tear too heavy) [319a]" I should be thankful. ![Merit Badge in Eastern Poetry
[Click For More Info]
*^*Bird*^**^*Star*^* Congratulations Haijin! You are one of our second place Haiku Apprentices in [Link To Item #1969492] for your awesome haiku pivot. [Link to Book Entry #1025445]! Thanks for entering the hunt!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Eastern_Poetry.gif)  An article published the day my mother was born, May 7, 1922. Some of the predictions were very good. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/what-a-novelist-in-1922-predicted-what-the-wor...  Ohm Pawat Chittsawangdee (2000) โอม ภวัต จิตต์สว่างดี will be 22 on March 22, 2022. Birthday: March, 22, 2000 Place Birth: Bangkok, Thailand |
| ຊາວສອງຕະຫຼອດໄປ = ยี่สิบสองตลอดไป = 22 forever. I wish. The Lao is easier to read than Thai. In other snooze: I went out Saturday (mint-oreo-chocolate shake), Sunday (frosted banana bread) and today (pot pie). It's sunny mild and not quite as slippery as ice is making the walkways puddle-licious. Yesterday I called my sister. Sad and interesting news. My brother-in-law isn't doing well. He's in his 80s. My sister is having a cataract removed today and the other in 3 weeks. It progressed rapidly since August to the point she couldn't drive after 4 p.m. Since her husband can no longer drive... My sisters have been worried about me. I do need to get a phone. Although... they never called when I had one. My mother is 99 and not doing well. Her birthday is in May. So... my sister's expiration date may be in her early 90s. Mine? 82. My father and uncle both lived to be 82. Tik-tok. I don't know whether I have the energy to make up for 2 years of lost travel. Years ago I brought black/white together for parties. It may not have been much, but it was something. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/its-time-for-white-people-to-have-tough-conver... February 8th, Tuesday, 29 degrees. Bald eagles passing through. One perched and posed on a pole so I got a pic. Angie has been sick, but Billie Jo and I didn't know that. Good to see her today. Sunny outside but no urge to go out, even though it's 54 degrees. PS: went for a walk down slushy muddy trails along the river. Odd dream, so I made it into a rambling piece... of what? It's more like an ejaculation than vomit. Also editing contest entries and submitted one old poem to TYP. 5,604 |
| I finished 6 or so contests in January. I wrote a bit here at WDC, mostly short pieces. I've been writing in my hand written journal again (30 pages December/January). I have nothing to write about. Suicide is sky-rocketing and I can understand why. I just want my life back; and yes, I'm making some progress. I'm keeping track of when I go out and I'm doing better. I'm not used to spending this much time at home, especially in winter. I love the snow but the cloudiness gets to me. *whine whine*. I may or may not get back to blogging here because there's no point to it. Cosmos for constancy... October 10th's flower. I do want to get back to blogging. But I'm 863 moons old and still have nothing new to say. February 6th... finally called my sister. Mixed news at best. My mother is still alive but barely. She's 99. No word on other members of my family. I feel very isolated. |
| It's time to take a break. Awhile back I cut back on spazebuik and that was restful. Now, It's time to cut back here. I'm writing in my hand-written journal again so it's not like I won't be monitoring my life. It's just that I won't be sharing here. Same with reading blogs. I want to... but my on-line presence here has been time consuming with not enough emotional support (I'm needy). My thoughts... I need to get out more and reconnect face-to-face. It looks like covid-omicron will become endemic like the flu. Very contagous but not so lethal. As the world comes to terms with that I suspect countries will open up. I will need to dream about traveling, do research, makes plans. Go! I have unfinished writing projects. I have unfinished business in my personal life. My on-line addiction has gotten in the way of living. It helped during the shutdown, but 2 years is far too long. I'm getting old in many ways and if movement = life, then I've been comatose. 2021 was the first year since 2006 that I didn't travel. This is only sustainable if I'm making funeral arrangements. This morning was very foggy, but now it's clearing. My life has been like that. Kåre Enga c/o The Blogs 22 Lost Lane, Blogville Will be 'return to sender' until further notice. 5574 |
| "so baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle..." Comment from "Bad Buddies" ep. 10. Wouldn't it be nice? I'm sure people have tried to reach out to me... I know I've tried to reach out to them. In my world it doesn't seem to work out. If I cut out everything and everybody that annoys me right now I'll be left with nothing and no one. It's 01:23 and time to take a shower and go to bed. I won't accomplish anything more tonight.    I scored a cheeseburger. The patty was quite flavorful... .Saw Don, Dalton, Laxmi, Naketa. Went to LePetit and ate 3 scones. It was good to get out.   Watching "Bad Buddies" ep. 11. It ends next week. Very good series because of the acting and storyline. It's somewhat believable and avoids easy cliches. The BL genre is becoming layered with other genres as it 'matures'. It's adding depth as more money = better filming and stories. Thailand is more than just the capital, Krungthep, or the upper class. Sadly, "Bad Buddies" is well-to-do and university; but, it breaks other taboos, like GL and real-life parents.    I told Andra: My parents sheltered me. Of course, I was very withdrawn and 'hid' so that didn't help. I was frightened of anyone my age and avoided them. I was neither self-reliant nor independent. I was clueless when I went to university and suffered for my ignorance. But... I did start to bloom, until an early frost nipped me in the bud when I was 21. It's been needlessly rough all my life because I still withdraw and hide. Whether it's abuse or neglect it's the same thing, a lack of good parenting skills. I told Harlow Flick: Yep. A walnut tree has nothing on you! Do squirrels try to stash you away? We had the 'gun' talk at the Senior Center today. I lived in an inner city 'bad' neighborhood and didn't have the fear they share. I suggested looking into people's eyes and knowing them by name. I will suggest self-defense classes next. Guns only work at a distance and not even then. I don't feel fear when I travel in non-gun countries like Japan or Taiwan. But they made a valid point. This is Montana. Yep, I get that. Montana is no safer than that 'bad bad' place I once called home. |
| Matzo lasagna: Mushrooms, ricotta, shallots, swiss cheese, ground pork (obviously not kosher!) layered between matzo with parmesan cheese on top, baked at 400 degrees. Turned out very good. I even took pictures because it looked good.  Why? I had sheets of matzo I wanted to use up. Same with the shallots I bought in October. Plus, I try not to waste. I think it came out to 2-4 portions. I ate some, then ate some more, then finished it off. I have very little room in my refrigerator cube so leftovers are a nice idea but not that practical. This is my life... I had a rough night (eye, jaw, neck/head, sneezing) but felt better after I got to speak with Billie Jo and Angie today. Since then? Basic nourishment and coffee. I need to look at this month's contests and enter them as best I can. My own challenge? Not going well, but my expectations may have been misaligned with the reality of readers and writers here at WDC. I hid some folks from my Newsfeed. Fortunately, they still come up on my favorites, but not on my Community feed? *Ack* I just wanted peace and quiet from raffles and what I consider site-wide silliness. Others do enjoy a party atmosphere but I don't. It's also dishearteniing when I see popular people garnering 20 badges because it's their birthday or a handful because it's their WDC anniversary. I can't compete by giving out merit badges for actual writing when breathing warrants more-than-one. CRs... a pox on this house, imo. I have work to do... but I'm avoiding it. Not a good sign. Apathy on a beautiful sunny day? |
| My disappointment deepens but more important things get in the way. I need to state unequivocally what I stand for. I'm being misunderstood and mislabeled by many here at WDC, a social-media site where the white-anglo narrative drowns out other voices. There are reasons why the minorities and marginalized members send each other emails and private comments rather than stoke the embers by really stating what they think in blogs and/or on the Newsfeed. It's hard to know what others think if the aren't sharing their thoughts. Some presumptions about sex: That you're male or female based on your name. That your gender aligns with your biological body. That your sexual orientation can be discerned by how you write. That the above are discrete categories that can be labeled. That you're 'one of us' or 'one of them'. That what matters to you matters to others. (So much drama about plumbing) I struggle with this one because I'm a blogger and a traveler and people's eye glaze over when I speak as it's not a part of their world. Eating, watching reruns, cheering the local team ... is ... but, at least among old people sharing our ailments helps us connect with those who may have a solution. Basically folks make the presumptions that you are: either Christian or anti-Christian (because that's how many black/white Christians think); monolingual or English first language because we use mostly English on this website; that you're White or that you're identity is White or that White is somehow better; that people can't be more than one thing at the same time; that people can't get along and don't have friends/family who are different. I am guilty of specific presumptions but I grew up in a culture similar to the former president where everyone one was a nigger or a good nigger depending on whether you were friends or not. Same with kike, faggot, pinko, raghead, fatso, wetback... I did not grow up among refined people and didn't totally appreciate how good they were regardless of how crude they were. I was kept under lock-and-key. But I broke out. Many writers here have narrow experiences due to upbringing, poverty, fear of others, or just the society or culture they choose (mostly) choose to live with. Many neighborhoods, schools, churches are mono-cultural. How do I know this? I read blogs. Sooner than later beliefs and life experiences come to light as a blogger has to blog about something! Even writing this I'm aware I have nothing to write about because I'm doing nothing. I barely go out. It was covid, freezing cold, my swollen eye, the ice... always some excuse. What am I going to say that I haven't said before ad nauseum. My world is small when I sit at home. Yesterday, I sat with Nancy (who I don't know); she's my age and moving to a smaller 3 bedroom house (I live in two rooms)... she has tons of stuff to get rid of because her husband was a contractor but died in an accident at age 62. They had plans... now she doesn't. Her life is very different than mine. Maybe she'll share memories of Thailand from 40 years ago when she traveled with family... maybe not. I'll find some way to connect as I try to navigate the mindfield of politics and religion. To avoid unpleasantries (they are draining) we stick to safe topics. Among writers the 'safe' discussions revolve around commas. Should I bother to mention that Thai doesn't use them? That words are written together, that a space is used instead of a period, that they communicate quite well thank-you without having 20 words for snow? I wonder whether they think English speakers are disrespectful for not having a dozen pronouns indicating status and relationships. So, yeah, how can you know what my value system is when I don't clearly state it in your language in a way you'll understand? And how can you understand if you don't have any experience with where-I'm-coming-from? Many elders are lacking certain experiences and many young folks haven't had the chance; sadly, many IRL and at WDC will never seek those experiences. I for one will never go bungie-jumping... just like people here are frightened by strangers. I do need to write that blog or essay. Someday... not today. 5555 |
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