%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
the metamorphosis from me to ME along the journey |
|
~~METAMORPHOSIS -1~~ on the journey AN ACCOUNT OF MY LEARNING, POEMING AND LIFE-J0OURNEY, 09/18/09ff ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++THIS IS TO BE READ BY ALL WHO DARE TO READ AND ENJOY!!!**!!!*** +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 This is my inaugural entry in this journal. This is really a fun and rewarding way to do this!! I am looking forward to filling these pages, and more!!!. . |
| GRACIOUS!! I didn't realize how big a hiatus I have taken until I just checked. I have sort of checked out for a few weeks inadvertantly. I am back now, to myself and to WDC. I am not sure what either catalist has been--either the leaving or returning--but I'm glad it is over. I suspect it has been some form of depression, motivated by some of the s--- that goes on here on a minute-ly basis. The new dishwasher is superb!! Makes my life much easier. As chief cook and bottle washer of this milieu, it makes my life incredibly better! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  |
| It is a typical Saturday here. We are still in the beginning stages, unbelievably, of the dishwasher installation. It is actually HERE now; it supposedly will be in place tomorrow. We're having flyilngl pig for dinner, too. The installers are flying in on the pigs and then we are going to have a BBQ. |
| FIRST FIVE MINUTES . natural!' what the hell does that mean?? that's like saying . flying to book engagements makes me a natural . bird, too! well, maybe. I am! SECOND FIVE-MINUTE DRILL--rhymed poetry. Yeah, right!. Not quite! My plight: to write for right Too tight? Or trite?. Alright, in sight: my fight! Too bright?? YOUR LIGHT! © Copyright 2009 Jennyj (UN: jennyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. Jennyj has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. --->> Now What? View Jennyj's FIRST FIVE MINUTES . natural!' what the hell does that mean?? that's like saying . flying to book engagements makes me a natural . bird, too! well, maybe. I am! SECOND FIVE-MINUTE DRILL--rhymed poetry. Yeah, right!. Not quite! My plight: to write for right Too tight? Or trite?. Alright, in sight: my fight! Too bright?? YOUR LIGHT! © Copyright 2009 Jennyj (UN: jennyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. Jennyj has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. --->> Now What? View Jennyj's FIRST FIVE MINUTES . natural!' what the hell does that mean?? that's like saying . flying to book engagements makes me a natural . bird, too! well, maybe. I am! SECOND FIVE-MINUTE DRILL--rhymed poetry. Yeah, right!. Not quite! My plight: to write for right Too tight? Or trite?. Alright, in sight: my fight! Too bright?? YOUR LIGHT! © Copyright 2009 Jennyj (UN: jennyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. Jennyj has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. --->> Now What? View Jennyj's FIRST FIVE MINUTES . natural!' what the hell does that mean?? that's like saying . flying to book engagements makes me a natural . bird, too! well, maybe. I am! SECOND FIVE-MINUTE DRILL--rhymed poetry. Yeah, right!. Not quite! My plight: to write for right Too tight? Or trite?. Alright, in sight: my fight! Too bright?? YOUR LIGHT! © Copyright 2009 Jennyj (UN: jennyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. Jennyj has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. --->> Now What? View Jennyj's ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Today, I want to reflect ona poem that I wrote on 10/5 and reflected on on 10/6 in my paper journal. The actual poem is below: Prompt: Write a story or poem about arguing with someone or something that doesn't respond (or even understand). WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?? (I hope you're going back soon!!) Are we still on the same planet?? I'm just not sure that we are!! I'm willing to place a safe bet.. that your focus has gone far from understanding what I say; I know what you really want is simply, mindlessly, to play with my mind, trying to taunt my sanity, a scarcity, since we moved in to live here: the same house with your family! My mental health has lost gears! This was a pretty harsh invective!! My journaling in tresponse to it: Is the entry directed at me?? Not an outsider, but ME--because all of that is appropriate for my response to MYSELF, as I get less hostile and more accepting. (I'm going to have to finish for now, but should be back Friday evening to finish!) } |
| I am a little overwhelmed by this day!! In the middle of my VERY PUBLIC writing space this afternoonl, Rick and Von pulled the old dishwasher out, in preparation for Sandra's birthday on 10/10! They also had to clean out the soap cabinet to get it completely detached! Talk about noise, stink and mess! What an artifact of family history! Now, all that we need is the new dishwasher!! All the prep and demo are now a thing of the past!:) The obstacle to my typing seems to have been the arms of my chair. I have raised them to their upright and locked position and my typing and BALANCE have improved greatly! Great advances all around, today!! and , again!! |
| For today's entry, I am going to start with text that I have written this week as part of my Sunrise class, about my adventures in walking; I want to respond to what I have said. To weigh and measure and decide if I am really in touch with reality, or am just fooling myself. Here goes everything. . . . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am taking a slightly different twist on this segment: I am going to try to describe my experience of being in a wheelchair and trying to learn to walk again! I have been in my chair for about 4 years; I was on crutches before ta=hat, but broke my elbow and couldn't do the crutches anymore. If I had known that abandoning them was going to be a permanent thing, I would have thought twice!! My experience has been that once I quit walking, I quit. Noone warned me that would happen! Now, I stand myself up slowly at the side of the bed and count the seconds as they tick off loudly on the wall clock; that is for both strength and balance. I am working at standing myself up at the kitchen sink for similar reasons. There, I can balance against the sink, and ultimately maech in place for, again, strength. After I get to where I can stand for greater than one trembling minute without losing my breath and seeing stars I will try to march in place and do gentle leg dipsfor-you guessed it! Strength and balance! I have been in physical rehab enough times that I know some great exercises, and make myself do them whenever possible. I have now just STOOD UP at the sink for about 15 seconds, the longest ever so far have to be careful 1) not to fall, and 2)not to get caught by anyone except my hubby;he is really the only one besidrs me who even thinks I should even be trying this! I'll show them otherwise!! ******************************************************************************************************* Wow. That leaves me out of breath and seeing stars--and I'm just sitting at the table! The enormity of the uncertainty and chutzpah involved with this crazy venture gives me chills. Makes me want to barf. And, there's no turning back, to be true to my heart. And what I want so badly out of our lives, for me and for Rick. I realistically know that even if I can only get stronger, that will still help Rick and my mobility , I should be more specific about helping dear Rick. I am 6 feet tall, Not a small woman. I have medium bones. My inseam for my slacks is 36 inches; I am mostly leg! My legs, to the top of my hips, are more than 3 1/2 feet tall. So, I am not all that easy to move. Rick also is 6 feet tall. It is a bit of a struggle for him to have to pick me up and put me in the chair; if all I can manage to do is help with that proceedure, it will be worth the struggle! The ullllimate walk, however far I can manage, will just be a bonus for doing the work! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I didn't mean to enter my multivalence stuff in the journal; I was just so freaked out by having no Net and being unable to do anything that I just entered it i the first place I could find! That, and the fact that I've had constant company and input all day! I actually live in a smallish house with 4 other adults; I am the "middle" child age-wise. The residents are, in order, Carole, my husband Rick's first cousin, Sandra, Rick's sister and my sister-in-law, Me, Rick. and Von, Sandra's son. I sit at the family kitchen table, in the middle of things. The hot seat. And because I look so un-occupied (I'm either writing or reading, I aM a SITTING DUCK!! RICK CALLS ME THE DORM MOTHER. That is not too far from the truth! I love them all, though, and have known most of them for over 31 years! (Dan Sturn’s concept of Multivalence speaks to the poet as s/he receives inspiration and initial spark for the work being formulated, creates the piece, and evaluates the finished work. It is a two “tripod” process, with the two contributing tripods being identified by Sturn as being the “Who” tripod, or “who is acting,” in the forms of the listener, muse, and reader, and the “How” tripod, or “how the action is being carried out.” in the forms of Listening, Crafting and Reacting. Dan Sturn’s concept of Multivalence speaks to the poet as s/he receives inspiration and initial spark for the work being formulated, creates the piece, and evaluates the finished work. It is a two “tripod” process, with the two contributing tripods being identified by Sturn as being the “Who” tripod, or “who is acting,” in the forms of the listener, muse, and reader, and the “How” tripod, or “how the action is being carried out.” in the forms of Listening, Crafting and Reacting.) My view of the use of Multivalence as a method of interpreting the poetic process is that its relevance and truth resonate deep within me as something I have always felt but could never find adequate words for, I have always viewed the muse as a sort of conduit through which poems appear--my actual wording is that "I feel a poem coming through." I have never been able to quantify that experience until now. Thank you, Dan Sturn! |
| I have bitten off a frightening amoumt--I have become a part of the Paper Doll Gang, focusing on the Newbie experience and strengthening writing skills. It will add some additional writing to every day, and will be a challenge. I've been longing for enough to keep me busy and unbored; this will do it!! I will get a lot of new experiences, and meet tons of new people. I will just have to be sure I'm really together and on top of things. I don't dare let myself get behind! My typing has suffered since working with those laptops. The damage my left hand experienced from the staph infection in 2005 and the resulting drastic corrective surgery, have made my left hand not be as coordinated as it once was. It is still strong, can eat and write and work as well as before--it is just not the same. Won't straighten out. Probably won't play the piano or violin anymore. Not like I've ever been good at those--they were just sort of fun dreams. I just need to work on this typing; speed is not that important, but accuracy is! I can tell that even after typing this entry slowly, I have improved a little bit. Stray, strange letters have quit appering in my words now. I just need to do this slowly, intentionally, and more often. Once again, I have drunk FIVE cups of coffee today. The last time we checked my blood pressure, it was 124/83, again after 5 cups. I've quit having blood pessure-related migraines. Whatever else this new life holds for me, it holds less stress. More contemplation, albeit in a very loud room, usually with screaming and shooting on the TV. There are usually people in the room with me, often talking to me, each other, or themselves. Like I've said, quiet is at a premium here. Sometimes, it's hard to stay positive. But it's not in my makeup to not be happy. And, I know if I just hang out for a few minutes, it change. . . . . |
| I am now going to reflect on how well this wisdom from Mark Twain resonates with my soul right now: Journey Begins! "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain This resonates with me because I have caught a vivid gimpse of what REALLY matters after what I consider to be my SHATTERING relocation and unexpected dismantlement of my formerly secure life. I realize that I DO have my family intact, cats and all, and that we are much "better off" here, not in a money sense, but in a whole-life sense. We haven't lost ANYTHING that we can't get back, replicate, replace, or do without! The fact that I am not my usual wildly happy self is situational, and nothing else. That happiness is coming back, slowly. It will just come at its own pace. Whether I like it or not! And so, if I donm't ermbrace this change now and play along with it until all of me is fully on board. I know that I will miss the good that is inherent in it, and the opportunities that are boundless. Just because I'm stuck in a pout doesn't mean that life is bad. Just because some stuff is ucky, that doesn't give me grounds for acting out. I need to deal with that,' painful as it seems. Just because I'm not tickled with everything doesn't mean that I should ;put off exploring, dreaming, or discovering! |
| September 24, 2009 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is turning out to be another one of my highly jumbled, confusing days!! It is Allen's birthday; I started my day out by callinvg him and wishing him a happy day. He sounds better than he did last week, about his job. It's always disarming to hear distress in his voice. Whatever angst his age causes him, I'll ALWAYS be older!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The balance of sanity has shifted in the house today: Calvin-the-Cat, one of the BedHeads, has escaped from our room and is on the loose! I can tell that both KitchenCats, Pumpkin Pie and Shadow, are really pissed off about that. Calvin isn't overly friendly, either with humans or other cats! He's just so much better off locked in with the rest of the BedHeads!! Right now, he is just pretending to eat al of their food. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I am enjoying this journal immensely! I want to get in the habit of journaling at last once per day again. I know that there will be assignment-related entries. It is my long-held belief that a unified record of life as opposed to a bifurcated record of goings-on and class experiences, is more honestly an account of the whole jenny. The whole jenny is what I've been striving to preserve and nurture all this time; that hasn't ended. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My classes are going well so far! As I alluded to earlier, I may have bitten off as much as I can handle, given this milleu. Quiet is at an absolute premium here. Solitude is unheard of. I guess that is an only-child legacy that I'll never quit enjoying or valuing. Now that I'm part of a herd, I jut need to plan my quiet and solitude with precision, I want my experience in The Journey workshop to enable me to be a more intentional poet; more deliberate and focused. This is really my first exposure to intentional poetry, whatever that means. The first time I have openly acknowleddged myself as as post for real and not just in jest. Anyway, I intend to spend about an hour per day on each class, and an hour preparing my Cramp entry. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
