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Just got the best surprise in a long time...from an anonymous person. |
Size: 54 Entries
Created: March 23rd, 2010 at 2:00am
Modified: June 15th, 2010 at 11:27am
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Today i woke up on time, but i wasn't feeling like myself. This has been happening a lot lately, i don't know what's going on. I've avoided anything that will make me look at myself and wonder what i have become.today however things turned out different. I decided to check out my writing.com account and there it was...The one thing i have been working for, wanting so bad but it was beyond my reach. I received an upgraded membership from an anonymous person. Maybe for some people its not something big, but come on, i can now set up the blog I have always wanted to. So now no more excuses, no more lying to myself and procrastinating day after day. This is my chance to do something, not for the sake of doing it but because i love it. Welcome everyone, i am so excited just wish you could see my face. This is even better than my CAT results yesterday. This is way above stealing candy from the jar as a kid. That was fun, no doubt about it but its a new beginning that i am ready for (i think). And for what its worth i am really grateful to the person who sent me this. I owe you. Watch this space
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I am not very good when it comes to making choices which is why it is a very bad idea to give me more than two choices to choose from. I think that’s part of the reason I never pass in exams where they bring multiple choice questions. My brother made that mistake today, for the past two weeks or so I have been bugging him about my lack of good music in my P.C. He promised he’d bring me a collection and finally today he finally came. Of course when he said collection, I thought it would be on a C.D or flash disc for that matter but instead he came with a laptop with folder after folder of all songs I had ever imagined. I knew it was a bad idea to choose for myself but I still wanted to give it a try anyway. I started at 6.30 p.m. I had dance practice at 7.30 p.m. and group discussion after that. In my head, I still had a lot of time so I started the process of selecting 150 good songs from the list of over 100 songs. Let’s just say, some people are not very happy with me. I got at least three missed calls from people wondering when I was going to show up for the practice. At 9.30 p.m. I had to call one of my group members and explain why I was still in my room, 1hr after the time we had agreed to meet. I have learnt an important lesson today, and even though I might forget it tomorrow I am counting on you to remind me to stay away from extremely hard tasks like the one I subjected myself to today.
Choices aside, I made a vow to try and be neutral in the coming up varsity elections. Voting last time was fun but this time people are getting too personal and from experience I know things might not end well and I do not want to be caught up in the cross fire. My decision might not be taken so well by some people especially those who are counting on me to mobilize votes for them, but I’ve got to do the right thing here.
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| Times like these are when it is embarrassing to be a campus student. A few weeks ago a female student was beaten during a black out all because she went to campaign in some one’s turf. Politics influence many of the things and people around us so even if I am not a fan; it pays to know what is going on. Political temperatures are running high and I pray that things do not become any worse than they already are. Forgive me for thinking that people who are in university are mature people, who are not shaken by petty things and who can do better than beat up someone because of his or her view. Yesterday another candidate was booed down in class because of being courageous enough to go against popular belief. Every one is entitled to their opinion and even if you disagree there are better ways of expressing your self than getting personal in an attempt to hurt someone. The person got hurt alright and I can imagine what he must be going through right now. This is why I have put my foot down and said that if someone can not see there is something wrong with this system we so love to follow then I will be the voice that speaks out against these injustices. True some of these people have made mistakes in the past but haven’t we all? Who then feels they are justified enough to deny another person the chance to speak and be heard. Campus politics did not start today and it will not end tomorrow. When our four years come to an end, we will all go out into the world and you never know who you’ll run into. A wise man knows when to speak and when to keep quiet. Be careful how you treat those around you, they might hold the key to your destiny, you never know... |
April 19, 2010 at 10:12am
April 19, 2010 at 10:12am
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I’ve got to say I never imagined I’d live to see this day. Yet, here I am about to tell you that dreams do come true, and most times they do when you least expect it. I had the crappiest weekend ever and by yesterday I just wanted the weekend to end at least then I’d be back at school too stressed about other things to think about the weekend. Lets just say someone thought we don’t need water and we had to survive on rain water which in case I haven’t mentioned is not as clean as most think it is. Anyway I’m just thankful that two days later I haven’t seen or had signs of a disease outbreak so am guessing my immunity is stronger than I give it credit for.
We got our biostatistics papers today and well I love mathematics but when you’ve scored 96% in your previous paper even a 94% can be disappointing. That’s one of the reasons I was anxious about that particular paper. I knew I had performed well but how well? That I didn’t know and to tell the truth I didn’t want to find out. My friend convinced me it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I went to check. This is the part where I am supposed to faint but I didn’t, I was just too shocked to do or say anything. I scored 1000% call me what you like but a genius is ok with me. I am mostly grateful because though I worked really hard for that paper I knew I didn’t do it alone. God was by my side guiding me through each step and pushing me on every time I thought I was too tired to read. I thank my friends who made me feel like a genius even when I failed in the past. I owe you one guys and I pray that someday I can show you just how much. This week just rocks and I hope it gets better but either way, this day is a day am not forgetting anytime soon. I was thinking of framing the paper an sticking it on my wall but someone convinced me otherwise. Between me and you I’m still thinking about it, but for the time being its going into my private collection. Who knows someday I might become famous and it could be auctioned for a lot of money-really?- but for real I’m just very happy and feeling very good about myself am even treating myself to my favourite delicacy.
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| I am off to home, can't belive i don't have classes today. This is like the best day in the whole world. Don't even get me started. I think am hitting the video store first-don't blame me for being an addict and get movies that will keep me occupied all weekend. It's so cold anyway i am sure i will not step out of the house. I would have gone at 11 o'clock but it was still raining so i have been in the computer lab doing what i do best. Thing is i know sometime soon i will have to cut back on all these luxuries but before then who says i can't enjoy all of it while it lasts. I really feel for those who have classes in the afternoon. Whoever comes up with these timetables should be sued for subjecting people to torture on a friday afternoon. If everyone was sincere they would admit that by friday their minds have already switched off and the only thing on their mind is the weekend. Anyway i've got to rush, you just hold on in there next time it could be you sitting in my place and i'm the one stuck sulking in class. |
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| Ever had one of those days when you wake up feeling that something is not right but you don’t really know what. I had one of them today and the feeling is still there. I don’t know if I should be worried or am just plain paranoid but my 6th sense has never failed me and I won’t begin doubting it know. It’s weird because most of the things I expected to go wrong worked out. Take an example of when I woke up today and the taps had dried up…again. I had to go look for water to take a bath, I got late for class and what do you know the lecturer hadn’t even started. If I believed in luck I would have said this was my lucky day. Then I missed breakfast and the break we had was so short I couldn’t rush anywhere to take tea but my class after break lasted only 1hr and 15 minutes by 11.15 a.m. I was free and took my breakfast cum lunch with no hurry. I didn’t feel like going for afternoon class, we were scheduled to go for a trip to the farm, it rained heavily just a few minutes to time and the trip got cancelled and just like that I had a free afternoon. Which is why I don’t understand why this feeling won’t go away. I even tried repeating over and over again that nothing will go wrong. It worked for sometime but now it’s back stronger than ever and I have a feeling it has to do with a certain someone I told you yesterday. So beginning tonight, it’s operation stay out of sight and hopefully out of mind. If I can just avoid him this coming week, he’s going to get the point and maybe lay low for a bit or so I hope. Anyway thanks for listening to all my whining but hey that’s what friends and strangers are for, isn’t it? |
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| Every time I think am ready to take the risk and jump into a relationship, something happens that reminds me of all the reasons why I am not in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against relationships. If anything I think that they are very healthy. Only I also think that not everyone was meant to be in a relationship and I happen to be part of those select few. There are times I think that I am too independent and maybe selfish, since I have been on my own for so long I don’t how to share my time or anything else. This time though for some time I actually sat down and considered it. The person in question was caring, concerned and willing to wait for me till I was ready. I thought I had finally met someone who would make me reconsider my stand. Something however kept nagging me at the back of my mind; no one could be this perfect. I decided to give it some more time before I told him how I felt. The first time he brought up the issue of my past relationships I thought he was just curious and wanted to know my past. I answered him as best as I could. But the questions kept coming and coming till I became irritated. I tried my best to let him know I wasn’t comfortable and he conceded at least for a few days then the questions came again and this time they were more personal. As much as I know that before getting into something you have to know what it is this is just plain uncomfortable for me and I can’t keep pretending anymore. He should have been content with whatever I gave him. I acknowledge I have a past, but that’s where I want it to remain. He accepted me the way I was when we met, who I dated in the past shouldn’t matter and neither should what I did with those I’ve dated in the past. |
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| Today was probably one of the happiest days I’ve ever had in a long time; the weirdest part is that for the life of me I can not figure out what I was happy about. All I know is that I woke up feeling like sunshine and glowing like I haven’t in a long time. At first I thought it was one of my normal mood swings but it did not fade, the joy just kept building and building till I felt like bursting. I have laughed a lot today and it felt good, I had forgotten how that feels. They say miracles do not exist, I think I just saw one today and it happened to me. Thing is when your ordinary life becomes too extraordinary for you, then you have to look around you, and let your heart show you what your eyes can not see. U read somewhere today that one’s life begins to end the moment that you become silent about things that matter. I was happy today, which is really nothing to report but when all I have been speaking of is how depressed I feel, and how things are not working out for me, then it follows that when things start looking up I should also let you share in my joy. Which is why even though I’d rather be coiled in my warm sheets peacefully sleeping, I want you to know just what a great day I had. My best mate called and I got to give him a piece of my mind, catching up was fun, especially since the last time we talked was yesterday, you think its crazy try days when we keep texting each other the whole day. Hey and for the sake of argument, who is a grown up because someone called me a child and I beg to disagree. The last time checked having an I.D. and the right to vote qualifies me as an adult in the eyes of the state. I could get married and no one would go running to the court shouting child abuse. Just a thought… Sometimes everybody feel trapped in their every day lives but when you lose your everyday life it becomes your best fantasy. Good night |
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| It's a good thing that i don't own a gun nor know any kung fu:at least that way no one gets hurt. Why would anyone scare me like that in an underground parking...of all the places. Not that my reaction wasn't cool and fit to win an oscar but in this time and age only a suicidal person could pull a stunt like that. He was luck i realized who he was when he sprung from behind the pillar. I have 10 items in my bag capable of inflicting lethal damage on anyone i deem to have suspicious motives,not to mention my penknife which if am really scared i can make it look like those slim knives spies pull out from their heels. Which reminds me i saw a gorgeus pair of stilettos in Chuck-the programme,can't remember the episode but damn those shoes i could fight for. The results came out today and i couldn't bring myself to go check them,my pal Hakim saw his and in his own words "I think i need to see a counsellor before i do something stupid." I can't blame him for feeling hopeless because for once i am sailing in the same boat. You close your eyes for a moment and when you open them you are in such a dark place you have no idea where to start. No help is forthcoming and anything you do seems like a waste of energy. Its somewhat like living in a cave where each turn you take brings you back to the beginning. Times like these are when i have to remind myself why i have held on for so long. Its the time to look for the answers we seek within ourselves and for once let everything else be. These are the days when i wake up in the morning,look at my image in the mirror and say: you can,you will make it. Believe in yourself. Its only a bump, get up, dust yourself...its time to get moving. |
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| We rarely go to visit my maternal grandmother, so it was a great surprise when today my mu decided we rush there even if it was just to say hi. I was tired after spending most of the night at a fundraising concert but visits like this come only once in a blue moon so I didn’t want to miss out. If there are two people you never want to mix especially when time is not on your side are my mum and her last born sister. And that is exactly who my mum called to go with us to my grandma’s place. Good thing though is that Aunt P. is fun and she never runs out of stories to tell. One thing we are always assured of with her is that you’ll never have a dull moment. So we set off after we ate lunch, 2hrs later we were still on the way, sitting in a café sipping some cold drinks as we waited for Aunt P to show up, and thirty more minutes before she and my mum agreed which car they wanted to take. At the end of it all we got to my grandma’s place, no one was home; my grandma was off to a neighbor’s to join them in celebrating their golden jubilee. When she did come, she looked health, the age is getting to her but her smile is intact, her joy at seeing us is hard to describe in words. She fussed over me and my sister like we were still kids but its ok grandma’s are supposed to do that. It reminded me the importance of family in each of our lives, helped me that no matter how big I become, I will always be grateful that I have an even bigger family to help me celebrate each and every accomplishment. And when things do not go as I expect I can always go home an they will love me the some, welcome me with open arms and we can still share jokes, laugh, argue make up, for without family, where would we be? |
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i had a great time yesterday which is why i can't understand why i feel so guilty. Maybe it was just the wrong time to be having fun or i wasn't ready to give myself a break at the time. I borrowed a book yesterday that i had vowed to read through the night, and that's part of the reason i feel so bad that i spent half of the night out, laughing, and having a good time.
I like to think that am not easily influenced by my peers but something happened yesterday that made me think otherwise. It should have been a downright no when my friends suggested i go with a guy i didn't really know at 11 o'clock at night. But i played along and i went with him till his house then my conscience returned and i was out of the door before he even had a chance to say anything. It was a close call and it should never happen again. At least not unless its my own decision and i know what am doing. This time i have given myself a challenge, to make my own decisions and try as much as possible to make them about me and not about what others want or expect of me. If i am going to face the consequences it might as well be for something i wanted to do. |
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