%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
just your average... er... correction: just your normal... correction: me. |
| The original title of this was "The Oscilloscope"... but too many days passed without a single page view. And then I wanted "Fighting the Current (hey... my canoe's missing!!!)" but no matter what I did to the title, it was at least 10 characters too long -- so I eventually just cut it off. All the titles do have multiple meanings though. This is my journal, as you probably know. We'll just have to see what I can do with it... I might write what's going on in my life, but it will most likely write whatever I feel like at the moment. Kind of like what I use as titles... |
| Lightning, but not near enough or frequent enough to merit shutting down the computer. Orchestra played for the graduation today. That went well. Came home, got ready. Family came over to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. Remind me never to argue with my elders, even if I am right. Felt bad about not being able to stay, but I see them often enough. Party tonight. I had fun. Watched "The Ring". It wasn't that bad. What bothered me was that it would have these awesome scenes and then switch back to your typical Hollywood-style footage, even throughout the "real" scenes. Not a bad movie, not great. They could have done a better job I think. It cracked me up though, I was the only girl in the room not shrieking and jumping out of my seat. And I was sitting in the absolute worst spot for that movie--right on the end of the couch, so people would come up behind me either to scare me (didn't work) or just to stand there (although I usually knew by shadows, sounds, etc.) or they'd sit next to the side of the couch, just in my peripheral vision. Conversation of the night: "Please go North, please go North..." "THAT'S NORTH!" "Huh?" "NORTH! NORTH! To the Right!" [a minute later] "What are we doing on North?!" "You wanted North!" "No! I wanted South!" "You said you wanted North!" "I was talking to the truck! I talk to other drivers!" "We thought you were talking to the road!" We made it there intact anyway, lol. Coffee House last night. Less of a flop than the last, but a flop, nonetheless. Except for the microphone hogs, it was fun. Note to all reading this: If you want to tell a funny story in front of a large group, tell one story at a time--which means no rambling from one to the other and standing there staring at the ceiling for several minutes trying to think of a good story. And, most importantly, make sure it has a point (besides trying to embarrass family members--especially failing at that)! (And, surprisingly enough, it was not my brother or myself doing this. I got up after that person and told a quick story that actually succeeded at making people laugh through most of it, and one which had a point, or at least a decent ending.) Happy June! (In unison... again. ::eye roll::) My thoughts have been roiling worse than usual recently, I should either go and write it all out for myself or go to sleep. Either way, good night. Or good morning, depending on how much of a stickler you are for midnight as the beginning of morning. |
| Good day overall. First day in several which I did not wake up and go to sleep with a bad headache. (And Pshaw and I compensate yet again...) Okay, good except for a completely out of nowhere bloody nose, but that was it. Church at 9 or 9:30, I wasn't entirely with it when I walked out the door. Got there, sat with my grandparents. Got home, went immediately outside with my camera. Did homework for my class. Had a good breakfast/lunch (I just didn't really eat until noon or 1 or so). Got out my flute and my old sheet music. Played through almost everything I've ever played, I need to find either more challenging or just different music. Discovered I can make the songs from Titanic even more Irish sounding than they're written. Then I got an impromtu guitar lesson from my mom. I had tuned my brother's three-quarter, but I couldn't find any of the books and got really bored of scales, so I asked her where the books were and somehow she ended up saying, "I should really teach you." "All right, then teach me." "Right now?" "Sure!" Caught her off guard but we did have a little lesson. lol, I was expecting her to have something else to do, but I was lucky that time. I was very happy about that. My fingers are still sensitive, but I have a bunch of books (which she had hidden somewhere) and things now and was shown a few important chords. Class tonight went well. Good teacher it seems, interesting topic. I am so terrible with the date. Well, time in general I have trouble with. I can never remember when I spoke with people or when things happened or the exact order things happened in... I couldn't get the date right today because I think I was inserting a random day into the week, or thinking that today was Wednesday or something. Shit. None of your concern. Almost midnight, this is my strange Karmic payback for having had a good day. Tomorrow may be hell. Equal and opposite reactions. Every good thing is balanced by an equally bad thing, in my life at least. Everything balances out.... Bed. |
| Put together what I got for my senior. Just about one year left. Absolutely terrifying. A friend said to me, "All of your teachers sound like such characters." I replied, "It's all how you tell it.... Not that they aren't characters to begin with." Rediscovered why exactly I never learned Nirvana's lyrics: Kurt Cobain mumbled even worse on the recordings than he does in my mental versions of the songs. In other news, it's hard to even mildly headbang at midnight with a migraine/sinus/whatever-the-hell-it-is headache (although it is somewhat dulled by Advil). Anthropology course started tonight. Seems like it'll be a good one. It cracked me up that the only piece missing from a friend's chess board was a black knight. Elated about my Trig grade. 97.5 on the final exam; granted, I did have some help studying. B+ for the year. English final, I got a 96 on. I'm not quite sure how that worked out, there is no way I only got four wrong. I'm not questioning. I don't care to figure out the mathematics of it (if there were any involved at all). In this case, ignorance is bliss. I'm happy with the grade and I know I'd feel guilty if I discovered that something was amiss to my eyes. She must have curved or something, because apparently everyone did well. Wasn't very happy with the literary magazine this year though. It just wasn't as good as other years. (At least we cut out 90% of the poorly written poems about families being stereotypical Italians...) We'll see what happens next year. Hungry again. I just ate an hour and a half ago. Popcorn and cookies. I need to find healthier snacks. My eyes are shutting of their own accord. I think that's a signal for sleep. |
| Been reading tonight about the ideas of time and space in ancient and modern cultures as well as within religious contexts. The Western idea that time and space are separate entities was the odd one out. The thought that time and space are entirely different and that time is purely linear are really strange concepts when you look at non-Western cultures' ideas. Every other culture I've read up on has thought that time is cyclical in some form or another, with either multiple beginnings and endings or no beginning and/or end, and that time and space are one entity. In fact, it's only the Westerners of the past thousand or so years who thought that time is entirely separate from space. In an attempt to rid Europe of Pagan ideas, the interpretation of time as cyclical (and such ideas, among many others) was eradicated. So the ideas of modern physicists that space and time are one in some fourth dimension are not truly new. They have not said that time is cyclical, and stay away from the beginning or end of time (the Big Bang doesn't count), but they have found loopholes in their own theories which say that time can be bent, that it may not be as linear as we think it is. Oh, the things I do in my spare time/space. Actually, I was looking for specific answers to something very vague and was sidetracked, lol. Fascinating subject though... Have a hanging plant (can't remember the name of it, but it creeps and it looks almost like ivy but isn't related to it) in my room now. I just need to find a place for my windchimes. Got a good number of plants for my rock garden, since I had a gift card and was owed plants by my parents (lol, a short story which I don't feel like telling). There was something else I meant to write in this entry. I'll remember it as soon as I go upstairs. Entropy. The condition of order falling into disorder. My room is one entropic glacier which works on the cycles of the moon's waxings and wanings. It spreads, it recedes, it spreads, it recedes, order to disorder. Remembered it. My brothers just waged the invasion of Normand-why on B-Day by staging an amphibious attack on the hallway door with lots of yelling in unison. Bed. |
| The past 48 hours have been very eventful (relative to my life, lol). Yesterday I visited a college, had an interview with the admissions officer there, spent about an hour or two at home, planned the next coffee house, went over a friend's house (which is only 20 miles, but an hour, away ::eye roll::) to sleep over. We watched movies and chatted until about 2 AM when we decided to go get snacks in the kitchen. While we were in there, we heard her dog (a rottweiler mix) growling fervently at something in the living room. We got up to check it out. The hair on the dog's back was bristling, but we saw nothing in that room, so we went to check the doors to make sure they were locked. We were freaked out, on the verge of getting knives out of the drawers for defense when we discovered that there was nothing out of place, there was nobody in the house who was not supposed to be there. So we sat in the kitchen, still completely spooked, until the dog calmed down and went back to sleep. Old houses... that's all I have to say. Rest of the night was nothing unique, lol. This morning we went to go see the 10:30 showing of Matrix II. Turns out, the internet lied to us and there wasn't a showing until 12:30. The parking lot was deserted except for two cars. So my friend's mother decided to ask the very shady people in the one car if they were waiting for the theater to open. (::another eye roll::) Needless to say, they weren't. But we had over an hour to kill, so we walked around the park nearby, mainly looking for a mansion that my friend had seen once before with a friend (and no one had believed them). We found it within twenty minutes, after following mostly-unused paths through the woods and trailblazing a few paths. We also came across a sculpture in the middle of the woods near that mansion. It's a giant stacking of newspapers (all the same date, as near as we could tell). It looked like stone from a distance. 12:30 rolled around and we saw Matrix: Reloaded. I liked it, but it wasn't as good as the first. Didn't mind that it was a cliffhanger, but certain things about the movie bothered me (especially how some effects were too obviously CGI and the length of some of the scenes). Liked the music of the second movie better than the first. And it's vaguely annoying that I never finished any of my Matrix fan fictions based on the first movie. Several of the ideas which appeared only in the sequel I had already intertwined into my unfleshed plots. Sometimes it was exactly the ideas I had, sometimes it was just an extremely similar idea. ::shrug:: Good at seeing patterns and making theories and building up ideas from movies and other media. Have yet to burn everything from my computer onto CD so we can reload Windows and generally try to fix this infernal machine. I really don't think it will do much, but my dad is convinced. It's interesting to sit through Mass with Buddhist chants in your head. |
| Still slightly burnt up about my English final. A teacher should not tell her students one thing and then do the exact opposite--especially on a final exam; it's downright cruel. And she gets this horrible, evil smirk on her face when she does an "Oops, I lied." And I had been thinking slightly more highly of her recently. What's done is done. I'd fight, but I try to chose fights that I have a shot at winning. On a much better note, my interview went very, very well. I have employment. Going to be a shelver at the library for the summer and through the school year. Re-edited ten pages and then some today. I hadn't realized how many contractions I'd missed on my first run through. Okay, I'll humor Hardra. Visit this site: http://www.geocities.com/dracodoesstuff (It's completely non-pornographic, despite the name.) So much déjà vu recently. Can't tell if it really is déjà vu or if it's just similar experiences. "If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all okay And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful And useless in times like these" - "Hands," Jewel |
| Well, I actually did go back and throw the results of that percentages quiz. Here are the details for "Vigilant," my second highest type. Vigilant (Relationships) Possess an exceptional awareness of their environment. Survivors, antennae. Naturally assume role of social critic/watchdog. Autonomy: Vigilant-Style individuals possess a resilient independence. They keep their own counsel, they require no outside reassurance or advice, they make decisions easily, and they can take care of themselves. Caution: They are careful in their dealings with others, preferring to size up a person before entering into a relationship. Perceptiveness: They are good listeners, with an ear for subtlety, tone, and multiple levels of communication. Self-Defense: Individuals with Vigilant style are feisty and do not hesitate to stand up for themselves, especially when they are under attack. Alertness to Criticism: They take criticism very seriously without becoming intimidated. Fidelity: They place a high premium on fidelity and loyalty. They work hard to earn it, and they never take it for granted. Again, I disagree with parts (specifically: I don't consider myself "feisty," and I don't "make decisions easily"). All else I agree with, especially everything under "Perceptiveness." http://www.personalityonline.com/tests/engine.html?testid=3 |
| Finished studying for English. I might actually read that book if I don't fall into a deep sleep the second I lie down in bed. Feeling a somewhat better, I focused myself on either conversation or studying and nothing else and did not let myself stray. Yawning is a strange thing. Yawns are catchy--one person yawns and the next thing you know, three other people have already yawned. People are generally used to starting and continuing chains of yawns in person, but it's even weirder when people start yawning while reading about yawning. Did you have the urge to yawn at any point during that? ;-Þ I was reading a website and came across this hilarious little story. I know Pshaw posted it in her journal, but it works here as well. Are YOU a problem thinker? It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone--"to relax," I told myself. But I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Source: http://www.psych.upenn.edu/humor.html |
| Trig really wasn't that bad at all. I may have a shot at a 100, but there were a couple questions I was not entirely positive on. Apprehensive tonight. Starting to take on the traits of characters I've hardly created and don't intend to create. English exam tomorrow. It shouldn't be too bad, I hope... I have to read about ten chapters tonight of the worst book I've ever encountered. "Would you listen to the way that guy talks? He's totally verbose!" SAT prep in mystery-novel format. It's verging on physically painful. Distanced tonight. In reading through my paper journal last night I discovered that I must have entries in at least three copybooks besides that journal and this journal. I really need to consolidate. It's confusing when I'm looking for something specific. The only reason why I have to take the English final is because I got a high 80-something on the midterm, which knocked my quarter grade down to a B+ and screwed me over to take this exam. I refuse to just let that go. Yes, I brought it on myself, but if the rules of the English Department had changed with the English Department itself, then I'd be free already!!!! ::breathes:: No patience tonight. Yardwork most of today. Just mindless enough for my thoughts to be somewhat numbed. Cleared out the camera disks, so I can actually take pictures once again--and I did. Words to the wise: do not focus on a tiny 1"x1" screen for extended periods of time after spending all afternoon in the sun. Went out to see the Big Dipper last night. I can finally identify the North Star on my own. Saw a satellite or the space station or something in the upper atmosphere. Beautiful clear night. I could actually see a good number of stars/planets. And it was so cool outside. I would have stayed out there all night if it were possible. I love nights like that. ::sigh:: So tired. School practically ends this week, so one stress is almost entirely gone. Job interview after school tomorrow. College interview Friday (I dunno, they wanted me to do it with the tour). Anthropology course starts next week, although that is something I think I'll enjoy. Back to English or I can't hope to finish. |
| ::sigh:: Latin was okay. Trig/Precalc tomorrow. Not looking forward to it at all. Mom: "You can get a 100 on this exam. You just have to work hard... and pray to Saint Jude." Me: "I thought he was for illness?" Mom: "No, hopeless cases." She was joking, but there was a grain of truth. Took a quiz last night: Type ~ Percent Vigilant ~ 71% Solitary ~ 50% Idiosyncratic ~ 72% Adventurous ~ 36% Mercurial ~ 50% Dramatic ~ 6% Self-Confident ~ 39% Sensitive ~ 43% Devoted ~ 28% Concientous ~ 61% Leisurely ~ 50% Aggressive ~ 25% Self-Sacrificing ~ 56% Idiosyncratic (Self, Real World) Not like anyone else. Dreamers, seekers of the spirit, visionaries, mystics. True originals and they stand out. Inner life: Idiosyncratic individuals are tuned in to and sustained by their own feelings and belief systems, whether or not others accept or understand their particular world view or approach to life. Own World: They are self-directed and independent, requiring few close relationships. Own thing: Oblivious to convention, Idiosyncratic individuals create interesting, unusual, often eccentric lifestyle. Expanded reality: Open to anything, they are interested in the occult, the extrasensory, and the supernatural. Metaphysics: They are drawn to abstract and speculative thinking. Outward view: Though they are inner-directed and follow their own hearts and minds, Idiosyncratic men and women are known observers of others, particularly sensitive to how other people react to them. http://www.personalityonline.com/tests/engine.html?testid=3 Disagree with parts of that, as I disagree with most results on some points. Vigilant was a close second. Maybe I'll play with that quiz sometime and see what their definition for "vigilant" is. Back to Trig. |
| Me: No wonder Latin died! [The Romans] had names for every type of prepositional phrase known to man. Friend: So who killed Latin? It was probably Constantine in Byzantium with the knife, er, the Christians. Me: In the study? Friend: No, in the parlor room. Either that or it was Nero in the kitchen with the fiddle. That last one really had me laughing. It's the anecdotes to history that make it interesting. And, of course, it's the anecdotes we hardly ever learn. The Roman Emperor Caligula gave his favorite horse a government position. Simon Bolivar tried to create a United States of South America by uniting Latin American countries (obviously that fell through). The first colonists at Jamestown may have been poisoned by underground Catholics sent by the Spaniards to ruin Britain's chances in the New World. A certain president (I want to say Teddy Roosevelt, but I'm not entirely sure) regularly went skinny-dipping in the Potomac River; a reporter discovered this and sat on his clothes until he would submit to an interview, and he did. Still disturbed by a single few-seconds-long clip of a movie... Been in a funky mood all day, no reason I can pinpoint. Done studying for tonight. Hardly done anything at all. Tomorrow is going to be a killer, and Monday night as well. |
| Three exams next week: English (which I am still vaguely bitter about having to take... damn English department rules about Midterms), Latin (my only fear is the volume of information), and Trig/Precalc (which I should be fine for as long as I don't psych myself out). One B+ in Latin and English makes it so that I have to take the final. Oh well. It'll be over by Wednesday at 9:30 AM. Okay, so two weeks and we STILL don't know the set-up for the literary magazine next year. It's really ticking me off. It would have been fine to wait had the moderator said she'd tell us when the books were given out or something, but no, she told us we would be informed "next week" three weeks ago. "People make light of my optimistic outlook, such as, if I were captain of the Titanic, I would tell my passengers we were stopping for ice." - Charles William "Chuck" Tanner "The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." - George F. Will (The second quote is my outlook exactly.) Finally saw Baraka. That movie is just... whoa. It's so awesome. It's a cinematographer's take on the world, comparing all of the world's major religions (Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism) and tribal cultures, and showing nature and living and dead cities and living and dead people and finding the rhythms and the patterns and the beauty and the horror in all of it. No dialogue or voice overs, no central characters, all set to world music. If you ever think you know the whole story, "remember, thou art mortal," and thou hast no idea. ::sigh:: Have to study now. |
| ::sigh:: Anxious and restless all day today. Got up and left study at least four times. Once to the third floor, once to my locker (still up a flight of stairs), several times just to move around. I could have gone at any later time to either. I think I'm getting sick. Completely screwed up my trig/pre-calc average for the year. Damn ambiguity on tests! If the teacher wanted letters that's what she should have asked for! It's a lost cause to challenge it. I heard a girl arguing with the teacher about it. The girl was crying. Someone whom I've never seen her speak with took her down to the bathroom to help her calm down and collect herself. I wanted to do something, I felt terrible just sitting there trying my best to ignore it, but I have enough trouble comforting my best friends, let alone acquaintances. I can listen very well, but can't comfort well at all. Physics test tomorrow and test corrections due. I'm screwed for this test. I'm too tired to study. I have things to get ready for tomorrow. Spent two hours at the mall afterschool looking for a shirt with my mom. The styles this year suck. Tutored Algebra I afterschool today. Surprised at how easy it is now. Fried brain. Frayed nerves. Been irritable recently, kept at bay towards friends. Snappy. Frustrated. Not an overall bad day, but the high point of it was dressing up as FDR. However, my presentation flopped. I knew the material like the back of my hand, but I had no organization. Downloaded several Buddhist chants. There is a dinging in one that sounds like an egg timer. "Popcorn's done!" ::Monks come running.:: Must study. |
| "...I'm lost And the shadows keep on changing." - "Haunted," Poe Lately, I've been found myself wondering how different things really are. I tell myself that things have changed, but I see too often evidence to the contrary. I tell myself that I have changed, but "the more things change the more they stay the same." The commutation of one thing into another and nothing going anywhere. To friends: If I am ever given time to think, snap me out of it. Sleep. Early tonight. |
| Yesterday alone I spent 16 hours on that 1930s project. And that was with my mom helping me do simple but time-consuming things such as copying pictures and cutting them out. I was finished last night at 4:30 AM. There was no possible way I could have made it into school and given a presentation. So for that reason and the reason of general sanity, I stayed home and slept deeply until noon. Usually I can only sleep until about ten and then fall back to sleep and wake up every hour after that. My dad took the project into school for me--there's no point in staying up until that time if you're not going to even hand in the project on time. I honestly never thought it would take me that long to do such an uncomplicated project. Amusement park trip with our brother school was awesome. (Only one thing...er...person which I really did not like at all... At least I was spared through most of the trip...) So exhausted after that. I was in the bus, thinking that the past tense of "Do you mind?" was "Did you minded?" and then "Did you mound?". Anyway, hopefully I won't get sick (again) when our school goes as a whole. ::sigh:: The only problem with staying home is that you can never quite recover all you've missed. Oh well, I'll deal with that when I come to it. The moderator had better announce the editors of the literary magazine soon; she said she would announce them sometime last week and never did. Plans for today: finish take-home test, finish rest of homework, get service hours and an application, get what I missed and try to do most of it, maybe start an extra credit project for history, maybe watch that DVD I've been meaning to. Time to eat. |
| I have a section of the first movement of Ralph Vaughan Williams's Folk Song Suite stuck in my head. It's the one section I cannot do correctly and it's taunting me. I like it, it's just high and fast and awkward to play. I was sitting in the car on the way home tonguing it. (Oh, the innuendos of woodwinds...) I really think that a variation/knock-off of that song is in Chicken Run, but it may be completely different. Anyway. AP test Friday. Eek! Not that it really matters that much to me. I do well, that's wonderful. I do poorly, oh well. Spent over two hours getting articles from the New York Times of the 1930s. It was really interesting, once I got a working microfilm viewer. I tried four out of five, and none printed well if at all. The fifth worked well, but by that time I'd already wasted half an hour. Anyway, the newspapers downplayed the situation, acted like it was only a little problem. All through the Great Depression, the ads were still selling fur coats and fine living. They used to publish the topics of Sunday sermons in Monday papers. It was also sort of weird to see mentions of Hitler and Mussolini and other dictators and world leaders in a mostly neutral light. Through my pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia, I have no idea how I manage to find so much humor in the world and how I manage to end up in a relatively good mood most of the time. Trig quiz to take tomorrow, quick Theology paper to write tonight on cloning. ::yawn:: I didn't start my homework until 9:30 last night. Don't want to make that a trend. |
| It's funny, the things I was once most proud of are nothing like what I thought they were. I find old writings, my quote file, artwork, you name it, and nothing is how I remember it. Which is both good and bad. Good, because I have improved. Bad, because I feel the need to correct errors. Going through my quotes file, trying to pick a favorite. Thought I'd share those in the running... There are quite a few. You've been warned. "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." - Henry Ford "Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only that the cat died nobly." - Arnold Edinborough "One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." -Oliver Wendell Holmes "The human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it." - C.C. Scott "Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the idea is quite staggering." - Arthur C. Clarke "Imagination rules the world." - Napoleon Bonaparte "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross "To thine own self be true." - William Shakespeare "I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank [This was written only months before she died of typhoid or typhus (can't remember) at Bergen-Belsen.] "There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you." - Maya Angelou "Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans." - Betty Talmadge "It is the dim haze of mystery that adds enchantment to pursuit." - Antorne de Rivarol "More important than what we have is who we are." - Socrates "The most beautiful thing a person can do is change." - Marc Ponzio "A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell "I count myself as nothing so happy as in a soul remembering my good friends." - Shakespeare "Do not ever fear to think." - Bram Stoker, Dracula "The years teach much the days can never know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Our life is what our thoughts make it." - Marcus Aurelius Antonius "Not all those who wander are lost..." - J.R.R. Tolkien "I can sum up everything I've learned about life in 3 words: it goes on." - Robert Frost "In the midst of winter I discovered there was within myself an invincible summer." - Albert Camus "To be left alone on a tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excrutiating beauty of full freedom and the threat of external indecision. Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflict than to maintain a constant battle with the superior forces of maturity." - Maya Angelou "A man must stand in fear of just those things that truely have the power to do us harm, of nothing else, for nothing else is fearsome." - Dante's Inferno, Canto II, 85-87 "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows." - Helen Keller [I love her quotes, they are so paradoxical.] "We are free to the degree we have knowledge; it is the quality of our knowledge that measures the degree of our freedom." - Jean-Paul Desbiens "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." - Goethe "When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell "The creative person pays close attention to what appears discordant and contradictory... and is challenged by such irregularities." - F. Barron "The universe is wider than our views of it." - Henry David Thoreau "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." – Walt Disney "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." – Albert Einstein "All the fun's in how you say a thing." – Robert Frost "Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they can talk sense." – Robert Frost "May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope." - Traditional Irish Curse [Had to break the chain of inspiration and thought provocation.] "Never cut what can be untied." - Portugese proverb [This one keeps popping up. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it in the past few weeks. And, of course, now I can't remember if I saw it or dreamt it or what... I remember the highlighting I used, but I haven't seen this document in a year or so, and had forgotten I had the quote... Argh... I need to regain a solid sense of time.] "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb "What you can not avoid, welcome." - Chinese Proverb "To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." – Chamfort "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts." - Brigitte Bardot [This quote is me in a nutshell.] "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that is was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible." - T. E. [Thomas Edward] Lawrence [Lawrence of Arabia] (1888 - 1935) "It is never safe to look into the future with eyes of fear." - Edward Henry Harriman I have narrowed my choices, albeit, not by much. |
| Looking for a yearbook quote. A conversation: A friend: "Wossit...The road to Hell..." Me: "It's on the tip of my tongue." [...] Friend: "Is paved with good intentions." Me: "Yup. Part of me wanted to say 'philosophers,' but I didn't think that was correct." Another conversation: Me: "Sorry to keep turning you over to [the history teacher], but I'm fragile and don't want to take the brunt of her wrath." A different friend: "You. ::laughs:: Fragile." Me: ::shrugs:: "That's my cover." Went on WebMD today. It's sort of frightening when you fit all of the criteria for Schizotypal Personality Disorder, which is essentially schizophrenia without psychotic episodes. Paranoid Personality Disorder has been down for who-knows-how-long, and I'm too lazy to look it up somewhere else. The derealization thing is especially disconcerting. "It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts." - G. B. Burgin Homework to do, projects to get started, thoughts to contemplate. |
| Four paragraphs left to write for homework, or thereabouts. Found and interesting website the other day. I'm all for the pursuit of knowledge, but this seems to be getting a little carried away: http://www.northvegr.org/lore/latinsaxon/ It's a Latin-Old Saxon dictionary. It's interesting though. You can see the origins of English in it. Latin: lapis (stone) Old Saxon: stên Latin: amicus (friend) Old Saxon: friund Latin: lux (light) Old Saxon: lioht Latin: domus (house) Old Saxon: hûs Latin: agnus (lamb) Old Saxon: lamb Some things don't change much. Only a little left to do tonight, so of course, I have to waste time looking at comparisons of the main ancestor of English and English's major tributary. Nerd? Me? Never. It's sort of funny, people will tell you that Latin helps with vocabulary. I keep finding that I don't see the Latin in English words until I have a vague idea of the meaning. Really hoping I do not have poison ivy. I didn't see any, but you never know. I keep waking up with bruises on my legs--my shins, my knees, the fronts of my thighs. And now one or two on the backs of my hands. I'd love to know what I'm doing in my sleep. (All right, people, minds out of the gutter. Now. I mean it.) Tired. Feeling sick. I really have to get this work done. |
| Very frustrated. A million things to do. Homework to finish (including an unbelievably long Latin take-home suppliment for a test), random things to do so I'll have things written under to my name in the yearbook next year, a long survey to do for Guidance (asking for an extension Monday, I know people always hand things in late, but I don't really want hell from them), various projects due during the week, music to learn by Friday (ideally, by Wednesday), various things to get ready for the trip Friday, a MAJOR history project due next Monday (on top of extra credit for that class), the AP US test this Friday, Senior portraits next week (no idea when, but it's such a scary concept; I agree with Pshaw, I'm not ready yet), lots of waiting, tons of research, the usual tests and homework, a paper or two thrown in, and probably so much else I'm forgetting. Slept in til 12:30 today. I needed that desperately. I've found that I can do more work if I have absolutely no contact with friends all day. If I manage to stay off the phone for most of the day and then get a call, after I have hung up, I yearn for more contact and often I'll give in. If I come home from school and go online, I find myself wanting to stay online aimlessly to avoid work. So my best bet is avoiding contact all together when I need to get work done. I have been physically injured by Latin. A deep papercut on my thumb. Finally, a submission to my site! Yay! Granted, it'll take me a month to even think about getting it done. Been snappy today. I was just about to write a line here. Then it went from there and I now have eight lines of a poem. It makes little sense, is very poor quality, but I haven't written a damn thing in a while, so it's wonderful. Latin to finish tonight, we'll see what else I get to. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
