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just your average... er... correction: just your normal... correction: me. |
| The original title of this was "The Oscilloscope"... but too many days passed without a single page view. And then I wanted "Fighting the Current (hey... my canoe's missing!!!)" but no matter what I did to the title, it was at least 10 characters too long -- so I eventually just cut it off. All the titles do have multiple meanings though. This is my journal, as you probably know. We'll just have to see what I can do with it... I might write what's going on in my life, but it will most likely write whatever I feel like at the moment. Kind of like what I use as titles... |
| "Dear Mr. Hussein STOP We are writing to inform you that we shall call Wednesday night 8PM to finalize plans STOP Expect us sometime during the day Thursday STOP Leave keys under mat STOP" So, very shortly, we will be at war. The war itself may be quick, but the ramifications will last for decades, if not longer. I really do have such strange dreams. I was just remembering a couple of them from Sunday morning... There was one centering around a theme of light and shadow. I can hardly remember the plotline. There is one thing I can almost always be certain of in my dreams: beautiful scenery. If only the dulcimer were easier to tune and keep in tune... I want to make my own, but it's a lot of work. You have to bend the wood perfectly, and the sound won't resonate as nicely if I built one smaller than the one I have. The head and neck also wouldn't be as nice because I would want mechanical knobs (whatever they're called). They would make it so much easier to tune a dulcimer and all. I'd convert the one I have to mechanical, but it's too pretty an instrument... Besides the fact that it's not quite mine. My class goes on a retreat tomorrow. A friend asked me if it was led by the French. I'm not entirely sure where I stand on the war. I am not for it, but at the same time I feel there is no other way. Bush started picking a fight and now we have to see it through. Otherwise we would be wide open to ridicule and attack. But this war will cause even more dissent among extremists and other groups. We'll see, we'll see... "If only, If only..." |
| We had a Saint Patrick's... er... Ides of March party in Latin class today. Essentially did nothing for the entire class. In history, we couldn't convince the teacher to let one girl Irish dance. I don't think he believed us when we said she was world-class. (She is.) I'm putting together an Irish-themed playlist, or at least seeing what songs would go on it. So far I have a ton of stuff by Afro-Celt Sound System (who, I've just learned, have renamed themselves to AfroCelts), the Cranberries, U2, and Barrage (world fusion stuff). I'm going to add the Godfather theme. Right now, Saint Patrick's Day is my defense mechanism. Would you rather I obsess over the impending war? I'm sorry, I tend to dwell on things. Oh, correction to my last post from yesterday. I forgot Portugal's flag. I want to hear Bush declare war, but the Honors Convocation is tonight. Being inducted into National Honor Society, Mu Alpha Theta (math honor society), and Latin Honor Society. The problem with being "invisible" arises when you want to be seen and heard. Apparently, one of my brothers knows the Godfather theme. It goes on and he says in a horrible Italian accent, "Never mess with the family." You'd think that McDonald's would not run out of "shamrock shakes." Two out of three did not have it. Third time's the charm. Why do they call it the "luck o' the Irish?" To my knowledge, the last time the Irish as a people were lucky was when the Romans did not invade. Of course, luck is relative. It can always get worse. Looking through my old MP3 CDs. Wow, I'd forgotten I had downloaded a lot of these. I have some really good ones I had forgotten about. If I like enough of the music from a certain group, I buy the CD. I don't think I've ever bought a CD for one song. "The world is a vampyr, Sent to drain..." from "Bullet with Butterfly Wings," Smashing Pumpkins (One of my old downloaded songs.) The pastor's still in the cardiac unit. No word on my little old lady next door. No word on the woman down the street. Having a conversation that's bringing me back to thoughts of the war. I pray everything turns out all right. |
| Just read through a ton of my old writings. I was cringing more often than I thought I would at the fan fictions. Started work on a project I've been meaning to start for a while now. I keep having good ideas around a central theme, so I'm going to try to do a Bradbury-like series of vignettes. Saw a picture of Bush just a few minutes ago, and for half a second, I thought it was a picture of Nixon. There is some resemblance in that picture. I only saw clips of the press conference from the Azores today. What I found most interesting was the line of flags behind the speakers. There were at least six flags, to give the semblance of a large backing for the war. If you look at the flags (not necessarily in this order): Spain, Britain, US, Spain, Britain, US... G'night. |
| Went to a park and rode my bike for two hours through the woods. Then walked the same trails and took pictures. Should have taken the camera on the bikeride, the colors were better then, I was just worried I'd fall on the camera case. Once I got off my bike, my dad told me that I had mud all over my back. Sure enough, every puddle I went through had splashed more across my back. I'm sore, but it feels good, lol. I keep getting ideas for fan fiction. No idea why. I haven't come across those series for a long time, and I keep getting ideas for them. Dune, the miniseries, is on right now. The first book of Dune is still one of my favorite books, but each sequel got progressively worse, in my opinion. I couldn't read past the middle of the fifth book. It was such a nice day outside though. I'm physically tired, but I want to keep going. I need to find some things to occupy myself. Not in the mood for SAT prep. Don't really feel like writing. Should clean up the clothes in my room. Then I might go through and burn a CD of my pictures. Just ran outside to get pictures of the sunset. All pinks and blues. (I literally ran. You have no concept of how quickly the sun sets until you are trying to capture an exact moment.) Hm... sometimes this camera is really good with colors. Other times, the camera brings out too much red where it doesn't belong. I can't get a good picture of certain shades of yellow because of that. Just killing time sitting here. I have to find something else to do. |
| Bad things tend to gang up in threes. The fourth was just yesterday. There may be a fifth in the makings. I'm wondering if it will be an even six. Several eerie occurances today. Came downstairs and checked the thermometer. 66.6 degrees. What a start to the day... My mom and my brother were watching the river and strange ripples went across it. It may have been a miniature earthquake. I've heard we get them all the time here, but they're too small to be felt. It's easy to see I go to a predominantly Irish parish. There was a sea of green clothing at church last night. And most of those who didn't wear green at least had a shamrock pin or Celtic-patterned pin. My brother doesn't play air guitar. He plays air electric bagpipes. It's interesting, to say the least. It is a fifth... This is wonderful. ::string of expletives...:: Going bike-riding and photographing. I need to clear my head. |
| I just wrote a paper for Theology... I kept alliterating in the introductory paragraph (which I wrote second to last, but that's another story). "If only read as a historical account accented by bits of wisdom and cute stories of farmers and fishermen, the Bible does not appear to apply to the modern reader." I didn't even realize I'd alliterated until I was rereading the sentence. It's scary though. This is why I try not to write papers when I'm falling asleep. ::sigh:: I have to get a 100 tomorrow on my trig test. This should be interesting... I hate my school's grading system... I really do... Actually, I generally don't like the idea of grading to begin with. I understand the point of it, but I just never liked it. It drives some people nuts to get perfect scores, but teachers expect students to get 70s and 80s. If the teachers themselves only expect students to get that range, then why don't they make the tests easier? But if the made the tests easier, then the people who do know enough to get 90s and 100s would slack off and see no point in the class. (Sort of like history right now, I don't think anyone in that class has lower than a B+ this quarter... Not that I mind doing well, but you can only have so many days where you learn NOTHING in class... Okay, maybe if the teacher was interesting then I would enjoy not learning the curriculum, but if the teacher is boring and he has no idea what he's talking about and he rambles on about things no one is interested in, THEN I do not like the class...) That is my logic when I am tired. Try to figure it out if you dare. And if you do, please let me know. |
| I dishlihke wearing my rethainer. It givesh me shuch a lithp. Oh whell, bettehr than the bhraces themselsves. That's all I have to say right now. Bedtime. |
| Field trip to DC was fun. Very rushed, and it was eerily quiet for a major city--even if it was during the week, but it was all-in-all a good trip. Didn't get to see much. And how can you see Washington without seeing the memorials? Ah, well... Been through enough security checks to last me a while. Just sent out most of my best pictures to people who either requested them or expressed an interest in them. My favorites are one of the interior of the Capitol's dome and one of the Washington Monument with the sun behind it and a blue sky beyond. The first draft of my research paper came back today (a day early). I was told my paper was good enough for a college-level anthropology course. Very proud of that. A turkey was standing on my neighbor's car earlier today. Got pictures, but none turned out well. The light was too low, my hands were too unsteady, and I didn't want to scare it by my flash. Spent all of second period (and about a minute or two of third) typing up the last few articles for a history project. That is the latest last minute I've ever done. I was just so tired last night that I could hardly hold my head up at ten o'clock. Faculty vs. senior basketball game today. I think I have this basketball thing figured out: a big, orange, round thing goes through a hope and people cheer. Teachers won. It probably helped them to have at least two people over six feet tall on the team (and others close to that height). They dropped French toast from the school cafeteria's menu. I hate this petty stuff. I really, really don't think the French are offended. A reporter asked the French Embassy what they thought of the Capitol dropping the word "French" from their menus and replacing it with "Freedom." They replied, "French fries are Belgian." Ew. I just had a KFC pot pie. It looks like they chopped up their crispy chicken and threw it into the pot pie. I only ate the crust off. The rest just looked disgusting. Today, I heard four national anthems in a span of ten minutes. American. French. British. Polish. (Not in that order.) I was cowering when the Star Spangled Banner was sung. Only because it was sung in baritone (or deeper... not sure...)... by a girl with a crazed look in her eyes. Have to speak with my Trig teacher tomorrow, if she's in school. See if there's any other extra credit I can do... The only priest in my parish is hospitalized. Something about his heart. Sounds like he'll be fine, but nothing is ever certain. Homework to do. |
| Two pages and an appendix written and I just took a break. Only six pages to go... at least. My main problem is that I have to find sources for everything I know off the top of my head. For example, the Greeks had territories in Sicily and regions of southern Italy. I don't even remember which class I learned that in--World Civilizations or Latin. I keep citing my workbooks from Latin I and II. I've given myself another ten minutes before going back to the grindstone. Started practicing the recital piece yesterday. I have the notes down usually. I just need to speed it up. I was just outside zoning out. I go out there with a camera and all I worry about is what goes into getting the perfect shot (including the inevitable: "Pleasedon'tletmefall"). I can just forget everything else, and I invariably do for the most part. Spent the day writing with no music on. Didn't need it. The wind was roaring through the trees and rustling what few dead leaves are left, the birds were singing, the water was lapping on the concrete. I really didn't feel like listening to anything from the tinny speakers of my laptop or having to wear earphones and drown out the wind. It's a shame that I have papers to write. Today would have been perfect for me to sit writing my stories... Over my ten minute limit. Back to work. |
| The weather is taunting me. It's beautiful outside and I have a paper to write. Should have written it yesterday, but it wasn't coming. Going to take a walk later. Maybe I'll work where I can have all the windows wide open. I ate rice pilaf and Irish potatoes (which are about as un-Irish is possible) for breakfast. I have interesting food combinations. "My brain is on hold, so without further adieu, let's get to the research!" - from Non Campus Mentis |
| Ended up not going skiing after all. Maybe next week. Waiting for a friend to call me back. I may end up seeing a high school play tonight. Not sure. I won a game of chess! It helped that my opponent went "braindead" towards the end. I really thought I'd lose that match. Back to the research paper. |
| Just over a year and a quarter left... If only it didn't take me so long to do things... I never feel like I'm doing enough for people. It's nice to be told I am... but unsatisfying somehow... I need sleep. Research paper to write tomorrow. And skiing. We'll see. |
| Thought of a great line earlier: I'm not a black sheep, I'm an albino sheep. Just as rare, but not as conspicuous. (Note: That's if I'm considered a sheep at all...) I have a piece I really need to work on. Just got it last week and the recital is three weeks away. Eek. It's tough, but only because my fingers get confused. (If you play an instrument, you probably know what I'm talking about.) I've been poetic lately. I've had some really good ideas I want to follow through. Of course, one of those ideas was sparked by mishearing lyrics... But it would be a good poem if I could write most of it. I need to find a practical use for this like-minds thing. lol, If only we could figure out how to transfer information, Pshaw. ;-P I've been in a really good mood all day. Hyper through half of it, giddy through other parts, and just generally happy. |
| Got to bed around 2:30 AM last night. Tomorrow is going to be hell if I don't get to bed by 9 or earlier tonight. I was actually pretty proud of the two poems. I'd post them, but they wouldn't make any sense without the several pages of explanations I did for other parts of the project. My radiator is once again full of air. An outline to write tonight. |
| I feel like dealing with no one right now. I am afraid I'm going to snap at someone who won't forgive. Tonight is not a good night. So far, I have most of one of my projects done, and have barely started the other. I was feeling distant and detached to begin with. I was stressed to begin with... Then came the police action. Always when I'm doing an intense English project. For at least half an hour I was terrified of where the EMTs were heading. Not yet... Thank God, not yet... They went to a house where the family has had some pretty violent fights with their son before... I think it was the son they were taking in the ambulance... I don't know what happened. So, frazzled as I already was, I acheived a heightened state of tension. Still trying to calm down completely and focus. Bed is hours away. "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." - Frost |
| I loathe pointless projects. I probably get more out of novels than even the teacher does... Even she uses Sparknotes. Hell, the summer reading test was verbatim from the Sparknotes quizzes. I want to write prose. I want to draw. I want to create. I am stuck writing crappy poetry about things the teacher will not understand... And the chasm reopens... |
| I am tired. I am frustrated. I am freezing. I have no desire to do this work. I am bored. I am not being challenged, but overworked. I am going insane. I have to get this all done. I am feeling a cold coming on. I am wishing my teacher knew what she was doing. I am melodramatic due to stress. I have to do a good job. I am dreading writing these cards out. I am wishing I had another three days. I am feeling tortured. I have a total lack of motivation. I am grumpy. I am worried. I am exhausted. I have no more time to waste. I never had any in the first place. |
| The last time I had a ton to do for English, I was up until 3 or 3:30 AM, and my mind was past the point of blurring. It was awful. Of course that's also the night there was police action on my street stretching from 4 till 5 or so... I do NOT want to repeat that. I spent all of Physics, study, and English working on getting things for my notecards. I'm not halfway through my sources and I already have at least forty or fifty summaries, paraphrases, personal thoughts (very few of these), direct quotations, and precis... Mostly summaries and paraphrases. This is supposed to be a ten page paper. I'm not entirely sure what I will be cutting... But most of the notes are completely relevant. It's not my fault this stuff isn't common knowledge for most people. What's funny is that people who worked all weekend don't have their notecards done either. I have to write over thirty-six lines of good poetry tonight... That should be interesting. I finished the other part earlier today. I just need to type it. Me? Stressed? No, I've only snapped at everyone for the past few days. A friend to whom I was complaining typed, "::throws an anger management book::" In response... "::throws it back, feels much better::" ::sigh:: I have to get back to work. I'll be working all night otherwise. |
| Just took a personality quiz on http://www.thespark.com hee hee hee... MASTERMIND (Submissive Introvert Abstract Thinker) Like just 8% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." Don't learn German. Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you've definitely got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy. Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns. |
| Just got home from seeing a production of Euripides' "Trojan Women." Most of the actors were really good. A real downer of a play though. I don't think I've ever heard more screaming in a play... But they did a good job, it was written to be a screamed sort of play. Got done a good portion of one of my English projects on the bus. (I could have done more, but instead I chose to spend most of the busride home lost in thought. I haven't done that ) Have to type it tonight. There's no way I'm going to be able to finish my note cards and outline... I'm going to have to cut quite a few corners in my research... We should have been given this part to do over break. It took relatively no time at all to do the bib cards. Even if her thesis was six times as long as ours should be, it took her months to do her research. I really hate it when I forget a thought in the middle of telling it. The sunset was gorgeous tonight. Red and fuschias and the sun reflecting a straight line down the cloud. I've never seen that happen before with that color. It's a shame I couldn't get a picture. I'm wondering if we wouldn't have covered more material in history if we'd been given set assignments to do in a study-like class. Our sub is getting us nowhere fast... And the regular teacher will definitely try to compensate for it. Oh, that should be fun. She's scary as it is. And we're possibly over five chapters behind her schedule. I'm really sick of hearing this guy's stories of growing up out west. Especially since they never seem to go anywhere. And never connect with anything. Back to my oh-so-fun projects... ::eye roll:: Actually, they'd be fine if they weren't due on the same day and if we had longer to do them. |
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