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Sunday, Apr. 28, 2024

1:22am EDT

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Stripping Off The Mask

by susanL

Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #1923005

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou

I'm doing it again, looking towards a fresh start on the road to throwing it all out there. I want this road to be paved with meaning and intensity. The way I try to do everything. I'll lighten it up along the way, but not too much. Complacency is not what I have ever done; I think I have tried for "complacent" in recent years and have failed spectacularly. So this new beginning?

I'm stripping off the mask.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on
-Billy Joel

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Scarlett

Jul 11, 2017 at 3:47am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Poignant and touching. I empathise with your thoughts and feelings. No matter the cause of death, guilt is always part of grieving, but don't blame yourself as none of us have much control over mortality.

Having lost both my parents and my husband in the space of seven years, death is a regular visitor to my thoughts. Sometimes I feel terrified at being alone, facing the end before too long, other times I feel it could be a blessed relief and the spirit world does exist.

Ultimately, none of us know anything and though it's very difficult, one day at a time sweet Jesus is all we can do.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Dec 8, 2016 at 5:51pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep! This relic just keeps on moving. Movement is life. Stopping comes all too soon.

Scarlett

Nov 12, 2016 at 12:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

A great soap box speech. Totally agree with you.

Nada

Nov 12, 2016 at 10:50am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

There are going to be problems with anything...

Nada

Nov 12, 2016 at 10:48am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

You are so right.

Scarlett

Nov 9, 2016 at 5:48am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I am shocked too, despite not living in the US. I cannot understand what group of Americans would vote this way and fear they will regret it very soon. Only time will see what effect this result will have around the world, but I see nothing but problems.

I understand your feelings completely.

Just Jamie

Oct 31, 2016 at 4:49pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

To be quite frank, to care deeply is to never be free. I am so hard wired to care about others needs and wants, that I will sacrifice any time I have for someone else. I am so hard wired, that I actually take pleasure in this. I joke all the time that I have fulfilled my life's calling-to be a responsible adult. I've been practicing since I was 3 years old.

I know this sounds silly, but maybe...maybe you can put on the ol' troop leader hat again, this time for Olivia, and come up with all kinds of fun, crazy, exciting ways to lead those girls. Heaven knows, that's what's keeping me together right now. All of my ideas, suggestions, etc., I let the girls know, and with their work and my help, they come to fruition, and then I feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life. It's not being an actual teacher, but I actually kinda like this better.

To be even more frank, even if I DID have time to just do whatever I want to do (which I sorta kinda do...), I'd still choose to do something for someone(s) else. I guess I'm just hard wired that way.

Nada

Oct 30, 2016 at 4:37pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Be free while raising Olivia...do it differently than your own 3 kids. That is what I have learned in my 68 years. You are frustrated sure...but hey, frustration is a part of life, a VERY large part. Go with the flow.

Scarlett

Oct 30, 2016 at 6:03am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm much older and feel very much the same way despite not raising a child. (just a kitten) My favourite line in music is John Lennon's 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.' Maybe this is the way it is meant to be regardless of how frustrated we feel. Have you ever had a rare day with some spare time and suddenly those plans don't seem so appealing? I know I have.

I have wanted to write a book for most of my life. I fear I never will now, but ultimately people are what life is about and the family and friends we care for and who care about us matter more than anything else. As another WDC member often says to me 'You are exactly where you are meant to be.' Your loving heart has raised three lovely girls and now I see the smiles on Olivia's face and know you are giving her a great start in life.

Life is all about changes and this too shall pass as they say. Some of us don't seem to be able to do things for ourselves when we care so much for others. That's no bad thing in this world so be proud.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Aug 21, 2016 at 9:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Friends... drift?

Yeah. Been thinking about that. Saw someone I admire at market on Saturday. He's back! But... it won't be the same. We've drifted apart and that's okay. He was there for a reason. I have to accept that.

Other friends I'm more attached to. One returns this week.

And... well... that won't be the same either but we are closer.

Friends from the past? I wish.

1 Like

#40. Forever
ID #914982 entered on July 9, 2017 at 12:35am

#39. Life.
ID #913545 entered on June 18, 2017 at 1:19pm

#38. Reflections
ID #898952 entered on December 3, 2016 at 3:37pm

#37. Battle Ready
ID #897196 entered on November 12, 2016 at 6:04am

#36. Boggled
ID #896944 entered on November 9, 2016 at 12:46am

#35. Fifty-one and Counting...
ID #895953 entered on October 30, 2016 at 1:35am

#34. Soul Mates
ID #890511 entered on August 21, 2016 at 5:38pm

#33. Spotlighting
ID #886309 entered on July 3, 2016 at 3:26am

#32. Holding Fast
ID #885245 entered on June 20, 2016 at 5:45pm

#31. Aging Out
ID #882365 entered on May 17, 2016 at 6:51pm

#30. The Return
ID #837021 entered on December 25, 2014 at 7:12am

#29. Into The Depths...
ID #789918 entered on August 28, 2013 at 1:34pm

#28. I WISH I Could Call It Quits!
ID #789079 entered on August 18, 2013 at 12:47am

#27. Occupational Hazards
ID #788048 entered on August 2, 2013 at 8:00pm

#26. Oh AARGH!
ID #787942 entered on August 1, 2013 at 10:59am

#25. Compassionate Regard
ID #787891 entered on August 1, 2013 at 8:40am

#24. A Knee To The System
ID #787794 entered on July 30, 2013 at 4:48am

#23. Ties That Bind...
ID #787730 entered on July 29, 2013 at 4:34am

#22. A Tip From Ms. Manners:
ID #787367 entered on July 23, 2013 at 8:27pm

#21. Cooling Off
ID #787247 entered on July 22, 2013 at 4:58am

#20. Enough Already
ID #787189 entered on July 21, 2013 at 3:35am

#19. Feeling Good
ID #787138 entered on July 20, 2013 at 2:37am

#18. Being Tipsy
ID #787045 entered on July 22, 2013 at 3:16am

#17. The Vent
ID #786988 entered on July 17, 2013 at 10:54pm

#16. Day One:
ID #786845 entered on July 16, 2013 at 6:31am

#15. Hanging Out
ID #785784 entered on June 29, 2013 at 6:27am

#14. The Attraction Factor
ID #784375 entered on June 7, 2013 at 7:33am

#13. The Chaos Theory At Work
ID #783559 entered on May 28, 2013 at 4:01am

#12. Blank Slate...
ID #783049 entered on May 20, 2013 at 2:35am

#11. Emotional Distance
ID #782765 entered on May 16, 2013 at 8:32am

#10. Pitiful Me
ID #782507 entered on May 13, 2013 at 5:25am

#9. Full House
ID #782364 entered on May 11, 2013 at 1:28am

#8. The Merry Go Round Begins...
ID #781368 entered on April 25, 2013 at 3:54pm

#7. The Road Well Traveled
ID #781024 entered on April 21, 2013 at 7:01am

#6. Yes, I Really Do Write. Still.
ID #780357 entered on April 12, 2013 at 2:50am

#5. Rewriting The Book
ID #778943 entered on March 29, 2013 at 3:49am

#4. Legacy
ID #778250 entered on March 22, 2013 at 2:18am

#3. Taking A Stand On My Soapbox
ID #777596 entered on March 15, 2013 at 5:53am

#2. It's Who I Am...
ID #777268 entered on March 11, 2013 at 5:02am

#1. The Mask Slips...
ID #777060 entered on March 8, 2013 at 10:06am

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