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When one blog is filled, another one must open. |
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Coming soon: more work from someone creative, ambitious, and determined - often called a variant of insane/crazy. Notes: Genderfluid. Preferred pronouns (they/them) [& denotes married couples] Immediate Family: soon-to-be-ex-Dilbert, Tempest, Dogbert My Extended Family: (s)Dad, cousins (K, D, G, J, F, N) I guess it's good to be on speaking terms with someone. Voluntarily. AuntS Dilbert's Extended Family: SIL (+5 kids)& BIL, FIL's gf (only for holidays, mostly) Important People I Don't See Enough: Owl + Partner, Paradise ICON crew (which owl is a part of) People I've Known a Long Time/Long Distance: Doc & [husband], Sheer & DocSheer, Mrs. Light & [husband], Trillium & Diego (not married but close enough), Steph Local People: MotherDroid, Owl&Partner ... There are about to be new people on this list, because, well, I'm evolving. And it hurts. DnD: used letters, S (DM), D(doctor), Y(because I like him!), K(old RPGer friend who also attends church), P(church guy who does game night and is local and our families are also friends), A (went to church but moved back to Chicago, moved back locally then i moved) Tempest's friends: I don't know very many of her local friends. She's got an internet buddy who also talks to CousinK's younger daughter. the younger daughter is DRAMA. Dogbert's friends: Has a new group of friends based on a Pokemon thing and they have a DnD club at school and outside of school. Lucky kid! |
| Yesterday marked one month since the hypertensive crisis. He says he still has some Rx left and doesn't need more yet. He says he's made healthier food choices and seems upset I didn't notice faster. (It had been about a week since our talk that he needs to take care of himself. I mentioned doctors specifically, especially a therapist.) I feel like I need to have healthy boundaries. I do not have them here. It's really hard to admit that it just isn't going to work. Even though I know it won't. He's not going to change, he's going to tell me what he thinks I want to hear, and he's not going to do simple things like get fucking groceries (for him and the kid that's home) if he runs out of something when I'm out of town. (that happened a week ago) I feel like he's just going to hold me down here until he is fine to do what he wishes. But I do not see myself staying permanently. I try to. I try not to think of time with him as wasted. It just isn't working, and everything around me points to that and somehow I still want to not listen. This, too, hurts. Tempest has issues and doesn't want to share them with Dilbert. Dogbert always phones me instead of talking to Dilbert about anything when I'm gone. Sometimes Dogbert calls me just to talk (when I'm at gymnastics but finished with work). I can tell when his tablet has shut down, but only if Tempest is with me. Yet if what i started asking was to take care of himself (because he's an adult) = Regular doc appt, his overdue colonoscopy, a therapist, taking his meds and refilling them... He's sick today and I'm pretty sure it's from brooding over our issues because I'm starting to talk about them. *whispers* I haven't spoken about the genderfluid part yet. It's like this scary thing to bring up. I can't even say why. He's always known I was bisexual (or whatever inclusive term to mean I'm not selective of only one gender for intimate relationships). Why does gender feel so much harder? |
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