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 |   Blog Challenge And Other Tidbits |
| An opinion or two...or three or four... |
PROMPT July 27th Write about a time you were caught off guard, surprised, or had the rug pulled out from under you. How did you recover? There have been plenty of times in my life where I've been caught off guard and had the rug pulled out from under me. And plenty of times when the pain was so great I curled into myself until I could make sense out of what happened. Because I'm a Gemini I can become obsessed with whatever hurts me. I have the tendency to hash it all over and then rehash it again. And again. And again. And...well, you get the point. It's hard for me to let go and move on. But they say time heals all wounds, and in one particular case it did. Not that I'll ever forget; rather, I'll pull myself up and stand tall. But make no mistake, I'll never forget... Anyway, this particular incident happened when I was still practicing as a financial advisor. That year I was making fistfuls of money and I was making all the right connections and I was absolutely and totally at the top of my game. I had just been recognized as a top producer and leader in the industry. Pretty cool, right? Well...no, not really. Something I didn't realize is that being at the top means that management looks more closely at you. They watch and they listen and they study what you'll do. Pretty soon they feel like you belong to them and they can direct you how they want. Okay, I should have realized this, but I was so happy at the time I didn't pay attention. It was also the first year that I entered NaNoWriMo. I planned and planned and when midnight struck on Halloween that year I wrote my story and poured my heart and soul into it. I was so proud of it. I had written the first draft of a story I hoped to edit, polish, and publish one day...soon. I felt that I was a "real writer" and that I could accomplish one of my biggest dreams, a book with my name on it. So that was November. And I languished in that warm fuzzy feeling for the next two months. And then...it was February. Time for my Business Plan Review with my Regional Manager. I had nothing to worry about. I'd been through this quarterly review lots of times. And besides, I was at the top of my game and feeling good. I went into that meeting knowing I was a strong businesswoman with a purpose and a mission, and no one could stop me. Except...my Regional Manager did. In casual conversation he asked if I was still writing "little stories"...talk about hobbies is always fun. His is photography, by the way. Trusting his friendship and his leadership I casually mentioned that I'd written an entire novel. And I mentioned how proud I was. And I mentioned I'd like to do it again in the future. Well...his face turned ugly and his eyes became very dark. And in all of his wisdom and all of his leadership and all of his humanity and knowing full well how much writing meant to me he said, "If you pursue publishing or writing of any kind I will fire you on the spot." Seriously? Yes, he was serious. And angry. And then he reminded me that I was a "Full-time financial professional doing business..." Basically, he was angry that I would spend time on my hobby and not bust my butt for the company. He was wrong of course, but the damage was done. It was that very day that I decided to find a way out. And I did just that. I sold my practice and I left the company. Now I'm happily writing for the finance industry and for myself. But sometimes when I look back I can remember the feelings of betrayal and hurt, just like they were fresh that very day. And I work hard not to keep that anger inside. I work hard to convince myself that I'm much better off. I work hard... I'm sure there will be plenty more times in the future where the rug will be pulled out from underneath me. And I'm sure I'll have to analyze every little bit of it. But I can also say that I will eventually pull myself up and stand tall. Because no one can stop me. |
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