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 |  Blog for this groups entries~will probably be rather interesting!~ |
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I am going to try out the Welcome To My Reality contest and this is my blog for all of my entries. Each entry will be based off of a different prompt! I am looking forward to doing this! This may be interesting!! |
| 7. Tell us about your very first friend. Ahhh....This question kind of sucks for me...I do not remember the first 8 years of my life other then flashbacks and stories I have been told over the years. I blocked it all out, actually in therapy to try to find out why....There are bits and pieces that I can recall...it truly sucks, especially now that Dad has passed, my mom and I do not get along, so I guess I will never learn more about my childhood then I know now. That is sad. I had friends I am sure, I vaguely remember playing outside with the neighborhood kids but honestly, I was a latch key kid at age 10. I came home everyday and locked myself in our apartment per my moms rules..I had to do my homework and chores before my mom got home. I spent A LOT of time alone...to myself. I used to read a book at all times. I remember reading the Babysitter's Club series. I was kind of a loner. When I got to high school I had a couple close friends, I was on the dance team for a year and then I joined the work program at school and from 10-12 grades I went to school only for 2 hours in the morning and then I worked a full time job at a jewelry store in the mall, making more money then any student in my entire school. So as you can see, I lived a VERY sheltered life, my mom (aka:Satan) truly raised me in a bubble, I have just in the past 8 years experienced things in life that I should have years and years ago...horse back riding, fishing, camping, and all sorts of things...just now experiencing them because of how sheltered I was raised. Now that I am a lot older, I do wish I could remember my childhood, figure out WHY I DON'T remember...but I have made friendships as I have become older that make up for any that I did not have as a child! gardengirl and Patrece ~  are 2 of my 4 only friends. And that is just perfect for me! It is not the quantity but the QUALITY!! And let me tell you...these are friendships that are the ones you value and treasure for life! |
| 6. Think about some of the activities here on Writing.com that you don't participate in. What stops you from participating in them? I try to be active and involved on WDC as much as I can be. However there are certain things that I have not tried, writing short stories and product reviews are a couple of the things I have not tried. I think on the product review, it is just because I don't really think I have enough knowledge to do one yet. I need to learn about it more. The writing short stories, I struggle with only because it is not what I normally do..I write poems, and I really need to broaden my genre and styles of writing so that I can grow more. Maybe I need to learn to try new things...even when I am unsure of them, try. Because I will never know if I do not try right?! That is something I need to learn...that it is okay for me to try new things, try to grow and expand my knowledge because if I do not, I will never grow or further myself not only as a writer, but as a person as well. New things can be scary and that will put us off, stirring up feelings of fear of failing, so we never try. When you have those feelings it is hard to push yourself past them and try things. Maybe part of my Give It 100 one day should be to make a goal to try out a activity or contest on here that is something new for me to try out. If I try it out, then it can never be a fail right! Because at least I tried! The whole point is to work on a better me, breaking free from what I am used to doing, and trying new things and doing things for myself....hmmm...never know..maybe what I am scared of trying will open up a whole new thing for me in my writing...and life! So maybe by doing this Welcome To My Reality blog/challenge..I will grow even more! |
| 5. Many people covet particular merit badges on this site. Which is the one you would most like to add to your collection? Why is it so meaningful to you? I am still a newbie here, been here since September, and have received 66 merit badges/awardicons. I do not have one certain one that I want....I am always so excited, grateful and surprised when I get one! It makes me feel good to know that someone thought of me for one reason or another and chose me to give a badge or award! I love knowing that I am earning them for different reasons, it makes me feel like I am growing as a writer more. I love each and every one of them that I have received! Of course I want to earn as many of the different merit badges and awards as I can, but there is not just ONE that I particularly want. I just want to grow as a writer and when an award or merit badge is given to me, I feel like I have earned it. That is a HUGE feeling for me to have...I have very low self esteem and that sure does warm my heart and makes me want to try even harder...to push myself more and further...to shoot for the stars..to follow my dreams...to keep putting one foot in front of the other walking forward on this journey of life I am on! I am trying, learning, growing and working on a better me. If there was a Bettering Yourself badge...I would for sure working my way to earn that one! I am just so grateful when I receive one, it does not matter which one, someone thought about me and thought I deserved it...that is major to me! I appreciate each and every one of them from the bottom of my heart!! I look forward to working even harder and learning more and earning them for something good that I wrote or did! It truly is an amazing feeling knowing that something you did touched or moved someone and they reward you! I am soooo not used being praised or rewarded for anything in my life...so it really means a lot to me to be able to come here and have that happen to me! |
| 4. Tell us about a childhood pet. Why is this pet do memorable? When I was about 9 or 10 years old, my grandma had a barn cat that gave birth to two kittens in her barn. A fluffy little boy and a even fluffier little girl! My aunt decided to take the boy and I talked my mom into letting us have the little girl. Once they were weaned and able to be taken from the mom, we brought our first cat home to join our little family. It was just mom and me, she worked so I was a latchkey kid at age 10, so having a cat made me feel less alone. We named her Samantha and called her Sammy. I swear she was part dog Ha Ha!! That crazy cat would run to the door when someone knocked and would growl, she would fetch a ball and bring it to you to throw again. She was a stubborn, diva of a cat and I loved her dearly. When I was 18, my mom moved to Indiana from where we were living in Ohio and she took Sammy with her, which was fine. I was a pregnant, 19 year old newlywed living in a apartment that didn't allow animals. So off Sammy went to live with my mom and her boyfriend, and by this time mom had 3 other cats besides Sammy. It went well till I was about 24 years old and mom called to tell me she thought she was going to have to have Sammy put to sleep because she was old and she wasn't making it to the litter box in time and was having accidents and the other cats were bullying her because of her age and mom thought that Sammy was just basically dying of old age. I told her no, that I would bring her to live with me and see if she did any better having no other cats around. By this time I had 2 kids and we lived in a house so having an animal was no longer a problem. So Sammy came to live with us and honestly things went great for a year or so. Then she started not making it the litter box again and I started seeing blood when she went to the bathroom, then she didn't hardly eat and when she did she got sick, and I saw blood there to. I took her to the vet and got the sad news that she had cancer in her stomach and with her age and the severity of it, it was not fixable or curable. I had to make a choice. I took Sammy back home from the vet in the hopes that a miracle would happen...after a week I saw that it was getting worse and now I could see that she was suffering and I could not take it, I could not allow her to suffer...she had been my best furry friend for over 15 years and I refused to let her continue on like that. I took her back to the vet...I held her as they gave her a shot that would make it all stop...I petted her and kissed on her and just loved on her, she knew she was not alone and she looked so much more peaceful and out of pain. I wrapped her in a blanket and drove her out to my grandparents house in the country. They have a small area on their 10 acres where past family pets have been buried, that is where I took Sammy. I buried her myself, it was the hardest thing ever. I had never had to do something like this at this point in my life and it was heartbreaking. But I know that I did the right thing, it would not have been fair to her to let her continue to slowly die in pain. I was there when she came into this world and I held her in my arms as she left this world and my life. Ahhh..Well played WTMR!! Got me all teared up on this prompt!! |
| 3. What's the key to repairing a broken or damaged relationship? Is there ever a point when a relationship is beyond repair? Ahhh...this question makes me reflect on my past relationships. I was married to my kids dad for 11 years...after the first couple years things started to go south...when I had our youngest she was special needs and that was just the final straw to our marriage. I dealt with emotional, verbal and mental abuse..hearing that I am not smart, that I will never be a writer, that I am fat..blah blah blah..on and on! I finally decided I DID not want my kids to grow up thinking this was the way love worked. We tried, separation, and counseling before we divorced so that we could say that we did try everything. It was just best for us to part ways. I couldn't have made a better choice in life. My kids and I are super close and have amazing bonds and I have some pretty awesome kids! I have full custody of the kids and allow him to see them as often as he wants...which is only 4 days a month if that. His loss in my eyes! I have had not just love relationships but friendships as well that have just been toxic. After you see the same thing happening over and over you have to get to a point when you know you cannot fix it, and move on. I am slowly learning to stop giving people so many chances and to stand up for myself. I need to focus on deleting stress from my life as I can stress all day everyday over ANYTHING! I can stress about stress...and when I have toxic relationships in my life it truly causes me a great deal of worry, nerves, anxiety and stress. It is unhealthy for me in so many ways. There are still some relationships that I have that I know are not fixable, by the other persons choices, yet I cannot just stop the relationship. Not yet anyway...but I am learning to not lay down and take the abuse anymore...slowly! |
| 2. If you were incapacitated, by illness, accident or old age, how would you cope with being cared for? Would you be able to accept such a situation? Well this question is a rather interesting one....I have pretty crappy mental and physical health. Last year I was in the hospital 10 times in 6 months, for bowel problems and infections and for blood clots in both lungs. I was soooo sick...these "attack" type things seem to happen every 3 years or so however this last one was the longest lasting one....6 months! Whew it was rough. I was stuck in the hospital, away from my family, sick as hell for days and sometimes a week or more at a time. I had to learn how to ask for more help and learn to not overdue it to much. I was so sick that I literally do not remember days at a time because I was so out of it and so sick. I was at the mercy of the doctors and nurses and they truly had my life in their hands. I remember laying in that hospital bed bawling my eyes out because I was so sick that I thought I was going to die. It is a scary situation but I had to let these people take care of me or else I would not get better. I have had to learn to accept that I have bad health and that I have these problems that are life affecting, making daily life difficult and there is nothing I can do to change them. So I might as well accept them and live with them as best as I can! Not let my mental or physical health control me, but learn to live with it and make it manageable! Getting as sick as I do when these "attacks" happen is scary, each one worse then the last and I really hope that by working towards less stress and a better me, that I can perhaps break the tradition of the attacks! That would be wonderful! Hope for the best is all I can do! |
| The prompt is: 1.If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Ahhh...well I could never just pick one thing...growing up being verbally, emotionally and mentally abused,(actually I still am)...has caused me several mental health issues, which cause weight issues, which goes right along with the low self esteem that blends with the physical health issues as well...ugh...Can't change that crap I suppose...if so then I would change my lack of balls, my lack to confront or stand up to or have ANY conflict with ANY friend or family member...a stranger that runs their mouth...oh I am all over that shit running mine right back...but a friend or family member...whew my heart goes to my stomach and I feel sick thinking about conflict with them. Which is basically why I take all the shit that I do from SOOOOO many people!! I just am to scared to hurt their feelings, even when they do not care less if they hurt mine...I give people to many chances, always thinking they will change or not do whatever again..I get burned by that way of thinking more times then I would like to admit..\ Now THAT would be nice thing to change..... Oh yea..one more thing...I would change my boobs too lol NO...not bigger...Good Lord...as it is I can give myself 2 black eyes if I jump or run...but a reduction/perk up on them would be nice! To put them back where they were BK Aka~Before Kids!~ Bahaha Overall, I am learning, with age, to accept what I have and live life MY way and not let any of these things control ME any longer! Slowly but surly, I am catching on to that one! |
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