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One man's journey to find the way home |
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| Recovery is painful. I pray I survive another day. Last night was more threats of stormy weather as my main charge Hoodwinked me into giving him a marker and at that point I felt very torn apart. The issue revolved markers he said he stole from maintenance and then one of the staff takes pens and markers from him. I am sure it happens a lot in this man's world and he has dementia which some person's think he uses as a source of getting entitlement. So I give him a couple markers bsck, because the whole thing seems so bombastic. Who is the victim in all this? I feel irked more than anything by the spur to the crisis. He is not forthcoming about whether he took meds and staff says because of this I take clothes to wash and pens that have been in his possession for too long. What will come of this? Who knows? I am recovering from a cold, as I seek to understand what recovery means in the land of the intellectually disabled. Namely recovery of dignity and a remembrance of what it means to be truly human. |
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