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One man's journey to find the way home |
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| Healing takes time and then one has to decide from what. My daughter gave me a thumbs down on an article I shared about how men were suffering from inadequate male role models, confined to surviving under female influence. I am sure she saw it as an assault on woman who have done the best they can. I am faced with fighting my own battle without knowing who I might hurt or offend along the way. I certainly did not mean to get her roused from sleep. I was left with her own concession. That I have a right to my own experience and so does she said I in reply. What is most interesting is there never will be a commentary on how girls suffer from a lack of motherhood resources. In my own agency world women take care of intellectually disabled females men never getting any opportunity that way. On the other hand women continue to caregiver men in a leadership role and are bold and brazen about how well they do it. It is time for me to grow up. My wife needs me to be there for her and my family needs me in different ways also. Let culture fight the battle I will never win, to care and love those who might not otherwise know God's love AMEN!!! |
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