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One man's journey to find the way home |
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| How to retrieve my soul. In the midst of opportunity to work. I am faced with 35, 00 0 to end november. I will see. I am finishing November. 2 more weeks. Love the one you're with. |
| I am feeling the gravity. I now have six days till a day off. Today should be okay. In sixteen days the year ends and I have eight or nine days left, which seems like nothing. I am tired. I feel frustrated about maybe needing a two week quarantine after a four day visit. It seems ridiculous. One day at a time. Maybe two weeks would not be that bad. I am past caring!! |
| Getting there. It is hard to believe this day is about over. I still am not happy about all the money spent in November. There is way too much, around 4000 dollars. I am glad to enter December. Hopefully it will get better. |
| I am faced with working like it or not. It puts a tough taste in my mouth. The bigger problem is I can not afford medicare out of the gate. I need to hang in there. God will provide. I get the feeling I made a mistake along the way. I need to slow down and smell the roses. Any other approach is bound to kill me. I work tonight. I will need a nap at about 5 pm or so. God grant me strength. Help me to remember you will always be there for me. |
| I guess I will find out today. It clearly makes me feel no better. My wife feels good that she did something right. And yet the month is nearly over and there is no rent check. |
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