Search where?

This Portfolio (charlieabney)

All of Writing.Com

◄ February ► 2020
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
Archive				RSS

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Sunday, May. 19, 2024

2:43am EDT

Members: 790

Guests: 845

Total Online: 1,635

Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2030442 by Not Available.

and

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1974611 by Not Available.

I blog for things like

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2146101 by Not Available.

FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

February 2, 2020 at 12:43pm

#974735

Day 2: High Hopes

Artist: Panic! at the Disco
Song: High Hopes
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Day 2 - New to me

"We.are.fucked."

I'm sitting on a windowsill several stories up in the university library. From here, students scurrying between buildings below look like insects. Nate is sitting across from me, feral-eyed with an empty Red Bull crushed on the table in front of him and another in his hand. He leans back and throws his hands up repeating himself, "totally. fucked."

I shake my head and tell him that we're not fucked, but this only serves to further annoy him. Between us, dust floats in the late afternoon sun rays. He starts interrogating me, like, "Dude, how are we not fucked? We have less than 7 hours. We haven't started building the report, we stocked out during the last round, and we don't have enough capacity to meet demand. Amin isn't even fucking here. How are we not fucked??"

He leans forward then and runs his hands aggressively through his dark waves like he can shake the agitation out that way.

I'm dwelling on things I wish I could do. Like go back in time and convince myself to do this entire thing alone before the due date. Or at least talk to our professor who has disappeared from campus just in time for last-minute questions. Or convince myself to not care in the first place and let things fall where they may.

But this isn't the time to throw our hands up. So I say that. "This isn't the time to just throw our hands up, man."

Nate snaps his head up and looks at me with dark, red-rimmed eyes. “Gee, ya think??? Ya think 3 weeks before we’re supposed to graduate might not be the best time to throw our hands up? Genius.”

I’m physically biting my lower lip to keep my mouth closed. My part has been done for weeks and I’ve been reminding my group mates to work on their parts every other day since then. But going off about it now serves no purpose.

“Alright. Let’s just break down what we need to-“

“Everything. We need to do everything,” he interrupts. “We don’t have enough time to-“

I interrupt more forcefully, “Okay. You’ve gotta chill for a minute, bro. Let me just-“

“You’ve just been sitting in the window for like 45 minutes. We’ve done fucking nothing.”

He’s not wrong. And if we don’t finish this, we don’t graduate. I can’t even fathom having to come back during the spring semester to redo this class.

But I can’t think about that now.

I stand up. “Okay, I’m going to pull the financials and see what we can get from long-term debt and mess with the marketing to promote the products we do have capacity for. You start pulling the data from the last round into the spreadsheet.”

And for once, there’s no argument.

Had to have high high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn’t make a killing
Didn’t have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high high hopes

7 Like • Comment • View 4 comments

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2181458-Are-You-Listening/day/2-2-2020