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 |   So playing the trombone wasn't getting me in enough trouble? |
| I need someplace to write down the often confusing thoughts that enter my mind, while my stories give voice to the characters that wander through periodically, this is the place for my voice. Join me if you wish, comment if you wish, all are welcomed and appreciated. |
| It all started on Cozumel — at least what I can remember of it did. Cozumel itself had been fantastic, the tour and climb of the Mayan ruins at Coba. Ziplining over the beautiful crystal lagune, though for the life of me, I can't figure out how Andre managed to zipline back uphill to do it three times. Rappeling into, swimming, and snorkeling in the cenote  was a lot of fun. Of course, Andre had to show off while we rappelled down, but I got him back when I put his swimmy's on him before he'd get in the water.Best of all, though, was the extraordinary special visit we had to the Monkey Sanctuary in Punta Laguna. We got to meet many of Andre's little cousins and spent the day getting to know them. The visit ended much too soon, and it was time to board the chopper and head back to the boat. We cracked open a bottle (or two) of tequila that Andre's buddies had given us, polishing them off before we descended onto the boat, that was already heading out to sea. Captain Cedric was not happy with our rappelling onto his bridge, particularly since Andre insisted on wearing an eye patch and shouting, "Arrrr! We be boarding this wallowing tub ye scurvy vermin!" Cedric quickly ushered us off the bridge, leading us in a chorus of "What Do You Do With A Drunken Monkey," which sounded familiar; I couldn't quite place the tune — We both showered away the day and took naps, waking up just in time to don our tuxes for formal night — this is where it gets fuzzy. The rest of these recollections are pieced together from my addled memory and accounts of my fellow cruise passengers. Just like any event involving Andre, there were copious amounts of spirits involved, among them, more tequila, some excellent rum, an outstanding Honey Mead — and don't forget the cigars! The maître d'hôtel rolled his eyes repeatedly as we first pushed tables aside to dance to the mariachi band. He fainted when we finally succumbed to just dancing on them! Captain Cedric revived him, only to have him pass out once more when Andre and a certain someone began to swing from chandelier to chandelier. I remember playing trumpet with the band and winning a bet (somebody owes me a drink — lemonade will be just fine, thank you!). That's about it. That's my last unclear memory until I woke up bobbing around in a lifeboat towed behind the ship. Andre was leaning over one side, chumming but not fishing, while I leaned over the other, doing the same. When Captain Cedric finally let us both back aboard the ship, we spent the remainder of the cruise in the infirmary. Lilith of House Martell and Brother Nature had the "Invalid Item" staff physician flown in to care for us, that worthy doctor felt the need to further consult a specialist to aid in our cure. We are both fine now.BUT! Andre just took a pass on a rum and coke, and we may have learned our lesson for a bit. I'll get back to you on that.     ...I'm only the trombone player! |
| I woke up to a blood-curdling Monkey Scream at 5 AM this morning. By the time I was out of bed and put my glasses on, Andre had barricaded himself into our bathroom. He had gotten up early and decided to research our next destination Cozumel, Mexico. Unfortunately he found this thread on Trip Advisor – Monkeys . It was this entry from the thread that had agitated Andre; 9. Re: Monkeys ~ 8 years ago “There used to be monkeys and parrots but boa constrictors were introduced by a European film crew that released the snakes after filming and it wiped out the population of both. i've been told people are seeing parrots again but can't verify that myself.” There was no way I was getting this Monkey off the boat and into port in Cozumel! Thinking fast and without coffee, I looked for some alternatives. Luckily I found this; COBA & MONKEY SANCTUARY "This is an exciting adventure like no other in Cozumel or the Riviera Maya. You'll explore the ancient Mayan Ruins of Coba, swim in a cenote, and visit the monkey preserve of Punta Laguna, where you can see spider monkeys and howler monkeys swinging from the treetops, and if you're quiet, maybe even coming up close for a curious look. A true ecological adventure!" Now, this was right up Andre’s alley. Usually this tour isn’t available to cruise passengers because of the travel time involved, but when you’re traveling with Andre, things have a way of working out. It took a bit of coaxing, (fresh banana muffins and an uncorked bottle of Patron Cafe XO), but I got Andre out of the bathroom. I let him read the itinerary for the tour. He jumped for joy when he read about the Monkey Sanctuary.. Knowing time was short Andre placed an immediate call and summoned the Chihuahua's and the chopper, before we were even docked we heard the whirlybirds buzz past the ship. We made it off the boat and were at the pad lickity-split. It was a short chopper ride to the start of the excursion, we gave the Chihuahua's the morning off so they could visit relatives. When we got to the Sanctuary, everybody on the bus was wondering if we'd see Monkeys? (Totally missing the fact that Andre was sitting in the back of the bus already.) Andre just smiled a knowing little grin. At the first stop he got off the bus, chattered a bit, and we were surrounded by tribe of monkeys, all of them appeared to know Andre. Apparently he's famous in the Monkey Business World, and quite well liked. We spent a while among the tribe, took pictures and there were some tears of happiness as we parted. We made it back in plenty of time, Andre is taking a little nap before formal night. We did tried our tuxes on, I got a picture of Andre in his! See everybody at dinner.  ...I'm only the trombone player! |
| I woke up to the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Opening one cautious eye, I checked to make sure Lilli wasn’t sneaking around playing pranks on the passengers. Much to my surprise, Andre was up and about, all chipper and eager to go. He had even ordered breakfast for us. MAN! Those banana pancakes were yummy! Some great coffee and PINEAPPLE RUM PUNCH MIMOSAS to wash them down. We ate breakfast on the balcony, where we watched Captain Cedric skillfully pilot the ship into the dock at Key West. Andre was eager to be among the first people to disembark, so we hurried down to the gangplank — but, not before stopping to get a round of Mimosas to go. Andre made sure I tipped the barkeep heavily; this was a perk we intended to take full advantage of for the rest of the cruise. Andre was in a hurry. He was looking forward to meeting Key West’s famous Gypsy Chickens. Andre had heard quite a bit about them, their history, and the special status the chickens held on the Island. He was very excited to meet them and immediately made a date with several of them for lunch at the Banana Café. The chickens were quite taken with Andre and gave us a guided tour of the hotspots in Key West — including the best place to take a dust bath.We had a great time in Key West, and there were so many places to find great drinks that we almost didn’t want to head back to the boat! We finally did, making it by the less than a banana peel to spare. There was quite a to-do when one of the roosters tried to board with us! It seemed like quite the problem until he whipped out a guitar and started strummin’ and singin’. Captain Cedric hired him on the spot, Elvis the rooster, will be performing in the main lounge tonight!  |
I arrived at the ship in plenty of time to make the boarding call, in fact, for my taste it was a bit too early. The three stooges partners in crime very fine muses (There are you three ok with that? who pester instigate trouble lead me down a righteous path decided to make sure I made the boat. They claim I have been cranky, irritable, and "no fun whatsoever lately". So at precisely 4:51 AM this morning a Police Helicopter began orbiting my bedroom, the down-wash from its whirling blades blowing the bedding off me. As if that wasn't enough, it periodically flashed a searchlight on the windows, presumably to aid its landing. (Yeah, this part is True, now back to your usually scheduled fiction!) Turns out though it wasn't a police chopper, I realized that when six chihuahuas repelled into my bedroom, rolled me out of bed and onto a basket that hauled me aboard the chopper. My luggage, a five-gallon pail of sunscreen (chubby little bald guys have got to be careful), a trombone, and two cases of assorted liquor were hauled up after me. A quick chopper chopper ride to Republic Airport and me and all my stuff was bundled onto an ancient looking biplane. I was mighty shocked to see the pilot was a cigar smoking monkey — I didn't know Monkeys smoked cigars! All in all it was a very smooth flight, not counting the barrel rolls and immelmann loops. Once we landed I was whisked away via a dog cart, drawn by yet another team of chihuahuas. (We must have a million little fellas on the payroll) The trip to the cruise ship was fast and comfortable, if a bit Yippie~Yappie. I was met at dockside by our erstwhile Captain, who led me up the gangplank, bending to pickup a tiny umbrella, the Captain grimaced and said, "You'll be rooming with Andre," pointing out a trail of similar umbrellas leading further into the ship, "I don't think you'll have trouble finding your cabin." I found the cabin easily — and a passed out monkey sleeping on the balcony. I woke him slowly by waving a fresh Mojito under his nose. He perked up right away, suggesting we go exploring. I – AyeYiYi never realized there were that many bars on a Smooze Crip – errrr – I mean Cruise Ship! Hey! Di...did you guys know Andre schnores (hic) snores I mean — Nighty Night All!! P.S. I almost gorfot, I t-took a picture of the pilot. Wanna share it with ya...  |
| I thought I'd take a look back at the first half of May and try to figure out just where the train wreck started — It all started out well, I had a plan, and it seemed like a good one a the time; There were no contests, raffles, or any side gigs to contend with. I had convinced Anon-Y-Monkey, Pub Bunny, and the Grumpy Leprechaun that I needed some time off from their shananigans to actually do a few things for me. I was going to take a course here on Writing.Com. Along with that course, I was planning either a short story or the opening chapters of a novella. I was going to do at least fifteen reviews. I was also going to try organizing and plotting out some of my abandoned stories. The Score? I am hopelessly behind in my course. (curses — because what I have completed has been really helpful) Thank You blimprider! Not a single review. — Not one. I didn't even manage to get a review in for the Super Power Raid. And I haven't even peeked into my portfolio (it has to be really dusty and musty in there). Yeah, yeah, there are excuses. The whole Covid thing (you can read about that here "The Quarantine Blues" ) set me on my backside, I spent too much of that time worrying uselessly when I could have been productive.Work as always intervened in several ways, from supervising the talent hunt in its search for fresh teaching meat for the educational grinder to the mundane task of creating the final for my Regents level Music Theory class, it seemed every task was just a little more intense then it needed to be. We have three Dept. Chair level positions and five other positions to fill, unless we hire all three Chairs from within, a strong and growing possibility, in which case we have eight non Chair level positions to fill. For those eight/eleven positions, we received 252 applications/resume packets. The first pass, handled by our HR people eliminated forty-nine of them for reasons related to credentialing, background check failures, and other automatic disqualifications. A mere 203 resumes to read and score while herding the others on the committee to do the same in a timely fashion. Present the lucky seventy-five to HR, who now request their applicant's references, and teaching videos. HR checks the references, we watch and score the videos, we are down to twenty-five. Now in-person interviews are starting, an HR rep, a member of the search committee, and myself. I am the ONLY one that has to attend All twenty-five. Yesterday I had the pleasure of creating about thirty Thank You For Applying/Rejection Letters. So that's where that task is, we are fifteen interviews in, with the rest to follow this week. Then, there's the Regents Exam. Every year my Music Theory 2 section has to take a Regents instead of a final exam. For this, they get Regents Credit in Music and can claim that's their quasi High School Major Sequence. The Regents offered by the state do not cover nearly all that my kids have learned, so every year I have to create and submit my own Regents for approval. It always consists of seventy true/false, multiple-choice questions, and a thirty-point creative question. This year the reviewer thought my thirty-pointer was "too hard" and would result in too many kids failing. Aside from the fact that she doesn't know the kids, does she really think I'd set them up to fail? We arrived at a compromise — I created another much easier thirty-pointer, but I am allowed to include both on the final. We have a bet on which option my kids are going to take, she is so gonna lose! Anyway, I am going to try to salvage the last half of May the best I can. That is after Lilith of House Martell and Andre's Cruise gets done with me. Thanks For Stopping By! |
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Credit is delaying the pain unless one pays it off every month. I don't buy what I can't afford. I don't go into debt. I live well by living well within my means. 
